History MuggingTheMonster / RealLife

16th Jul '17 11:49:32 AM nombretomado
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* Creator/LeeMarvin, a pretty tough guy himself (he was a decorated WW2 vet), once picked a fight with Creator/RogerMoore, accusing him of looking and being too wimpy to be a credible action star. Moore convincingly kicked his ass. Afterwards Marvin was heard to say:

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* Creator/LeeMarvin, a pretty tough guy himself (he was a decorated WW2 [=WW2=] vet), once picked a fight with Creator/RogerMoore, accusing him of looking and being too wimpy to be a credible action star. Moore convincingly kicked his ass. Afterwards Marvin was heard to say:
26th Jun '17 7:27:54 PM Luigifan
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* In 2008, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH8kxDPl6tc two men with machetes tried to rob a club in Australia.]] Inside were fifty members of [[BadassBiker a motorcycle club]], who promptly [[BarBrawl grabbed the bar stools, chased down the thieves and hogtied one of them]].

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* In 2008, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH8kxDPl6tc two men with machetes tried to rob a club in Australia.]] Inside were fifty members of [[BadassBiker a motorcycle club]], who promptly [[BarBrawl grabbed the bar stools, chased down the thieves thieves, and hogtied one of them]].



** The upshot is: trying to rob a group of kids who have been taught how to survive hyenas, crocs, legavaans, other crooks and police raids with improvised weaponary is ill-advised. Even if they're in uniforms.

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** The upshot is: trying to rob a group of kids who have been taught how to survive hyenas, crocs, legavaans, other crooks crooks, and police raids ''police raids'' with improvised weaponary weaponry is ill-advised. Even if they're in uniforms.



* The outlaw Jesse James came to grief when he and his gang tried to rob a bank in Northfield, Minnesota in 1876. Unfortunately for Jesse, he had forgotten that he was no longer in his usual hunting grounds of eastern Kansas and western Missouri... and the locals not only did not include any sympathizers of his, but had their life savings in the bank he was targeting and no sense of humor about losing those savings. [[OhCrap Oops...]] Save for James himself and his brother Frank, the entire gang was killed or arrested during either the robbery or the ensuing manhunt, effectively ending his crime spree. He himself was killed by a member of his own gang six years later to collect the bounty on his head.

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* The outlaw Jesse James UsefulNotes/JesseJames came to grief when he and his gang tried to rob a bank in Northfield, Minnesota in 1876. Unfortunately for Jesse, he had forgotten that he was no longer in his usual hunting grounds of eastern Kansas and western Missouri... and the locals not only did not include any sympathizers of his, but had their life savings in the bank he was targeting and no sense of humor about losing those savings. [[OhCrap Oops...]] Save for James himself and his brother Frank, the entire gang was killed or arrested during either the robbery or the ensuing manhunt, effectively ending his crime spree. He himself was killed by a member of his own gang six years later to collect the bounty on his head.



* Two teenage thieves broke into a van parked in a council estate in Manchester, [[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3544485/Thieves-targeting-vans-on-council-estate-are-confronted-by-four-SAS-men-on-a-stakeout.html only to find that inside there were four SAS men on a night-time counter-terrorism training exercise. ]]
* Some young men were routinely killing dogs in their neighborhood and killed one small Labrador. The owner came home, pursued them in his car with a gun, then held them at gun point until the Texas Rangers appeared and arrested them. The men threatened the man who had held them at gunpoint, saying he did not know who he was messing with. The man then had the Texas Rangers reveal to the men who had killed his dog that he was [[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30136615/ Marcus Luttrell]], an ex-Navy SEAL, who had won a firefight against roughly 80 Taliban fighters and was the only survivor of the battle, after dispatching every enemy fighter.

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* Two teenage thieves broke into a van parked in a council estate in Manchester, [[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3544485/Thieves-targeting-vans-on-council-estate-are-confronted-by-four-SAS-men-on-a-stakeout.html only to find that inside there were four SAS men on a night-time counter-terrorism training exercise. ]]
* Some young men were routinely killing dogs in their neighborhood and killed one small Labrador. The owner came home, pursued them in his car with a gun, then held them at gun point gunpoint until the Texas Rangers appeared and arrested them. The men threatened the man who had held them at gunpoint, saying he did not know who he was messing with. The man then had the Texas Rangers reveal to the men who had killed his dog that he was [[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30136615/ Marcus Luttrell]], an ex-Navy SEAL, who had won a firefight against roughly 80 Taliban fighters and was the only survivor of the battle, after dispatching every enemy fighter.



