History Quotes / Asspull

Ansem sees all this and he's like "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously, like I checked the Wiki and they use the word "somehow"]], uh, whatever. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm outtie, peace.]]"''

Ansem sees this and he's like "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously, like I checked the Wiki and they use the word "somehow"]], uh, whatever. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm outtie, peace.]]"''

[[AC:Film--Animation]]

->'''Kuzco:''' No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?!\\
'''Yzma:''' Uh... How ''did'' we, Kronk?''\\
'''Kronk:''' Well, ya got me. By all accounts it doesn't make sense.
-->-- ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

'''Han:''' People are counting on us. The galaxy is counting on us.\\

'''Han:''' ''That's not how the Force works''!

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? '''[[FandomBerserkButton HE CAN'T DO THAT!]]'''\\

-->--'''Creator/BenCroshaw''', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/6400-Silent-Hill-2.2 "Thou Shalt Set Up Plot Twists Appropriately"]]

[[AC:Film--Live-Action]]

[[AC:Live-action TV]]

->'''George''': What about my ankle monitor?\\
'''Fake Kidnapper''': We have an ''ankle monitor deactivator!''\\
'''George''': Oh, good. See, I've been meaning to get one of those.

->'''Han Solo''': What was your job when you were based here?\\
'''Finn''': Sanitation\\
'''Han''': Sanitation? Then how do you know how to disable the shields?\\
'''Finn''': I don't. I'm just here to get Rey.\\
'''Han''': People are counting on us. The galaxy is counting on us.\\
'''Finn''': Solo, we'll figure it out. We'll use the Force!\\
'''Han''': ''That's not how the Force works''!

->'''Kuzco''': No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?\\
'''Yzma''': Uh... How did we, Kronk?''\\
'''Kronk''': Well, ya got me. By all accounts it doesn't make sense.

->'''David''': I guess this mirrors the thing with ComicBook/JimmyOlsen -- are you aware of this? That Jimmy used to be on the show, and they killed him off?\\
'''Chris''': I’d heard that.\\
'''David''': And then they cut to [[StatusQuoIsGod his little cousin Jimmy Olsen]] a few states away?\\
'''Chris''': Okay, ''that'' part I was not aware of.\\
'''David''': Yeah. ''That Happened.''

'''Broly''': AND IT WILL BE BROLY'S FIST!

->''"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"''
-->-- '''Deidara''' in this ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'' [[http://sractheninja.deviantart.com/gallery/171163?offset=24#/d11o4sm fan comic strip]], about the infamous "Great Snake Escape".

-->--[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]] and PatTheNESPunk watch ''Film/HighlanderEndgame''

->'''Kuzko''': No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?\\

'''Han''': That's not how the Force works!

-->-- ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

-->-- ''Series/{{Arrested Development}}''

-->--[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]] and PatTheNESPunk watch ''{{Franchise/Highlander}}: Endgame''

->"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"

->"Here the story should really end, for, in real life, the forlorn old man would have little to look forward to but death. The author took pity on him and has provided a quite improbable epilogue."

->'Support character was evil all along' does NOT constitute 'character development.' What that is is 'arse pull.'

->It’s just a series of disjointed plot points. It feels like somebody describing an idea to you. Eli and Psycho Mantis hijack Metal Gear from the base and fly off with it? Okay, I suppose that happens. I mean, I saw it happening on the screen. But I couldn’t care less, and I didn’t feel a damn thing when it happened. And by the looks of it, [[CutsceneIncompetence neither does Big Boss or anyone else!]] They just stands there with their thumbs up their asses, even though they command the greatest private army in the world.

->It's like [[WireFu wire work]] for plot. [[SpecialEffectsFailure Bad wire work.]]

->It's not so much timey-whimey as it is bullshit-woolshit.

->When asked to account for himself Ianto goes on a tirade about clearing up their shit and nobody asking anything about his life -- what the hell? ''[[GoingPostal This]]'' is how you get some attention?

->'''Matt:''' “Mortal Kombat cannot be won by treachery.” They’re just [[MovingTheGoalposts making this s**t up!]]\\
'''Chris''': I almost [[RootingForTheEmpire feel bad for Shang Tsung]] at this point. You know they were like “Okay, if you win this tournament you can invade Earth” and then he did and they were like “oh sorry, we meant if you win it… ten times?”\\
'''Matt''': He’s a victim of bureaucracy, man.

->Janette comes back, and it turns out she's mortal? When she left, she fell in love with a human. They made love, and she started to feed on him--but she stopped, and his blood... [[ThePowerOfLove warmed her heart?]] I-I guess? Her heart grew three sizes that day. Like a sexy Grinch.

->Janette comes back, and it turns out she's mortal When she left, she fell in love with a human. They made love, and she started to feed on him--but she stopped, and his blood... [[ThePowerOfLove warmed her heart?]] I-I guess? Her heart grew three sizes that day. Like a sexy Grinch.

->It’s just a series of disjointed plot points. It feels like somebody describing an idea to you. Eli and Psycho Mantis hijack Metal Gear from the base and fly off with it? Okay, I suppose that happens. I mean, I saw it happening on the screen. But I couldn’t care less, and I didn’t feel a damn thing when it happened. And by the looks of it, [[CutsceneIncompetence neither does Big Boss or anyone else!]] They just stands there with their thumbs up their asses, even though they commands the greatest private army in the world.

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:fiction]]

->"Akiha...? What do you mean by Nee-san?"\\
"I mean Nee-san. Now that I think about it, I had a twin older sister...!"\\
"You had an older sister... that's a bit of a sudden statement."\\
Even though this is a parody, this is too much. [[LampshadeHanging It's no fun if you don't lay down any groundwork or foreshadowing]].\\
"I don't care about that...!"
-->-- ''[[VisualNovel/{{Tsukihime}} Kagetsu Tohya]]'', ("Imogirisou")

->"[[MemeticMutation Who said The Espada went from 1 to 10? They actually go from 0 to 9!]]"
-->-- '''Yammy''', ''Manga/{{Bleach}}''

->"A hawk summon, where did he get that?"
-->-- '''Tobi/Obito (pretending to be Madara)''', ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''

->"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"
-->-- '''Deidara''' in this ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'' [[http://sractheninja.deviantart.com/gallery/171163?offset=24#/d11o4sm fan comic strip]], about the infamous "Great Snake Escape".

->"Think of it this way: [[LiteralMinded At least you didn't have to reach in and pull it out.]] Poor Andrew."
-->-- '''[[http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?36825-Chat-95-Kanaya-AUSPISTIFIST-OF-THE-NORTH-STAR-2-Eridan-Memorial&p=4703840&viewfull=1#post4703840 Mudd]]''', ''Webcomic/MSPaintAdventures'' [[InsistentTerminology fora]]

->'''Fake Kidnapper''': Come on, get in the trunk!\\
'''George''': What about my ankle monitor?\\

->'''Yzma:''' Oh, my! Looking for this? *holds the human transformation potion*\\
'''Kuzco:''' No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?!\\
'''Yzma:''' Ah... How ''did'' we, Kronk?\\
'''Kronk:''' Well, ya got me. *pulls down a chart of the previous chase* By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
-->-- ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: reviews]]

->Janette comes back, and it turns out she's mortal! When she left, she fell in love with a human. They made love, and she started to feed on him--but she stopped, and his blood... [[ThePowerOfLove warmed her heart?]] I-I guess? Her heart grew three sizes that day. Like a sexy Grinch.
-->--'''Creator/AllisonPregler''' on ''Series/ForeverKnight'', "The Human Factor"

->"Out of David Cage's flaming asshole is where that came from"
-->-- Two best friends play beyond two souls

[[/folder]]

->'''David''': I guess this mirrors the thing with JimmyOlsen -- are you aware of this? That Jimmy used to be on the show, and they killed him off?\\

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? HE CAN'T DO THAT!\\

'''Pat:''' That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground??\\

'''Matt''': He’s a victim of bureaucracy, man... It’s like when a four-year-old tells you a joke. They get to a place where they remember something they were supposed to say earlier, then add it in too late.

->When asked to account for himself Ianto goes on a tirade about clearing up their shit and nobody asking anything about his life -- what the hell? ''[[GoingPostal This]]'' is how you get some attention? Despite trying to murder all of his friends Ianto still tries to reason with Lisa, holds a gun on his friends and [[LoveMakesYouEvil tries to save her!]] None of this makes any sense! Why is it that if Ianto thinks Jack is such a monster and worse than anything they have banged up in Torchwood that he [[EasilyForgiven ends up shagging him]] in three episodes time? Why do they let Ianto [[UltimateJobSecurity keep working with them]] after the girlfriend that he sneaked into their workplace besieged them all? Not one second rings true.