History PreAssKickingOneLiner / Literature

*** In ''Literature/ThiefOfTime'': [[AC:While it is true we have to ride out, it doesn't say anywhere against]] ''[[AC:whom]].''

** Sam Vimes in ''Literature/Thud'': "Where's... my... cow? Is that my cow? It goes ''hruuugh'' IT! IS A HIPPOPOTAMUS! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THAT! IS! NOT! MY! COW!"]]

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'': "Where's... my... cow? Is that my cow? It goes ''hruuugh'' IT! IS A HIPPOPOTAMUS! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THAT! IS! NOT! MY! COW!"]]
** [[AC: And now there remains only one final question. Have you been naughty... or nice?]]
** [[AC:While it is true we have to ride out, it doesn't say anywhere against]] ''[[AC:whom]].''
** Subverted: '''"C'mon if you think you're hard enough!!!"'''
*** Some old man told me you live and learn. Well, I have lived, and now I've learned that the edge of a sword is infinitely long. I've also learned how to make damn good yoghurt, although this is not a skill I intend to employ today. Shall we go get' em, boys?

* In the final of ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'', [[ActionGirl Rachel]] faces the whole crew of the enemy ship by herself. While in her White Bear morph.

* SolomonKane, before his KnifeFight with the Fishhawk:

* ''Literature/TheLastBattle'': "This is my password. ''The light is dawning, the lie broken.'' Now guard thee, miscreant, for I am Tirian of Narnia."

-->'''Aldrick''': The only man to best me with a blade was Araris Valerian....and you aren't Araris.

** WHILE IT IS TRUE WE HAVE TO RIDE OUT, IT DOESN'T SAY ANYWHERE AGAINST ''WHOM''

* In the final of ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' [[ActionGirl Rachel]] faces the whole crew of the enemy ship by herself. While in her White Bear morph.

* ''Series/BabylonFive'' novel ''Out of the Darkness'': Garibaldi got one in when surprising the Big Bad.[[note]]''Midnight on the Firing Line'' established Looney Tunes or Daffy Duck as Garibaldi's 2nd favourite thing in the Universe[[/note]]

* ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows'':
** "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
** Also: "You shouldn't have done that."[[note]]Obviously not to be confused with ''WebVideo/BenDrowned.''[[/note]]

* [[Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant Come and have a go... If you think you're hard enough.]] From Tanith Low, before asskicking everyone ever.
* In ''[[Literature/HorusHeresy Vulkan Lives]]'', psychopathic demigod warrior prince Konrad Curze thinks he has his heroic brother Vulkan dead to rights. Turns out, it's the other way around:
-->'''Konrad''': I know, Vulkan. Your beacon won't work. This chamber is teleport-shielded. Nothing goes in or out except through that gate behind you. Did you think you had broken me, brother? Did you believe you had tricked me into letting you escape? [[HopeSpot Hope is cruel, isn't it?]] Yours was false, Vulkan.
-->'''Vulkan''': You're right. I fashioned it as a teleporter, a means to escape even a prison such as this. [[BatmanGambit I counted on you leading me here, on you needing to face me one last time.]] It seems I was fooled into thinking you hadn't planned for this. But you're forgetting one thing...
-->'''Konrad''': What's that, brother?
-->'''Vulkan''': It's also ''[[DropTheHammer a hammer]]''.

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'': "Where's... my... cow? Is that my cow? It goes ''hruuugh'' IT! IS A HIPPOPOTAMUS! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THAT! IS! NOT! MY! COW!"]]
** [[AC: And now there remains only one final question. Have you been naughty... or nice?]]
** WHILE IT IS TRUE WE HAVE TO RIDE OUT, IT DOESN'T SAY ANYWHERE AGAINST ''WHOM''
** Subverted: '''"C'mon if you think you're hard enough!!!"'''
*** Some old man told me you live and learn. Well, I have lived, and now I've learned that the edge of a sword is infinitely long. I've also learned how to make damn good yoghurt, although this is not a skill I intend to employ today. Shall we go get' em, boys?
** Vimes to Sybil in ''Literature/{{Jingo}}'': "Just going out to kick some arse, dear." Of course, the fight ''doesn't'' start immediately afterwards.

* ''Literature/WatershipDown''. Bigwig's Determinator speech, "My Chief Rabbit has told me to defend this run, and until he says otherwise I shall stay here," scares the hraka out of the Efrafans, who mainly respect brute strength and have assumed up to this point that Bigwig ''was'' the Chief Rabbit of his warren. If he's not, there must be an even bigger badass Bunny around somewhere. Has emotional meaning as well, since Bigwig swore never to call Hazel the Chief Rabbit until the day he stops fighting.

