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-> Look at this loser,\\
Drinking coffee.\\
({{beat}})\\
Now it's decaf!
-->-- '''Bill Cipher''', ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', “It’s Gonna Get Weird (Cut Song)”
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->''"Now, I'm a certain sort of evil. Not "death camp" evil, not "serial killer" evil. But I take a perverse pleasure in being paid through the nose for ''nothing of any value''. That is my dream, and I'm not gonna let it die!"''
-->-- '''The OurSloganIsTerrible Marketing Guru''', ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook''
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[[folder:Blog]]
->''It can be difficult to ascertain the full social context of any given scene in the Mostly Featureless ''Lockhorns'' Void, but it really seems like nobody else is as this “party” and that Leroy went to the trouble of getting party hats and a cake just to give Loretta this cruel card. I like that he’s stepped a few feet away from her as she reads it, to be sure that he’s fully out of her emotional penumbra as the message really hits home.''
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''' [[https://joshreads.com/2020/11/chimeric-nightmares/ on]] ''ComicStrip/TheLockhorns''
[[/folder]]
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->''"What are a few lives lost when it allows you validated parking?"''

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->''"What ->"What are a few lives lost when it allows you validated parking?"''parking?"
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->"You'd delay an execution to pull the wings off a fly."
-->--'''The Doctor''' to the Master, ''Series/DoctorWho'' ([[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS14E3TheDeadlyAssassin}} "The Deadly Assassin"]])

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->''"I played a film clip of Nixon in his vice presidential days. The soundtrack is missing, so it is a silent movie. An official banquet of some sort. Nixon remembers [[TheUnsmile to smile the way people do]]. A waiter approaches him with a large, sticky-looking dessert. At that moment, Nixon leans over to speak to his partner on the left, frustrating the waiter's effort to serve him. The waiter moves on. Nixon sits back; realizes that his dessert has been given to the man on his right. He waves to the waiter, who does not see him. Now the Nixon face is beginning to resemble that of [[Theatre/RichardIII the third English king of his name.]] Eyes--yes, [[ClintSquint mere slits]]--dart first left, then right. Coast is clear. Ruthless Plantagenet king, using his fork as a broadsword, scoops up half the dessert on the neighbor's plate and dumps it on his own. As he takes the first taste of the dessert, there is a radiance in his eyes that I have never seen before or since. [[ThrowTheDogABone Nixon is happy.]] Pie in the sky on the plate at last."''

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->''"I
->''He was a hard man who really wanted to win, all the time. He wanted to win at chess. It's well known that in chess when you touch a piece, you've got to move it. That's in the rules. But Ceausescu would touch a piece and see that it was a bad move and say, "No, no, wait, wait. I haven't thought long enough."''
-->--'''Gheorghe Apostol''', as quoted in ''The Life and Evil Times of Nicolae Ceausescu''

->''I
played a film clip of Nixon in his vice presidential days. The soundtrack is missing, so it is a silent movie. An official banquet of some sort. Nixon remembers [[TheUnsmile to smile the way people do]]. A waiter approaches him with a large, sticky-looking dessert. At that moment, Nixon leans over to speak to his partner on the left, frustrating the waiter's effort to serve him. The waiter moves on. Nixon sits back; realizes that his dessert has been given to the man on his right. He waves to the waiter, who does not see him. Now the Nixon face is beginning to resemble that of [[Theatre/RichardIII the third English king of his name.]] Eyes--yes, [[ClintSquint mere slits]]--dart first left, then right. Coast is clear. Ruthless Plantagenet king, using his fork as a broadsword, scoops up half the dessert on the neighbor's plate and dumps it on his own. As he takes the first taste of the dessert, there is a radiance in his eyes that I have never seen before or since. [[ThrowTheDogABone Nixon is happy.]] Pie in the sky on the plate at last."''''
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->Officers slid past the Messiah as he looked over the display, stepping carefully in the dim lighting. The low illumination and red gleam were supposed to remind the Brotherhood that, for all their power and technology, they were an organization that thrived in the darkness and the shadows, both literally and figuratively.\\
\\
In reality, Kane preferred the dim red light because people tended to stumble over things they couldn't see. It was small and trivial and definitely petty, but something the Messiah found endlessly amusing.
-->--''FanFic/TiberiumWars''
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->''"Say you are given a quest to get a schoolgirl's cat out of a tree. On average you are given three options:'' [[AC:Neutral]], ''where you get the cat down and accept the girl's allowance as payment;'' [[AC:Good]], ''where you waive the fee and fondly tousle the girl's hair as she scampers off; and'' [[AC:ASSHOLE]], ''where you set fire to the tree and stomp up and down on the schoolgirl's face. And speaking ''as'' an asshole, this offends me. There are so many wonderful ways to be a complete ponce that these games don't cater for. Why can't I rescue the cat, but hold it for ransom for her dad's porn collection? Or get the cat out by throwing rocks at it so it breaks all its legs on the concrete, and then still expect to be paid with [[LoopholeAbuse the infuriatingly infallible logic of a complete tosser]]?"''

