History MuggingTheMonster / RealLife

22nd Oct '16 8:45:08 AM ironballs16
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* In 2007 a terrorist attack on Glasgow Airport using an incendiary device failed to take into account the presence of [[ViolentGlaswegian Glaswegians]]. A nearby cab driver intervened, resulting in a magnificent newspaper headline in the Daily Record: "I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls I tore a tendon in my foot." Also qualifies as StupidCrooks in that these individuals considered lighting your car's tyres on fire and driving headlong into a concrete wall an act of terrorism, and then for an encore one of them managed to [[EpicFail set fire to his own trousers]] while attempting to flee the scene.

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* In 2007 a terrorist attack on Glasgow Airport using an incendiary device failed to take into account the presence of [[ViolentGlaswegian Glaswegians]]. A nearby cab driver intervened, resulting in [[ARareSentence a magnificent newspaper headline headline]] in the Daily Record: "I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls I tore a tendon in my foot." Also qualifies as StupidCrooks in that these individuals considered lighting your car's tyres on fire and driving headlong into a concrete wall an act of terrorism, and then for an encore one of them managed to [[EpicFail set fire to his own trousers]] while attempting to flee the scene.
4th Oct '16 10:57:06 PM Guerrero
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* Joe Lewis, Karate, Kickboxing and Full Contact Karate Heavyweight World Champion, father of modern Kickboxing and Full Contact Karate, called the "Greatest Karate fighter of all time" by his peers (including Chuck Norris), recalls on one of his instructional videos how he got his signature devastating side kick. His old Master in Okinawa was once minding his business, walking on the street, when he was confronted by 5 assailants. Using only his side kick, the Master managed to hit 3 of them. 2 ended up on the Hospital, while one died of his injuries. The other two had managed to get away. This explains why throughout all of his life, Joe Lewis maintained the side kick as his signature technique.
4th Oct '16 3:43:59 PM Guerrero
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* [[http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/self-defense-training/one-art-is-not-enough-the-self-defense-philosophy-of-kickboxer-kathy-long-part-2/ A recently released felon thought he had found his next victim when he stopped a blue-eyed, blonde, frizzy-haired beauty in Dallas, Texas]], asking her all sorts of questions. When she grew uncomfortable and tried to walk away, he thought he'd grab her by the wrist and subdue her. 5 time World Kickboxing Champion and Kung Fu San Soo 8th degree Master Kathy Long then proceeded to grab and crush his groin, hit his back of the head with her forearm and kick him in the ribs repeatedly while he was crumpled on the ground. The assailant was left with a ruptured testicle with internal bleeding, broken ribs and a concussion.

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* [[http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/self-defense-training/one-art-is-not-enough-the-self-defense-philosophy-of-kickboxer-kathy-long-part-2/ A recently released felon thought he had found his next victim when he stopped a blue-eyed, blonde, frizzy-haired beauty in Dallas, Texas]], asking her all sorts of questions. When she grew uncomfortable and tried to walk away, he thought he'd grab her by the wrist and subdue her. 5 time World Kickboxing Champion and Kung Fu San Soo 8th degree Master Kathy Long then proceeded to grab and crush his groin, hit his back of the head with her forearm and kick him in the ribs repeatedly while he was crumpled on the ground. The assailant was left with a ruptured testicle with internal bleeding, broken ribs and a concussion. Appropriately, Long's in-ring nicknames include "The Princess of Pain", "The Queen of Mean" and "The Punisher".
4th Oct '16 2:25:34 PM Guerrero
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* During the Vietnam war, a particularly rowdy vietnamese soldier found himself having an argument with the Korean hand-to-hand instructor for the army. After the soldier proclaimed that knife-fighting could beat any martial art and issuing a challenge, martial artist Hwang Jang Lee, who would become an actor famous for his roles as a villain in Kung Fu films such as "The Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and nicknamed affectionately "Bootmaster" and "Thunderfoot" and who had started learning Tang Soo Do at an early age, politely declined the challenge. The knife-totting soldier, however, still decided to attack the unarmed man. Dodging and repositioning himself, Hwang Jang Lee fired a roundhouse kick at his temple, with such tremendous power that the soldier died immediately. Hwang was cleared of all charges, as he had acted in self defense. Thunderfoot, indeed.