* In February 1997 near Warsaw, highway robbers stopped a car. The men in the car turned out to be the coaches of the Russian and Belarussian teams driving home from the world biathlon championship - as in "skiing and shooting". The car was followed by the team bus - as in "fifty Olympic-class marksmen and equipment". Seeing athletes leaving it with rifles, the robbers guessed it's a good time to exit stage right, and quickly.

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* In February 1997 near Warsaw, highway robbers stopped a car. The men in the car turned out to be the coaches of the Russian and Belarussian teams driving home from the world biathlon championship - -- as in "skiing and shooting". The car was followed by the team bus - -- as in "fifty Olympic-class marksmen and equipment". Seeing athletes leaving it with rifles, the robbers guessed it's a good time to exit stage right, and quickly.
23rd Jun '17 6:28:18 AM Ea4g
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Added DiffLines:

** Relatedly, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beRWRR03Xbs This video]] showing some poor boob who thought stealing from a professional MMA fighter was a good idea.
1st Jun '17 11:57:10 AM Jayam
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* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later, the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pickup truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr. Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 automatic rifle that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, [[BullyingADragon to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming]]. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first degree murder, but he was found innocent on grounds of self-defense.

to:

* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later, the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pickup truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr. Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 automatic rifle that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, [[BullyingADragon to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming]]. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first second degree murder, but he was found innocent on grounds of self-defense.
9th May '17 11:15:22 AM Triscon42
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* [[RuthlessModernPirates Modern Day Pirates]] have to rely on outdated equipment to find their targets; Often they won't know what kind of ship they're attacking until they're almost on top of it. Occasionally, they they make a big mistake.

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* [[RuthlessModernPirates Modern Day Pirates]] have to rely on outdated equipment to find their targets; Often they won't know what kind of ship they're attacking until they're almost on top of it. Occasionally, they they make get a big mistake.nasty surprise.
9th May '17 11:11:04 AM Triscon42
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** [[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/01/2010-04-01_us_navy_captures_5_somali_pirates_siezes_pirate_mother_ship_off_kenya_somali_coa.html Somali pirates]] in a small skiff fired on what they (presumably) assumed was an unarmed freighter. The US Navy guided missile frigate ''Nicholas'' promptly returned fire with its deck-mounted, water-cooled, .50 caliber machine gun. (The pirates were captured, their ship sunk, and their "mother ship" subsequently tracked down and also captured.)** Somali pirates attacked a French navy command ship[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631)]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading to the swift arrest of the pirates.

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** [[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/01/2010-04-01_us_navy_captures_5_somali_pirates_siezes_pirate_mother_ship_off_kenya_somali_coa.html Somali pirates]] in a small skiff fired on what they (presumably) assumed was an unarmed freighter. The US Navy guided missile frigate ''Nicholas'' promptly returned fire with its deck-mounted, water-cooled, .50 caliber machine gun. (The pirates were captured, their ship sunk, and their "mother ship" subsequently tracked down and also captured.)** )
**
Somali pirates attacked a French navy command ship[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631)]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading to the swift arrest of the pirates.
9th May '17 11:09:52 AM Triscon42
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* Somali pirates attacked a French navy command ship[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631)]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading to the swift arrest of the pirates.
* [[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/01/2010-04-01_us_navy_captures_5_somali_pirates_siezes_pirate_mother_ship_off_kenya_somali_coa.html Somali pirates]] in a small skiff fired on what they (presumably) assumed was an unarmed freighter. The US Navy guided missile frigate ''Nicholas'' promptly returned fire with its deck-mounted, water-cooled, .50 caliber machine gun. (The pirates were captured, their ship sunk, and their "mother ship" subsequently tracked down and also captured.)
* In 1993, somewhere in the Pacific, two pirate boats fired machinegun warning shots in the direction of an unidentified dry-cargo freighter. And got an auto-cannon warning shot in return, which dissuaded them from trying to board a vessel that's supposed to carry 440 marines. It was ''Nikolai Vilkov'' -- a Russian large landing ship. Being a remake of a civilian project, it [[http://www.navy.ru/nowadays/strength/images/vilkov.jpg resembles a freighter]] with its big crane.

to:

