History Narm / JackChick

* Surprisingly, "[[http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5014/5014_01.asp Payback]]" manages to do this to Jezebel's FamilyUnfriendlyDeath, particularly when you see a dog burping after finishing eating her corpse, and the preacher/narrator's [[CaptainObvious description]] of it.

** He seems to have gotten part of his information about evolution from {{Devo}}.

* In ''[[http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0041/0041_01.asp Flight 144]]'', Chick introduces a typically jolly, respectable-looking Christian evangelist missionary couple who have been running a charity in Africa their whole careers AND dutifully proselytizing the entire time. They get on a plane, which crashes, and then they get sent to hell [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin for not believing in Jesus hard enough]].
** Actually that was for not [[strike: shoving their beliefs down people's throats]] converting enough people. Yeah, if Creator/JackChick is right, [[JerkassGods God is a jerk]].

** From what I understand, the missionaries thought that they would get rewarded for all that nice stuff they did. Salvation by works, in other words. Christians, according to Chick, are supposed to view themselves as utterly worthless and deserving of Hell in order to receive grace.

*** More likely the girl (a ''girl'' yet, Chick is waaaay out of the loop) must have had issues long beforehand; the kind who'd declare bankruptcy after losing at ''Monopoly''.
**** Every player in the comic (and the DM) is a girl. Where the Hell is this group, and how do I join? While there are some girls who play D&D, it seems highly unlikely that there's a whole group of girls playing the game, much less so hard-core that they would kill themselves over having a character die

* In [[http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5003/5003_01.asp Sin City]], a gay reverend is preaching to a man in the hospital about how God loves everyone, including homosexuals. A man in the Hell overhears this and bursts through the door to stop him. This laughable attempt at a BigDamnHeroes moment would be narmy enough on its own, but then he screams the words, "I'm going to pray '''''right''''' now!" Oh snap!

* "You forgot about Jude, verse 7! I'm going to pray ''right'' now!" Oh snap!

* Bobby in ''The Last Generation'' is over-the-top in everything he does, from his [[PuttingOnTheReich Hitler Youth-style uniform]] to his suggesting that cats and dogs are good sacrifices.

** In one panel, Lew Siffer presents a chart explaining how he masterminded the evolution of rock music which classifies ElvisPresley and Music/TheBeatles as HardRock. Now consider [[SillyLoveSongs the kinds of songs most people associate them with]]. If "Suspicious Minds" and "All You Need Is Love" are HardRock, then what would ''[[MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness soft]]'' rock be?
*** If Music/TheBeatles are "hard rock", what's "heavy death metal"? It's probably [[VideoGame/EarthBound Giygas]] with [[Creator/HPLovecraft Cthulhu]], [[Disney/{{Fantasia}} Chernabog]] and [[GreekMythology Hades]] or something.
*** Giygas on vocal's, Cthulhu on the keyboard, Chernabog playing bass and Hades on the drums... [[NightmareFetishist Awesome!!!]]
**** [[AndZoidberg And]] [[TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]] on tambourine.
*** "Play ''[[{{Anastasia}} "In The Dark Of The Night"]]''!"
*** They're called Music/AnalCunt.
*** The panel where the devil is revealed with a [[UnsoundEffect ZAP.]]
*** The band in ''Why No Revival?'' has two songs titled "Rock of Ages" and "Rock for the Rock". Now, there is a good rock/metal song called "Rock of Ages" out there, but "Rock for the Rock" smacks of SpinalTap.

* Chick's [[GeneralRipper rants against the Catholic Church]] are at once funny and sad. To hear him tell it, an AncientConspiracy issuing from the Vatican has been responsible for the following: both [[WorldWarI World]] [[WorldWarII Wars]], the Holocaust (in which Catholics were killed), the assassinations of [[AbrahamLincoln Lincoln]] and [[JohnFKennedy Kennedy]] ([[CriticalResearchFailure the first Catholic president]]), the attempted assassination of '''[[ThePope Pope John Paul II]]''' (it was faked, don'chaknow!), the Ku Klux Klan (also anti-Catholic), UsefulNotes/{{Islam}} (Muslims consider the Bible to be mostly accurate, but incomplete), Communism (which is anti-religion), UsefulNotes/{{Mormonism}} (a.k.a. the Latter Day Saints, which blames Catholics for the corruption of Literature/TheBible), Jehovah's Witnesses, and more. When his claims proved so virulent and erroneous that Protestant bookstores stopped stocking his comics, he blamed the Catholics for ''that''!

This section is devoted to the cottage industry that is ''ComicBook/ChickTracts'' {{Narm}}. '''[[UnEvilLaugh HAW HAW HAW.]]'''

This section is devoted to the cottage industry that is ''ComicBook/ChickTracts'' {{Narm}}. [[UnEvilLaugh HAW HAW HAW.]]

* The face (despite its realism) and the caption on the second panel of page 12 of the tract "[[http://chick.com/reading/tracts/0272/0272_01.asp Killer Storm]]":

* The face (despite it's realism) and the caption on the second panel of page 12 of the tract "[[http://chick.com/reading/tracts/0272/0272_01.asp Killer Storm]]":
-->''Gasp! Noah was right after all!''

* "You're going to meat the '''''death''''' angel."

** "Grrr, kill him,"

** Forbidden Fruit not being apples, but some sort of speckled ... pickle?

** "I HATE you...''and'' [[http://enterthejabberwock.com/2007/11/chick-dissection-the-execution/ your cookies!]]"

*** "Play ''[[{{Anastasia}} "In The Dark Of The Night"]]''!

--> "[[LiesDamnedLiesAndStatistics 12%]] of the [[ChildrenAreInnocent little boys and girls growing up]] are going to be '''''[[BoldInflation lesbians]]''''' and '''''[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment homosexuals]]'''''[[labelnote:*]][[NoBisexuals Note the conspicuous absence of bisexuals from this list]][[/labelnote]]...[[ValuesDissonance And they are]] '''''[[FelonyMisdemeanor NOT]]''''' [[TheBully going to be called faggots, dykes, queers and sissies.]] '''[[HeteronormativeCrusader WE ARE GOING TO SAVE OUR CHILDREN.]]'''"

*** If Music/TheBeatles are "hard rock", what's "heavy death metal"? It's probably [[VideoGame/EarthBound Giygas]] with [[Creator/HPLovecraft Cthulhu]], [[{{Fantasia}} Chernabog]] and [[GreekMythology Hades]] or something.

**** [[AndZoidberg And]] [[TheSlenderManMythos the Slender Man]] on tambourine.

*** They're called AnalCunt.

* In ''[[http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0041/0041_01.asp Flight 144]], Chick introduces a typically jolly, respectable-looking Christian evangelist missionary couple who have been running a charity in Africa their whole careers AND dutifully proselytizing the entire time. They get on a plane, which crashes, and then they get sent to hell [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin for not believing in Jesus hard enough]].