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->''"Say you are given a quest to get a schoolgirl's cat out of a tree. On average you are given three options:'' [[AC:Neutral]], '''Neutral''', ''where you get the cat down and accept the girl's allowance as payment;'' [[AC:Good]], '''Good''', ''where you waive the fee and fondly tousle the girl's hair as she scampers off; and'' [[AC:ASSHOLE]], '''ASSHOLE''', ''where you set fire to the tree and stomp up and down on the schoolgirl's face. And speaking ''as'' an asshole, this offends me. There are so many wonderful ways to be a complete ponce that these games don't cater for. Why can't I rescue the cat, but hold it for ransom for her dad's porn collection? Or get the cat out by throwing rocks at it so it breaks all its legs on the concrete, and then still expect to be paid with [[LoopholeAbuse the infuriatingly infallible logic of a complete tosser]]?"''
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'''Crablante:''' *laughs* Whatever. I've killed people for a lot less. [[DisproportionateRetribution Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exertions!]]

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'''Crablante:''' *laughs* Whatever. I've killed people for a lot less. [[DisproportionateRetribution Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exertions!]]exceptions!]]
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->'''Fuegoleon:''' For a childish reason like that, you've… You fool!! Don't toy with me!! \\
'''Rades:''' Childish…?! That's the thing about reasons. They're always simple, y'know?!
-->-- ''Manga/BlackClover''
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-->-- ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'', FlavorText for [[https://scryfall.com/card/ons/127/blackmail Blackmail]].

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-->-- ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'', FlavorText for [[https://scryfall.com/card/ons/127/blackmail com/card/9ed/115/blackmail Blackmail]].
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->'''Saitama:''' Oh, come on! You're really gonna [[WouldHurtAChild kill this kid]] over some harmless little prank? Doesn’t that seem kinda harsh?\\
'''Crablante:''' *laughs* Whatever. I've killed people for a lot less. [[DisproportionateRetribution Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exertions!]]
-->-- ''Webcomic/OnePunchMan''
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'''Shadow:''' Yeah, well no. [[YouAreFat You're fat]]. *Smirks* Lol. [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain Get rekt you fat scrub man]]. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.\\

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'''Shadow:''' Yeah, well no. [[YouAreFat You're fat]]. *Smirks* Lol. [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain Get rekt you fat scrub man]].man. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.\\

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[[folder:Card Games]]
->''In addition to killing peasants, punishing subordinates, and raising an army of nightmares, Braids somehow found time for her favorite hobby: petty extortion.''
-->-- ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'', FlavorText for [[https://scryfall.com/card/ons/127/blackmail Blackmail]].
[[/folder]]



'''Goeth''': [[BadBoss I'm not going to have arguments with these people]]-- No, shoot her ''here'', on my authority.\\

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'''Goeth''': [[BadBoss I'm not going to have arguments with these people]]-- No, people]] -- no, shoot her ''here'', on my authority.\\
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->''"At first I thought Adam was 'justice', then I thought he was 'passion'. But over time, I realized I was wrong. He wasn’t any of those things. He was 'spite'. Not 'hatred', not 'rage', 'spite'. He won’t accept equality, only suffering for what he feels the world did to him, and his way of thinking is dangerously contagious."''

