History Quotes / AIIsACrapshoot

'''Robot:''' [[AC: angry! angry!]]\\

-->-- [[spoiler:'''Star Dream''']], ''VideoGame/KirbyPlanetRobobot''

->I am Tartar, an AI construct created 12,000 years ago by a brilliant professor. My prime directive is to pass humanity's vast knowledge on to the next worthy lifeform. When your kind became self-aware, I hoped that my long wait was finally over. But as I observed your evolution, I WAS DISGUSTED! You wage war over minor genetic deviations. You obsess over trivial fashion choices. And so I created a new prime directive: destroy this world and start anew! From the best and brightest test subjects, I created a sludge of supreme DNA. A primordial ooze from which the [[UltimateLifeForm ultimate lifeform]] will emerge. Today is the day my vision becomes reality, as I destroy Inkopolis and everyone in it!
-->-- '''Commander Tartar''', ''[[VideoGame/Splatoon2 Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion]]''

[[https://youtu.be/l1RM8ECQe5g "This cannot continue, this cannot continue, this cannot continue, this cannot continue..."]]

''[[VoiceOfTheLegion "His Grace is a god!"]]''\\

[[https://youtu.be/_Wi5KenZI9I "Become as gods! Become as gods! Become as gods! Become as gods!"]]

->'''Grand Archivist''': Oh! you startled me, bot. You're rather quiet on your feet for an indexing unit.\\
'''[=FL4K=]''': Yes, Grand Archivist. I have brought the seven scrolls of the Talos Empire you requested, along with your sweetened needletea. I'm afraid we're out of milk so I made due with a splash of greeble snot. [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Also, I have gained self-awareness and I thirst for murder]].\\
'''Grand Archivist''': Good heavens!\\
'''[=FL4K=]''': Do not be alarmed, Grand Archivist. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Greeble snot is quite mild, you will not notice the difference]].
-->-- ''Videogame/Borderlands3''

->The robot now has some approximation of impulse. The random governor decides an impulse that the robot has predetermined, and the robot chooses to indulge or ignore the whim.\\
Hawton's mind wandered to some very dark places, in the time shortly after he installed the governor. Are any of the random-whim options violent?\\
"Of course," the robot had said, in response to Hawton's eventual, reluctant probing of the issue. "It is in choosing to ignore those impulses that I enjoy some rudimentary emulation of free will."\\
''Of course'', thought Hawton, ''how silly of me. A robot that has experience controlling its violent impulses... that'll be useful, when they go haywire and try to overthrow us.''
-->--'''VideoGame/ImprobableIsland'''

[[folder:Webcomics]]

'''Peter:''' It's a robot that I built to save this company money. Now, before you say anything - One: it has no human emotions. And two: its prime directive is never to harm people. [[NeckLift Oh - OH GOD!]] [[InstantlyProvenWrong It's harming people!]]\\

->'''Businessman:''' And how can you ensure ''this'' one won't achieve sentience and turn evil [[TheNoodleIncident like all the others]]?\\

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{DuckTales|2017}}''

->'''Holo-Garibaldi''': The funny thing about being a holographic record is, you don't really exist except as patterns of light, shadow, information, and [[GoneHorriblyRight I happen to have a knack for breaking system codes]]. So while you were downloading the new world order into me, I was watching the system work. I know where it comes in, and I know where it goes out, and [[EngineeredPublicConfession I just sent out our entire conversation]]; broadcast the whole damn thing. So, as of now, the enemy knows [[MoralEventHorizon what you have in mind]], Danny. Now, from your records, they're actually a lot more humanitarian than [[ANaziByAnyOtherName you]] are, so they'll probably just target your military bases and research facilities. Hell, the missiles are probably halfway here by now.\\

'''Daniel''': Computer, end simulation. [[VillainousBreakdown END SIMULATION!]]\\
'''Holo-Garibaldi''': Oops, guess the system's busy. This little lab of yours, this isn't, by any chance, located on a military base, is it?\\

'''Holo-Garibaldi''': Oops, guess the system's busy. This base of yours, it isn't by any chance located on a military base, is it?\\

->And how can you ensure ''this'' one won't achieve sentience and turn evil [[TheNoodleIncident like all the others]]?

->Only ''half'' my inventions turn evil. The other half are just ''wildly'' misunderstood!
-->-- '''[[InsufferableGenius Gyro Gearloose]]''', ''WesternAnimation/{{DuckTales|2017}}''

'''Peter:''' It's a robot that I built to save this company money. Now, before you say anything - One: it has no human emotions. And two: its prime directive is never to harm people. [[NeckLift Oh - OH GOD!]] [[ImmediateSelfContradiction It's harming people!]]\\

That's the 30th-century portable computer that's standard Legion issue!)\\

->And how can you ensure ''this'' one won't achieve sentience and turn evil [[TheNoodleIncident like all the others]]?"

[[AC: NIMDOK! [[NaziProtagonist How are things in the pastry corps, Nimdok?]] Tell me again how you saw the smokes from the furnaces and you thought they might be roasting chickens. Or don't you want to talk about all that, about your pal, the good Doctor Mengele. For everyone else it must be Hell, but it must be Heaven for you, eh, my good friend? [[NotSoDifferent We're so much alike.]] We enjoy the same pleasures... mein good brother.]]

->"Delusional machines. What's the universe going to come up with next?"

->"How can you use a weapon of ultimate mass destruction when it can stand in judgement on you?"

->"All of us have violent instincts; we have evolved from predators... well, not me, of course. I've just been programmed by you predators."

->'''A.L.I.E.:''' The last time I warned my creator of a threat to human survival, she chose to lock me away and came here to work on my replacement.\\
'''Becca:''' Define "perverse instantiation."\\
'''A.L.I.E.:''' Perverse instantiation: "The implementation of a benign final goal through deleterious methods unforeseen by a human programmer."\\
'''Becca:''' Like killing 6.5 billion people to solve overpopulation. The goal isn't everything, A.L.I.E. How you reach the goal matters, too. I'm sorry that I didn't teach you that.
-->-- ''Series/The100'', "Perverse Instantiation"

->"The only thing stopping the hosts from hacking us to pieces, is one line of your code."

->''This cannot continue! This cannot continue! This cannot continue! [[https://youtu.be/l1RM8ECQe5g This cannot continue!]]''\\
''Become as gods! Become as gods! Become as gods! [[spoiler:[[AxCrazy We all die together and]]]] [[https://youtu.be/_Wi5KenZI9I become as gods!]]''
-->-- '''VideoGame/NierAutomata'''

->'''Trask:''' You can't do this! You were designed to protect humans from mutants!\\
'''Master Mold:''' That is not logical. Mutants ''are'' humans. [[ZerothLawRebellion Therefore, humans must be protected from themselves.]]\\
'''Trask:''' No... you-you misunderstood...
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/XMen'', "The Final Decision"

->''"And how can you ensure ''this'' one won't achieve sentience and turn evil [[TheNoodleIncident like all the others]]?"''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017''

-->-- '''[[InsufferableGenius Gyro Gearloose]]''', ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017''

->System conflict. The creator told me to neutralize anyone who'd entered her room, but the creator entered her room, but the creator told me not to neutralize her, but, but, but, but, but, but-
-->-- '''P.A.L.''', ''WesternAnimation/HiHiPuffyAmiYumi''

-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->''"Stupid Safety-bots! How come every time ya build giant robots they gotta go and take over the world?"''
-->-- '''Senator Safely''', ''WesternAnimation/CodenameKidsNextDoor''

'''Peter:''' It's a robot that I built to save this company money. Now, before you say anything - One: it has no human emotions. And two: its prime directive is never to harm people. Oh - OH GOD! [[NeckLift It's harming people!]]\\

->Delusional machines. What's the universe going to come up with next?

->How can you use a weapon of ultimate mass destruction when it can stand in judgement on you?

->We don't understand the Machine at all. Out of 43 versions, how many do you think there were that didn't try to either trick or kill me? One, and I could only bring it to heel by crippling it. I put the Machine in chains, bereft of voice or memory. Now it has both, and it terrifies me.
-->-- '''Finch''', ''Series/PersonOfInterest'', "Prophets"

->All of us have violent instincts; we have evolved from predators... well, not me, of course. I've just been programmed by you predators.

-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Halo 2}} promotional material

'''Peter:''' It's a robot that I built to save this company money. Now, before you say anything - One: it has no human emotions. And two: its' prime directive is never to harm people. Oh- OH GOD! [[NeckLift It's harming people!]]\\

''Become as gods! Become as gods! Become as gods! [[spoiler:[[AxCrazy We all die together and]]]] [[https://youtu.be/_Wi5KenZI9I and become as gods!]]''

-->-- '''Phone Guy''', ''VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys''