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->''[On arriving at a dinner setting that is surprisingly romantic]''\\
'''President Bartlet:''' They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...\\
'''Leo:''' I know.\\
'''Bartlet:''' We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.\\
'''Leo:''' [[LampshadeHanging And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.]]\\
'''Bartlet:''' Yeah.
-->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
'''President Bartlet:''' They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...\\
'''Leo:''' I know.\\
'''Bartlet:''' We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.\\
'''Leo:''' [[LampshadeHanging And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.]]\\
'''Bartlet:''' Yeah.
-->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
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->''[On arriving at a dinner setting that is surprisingly romantic]''\\
'''President Bartlet:''' They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...\\
'''Leo:''' I know.\\
'''Bartlet:''' We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.\\
'''Leo:''' [[LampshadeHanging And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.]]\\
'''Bartlet:''' Yeah.
-->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
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[[AC:Real Life]]
->Slater's comforting arm around the shoulder is quickly whipped away when someone walks by, allowing his pal to [[WithFriendsLikeThese thunk his head on the bench]], in deadly fear of being thought of as a gay poof. It gets a big laugh, but in fairness, it's representative of the homophobic banter of [[TheEighties 80's]] playgrounds, when you could barely open your mouth to speak without some wise-guy accusing you of inviting a nice big cock into it.
-->-- '''Stuart Millard''', ''So Excited, So Scared: The ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' Retrospective''
->''(John)'' Kerry's theatrics did not improve as the primary campaign wore on. The Massachusetts senator all but asked Republicans to ridicule him, with ad-libs such as, 'Who among us does not love UsefulNotes/{{NASCAR}}?' In an interview in the men's magazine ''GQ'', he joined he reporter for a beer (alcoholic--no teetotaler he!) while confessing to a modicum of lust for Creator/CharlizeTheron and Catherine Zeta-Jones. One day during the campaign he invited reporters to follow him around on a 'day off,' when his errands included [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday buying a jockstrap.]]
-->-- '''Frank Rich''', ''The Greatest Story Ever Sold''
->One of the many compliments [[Creator/NormanMailer Mailer]] has tendered the Patriarchs over the years is [[HeteronormativeCrusader never having succumbed to whatever homosexual urges they might have had.]] Now, to his shock, instead of getting at least a Congressional Medal of Honor for his heroism, he sees slowly descending upon his brow an unmistakable dunce cap. All that hanging about boxers, to no good end!
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', "Feminism and its Discontents"
->Slater's comforting arm around the shoulder is quickly whipped away when someone walks by, allowing his pal to [[WithFriendsLikeThese thunk his head on the bench]], in deadly fear of being thought of as a gay poof. It gets a big laugh, but in fairness, it's representative of the homophobic banter of [[TheEighties 80's]] playgrounds, when you could barely open your mouth to speak without some wise-guy accusing you of inviting a nice big cock into it.
-->-- '''Stuart Millard''', ''So Excited, So Scared: The ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' Retrospective''
->''(John)'' Kerry's theatrics did not improve as the primary campaign wore on. The Massachusetts senator all but asked Republicans to ridicule him, with ad-libs such as, 'Who among us does not love UsefulNotes/{{NASCAR}}?' In an interview in the men's magazine ''GQ'', he joined he reporter for a beer (alcoholic--no teetotaler he!) while confessing to a modicum of lust for Creator/CharlizeTheron and Catherine Zeta-Jones. One day during the campaign he invited reporters to follow him around on a 'day off,' when his errands included [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday buying a jockstrap.]]
-->-- '''Frank Rich''', ''The Greatest Story Ever Sold''
->One of the many compliments [[Creator/NormanMailer Mailer]] has tendered the Patriarchs over the years is [[HeteronormativeCrusader never having succumbed to whatever homosexual urges they might have had.]] Now, to his shock, instead of getting at least a Congressional Medal of Honor for his heroism, he sees slowly descending upon his brow an unmistakable dunce cap. All that hanging about boxers, to no good end!
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', "Feminism and its Discontents"
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->"Rico, my close but strictly heterosexual war buddy, I've fallen in lust with a hot space pilot with amazing hooters!"
