History Main / TheGuardsMustbeCrazy

->''"All this constant turning my back on the dark woods really makes me miss [[FatalFamilyPhoto my wife and family]]."''
-->-- '''[[http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=14&issue=1 Random Guard]]''', ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''.

* At one point in the 1989 computer RPG ''Dragon Wars'', the party gets captured and thrown into a jail cell (for the second time) and this trope comes into play, as the guards seemingly ''forget to lock your cell door!'' It turns out to be a subversion when you enter the next room, where the guards happen to be waiting for you. It seems these guards got into a lot of trouble for beating prisoners in their cells. But if the prisoners were ''trying to escape...''

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20228_5-insane-prison-escapes-you-wont-believe-actually-worked.html This Cracked article]] has some pretty spectacular examples.

** The Obama administration has already had three unauthorized entries to the White House. It's already crazy security didn't get tighter after the first incident, let alone the fourth.

* So far, the Obama White House has been crashed [[RuleOfThree three times]] by uninvited guests. The first and third cases took advantage of a BavarianFireDrill, while the second gatecrash was a result of some misguided tour organizers sending the tourists to a White House luncheon instead of on the tour.
** To be fair, that's three incidents -that we know about-. Who knows how many people have gone in and not gotten caught. Indeed, that can be the trouble with things like this - if someone does wander around the White House and no one catches them, who is to know that it even happened?

* There is a {{Ninja}} technique, the name of which translates as "throwing the toothpick", to distract guards. To be fair, if it's done properly, the guards never see ''anything'', they just hear a sound.

ItOnlyWorksOnce... Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. It relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners TOO closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened apparently it became a lot more popularized anyway. The Guards were also relying on San Francisco bay's freezing, and [[EverythingsEvenWorseWithSharks Great White]] ''infested'', water doing the hard work for them. Which may have happened.

* [[EscapeFromAlcatraz Alcatraz's]] guards were fooled by one oldest trick in the book after another: dummy heads in the bed, [[LockingMacGyverInTheStoreCupboard digging a hole with spoons]], and climbing up the [[AirVentPassageway ventilator shaft]], making this trope not only GenreBlindness but TruthInTelevision. Since the Alcatraz escape was done some years ago, it might be SeinfeldIsUnfunny too.
** ItOnlyWorksOnce... Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. It relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners TOO closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened apparently it became a lot more popularized anyway. The Guards were also relying on San Francisco bay's freezing, and [[EverythingsEvenWorseWithSharks Great White]] ''infested'', water doing the hard work for them. Which may have happened.

** ItOnlyWorksOnce...
** Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. It relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners TOO closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened I suspect it became a lot more popularized anyway.
** The Guards were also relying on San Francisco bay's freezing, and [[EverythingsEvenWorseWithSharks Great White]] ''infested'', water doing the hard work for them. Which may have happened.

* Played with in "It's About Time" of ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''. Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. ''Turns out that since Twilight is the protege of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library so the guards were just ignoring her.''
** And played straight during ''A Bird in the Hoof'' - where a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) managed to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they were putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. To be fair, Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.

* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius''
** Guards at the castle show a [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20081105 deplorable underreaction]] when someone claiming he's that [[OverlordJr son and heir of their boss]] who [[OneManArmy stopped a little armored army single-handedly]] on the whole city's eyes right before these guys' shift "asked ''nice''" to enter. That he leads a crowd, brandishes an unknown device and [[CheshireCatGrin maniacally grins]] didn't spur their brains to work faster either. To be fair the guards weren't really listening. In fact, if you follow that elegant and finely-crafted link above, you'll notice that about one panel later he says, "[[DoubleTake Wait, you're who?]]"
** [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20120113 Later]], Gilgamesh discovers that all but one of his father's guards consider the fact that he's wearing an [[NiceHat extremely impressive hat]] with his name written on it (''misspelled'') to constitute definitive proof of his identity. He needs to get by that guy too to reach somebody who ''will'' recognize him and vouch for him, so he knocks the guard out, but promises him a promotion afterwards for not being an idiot.

** It's established that also the guards of Hyrule castle are, well... dumb, without exception. No matter what time period the game in question plays in ([[ContinuitySnarl not that we would know]])), the guards never seem to notice anyone walking by, if he's not right before their eyes. Even Princess Zelda has been mentioned to sneak out of the castle with no problems frequently. The only time the guards actually keep something from going in- or outside is in Majora's Mask. And this almost ensured the Termian apocalypse.

*** Or care to act when Link shoots one of the guards in the open. They just ignore the fallen body. Their pirate counterparts in MajorasMask do the same plus will completely ignore Link if he's wearing a certain mask despite following him with their eyes, partially justified in that said mask's ability is to make Link as uninteresting as a stone.