* In ''Literature/{{Illium}}'', Zeus and the Greek pantheon stand ready to destroy the combined Greek and Trojan armies (long, spoilery story), and then all of humanity. He delivers the classic "Any last words" line in a godly fashion... to which Achilles responds "Surrender now, and we'll spare your goddess's lives so they can be our slaves and courtesans." Despite being a fairly stupid (but awesome) asshole in this story, that may be the ''best'' response to such a line, ever.
* [[TallDarkAndHandsome Rastignac's]] "It's between you and me now, Paris!" in ''Le Père Goriot''.

* ''Literature/TheElenium'''s confrontation between King Wargun and [[KnightInSourArmor Sparkhawk]], when the King is pulling rank and Sparhawk doesn't feel like cooperating.
-->'''King Wargun:''' I have a thousand picked men at my back!\\
'''Sparhawk:''' How many are you prepared to lose?
* The Literature/{{Sten}} series book ''Fleet of the Damned'' provides this: "We are now attacking a Tahn battlefleet. There are at least two battleships with the fleet. We are going to kill them." Ironically, Sten ''didn't'' consider this an example, and in fact felt it would be a waste of time to give an "England Expects." He was commanding an obsolete heavy cruiser, and [[spoiler:they ''did'' destroy one state-of-the-art battleship, and cripple the other beyond repair]].
* ''Literature/MemoriesOfIce'', book three of Creator/StevenErikson's ''Literature/MalazanBookOfTheFallen'': After Quick Ben unleashes half of his Warrens ([[FunctionalMagic sources of magical power]]) to blast Korbal Broach through a wall, Bauchelain, partner of the aforementioned Korbal Broach, notes that Quick Ben's power is most impressive, but that, in retrospect, he ought to have saved at least half his warrens. Quick Ben just replies: "But Bauchelain, I did." He then blows Bauchelain through the wall, too.
* In the ''Literature/CodexAlera'' series by Creator/JimButcher, Aldrick ex Gladius, one of the recurring antagonists, is widely renowned as the second best swordsman in the known lands, only being passed up by one other. He often uses this fact to unnerve his opponents, and his skill ensures that it's hammered in quickly enough.
-->'''Aldrick''': The only man to best me with a blade was Araris Valerian....and you aren't Araris.
** Subverted, however, in the first book. The person he's attacking ''isn't'' Araris...[[spoiler:but he's very close by]]. Aldrick's brief VillainousBreakdown when [[spoiler:Araris intervenes]] is a sight to behold.
** Also in the fourth book, in response to an antagonist complaining about being made to chase all over the place for "two pathetic sneaks." the third protagonist present [[spoiler: Gaius Sextus]] who was hidden out of sight of the antagonist says "Three." Cue CurbstompBattle.
* From ''Literature/TrueGrit'' by Charles Portis (and both film versions), we have this exchange before the final showdown:
-->'''Rooster:''' I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned, or see you hanged at Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
-->'''Ned:''' I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
-->'''Rooster:''' ''Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!''
* SolomonKane, before his KnifeFight with the Fishhawk:
-->"There be many fires, scum, some hotter than others - but save the fires of Hell - all fires - may be - quenched - by - ''blood!''"
* In Bryan Young's ''Lost At The Con'', the alcoholic gonzo journalist protagonist is trying to defend a young female cosplayer from handsy frat boys, and getting his ass kicked, when suddenly...
-->'''Cybernetic!Abraham Lincoln''': A house divided against itself cannot stand. [''starts punching frat boys in the face'']
* ''Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians'' series:
** Jason Grace in ''The Lost Hero'' has one badass and laconic enough to be worthy of a Roman Praetor; "My turn."
** "You. Me. To the finish."
** "Welcome to Canada, idiot."
* Grettir in ''Literature/TheSagaOfGrettirTheStrong'':
-->''"Defend yourself if you want; you will never have better occasion for it than now."''
* ''Literature/GalaxyOfFear: The Brain Spiders'', Zak is aware that the B'Omarr monks are interested in enlightenment and the idea of transcending material concerns, so when he threatens one...
--> "Don't move or I'll enlighten you in a whole new way."
** It works.
* Quite a few in other Star Wars novels.
** ''Literature/ShadowsOfTheEmpire:''
--->'''Darth Vader''': I will risk the Emperor's displeasure. However, you will not be there to see it, this time.
** Literature/NewJediOrder:
--->'''Ganner''': None shall pass.
** When Raynar confronts a squad of Mandolorian commandos storming the Jedi Temple....
--->'''Raynar''': I am Jedi Thul. I have not fought for real in many years. I should be a pushover. Come get me.

