History Quotes / DeepSouth

->For the rest of the year, I can’t say shit like, 'Why won’t my God BeaArthur answer my prayers?' Because my God has answered two of my prayers. New York Seltzer is making a comeback and video of [[Music/BritneySpears Our Lady of Cheetos]]’ sister bringing a knife to a Pita Pit fight has graced the Internet. On [[AnAssKickingChristmas New Year’s Eve Day]], a belated Christmas gift was given to us when TMZ reported that Jamie Lynn Spears broke up a brawl at a Pita Pit in Hammond, Louisiana by waving a long ass bread knife at everyone. The police were told that the brawl broke out after some trick busted a bottle on the head of Jamie Lynn’s friend...My favorite part is at the very beginning when the Pita Pit dude notices that a hose beast brawl just broke out, [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight kind of shrugs to himself and calmly walks over to the phone to call the police. There must be a lot of fighting going on at the Pita Pit.

->''"Down in Carolina Way\\

Says, 'Honkies if you love the Lord'"''

->''"I got a shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive,\\
And a country boy can survive"''

->''"I wanna start relaxin'\\

I ain't seen one good lynchin' in years"''

->'''Hart''': Can you see Texas up there on your high horse? What do you know about these people?
->'''Cohle''': Just observation and deduction. I see a propensity for obesity. Poverty. A yen for fairy tales. Folks puttin' what few bucks they do have into a little wicker basket being passed around. I think it's safe to say nobody here's gonna be splitting the atom, Marty.
-->--'''''Series/TrueDetective'''''

->''"You know, they're poor only in money... and spirit, and dignity, and moral fiber, and hygiene..."''

->''"Isn't that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy, but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?"''

->'''Rose:''' They're just so - alien. The aliens...[[ShapedLikeItself are so alien.]] You look at 'em, and they're alien.
->'''Ninth Doctor:''' Good thing I didn't take you to the Deep South.

->'''Todd:''' Aren't you boiling hot in that outfit? It's like 80 degrees in this hallway. Where are you from, the South?
->'''Nicky:'''...[[FireAndBrimstoneHell Yes. The DEEP South!]] ''(chuckles to himself)''
->'''Todd:''' Why is that funny?

->''"I did five days of solitary once, when I was a kid. In Texas. Of course, in Texas you might as well be in as out."''

->''"Anything that comes out of the South is going to be called grotesque by the northern reader, unless it is grotesque, in which case it is going to be called realistic."''

->''"Southern hospitality is world-famous. Sprawling plantations features stately old homes where visitors are welcomed by stately old Colonels. As soon as you enter one of these mansions and hear the strains of "Dixie" being piped through the Muzak speaker in the front hall, you will fall under the spell of Southern Aristocracy. After a sumptuous dinner of grits and possum, you may even be asked to join the men in the library as they smoke cigars and plot The Second Confederacy. You may even hear the famous slogan, 'If at first you don't secede, try, try again!'''

->''"Can we just ask France for a refund of the Louisiana purchase?"''

->''"I was touring the deep south; to be honest, I find those people to be anything but deep..."''

->''"Where the mistakes of the past come alive."''

->''"Downtown Atlanta has an aquarium, a hotel, a [=McCormick=] & Schmick's, and 70,000 TGI Friday's. I don't even know if the buildings are real. The whole downtown may just be a set. I couldn't even find a donut joint. It was like Ebola had swept through the town years ago, instead of just this week. No wonder they did the ''[[Series/TheWalkingDead Walking Dead]]'' premiere in that city. You don't have to change anything... I was standing in line for a coffee there (call me Petey King Jr.) and the machine broke and when the machine broke, the people behind the counter did nothing. They just stood there and fucking stared off into space. And if you get pissy with Atlanta people about how slow they are, they just accuse YOU of being the asshole. ''Why are you so uptight about standing there and having all your time wasted, mannnnnnnn?'' All Southerners believe that they somehow savor life more than their Yankee brethren because they are so painfully slow, but this is a lie. You people need to get your fucking shit together. You aren't seizing the day because it took you three hours to make a sandwich."''

->''"Ketchup-dipped deep-fried mother of the year [[Series/HereComesHoneyBooBoo Mama June]] has been on the receiving end of some unwanted Facebook attention. You know, aside from the never-ending ''FarmVille'' requests and direct messages from prisoners that begin with ''[='=]Hey, so I’m up for parole at the end of the month...[='=]''"''
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/12/04/someone-was-sending-mama-june-death-threats/ DListed]]'''''

->''"I wanna start relaxin\\

When we're having fun, why no one interferes\\

And [[UsefulNotes/KuKluxKlan put my white sheet on again]]\\

-->-- '''Dennis Miller'''

->''"Downtown Atlanta has an aquarium, a hotel, a [=McCormick=] & Schmick's, and 70,000 TGI Friday's. I don't even know if the buildings are real. The whole downtown may just be a set. I couldn't even find a donut joint. It was like Ebola had swept through the town years ago, instead of just this week. No wonder they did the ''[[Series/TheWalkingDead Walking Dead]]'' premiere in that city. You don't have to change anything... I was standing in line for a coffee there (call me Petey King Jr.) and the machine broke and when the machine broke, the people behind the counter did nothing. They just stood there and fucking stared off into space. And if you get pissy with Atlanta people about how slow they are, they just accuse YOU of being the asshole. ''Why are you so uptight about standing there and having all your time wasted, mannnnnnnn?'' All Southerners believe that they somehow savor life more than their Yankee brethren because they are so painfully slow, but this is a lie. You people need to get your fucking shit together. You aren't seizing the day because it took you three hours to make a sandwich. The rest of us have lives to lead. No wonder your town has only one good plow."''

->''"Downtown Atlanta has an aquarium, a hotel, a [=McCormick=] & Schmick's, and 70,000 TGI Friday's. I don't even know if the buildings are real. The whole downtown may just be a set. I couldn't even find a donut joint. It was like Ebola had swept through the town years ago, instead of just this week. No wonder they did the ''[[Series/TheWalkingDead Walking Dead]]'' premiere in that city. You don't have to change anything... I was standing in line for a coffee there (call me Petey King Jr.) and the machine broke and when the machine broke, the people behind the counter did nothing. They just stood there and fucking stared off into space. And if you get pissy with Atlanta people about how slow they are, they just accuse YOU of being the asshole. ''Why are you so uptight about standing there and having all your time wasted, mannnnnnnn?'' All Southerners believe that they somehow savor life more than their Yankee brethren because they are so painfully slow, but this is a lie. You people need to get your fucking shit together. You aren't seizing the day because it took you three hours to make a sandwich. The rest of us have lives to lead. No wonder your town has only one good plow."''
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-atlanta-falcons-1618139918 Drew McGary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Atlanta Falcons"

->'''Det. Martin Hart''': Can you see Texas up there on your high horse? What do you know about these people?\\
'''Det. Rustin Cohle''': Just observation and deduction. I see a propensity for obesity. Poverty. A yen for fairy tales. Folks puttin' what few bucks they do have into a little wicker basket being passed around. I think it's safe to say nobody here's gonna be splitting the atom, Marty.

->''"I was touring the deep south; to be honest, I find those people to be anything but deep..."''
-->-- '''Dennis Miller'''

->''"Where the mistakes of the past come alive."''
-->-- ''[[TheOnion The Onion: Our Dumb World]]''

->''Southern hospitality is world-famous. Sprawling plantations features stately old homes where visitors are welcomed by stately old Colonels. As soon as you enter one of these mansions and hear the strains of "Dixie" being piped through the Muzak speaker in the front hall, you will fall under the spell of Southern Aristocracy. After a sumptuous dinner of grits and possum, you may even be asked to join the men in the library as they smoke cigars and plot The Second Confederacy. You may even hear the famous slogan, "If at first you don't secede, try, try again!"''
-->-- ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'', "The European Tourist's Guide to the United States"

->''"Anything that comes out of the South is going to be called grotesque by the northern reader, unless it is grotesque, in which case it is going to be called realistic."''
-->-- '''Creator/FlanneryOConnor'''

->''"Downtown Atlanta has an aquarium, a hotel, a McCormick & Schmick's, and 70,000 TGI Friday's. I don't even know if the buildings are real. The whole downtown may just be a set. I couldn't even find a donut joint. It was like Ebola had swept through the town years ago, instead of just this week. No wonder they did the ''[[Series/TheWalkingDead Walking Dead]]'' premiere in that city. You don't have to change anything... I was standing in line for a coffee there (call me Petey King Jr.) and the machine broke and when the machine broke, the people behind the counter did nothing. They just stood there and fucking stared off into space. And if you get pissy with Atlanta people about how slow they are, they just accuse YOU of being the asshole. ''Why are you so uptight about standing there and having all your time wasted, mannnnnnnn?'' All Southerners believe that they somehow savor life more than their Yankee brethren because they are so painfully slow, but this is a lie. You people need to get your fucking shit together. You aren't seizing the day because it took you three hours to make a sandwich. The rest of us have lives to lead. No wonder your town has only one good plow."''

->''"As I point out every year, this is precisely what Dallas fans deserve. You will not find a fanbase that has engendered less sympathy for its current plight. Have you ever been to Dallas? SPOILER: It's America's worst city. Everything people decry about [[{{Eagleland}} traffic, sprawl, McMansions, and general American vapidity]] is embodied by Dallas. These are the people who are [[SmallNameBigEgo way too excited]] to have access to the United Club. It's a tacky town filled with tacky people and they have earned the tackiest team in the history of organized football."''
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-dallas-cowboys-1630689925 Drew McGary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Dallas Cowboys"

->''"As I point out every year, this is precisely what Dallas fans deserve. You will not find a fanbase that has engendered less sympathy for its current plight. Have you ever been to Dallas? SPOILER: It's America's worst city. Everything people decry about [[{{Eagleland}} traffic, sprawl, McMansions, and general American vapidity]] is embodied by Dallas. These are the people who are way too excited to [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections have access to the United Club]]. It's a tacky town filled with tacky people and they have earned the tackiest team in the history of organized football. Fuck Dallas. Fuck the Cowboys. And since this is the end of the series this year, fuck everyone."''

-->--'''Music/TomLerher''', "I Wanna Go back to Dixie"

->''We'll try to stay serene and calm\\
When Alabama gets The Bomb''
-->--TomLehrer, ''Who's Next''.

->'''Todd:''' Aren't you boiling hot in that outfit? It's like 80 degrees in this hallway. Where are you from, the South.

-->-- '''FlanneryOConnor'''

-->-- ''MADMagazine'', "The European Tourist's Guide to the United States"

-->-- '''[[FlanneryOConnor Flannery O'Connor]]'''

->'''Mike''': You know, they're poor only in money... and spirit, and dignity, and moral fiber, and hygiene...
-->-- ''MST3K''

->''I was touring the deep south; to be honest, I find those people to be anything but deep...''
->-- Dennis Miller

->''Where the mistakes of the past come alive.''
->-- ''The Onion: Our Dumb World''

->'''Mike''': ''You know, they're poor only in money...and spirit, and dignity, and moral fiber, and hygiene...''
->-- MST3K

->''Isn't that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy, but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?''
->-- Peter Griffin, ''FamilyGuy''

-->-- [[FlanneryOConnor Flannery O'Connor]]

-----

-->-- Flannery O'Connor