* The team on ''Series/{{Leverage}}'' regularly talk their way past security but they usually have fake IDs and the guards are standard office building rent-a-cops. However, in one episode Hardison talks his way past security to get into an airport's control tower. He has an employee ID but it is for a female employee so he makes a big deal of how he is in the middle of a sex change and the guards are too embarrassed to pursue this further. The danger of their negligence becomes apparent when Hardison almost causes a plane to crash. There is a reason why security at airports is supposed to be very tight. Also, the man in charge of the tower, apparently, doesn't know who's supposed to be working for him.

*** In "Whom Gods Destroy" Spock lies down and pretends to be unconscious. Two guards pick him up to haul him away and he Uses the Vulcan [[PressurePoint Neck Pinch]] on both of them to escape.

* ''Film/{{Goldfinger}}''. Played straight with the foolish guard who enters the cell alone while Film/JamesBond is performing a CeilingCling and subverted by later multiple guards who's more watchful such as staying in the same cell with one having a pistol trained on Bond at all times.

* In ''Syren'', the fifth book of the ''Literature/SeptimusHeap'' series, Septimus gets past a guard in the Trading Post by claiming that he is someone important.
** To be entirely fair, Septimus did not in fact lie to him. He ''was'' the Senior Apprentice(with the nifty Magycal cuffs to prove it), and he ''was'' on official business([[spoiler: getting Jenna, the Princess]]). Trope still applied in that the guard did nothing to verify this.

* Consistent in all the ''Film/AustinPowers'' movies. One even manages to fall into the lava flow when he's outwitted by Felicity Shagwell's boobs.
** Special note to Michael McDonald in the first one, who emits a drawn out BigNo at the oncoming steamroller... that [[OverlyLongGag lasts for a good 15 seconds]] and he needs to inhale to ''continue'' screaming before getting run over.
* In ''MomAndDadSaveTheWorld'', a guard, despite being from a planet of idiots, ''doesn't'' assume Dad is a guard just because he's wearing a uniform... however, she unquestioningly accepts the laughable answers he provides in response to her questioning and lets him go on his way.

* Subverted in ''{{Series/Battlestar Galactica|Reimagined}}'' in that when someone escapes from a cell it's either a gambit by their captors ([[spoiler:Bulldog, and later Ellen Tigh escaping from the Cylon basestar)]] or because the guards are in on things (Laura Roslin in Season 2, and Tom Zarek during TheMutiny). Probably the least plausible occasion is when Gina escapes from the Pegasus brig, makes her way to Admiral Cain's quarters and shoots her, ''and then'' slips off the battlestar unnoticed. Although she had the help of Baltar, a uniform and things were chaotic in the aftermath of a major attack, it still stretched the bounds of credibility.

* Subverted in ''{{Series/Battlestar Galactica|Reimagined}}'' in that when someone escapes from a cell it's either ([[spoiler:Bulldog, and later Ellen Tigh]] escaping from the Cylon basestar) or because the guards are in on things (Laura Roslin in Season 2, and Tom Zarek during TheMutiny). Probably the least plausible occasion is when Gina escapes from the Pegasus brig, makes her way to Admiral Cain's quarters and shoots her, ''and then'' slips off the battlestar unnoticed. Although she had the help of Baltar, a uniform and things were chaotic in the aftermath of a major attack, it still stretched the bounds of credibility.

* Examining allegedly sick prisoners whilst unarmed and alone, and having left the cell door open.

* Subverted in the first ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty'' game. In one of the missions of the British campaign, Cpt. Price and Sgt. Evans (the player) are given the task to sabotage the German battleship ''Tirpitz'' from inside, and in order to do that they've to kill two German seamen on shore and take their uniforms. Once they arrives to the ship, they were allowed onboard thanks to Cpt. Price's fluenty german, but when they arrives to the armory, one of the guards stationed outside is suspicious of them (likely due to Cpt. Price's lack of German accent) and phonecall the command about Cpt. Price's false ID-card to see if it's realible. Their covers soon about to be blow up, Cpt. Price shoots the guards, and cue to an firefight.

** Even better, they only crime he was charged with was stealing a bottle of cheap wine, because, at the time, trespassing was a civil offense rather than a criminal one. The charge was dropped when he was committed to a mental hospital.
*** [[FridgeLogic It seriously wasn't criminal to break into a private residence?]]
*** Nope, though the Queen could have sued him under Tort Law if she'd wanted. It is now though, thanks to the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994, at least in England and Wales. Still isn't a crime in Scotland, just grounds for a delict action.

* Assuming anyone in a [[DressingAsTheEnemy guard outfit]] must be a guard, even if they don't [[FacelessGoons recognize]] them [[note]]Although this may be {{justified|Trope}} for the NewMeat, or in very large facilities.[[/note]].

* Particularly in [[StealthBasedGame stealth-based video games]], staring at the wall or otherwise ignoring key entry and exit points. [[hottip:++:Stealth-game guards also tend to have very limited peripheral vision and a very predictable sweep of the head while patrolling, although it's a smidge unfair to call someone "stupid" for what are obvious physiological or psychological problems. Whoever ''hired'' them, on the other hand...]]