-->-- '''Dix Hauzer''', ''[[Film/StarshipTroopers3Marauder Starship Hooters 3: Undresser]]''
-->-- '''Dix Hauzer''', ''[[Film/StarshipTroopers3Marauder Starship Hooters 3: Undresser]]''
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->Lest you think either star is gay, the film [''Film/BigTroubleInLittleTokyo''] goes out of its way to dissuade you of such a notion. Earlier in the film, Johnny Murata and Chris Kenner visit a social club in which naked women are decorated with sushi. Murata [[DistractedByTheSexy loses his composure]] and is extremely hornt. Kenner even beds a woman right before the big "[[GayMoment hey, I kinda like your big penis]]" line. This provides cover for both characters and, frankly, both actors from accusations of being gay. A "no homo" turned up to 11.
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->Lest you think either star is gay, the film [''Film/BigTroubleInLittleTokyo''] [''Film/ShowdownInLittleTokyo''] goes out of its way to dissuade you of such a notion. Earlier in the film, Johnny Murata and Chris Kenner visit a social club in which naked women are decorated with sushi. Murata [[DistractedByTheSexy loses his composure]] and is extremely hornt. Kenner even beds a woman right before the big "[[GayMoment hey, I kinda like your big penis]]" line. This provides cover for both characters and, frankly, both actors from accusations of being gay. A "no homo" turned up to 11.
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->Lest you think either star is gay, the film [''Film/BigTroubleInLittleTokyo''] goes out of its way to dissuade you of such a notion. Earlier in the film, Johnny Murata and Chris Kenner visit a social club in which naked women are decorated with sushi. Murata [[DistractedByTheSexy loses his composure]] and is extremely hornt. Kenner even beds a woman right before the big "[[GayMoment hey, I kinda like your big penis]]" line. This provides cover for both characters and, frankly, both actors from accusations of being gay. A "no homo" turned up to 11.
->Action moves from this era often feature this disavowal, this reassurance to the audience that they're not watching anything gay and therefore not participating in anything gay. The disavowal [[NoBisexuals makes no mention or indication]] that the male stars of the film might simply be bisexual or pansexual. Their activities in which they perform heteronormativity are enough for the film and for the audience to plant them firmly in the "straight" category.
-->-- '''WebVideo/RenegadeCut''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wsHjT8sPi4 Queer Theory in 80's and 90's Action Movies]]''
->Action moves from this era often feature this disavowal, this reassurance to the audience that they're not watching anything gay and therefore not participating in anything gay. The disavowal [[NoBisexuals makes no mention or indication]] that the male stars of the film might simply be bisexual or pansexual. Their activities in which they perform heteronormativity are enough for the film and for the audience to plant them firmly in the "straight" category.
-->-- '''WebVideo/RenegadeCut''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wsHjT8sPi4 Queer Theory in 80's and 90's Action Movies]]''
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-->--Ellen Morgan (played by [[Creator/EllenDegeneres Ellen DeGeneres]], ''Series/{{Ellen}}''
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-->--Ellen Morgan (played by [[Creator/EllenDegeneres Ellen DeGeneres]], DeGeneres]]), ''Series/{{Ellen}}''
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->"Ice! I like ice! Heterosexuals like ice!"
-->--Ellen Morgan (played by [[Creator/EllenDegeneres Ellen DeGeneres]], ''Series/{{Ellen}}''
-->--Ellen Morgan (played by [[Creator/EllenDegeneres Ellen DeGeneres]], ''Series/{{Ellen}}''
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->'''Girls:''' So what are you guys out doing today?\\
'''Joey:''' Oh we're not out! No, no, we're just two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend doing the usual "straight guy" stuff.\\
'''Chandler:''' You done?
-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with the Baby on the Bus"[[note]]To be fair, they were mistaken for a gay couple in the previous scene[[/note]]
'''Joey:''' Oh we're not out! No, no, we're just two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend doing the usual "straight guy" stuff.\\
'''Chandler:''' You done?
-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with the Baby on the Bus"[[note]]To be fair, they were mistaken for a gay couple in the previous scene[[/note]]
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->'''Mio''': "Hello, boys and girls! We're so glad to see you all! Especially the boys! We like to look at boys! Right, Azusa?"
->'''Azusa''': "Whatever."
->'''Mio''': "Right! We love boys! 'Cause we're girls! GIRL POWER!"
-->-- ''Fanfic/TangledUpInIndigo''
->'''Azusa''': "Whatever."
->'''Mio''': "Right! We love boys! 'Cause we're girls! GIRL POWER!"
-->-- ''Fanfic/TangledUpInIndigo''
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->I luv u 2 Link becuz ur a guy and im strate.