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->''"At first I thought Adam was 'justice', then I thought he was 'passion'. But over time, I realized I was wrong. He wasn’t wasn't any of those things. He was 'spite'. Not 'hatred', not 'rage', 'spite'. He won’t accept equality, only suffering for what he feels the world did to him, and his way of thinking is dangerously contagious."''
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->''"The inevitability of his existence does not give meaning to what he does. Beerus acts [[BlueAndOrangeMorality only on his own whim]]. He is nothing but bottled chaos."''
-->--'''Old Kai''' on [[DestroyerDeity Beerus]], ''Anime/DragonBallSuper''
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-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', [[https://youtu.be/po1qdT7mj-s?t=413 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]

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-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', ''[[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub SnapCube]]'', [[https://youtu.be/po1qdT7mj-s?t=413 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]



-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', [[https://youtu.be/IMC0uZY2iH0?t=241 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Dark Story + Final Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]

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-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', ''[[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub SnapCube]]'', [[https://youtu.be/IMC0uZY2iH0?t=241 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Dark Story + Final Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]
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[[folder:Comic Books]]
->'''Kowalski:''' You know, I still can't believe the Germans would do something as evil as shoot down a plane filled with Camel Cigarettes.
-->-- ''ComicBook/TheUltimates''
[[/folder]]
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->"Seems like the only thing you're really good at is dreaming up new ways to commit petty villainy."
-->-- '''Professor Venomous''' to '''Lord Boxman''', ''WesternAnimation/OKKOLetsBeHeroes'', "Boxman Crashes"
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->''"So, I get to get my hands on a big sparkly diamond, destroy the city of Corinth'' and ''ruin Ranger Yellow's wedding all at once? Oh I'm so totally there."''
-->-- '''Tenaya 7''', ''Series/PowerRangersRPM''
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->'''Eggman:''' *EvilLaugh* Hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you! I'm keeping your stocks. That's right you ugly little girl! I hate you! And you stupid nose! I'm taking everything from you! Give me your phone!
-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', [[https://youtu.be/po1qdT7mj-s?t=413 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]

->'''Eggman:''' You can stand by me, Doctor Eggman, even though my ''body'' used to be a ''regular shape''!\\
'''Shadow:''' Yeah, well no. [[YouAreFat You're fat]]. *Smirks* Lol. [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain Get rekt you fat scrub man]]. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.\\
'''Eggman:''' ''What''! You are not ''allowed'' to fuck my wife!\\
[Shadow walks away without saying a word]\\
'''Eggman:''' Shadow! Come back here right now! Shadow! What the fuck!?
-->-- ''[=SnapCube=]'', [[https://youtu.be/IMC0uZY2iH0?t=241 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Dark Story + Final Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]
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->''"When the clock runs out, Ethan Hunt will lose everything and everyone he ever cared about."''
-->-- '''Solomon Lane''', ''Film/MissionImpossibleFallout''
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-->-- '''GLaDOS''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''

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-->-- '''GLaDOS''', '''[=GLaDOS=]''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''
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->'''Barry Allen''': Wh-Why did [Reverse-Flash] kill Nora Allen?
->'''Gideon''': Because he was angry.
->'''Barry Allen''': About what!?
->'''Gideon''': That you escaped.
-->-- ''Series/TheFlash2014''
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-> Prepare to witness a truly petty act brought upon by my own mindless jealousy Hahahaha!
-->-- '''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''
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->"''Get up here, grab a gift, the Devil's a little busy here. I got to go rig an election with Quebec. A local election, but you know, ''I'm the Devil''!. [[InvokedTrope I've got to sweat the small stuff]].''"
-->--'''The Bombinomicon''', ''Videogame/TeamFortress2''
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->We've loaned your father a lot of money. It may have been a hundred thousand dollars or more... Well, I guess it really could have been less.
-->-- '''Aloysius Minch''', ''VideoGame/EarthBound''
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-->-- '''Caligula''', ''IClaudius''

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-->-- '''Caligula''', ''IClaudius''
''Series/IClaudius''
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-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2015/04/guided-by-beauty-of-their-weapons.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on [[UsefulNotes/HugoAward HugoGate]]

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-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2015/04/guided-by-beauty-of-their-weapons.html Phil El Sandifer]]''' on [[UsefulNotes/HugoAward HugoGate]]
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-->-- '''GLaDOS''', ''VideoGame/Portal''

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-->-- '''GLaDOS''', ''VideoGame/Portal''''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''

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