* Somali pirates attacked a French navy command ship[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631)]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading [[RuthlessModernPirates Modern Day Pirates]] have to the swift arrest rely on outdated equipment to find their targets; Often they won't know what kind of the pirates.
*
ship they're attacking until they're almost on top of it. Occasionally, they they make a big mistake.
**
[[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/01/2010-04-01_us_navy_captures_5_somali_pirates_siezes_pirate_mother_ship_off_kenya_somali_coa.html Somali pirates]] in a small skiff fired on what they (presumably) assumed was an unarmed freighter. The US Navy guided missile frigate ''Nicholas'' promptly returned fire with its deck-mounted, water-cooled, .50 caliber machine gun. (The pirates were captured, their ship sunk, and their "mother ship" subsequently tracked down and also captured.)
*
)** Somali pirates attacked a French navy command ship[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631)]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading to the swift arrest of the pirates.
**
In 1993, somewhere in the Pacific, two pirate boats fired machinegun warning shots in the direction of an unidentified dry-cargo freighter. And got an auto-cannon warning shot in return, which dissuaded them from trying to board a vessel that's supposed to carry 440 marines. It was ''Nikolai Vilkov'' -- a Russian large landing ship. Being a remake of a civilian project, it [[http://www.navy.ru/nowadays/strength/images/vilkov.jpg resembles a freighter]] with its big crane.
5th May '17 7:24:35 PM I-Teleported-Bread
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* In 2009, a burglar broke into the house that four undergrad medical students were living in late at night. They had already had a Playstation and two laptops stolen earlier that week. When one of the students heard the noise downstairs, he investigated, armed with a ''katana''. When he encountered the burglar, the burglar lunged at him. The med student severed the burglars hand and then slashed him down the torso, causing him to die of blood loss at the scene.

to:

* In 2009, a burglar broke into the house that four undergrad medical students were living in late at night. They had already had a Playstation and two laptops stolen earlier that week. When one of the students heard the noise downstairs, he investigated, armed with a ''katana''.''[[KatanasAreJustBetter katana]]''. When he encountered the burglar, the burglar lunged at him. The med student severed the burglars hand and then slashed him down the torso, causing him to die of blood loss at the scene.



* An often-repeated and likely-apocryphal tale from the Vietnam War involves a US Navy frigate, usually said to be the USS Barbey or USS Bronsten (the former is unlikely as it wasn't commissioned un til 1972), patrolling the Gulf of Tonkin off the North Vietnamese coast during the war. NVA shore batteries and patrol boats sometimes attacked US ships near the coast, which invariably resulted in a [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomp battle]] at sea but still posed a threat to unwary US warships, so the frigate was on high alert. At some point during the night, the frigate's surface-search radar picks up a large contact closing in on them. Lookouts soon confirm a silhouette in the darkness. The frigate has been ordered to operate under radio silence, so a signal light is used to hail the unidentified ship with Morse Code: "UNIDENTIFIED VESSEL, THIS IS USS BARBEY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF." There is no response. The frigate repeats her message, again no response. Finally, the frigate signals a warning: "UNIDENTIFIED VESSEL, THIS IS USS BARBEY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE." By now, the "scope-dopes" can tell that the radar signature is REALLY big, and the lookouts are saying the same thing. After a pregnant pause, the other ship finally replies: "USS BARBEY, THIS IS [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_New_Jersey_(BB-62) USS NEW JERSEY]]. [[BringIt YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY]]."

to:

* An often-repeated and likely-apocryphal tale from the Vietnam War involves a US Navy frigate, usually said to be the USS Barbey or USS Bronsten (the former is unlikely as it wasn't commissioned un til until 1972), patrolling the Gulf of Tonkin off the North Vietnamese coast during the war. NVA shore batteries and patrol boats sometimes attacked US ships near the coast, which invariably resulted in a [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomp battle]] at sea but still posed a threat to unwary US warships, so the frigate was on high alert. At some point during the night, the frigate's surface-search radar picks up a large contact closing in on them. Lookouts soon confirm a silhouette in the darkness. The frigate has been ordered to operate under radio silence, so a signal light is used to hail the unidentified ship with Morse Code: "UNIDENTIFIED VESSEL, THIS IS USS BARBEY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF." There is no response. The frigate repeats her message, again no response. Finally, the frigate signals a warning: "UNIDENTIFIED VESSEL, THIS IS USS BARBEY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE." By now, the "scope-dopes" can tell that the radar signature is REALLY big, and the lookouts are saying the same thing. After a pregnant pause, the other ship finally replies: "USS BARBEY, THIS IS [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_New_Jersey_(BB-62) USS NEW JERSEY]]. [[BringIt YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY]]."
2nd May '17 4:46:19 PM YT45
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* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later, the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pickup truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr. Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 machine gun that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, [[BullyingADragon to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming]]. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first degree murder, but he was found innocent.

to:

* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later, the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pickup truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr. Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 machine gun automatic rifle that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, [[BullyingADragon to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming]]. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first degree murder, but he was found innocent.innocent on grounds of self-defense.
26th Apr '17 4:47:37 AM Luigifan
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* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pick up truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr.Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 machine gun that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first degree murder, he was found innocent.

to:

* On February 24th, 1984, a man named Gary Fadden accidentally cut off a motorcyclist. A while later later, the man he had offended, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang, returned in a pick up pickup truck with 2 more buddies. They chased Mr. Fadden and his fiance more than 22 miles, occasionally firing shots at his vehicle. Not knowing what else to do, Fadden drove to his workplace, where he assumed he would be safe, the US manufacturing plant for international arms manufacturer, Heckler & Koch. The pursuers drove their truck through the gate. Gary got out of his car and retrieved a Ruger AC-556 machine gun that he had been testing earlier that week. The main biker then hopped out and began to charge Mr. Fadden. Gary fired a burst into the air, [[BullyingADragon to which the biker replied "Fuck you and your rifle" and kept coming.coming]]. Fadden then shot and killed the biker. He was later tried for first degree murder, but he was found innocent.