* In the final of ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' [[ActionGirl Rachel]] faces the whole crew of the enemy ship by herself. While in her White Bear morph.
--> '''Rachel:''' "Scared? You should be."
* ''Series/BabylonFive'' novel ''Out of the Darkness'': Garibaldi got one in when surprising the Big Bad.[[note]]''Midnight on the Firing Line'' established Looney Tunes or Daffy Duck as Garibaldi's 2nd favourite thing in the Universe[[/note]]
--> [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny What's up, Drakh?]]
* In ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil'', Ranger used to infiltrate the Dead King's stronghold specifically to fight his strongest guards.
-->"I am the Ranger. I hunt those worth hunting. Rejoice, you qualify."

* In perhaps the most out of place usage of the phrase ever, Claire [=DeWitt=] confronts a man involved in a murder she'd been trying to solve for 115 days, the murder of an ex-boyfriend and perhaps someone she even loved (were she capable). She figures out he didn't do it, gets him to turn in the real murder and then says, "Rob Scorpio. Today is the first day of the rest of your life." ''Then'' she pistol-whips and beats him until she's pulled off, breaking one of the guy's ribs in the process.

** Vimes to Sybil in ''Discworld/{{Jingo}}'': "Just going out to kick some arse, dear." Of course, the fight ''doesn't'' start immediately afterwards.

--> '''Darth Vader''': I will risk the Emperor's displeasure. However, you will not be there to see it, this time.

--> '''Ganner''': None shall pass.

--> '''Rachel:'''"Scared? You should be."

** Later, in ''Changes'', when vampires are attacking his building and the people inside it, Harry comments internally on [[ShoutOut wizards being subtle and quick to anger.]]

** In ''Turn Coat'' we have [[MagicalNativeAmerican Listens-To-Wind]] versus Shagnasty the [[EldritchAbomination Skinwalker]].

** In ''Skin Game,'' [[spoiler: Butters]] has made what seems to be a futile HeroicSacrifice, all hope seems lost, and [[BigBad Nicodemus]] sneers, "Nice try." Harry throws him the [[spoiler: shard of ''Fidelacchius,'']] which reforges itself into a lightsaber. The newly-minted Knight of the Cross lifts it and snarls,

--> '''Harry Dresden''': Fuego! ''Pyrofuego!'' '''Burn, you bat-faced greasy ''fucks''! ''BURN!''''

--> [[UnstoppableRage ''Fuego''. ''Pyrofuego''.]] '''[[KillItWithFire BURN.]]'''
** Later, in Changes, when vampires are attacking his building and the people inside it, Harry comments internally on [[ShoutOut wizards being subtle and quick to anger.]]

** Subverted, but at the same time a CrowningMomentOfAwesome: '''"C'mon if you think you're hard enough!!!"'''

* Steven Erikson's ''Literature/MalazanBookOfTheFallen''--''Literature/MemoriesOfIce''
-->After Quick Ben unleashes half of his warrens (sources of magical power) to blast Korbal Broach through a wall, Bauchelain, partner of the aforementioned Korbal Broach, notes that Quick Ben's power is most impressive, but that, in retrospect, he ought to have saved at least half his warrens.
-->"But Bauchelain," replies Quick Ben, "I did."
-->He then blows Bauchelain through the wall too.

** In ''Turn Coat'' we have [[MagicalNativeAmerican Listens-]][[MartialPacifist To-]][[BadassGrandpa Wind]] versus Shagnasty the [[EldritchAbomination Skinwalker]].

* In the ''Literature/CodexAlera'' series by JimButcher, Aldrick ex Gladius, one of the recurring antagonists, is widely renowned as the second best swordsman in the known lands, only being passed up by one other. He often uses this fact to unnerve his opponents, and his skill ensures that it's hammered in quickly enough.

** ''ShadowsOfTheEmpire:''

* In ''[[Literature/TheHeroesOfOlympus Son of Neptune]]'', the heroes are fighting the giant Alcyoneus, who is invincible as long as he remains in Alaska. After dragging him away from his base, Frank delivers the following line:
--> "Welcome to Canada, idiot."

** Later, in Changes, when vampires are attacking his building and the people inside it, Harry comments internally on wizards being subtle and quick to anger.

* From ''TrueGrit'' by Charles Portis (and both film versions), we have this exchange before the final showdown:

** ShadowsOfTheEmpire:

* Series/BabylonFive novel ''Out of the Darkness'': Garibaldi got one in when surprising the Big Bad.[[note]]''Midnight on the Firing Line'' established Looney Tunes or Daffy Duck as Garibaldi's 2nd favourite thing in the Universe[[/note]]

* Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil: