History Quotes / AmericanFootball

-->-- '''George F. Will''', political writer and UsefulNotes/{{baseball}} devotee

-> I don't know, friends, to this day, what it was that they was a-doin' down there, but I have studied about it, and I think that it's some kindly of a contest where they see which bunchful of them men can take that pumpkin and run from one end of that cow pasture to th' other without either gettin' knocked down or steppin' in somethin'.

-> UsefulNotes/{{Baseball}} is what we were, and football is what we have become.

->UsefulNotes/{{Baseball}} is what we were, and football is what we have become.
-->--'''Mary [=McGrory=]'''

->One reason I didn't like football was the boredom of putting on and taking off all that gear. Even so, at an early school, I made what I thought was an unusually brilliant touchdown against what proved to be, upon closer inspection, [[FailedASpotCheck my own team.]]
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
-->--'''Creator/AlfredHitchcock'''

->This is a sport that has featured rampant drug use, gambling, player hazing, sex scandals, domestic violence issues, wayward accounting, and taxpayer abuse. And that's just the Cowboys.
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/5891034/gregg-easterbrook-has-dubbed-the-bounty-scandal-sinnersgate-because-hes-a-haughty-dipshit Drew Magary]]''', ''Gregg Easterbrook is a Haughty Dipshit''

->I know plenty of normal, highly successful, otherwise level headed people that if Jeremy Maclin drops a pass or [=DeMeco Ryans=] misses a tackle, will fly into an apoplectic rage as if someone had just killed their mother while simultaneously strangling 7 puppies right in front of them. It is almost Pavlovian. The second there is a bad call, a missed block, a muffed kick, anything, it's like a switch flips and then the entire city turns into [[{{Film/Goodfellas}} Joe Pesci after Billy Bats tells him to get his shine box]]. It's not pretty.
-->--'''Drew Magary''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-philadelphia-eagles-1630612571 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles"]]

->In football, the object is for the Quarterback, otherwise known as the "Field General", to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense and hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy, in spite of the Blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing his aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.\\

-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

->Football combines the two worst features of American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
-->--'''George F. Will''', political writer and UsefulNotes/{{baseball}} devotee

->Behold it now, in all its grand and terrifying splendour: the sport of American football. It’s a brutish, nasty spectacle: prone to extinguishing lives and careers with equal indifference. It is also the source of seemingly never-ending, adrenalizing fear. I know this firsthand because I spent 10 years playing football and being afraid: afraid to get hurt, afraid to lose, afraid to get beaten by my man, afraid to look stupid in front of a crowd. Every sport features this particular gauntlet of angst, but football is designed, both as a sport and as a greater American subculture, to make those fears even more conspicuous, more glaring.
-->--'''Drew Magary''', "[[https://deadspin.com/football-is-fear-1828851532 Football is Fear]]"

-->--Drew Magary, [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-philadelphia-eagles-1630612571 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles"]]

->Football--spasms of violence separated by committee meetings--is the game for our time.

->In football, the object is for the Quarterback, otherwise known as the "Field General", to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense and hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy, in spite of the Blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing his aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.\\

-->--Political writer and baseball devotee '''George F. Will'''

-->--Drew Magary, "[[https://deadspin.com/football-is-fear-1828851532 Football is Fear]]"

-->--''Drew Magary'', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-philadelphia-eagles-1630612571 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles"]]

-->--''Deadspin'', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-philadelphia-eagles-1630612571 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles"]]

-->--Political writer and baseball devotee '''George F. Will'''

-->--Conservative political writer and baseball devotee '''George F. Will'''

->Football...is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
-->--Political writer and baseball devotee '''George F. Will'''

->''"One reason I didn't like football was the boredom of putting on and taking off all that gear. Even so, at an early school, I made what I thought was an unusually brilliant touchdown against what proved to be, upon closer inspection, [[FailedASpotCheck my own team.]]"''

->''"There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally."''

->''"This is a sport that has featured rampant drug use, gambling, player hazing, sex scandals, domestic violence issues, wayward accounting, and taxpayer abuse. And that's just the Cowboys."''

->''"I know plenty of normal, highly successful, otherwise level headed people that if Jeremy Maclin drops a pass or [=DeMeco Ryans=] misses a tackle, will fly into an apoplectic rage as if someone had just killed their mother while simultaneously strangling 7 puppies right in front of them. It is almost Pavlovian. The second there is a bad call, a missed block, a muffed kick, anything, it's like a switch flips and then the entire city turns into [[{{Film/Goodfellas}} Joe Pesci after Billy Bats tells him to get his shine box]]. It's not pretty. "''
-->--[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-philadelphia-eagles-1630612571 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles"]]

->''"In football, the object is for the Quarterback, otherwise known as the 'Field General', to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense and hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy, in spite of the Blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing his aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line."''

->''"Ground acquisition. And that's what football is, football's a ground acquisition game. You knock the crap out of eleven guys and take their land away from them. Of course, we only do it ten yards at a time. That's the way we did it with the Indians: we won it little by little. First down in Ohio--Midwest to go!"''

->''"Football...is violence punctuated by committee meetings."''

->''"I know plenty of normal, highly successful, otherwise level headed people that if Jeremy Maclin drops a pass or [=DeMeco Ryans=] misses a tackle, will fly into an apoplectic rage as if someone had just killed their mother while simultaneously strangling 7 puppies right in front of them. It is almost Pavlovian. The second there is a bad call, a missed block, a muffed kick, anything, it's like a switch flips and the the entire city turns into [[{{Film/Goodfellas}} Joe Pesci after Billy Bats tells him to get his shine box]]. It's not pretty. "''

->''"Last fall, I was in London on the day of the Niners-Jags game. I got to talking about 'American football' with some Germans who were going to the game, and at one point I mentioned that I was from Dallas and rooted for the Cowboys. Their response: 'Ach - you mean for ze Sad-boys.'\\\
I had no comeback. Even German tourists know that we suck."''
-->--[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-dallas-cowboys-1630689925 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Dallas Cowboys"]]

->''"In football, the object is for the Quarterback, otherwise known as the 'Field General', to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense and hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy, in spite of the Blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing his aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line."''

->''"Football is...violence punctuated by committee meetings."''

-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''