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* [[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0399007/bio During the Vietnam war, a particularly rowdy vietnamese soldier soldier]] found himself having an argument with the Korean hand-to-hand instructor for the army. After the soldier proclaimed that knife-fighting could beat any martial art and issuing a challenge, martial artist Hwang Jang Lee, who would become an actor famous for his roles as a villain in Kung Fu films such as "The Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and nicknamed affectionately "Bootmaster" and "Thunderfoot" and who had started learning Tang Soo Do at an early age, politely declined the challenge. The knife-totting soldier, however, still decided to attack the unarmed man. Dodging and repositioning himself, Hwang Jang Lee fired a roundhouse kick at his temple, with such tremendous power that the soldier died immediately. Hwang was cleared of all charges, as he had acted in self defense. Thunderfoot, indeed.
4th Oct '16 2:22:05 PM Guerrero
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* A recently released felon thought he had found his next victim when he stopped a blue-eyed, blonde, frizzy-haired beauty in Dallas, Texas, asking her all sorts of questions. When she grew uncomfortable and tried to walk away, he thought he'd grab her by the wrist and subdue her. 5 time World Kickboxing Champion and Kung Fu San Soo 8th degree Master Kathy Long then proceeded to grab and crush his groin, hit his back of the head with her forearm and kick him in the ribs repeatedly while he was crumpled on the ground. The assailant was left with a ruptured testicle with internal bleeding, broken ribs and a concussion.

to:

* [[http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/self-defense-training/one-art-is-not-enough-the-self-defense-philosophy-of-kickboxer-kathy-long-part-2/ A recently released felon thought he had found his next victim when he stopped a blue-eyed, blonde, frizzy-haired beauty in Dallas, Texas, Texas]], asking her all sorts of questions. When she grew uncomfortable and tried to walk away, he thought he'd grab her by the wrist and subdue her. 5 time World Kickboxing Champion and Kung Fu San Soo 8th degree Master Kathy Long then proceeded to grab and crush his groin, hit his back of the head with her forearm and kick him in the ribs repeatedly while he was crumpled on the ground. The assailant was left with a ruptured testicle with internal bleeding, broken ribs and a concussion.
4th Oct '16 2:17:20 PM Guerrero
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Added DiffLines:

* During the Vietnam war, a particularly rowdy vietnamese soldier found himself having an argument with the Korean hand-to-hand instructor for the army. After the soldier proclaimed that knife-fighting could beat any martial art and issuing a challenge, martial artist Hwang Jang Lee, who would become an actor famous for his roles as a villain in Kung Fu films such as "The Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and nicknamed affectionately "Bootmaster" and "Thunderfoot" and who had started learning Tang Soo Do at an early age, politely declined the challenge. The knife-totting soldier, however, still decided to attack the unarmed man. Dodging and repositioning himself, Hwang Jang Lee fired a roundhouse kick at his temple, with such tremendous power that the soldier died immediately. Hwang was cleared of all charges, as he had acted in self defense. Thunderfoot, indeed.
* A recently released felon thought he had found his next victim when he stopped a blue-eyed, blonde, frizzy-haired beauty in Dallas, Texas, asking her all sorts of questions. When she grew uncomfortable and tried to walk away, he thought he'd grab her by the wrist and subdue her. 5 time World Kickboxing Champion and Kung Fu San Soo 8th degree Master Kathy Long then proceeded to grab and crush his groin, hit his back of the head with her forearm and kick him in the ribs repeatedly while he was crumpled on the ground. The assailant was left with a ruptured testicle with internal bleeding, broken ribs and a concussion.
11th Sep '16 2:38:45 AM StFan
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* Powerlifters are the physical embodiment of StoutStrength. They may look rotund, but most of that is muscle, not fat, and many make a hobby or career of lifting several times their own body weight. Some people still think it's a good idea to pick on 'the fatty,' whereupon they learn the hard way that the operative word in the sport of powerlifting is ''power''. One man decided to harrass a powerlifter who was quietly drinking at a bar. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbq4tmlM14o He is quickly relieved of the idea, as well as his consciousness, in a single punch.]]