-->--'''Sara''', ''Fanfic/SupperSmashBrosMishonhFromGod''
-->--'''Sara''', ''Fanfic/SupperSmashBrosMishonhFromGod''
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-->--''[[Literature/LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal]]''
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-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/10/27/the-difficult-brown-got-arrested-for-being-the-difficult-brown/ Michael K.]]''', "The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown"
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-->--''Podcast/KakosIndustries''
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->''[[BlatantLies I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT STRAIGHT!]]''
-->-- Marik, ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
-->-- Marik, ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
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-->--
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-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''
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-->--'''William Murderface,''' WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}
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-->--'''Frank Rich''', ''The Greatest Story Ever Sold''
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->''[On arriving at a dinner setting that is surprisingly romantic]''
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->''[On arriving at a dinner setting that is surprisingly romantic]''romantic]''\\
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->''[On arriving at a dinner setting that is surprisingly romantic]''
'''President Bartlet:''' They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...\\
'''Leo:''' I know.\\
'''Bartlet:''' We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.\\
'''Leo:''' [[LampshadeHanging And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.]]\\
'''Bartlet:''' Yeah.
-->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
'''President Bartlet:''' They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...\\
'''Leo:''' I know.\\
'''Bartlet:''' We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.\\
'''Leo:''' [[LampshadeHanging And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.]]\\
'''Bartlet:''' Yeah.
-->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
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->We live across the hall. No! We don't live 'together'. I mean, we live together, but in separate heterosexual bedrooms.
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'''Joey:''' Oh we're not out! No, no, we're just two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend doing the usual "straight guy" stuff.\\
'''Chandler:''' You done?
-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with the Baby on the Bus"[[note]]To be fair, they were mistaken for a gay couple in the previous scene[[/note]]
->''"We live across the hall. No! We don't live 'together'. I mean, we live together, but in separate heterosexual bedrooms."''
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->My name is Olaf Peterson. I am very good in bed.
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''
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->- I'm so mad, I'm going to go have sex with my girlfriend so I won't be mad!
-->-- '''[[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]]''', ''Webcomic/TailsGetsTrolled''
-->-- '''[[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]]''', ''Webcomic/TailsGetsTrolled''
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-->-- '''Tyler,''' WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland
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-->-- '''Tyler,''' WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland
WesternAnimation/TotalDrama
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-> "Remember that 'Valley of Virility' thing I once mentioned ? That's where I feel ''Film/TopGun'' lies. It is so straight that it's looped back around to gay."
-->-- [[WebVideo/NeedsMoreGay Rantasmo]], ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLSRRBZFeKo Top Gun Needs More Gay]]''
-->-- [[WebVideo/NeedsMoreGay Rantasmo]], ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLSRRBZFeKo Top Gun Needs More Gay]]''
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->''I'm not gay, but if I was, I would want equal rights\\
I'm not gay, but if I were, I would marry who I like?\\
It's not fair - I'm not gay - that the government has a say\\
In who can love who (not gay)\\
Or to which god you can pray (I'm n'gay)''
-->-- '''[=Conner4Real=]''', "Equal Rights", ''Film/PopstarNeverStopNeverStopping''
I'm not gay, but if I were, I would marry who I like?\\
It's not fair - I'm not gay - that the government has a say\\
In who can love who (not gay)\\
Or to which god you can pray (I'm n'gay)''
-->-- '''[=Conner4Real=]''', "Equal Rights", ''Film/PopstarNeverStopNeverStopping''
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->I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but...(increasingly homoerotic statement).
-->-- '''Dave the Lighting Guy''', ''Film/{{Orgazmo}}''
-->-- '''Dave the Lighting Guy''', ''Film/{{Orgazmo}}''
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->'''Evan and Connor:''' Our friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond!\\
'''Evan:''' But not because we're gay!\\
'''Connor:''' No, not because we're gay!\\
'''Evan and Connor:''' We're close, but not that way!
-->--'''Sincerely, Me''', ''Theatre/DearEvanHansen''
'''Evan:''' But not because we're gay!\\
'''Connor:''' No, not because we're gay!\\
'''Evan and Connor:''' We're close, but not that way!
-->--'''Sincerely, Me''', ''Theatre/DearEvanHansen''
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->"Even though we are venturing into the world of fashion, I assure you all I am not gay."
-->--'''William Murderface,''' WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}
-->--'''William Murderface,''' WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}
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->I did not want to make love with a young boy! I like men my own age...Ahhh! I mean I like women! Oh God, I love titties!