* In 1993, somewhere in the Pacific, two pirate boats fired machinegun warning shots in the direction of unidentified dry-cargo freighter. And got an auto-cannon warning shot in return, which dissuaded them from trying to board a vessel that's supposed to carry 440 marines. It was ''Nikolai Vilkov'' -- Russian large landing ship. Being a remake of civilian project it [[http://www.navy.ru/nowadays/strength/images/vilkov.jpg resembles a freighter]] with its big crane.
* A man attempted to mug a 77-year-old Air Force veteran, who [[http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=7083552 beat his attacker off with a Pepsi bottle]] after being ''shot in the balls.'' Apparently he's okay except for a slight limp.

to:

* In 1993, somewhere in the Pacific, two pirate boats fired machinegun warning shots in the direction of an unidentified dry-cargo freighter. And got an auto-cannon warning shot in return, which dissuaded them from trying to board a vessel that's supposed to carry 440 marines. It was ''Nikolai Vilkov'' -- a Russian large landing ship. Being a remake of a civilian project project, it [[http://www.navy.ru/nowadays/strength/images/vilkov.jpg resembles a freighter]] with its big crane.
* A man attempted to mug a 77-year-old Air Force veteran, who [[http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=7083552 beat his attacker off with a Pepsi bottle]] after being ''shot ''[[GroinAttack shot in the balls.balls]].'' Apparently he's okay except for a slight limp.



** [[http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/south-africa-pupils-stone-death-armed-gang-311174 In South Africa]] , group of armed robbers entered a school and were then chased by over ''500'' students. The group of students caught up to the robbers and [[VigilanteExecution stoned two of them to death]].

to:

** [[http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/south-africa-pupils-stone-death-armed-gang-311174 In South Africa]] , Africa]], a group of armed robbers entered a school and were then chased by over ''500'' students. The group of students caught up to the robbers and [[VigilanteExecution stoned two of them to death]].



* In the late [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanRepublic Roman Republic]] a young UpperClassTwit, who went by the totally innocuous name of UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar, was captured and held to ransom by some {{Pirates}}. While being held prisoner on the ship, the personable Caesar befriended the pirates, and made jokes that when he was ransomed he was going to come back and kill them all. The pirates laughed at their captive's great sense of humor. Later, [[OhCrap they found out he wasn't joking]].
* In 1890 the three Dalton brothers and two henchmen came riding into Coffeyville, Kansas in order to gain fame by robbing two banks at once across the street from each other. Of course there were problems with this scheme notably that before their job was done word got out among the townsfolk. And a typical Western town had a lot more than five people, and an awful lot of guns.

to:

* In the late [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanRepublic Roman Republic]] Republic]], a young UpperClassTwit, who went by the totally innocuous name of UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar, was captured and held to ransom by some {{Pirates}}. While being held prisoner on the ship, the personable Caesar befriended the pirates, and made jokes that when he was ransomed he was going to come back and kill them all. The pirates laughed at their captive's great sense of humor. Later, [[OhCrap they found out he wasn't joking]].
* In 1890 1890, the three Dalton brothers and two henchmen came riding into Coffeyville, Kansas in order to gain fame by robbing two banks at once across the street from each other. Of course course, there were problems with this scheme scheme, notably that before their job was done done, word got out among the townsfolk. And a typical Western town had a lot more than five people, and an awful lot of guns.



** It gets worse. A plurality of the men in the town were combat veterans from the Civil War. On the ''Union'' side. And they had a lot of guns. Jesse James had been a Confederate "bushwhacker" after the war, and according to two members of his gang, he targeted that particular bank because it was associated with a number of prominent Union military and political figures. Going that far into Yankee country, they should've predicted the cold welcome.

to:

** It gets worse. A plurality of the men in the town were combat veterans from the Civil War. On the ''Union'' side. And they had a lot of guns. Jesse James had been a Confederate "bushwhacker" after the war, and according to two members of his gang, he targeted that particular bank because it was associated with a number of prominent Union military and political figures. Going that far into Yankee country, [[BullyingADragon they should've predicted the cold welcome.welcome]].
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