to:

* Powerlifters are the physical embodiment of StoutStrength. They may look rotund, but most of that is muscle, not fat, and many make a hobby or career of lifting several times their own body weight. Some people still think it's a good idea to pick on 'the fatty,' "the fatty", whereupon they learn the hard way that the operative word in the sport of powerlifting is ''power''. One man decided to harrass harass a powerlifter who was quietly drinking at a bar. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbq4tmlM14o He is quickly relieved of the idea, as well as his consciousness, in a single punch.]]



* [[[[http://the-daily.buzz/robbers-special-forces-mcdonalds/ In June 2016, a pair of robbers tried to stick up a McDonalds in Besançon, France.]] Unfortunately for them, among the patrons were a team of off-duty GIGN members (anti-terrorist Special Forces). They patiently waited for the robbers to exit to avoid any casualties among the customers, then picked them both (on of the perps got shot in the abdomen for refusing to surrender and threatening them with his gun). Nobody was wounded on the side of the gendarmes or civilians.

to:

* [[[[http://the-daily.[[http://the-daily.buzz/robbers-special-forces-mcdonalds/ In June 2016, a pair of robbers tried to stick up a McDonalds in Besançon, France.]] Unfortunately for them, among the patrons were a team of off-duty GIGN members (anti-terrorist Special Forces). They patiently waited for the robbers to exit to avoid any casualties among the customers, then picked them both (on of the perps got shot in the abdomen for refusing to surrender and threatening them with his gun). Nobody was wounded on the side of the gendarmes or civilians.
11th Sep '16 2:28:24 AM StFan
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* Creator/LeeMarvin, a pretty tough guy himself (he was a decorated WW2 vet), once picked a fight with Creator/RogerMoore, accusing him of looking and being too wimpy to be a credible action star. Moore convincingly kicked his ass. Afterwards Marvin was heard to say:-
-->"The guy is built like granite! Nobody will ever underestimate him again!"

to:

* Creator/LeeMarvin, a pretty tough guy himself (he was a decorated WW2 vet), once picked a fight with Creator/RogerMoore, accusing him of looking and being too wimpy to be a credible action star. Moore convincingly kicked his ass. Afterwards Marvin was heard to say:-
-->"The
say:
-->'''Lee Marvin:''' The
guy is built like granite! Nobody will ever underestimate him again!"again!
* [[[[http://the-daily.buzz/robbers-special-forces-mcdonalds/ In June 2016, a pair of robbers tried to stick up a McDonalds in Besançon, France.]] Unfortunately for them, among the patrons were a team of off-duty GIGN members (anti-terrorist Special Forces). They patiently waited for the robbers to exit to avoid any casualties among the customers, then picked them both (on of the perps got shot in the abdomen for refusing to surrender and threatening them with his gun). Nobody was wounded on the side of the gendarmes or civilians.



12th Aug '16 6:24:44 AM Morgenthaler
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* In the late [[TheRomanRepublic Roman Republic]] a young UpperClassTwit, who went by the totally innocuous name of GaiusJuliusCaesar, was captured and held to ransom by some {{Pirates}}. While being held prisoner on the ship, the personable Caesar befriended the pirates, and made jokes that when he was ransomed he was going to come back and kill them all. The pirates laughed at their captive's great sense of humor. Later, [[OhCrap they found out he wasn't joking]].

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* In the late [[TheRomanRepublic [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanRepublic Roman Republic]] a young UpperClassTwit, who went by the totally innocuous name of GaiusJuliusCaesar, Creator/GaiusJuliusCaesar, was captured and held to ransom by some {{Pirates}}. While being held prisoner on the ship, the personable Caesar befriended the pirates, and made jokes that when he was ransomed he was going to come back and kill them all. The pirates laughed at their captive's great sense of humor. Later, [[OhCrap they found out he wasn't joking]].
17th Jul '16 12:37:38 PM nombretomado
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