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-->-->'''Drunk Poet Girl''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep-zCds7J_c Drunk Hotline]]''
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->I found out my mom's a homophobe. . . . . . I'm not gay, mind you.
-->-->'''Drunk Poet Girl''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep-zCds7J_c Drunk Hotline]]''
-->-->'''Drunk Poet Girl''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep-zCds7J_c Drunk Hotline]]''
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->People preparing for this handshake should anticipate a sudden shift from a standard handshake to a hand with palm facing down and pinkie and thumb extended, followed by jet noises and a zooming motion, some clapping, a single snap, and then a hug where both arms are actually held inward toward the chest so only the elbows of both parties touch. It is also appropriate to shout “We’re definitely not gay!”
-->--''Podcast/KakosIndustries''
-->--''Podcast/KakosIndustries''
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->There is something about a guy who proudly proclaims ''Scarface'' is his favorite movie that makes me think they secretly have ''Film/SleeplessInSeattle'' hiding in their bedroom.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day-2009-troy-duffy/ on]] ''Film/TheBoondockSaints 2: All Saint's Day''
->'''Music/ChrisBrown''': You know, boxing. I like to get shirtless, get sweaty and fist other dudes.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/10/27/the-difficult-brown-got-arrested-for-being-the-difficult-brown/ Michael K.]]''', "The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown"
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->There is something about a guy who proudly proclaims ''Scarface'' is his favorite movie that makes me think they secretly have ''Film/SleeplessInSeattle'' hiding in their bedroom.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day-2009-troy-duffy/ on]] ''Film/TheBoondockSaints 2: All Saint's Day''
->'''Music/ChrisBrown''': You know, boxing. I like to get shirtless, get sweaty and fist other dudes.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/10/27/the-difficult-brown-got-arrested-for-being-the-difficult-brown/ Michael K.]]''', "The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Real Life]]
[[folder:Web Original]]
->There is something about a guy who proudly proclaims ''Scarface'' is his favorite movie that makes me think they secretly have ''Film/SleeplessInSeattle'' hiding in their bedroom.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day-2009-troy-duffy/ on]] ''Film/TheBoondockSaints 2: All Saint's Day''
->'''Music/ChrisBrown''': You know, boxing. I like to get shirtless, get sweaty and fist other dudes.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/10/27/the-difficult-brown-got-arrested-for-being-the-difficult-brown/ Michael K.]]''', "The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown"
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->There is something about a guy who proudly proclaims ''Scarface'' is his favorite movie that makes me think they secretly have ''Film/SleeplessInSeattle'' hiding in their bedroom.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day-2009-troy-duffy/ on]] ''Film/TheBoondockSaints 2: All Saint's Day''
->'''Music/ChrisBrown''': You know, boxing. I like to get shirtless, get sweaty and fist other dudes.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/10/27/the-difficult-brown-got-arrested-for-being-the-difficult-brown/ Michael K.]]''', "The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Real
->''(John)'' Kerry's theatrics did not improve as the primary campaign wore on. The Massachusetts senator all but asked Republicans to ridicule him, with ad-libs such as, 'Who among us does not love UsefulNotes/{{NASCAR}}?' In an interview in the men's magazine ''GQ'', he joined he reporter for a beer (alcoholic--no teetotaler he!) while confessing to a modicum of lust for Creator/CharlizeTheron and Catherine Zeta-Jones. One day during the campaign he invited reporters to follow him around on a 'day off,' when his errands included [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday buying a jockstrap.]]
-->--'''Frank Rich''', ''The Greatest Story Ever Sold''
-->--'''Frank Rich''', ''The Greatest Story Ever Sold''
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-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''[[GuitarHero Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock]]''
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-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''[[GuitarHero ''[[VideoGame/GuitarHero Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock]]''
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-->-- '''[[MST3K Tom Servo]]''', mocking Watney Smith in ''[[Literature/{{Gor}} Outlaw Of Gor]]''
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-->-- '''[[MST3K '''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Tom Servo]]''', mocking Watney Smith in ''[[Literature/{{Gor}} Outlaw Of Gor]]''
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->I did not want to make love with a young boy! I like men my own age...Ahhh! I mean I like women! Oh God, I love titties!
-->-- '''Mr. Garrison,''' WesternAnimation/SouthPark
-->-- '''Mr. Garrison,''' WesternAnimation/SouthPark