History Main / TheGuardsMustbeCrazy

** In ''Literature/TheLastHero'', Evil Harry Dread (the archetypical EvilOverlord) ''hires'' his henchmen on the above criteria. "Butcher" is the archetype of the trope.[[labelnote:Why?]]If he makes it easier for Heroes to move about his lair, then they'll usually return the favor by letting him live, and escape to build another lair.[[/labenote]]

** In ''Literature/TheLastHero'', Evil Harry Dread (the archetypical EvilOverlord) ''hires'' his henchmen on the above criteria. "Butcher" is the archetype of the trope.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGalaxyRangers'' had several examples of Queenie's {{Mooks}} being either thoroughly incompetent... or very competent, DependingOnTheWriter. With the first examples, Doc could hijack their communicator signals and pull lines of BS on them ("New Frontier," "Badge of Power"), sending them on a wild goose chase... or right into Goose's blasters. The more competent ones, like in "Tortuna", could be bribed or needed to be fought.
* Subverted in the ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGummiBears'' episode when trolls are holding the Gummi hostage in Gummi Glen, to force the colony to recover a treasure hidden in a tree they uprooted and put in Castle Dunwin. Unfortunately, when Gummis get to the tree they find it empty, because the castle guards were apparently smart enough to discover the treasure and moved it to the castle treasury.
* ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'': The Banana Guards who are supposed to protect the Candy Kingdom are not particularly bright. In "Root Beer Guy" they completely ignored a resident (the eponymous Root Beer Guy) who claimed Princess Bubblegum had been kidnapped, preferred to watch reality TV shows over the surveillance tapes that clearly showed her being kidnapped, and only responded to Root Beer Guy when he claimed he was [[DisproportionateRetribution taking a boat out after 8:00]]. [[spoiler: Fortunately, it was all just a test to determine the efficiency of the Banana Guards; Root Beer Guy, who was the only one following the clues, became the new captain of the guard.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Amphibia}}'': In "True Colors", the toad soldiers holding King Andrias captive are easily distracted by Hop Pop putting on an improvised one-frog performance.
* The guards of the "high security" prison in the ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' episodes "The Boiling Rock". Sokka and Zuko somehow obtain uniforms and pass themselves off as newbies. The AloneWithPrisonerPloy occurs in the first of the two episodes. Strangely enough, Zuko slips up and is caught -- but Sokka, who was the one alone with Suki, isn't suspected at all. Later on, Sokka pulls up his mask and goes to the side to talk to two prisoners. They're obviously not hiding particularly well because they ''are'' caught... by another prisoner. Somewhat justified in that without having a miniature zeppelin they would never have gotten in. Identity would only have to be checked at the entrance and exit. Even if someone did get a guard's uniform, there is only one exit and presumably, they DO check guards leaving.
* ''WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers'': PlayedWith in the episode "[[Recap/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteersS2E3DomesOfDoom Domes of Doom]]". Bleak puts [[NonHumanSidekick Suchi]] in a cage, ties Ma-Ti up and strips him of his ring. However, he sets the cage near enough that Suchi can untie his master, and leaves the ring in the same room.
* ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987'':
** Used and slightly lampshaded in an episode where Huey, Dewey, and Louie are imprisoned in a room with a guard looking in at them once every hour or so. While two of the identical triplets work on the means of their escape, the third one sits in front of a trifold mirror, giving the impression -- sort of -- that there are three boys sitting there. Lampshaded in that one of the boys asks whether the guard won't notice that they're all wearing the same clothes, only to be told by the one devising the plan that "he's so tired, he's not going to care WHAT we're wearing, just so long as there's three of us." Improbably, this turns out to be true.
** They mess with the guards again in a ''Magazine/DisneyAdventures'' comic when the Beagle Boys are trying to break in to Scrooge's new voice-identification safe (one member of the gang can imitate Scrooge's voice) and leave Burger Beagle behind to guard the tied-up nephews. [[BatmanGambit Correctly reasoning that Burger's gluttony far outweighs his intelligence]], the kids begin to "casually" discuss how great it would be to have a cheeseburger, which they discuss in mouthwatering detail. Since this is, of course, Burger's TrademarkFavoriteFood, he just has to leave the room to go get a cheeseburger, [[SchmuckBait telling his captives to "stay right there."]] Then the kids, being Junior Woodchucks, easily untie the knotted ropes around them, which the Beagle Boys were too sloppy in tying anyway.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/EarthwormJim'' episode "Conqueror Worm", Jim, Peter, and Snot have to get Jim's supersuit back from the labs where it was put after Jim was arrested, (ItMakesSenseInContext) but first have to get past the security guards!... Which they stroll right past. The sight of a giant worm, talking dog, and living booger spurs only one reaction from the guards.
-->'''Guard:''' ''[on phone]'' Hello, DNA lab? Whatever you guys are doing in there-- ''Cut it out!''
* Parodied in ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', where a CutawayGag has the ease of a situation being compared to escape from Canadian Alcatraz. Cue the scene where an inmate simply walks up to a guard and asks if he can leave through this door. The guard simply says sure, just be back before bedtime, and letting the inmate leave.
* Played with in the ''WesternAnimation/GIJoeARealAmericanHero'' episode "Grey Hairs and Growing Pains". When the Joes pretend to be civilian customers for Cobra's health spa, they are recognized immediately, and the Cobra agents play along and then trap them. Later, after the Joes get turned into old people and children, they pretend to be a family on a road trip and get into a Cobra base by asking the guard for directions and then for a bathroom. Once inside, they are immediately recognized again. Serpentor orders Dr. Mindbender to arrest the front guard for his incompetence.
* One early episode of ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'' featured a night-guard at an aquarium who was too busy feeding the animals cookies to notice Arnold and his grandmother coming in and leaving with a homesick sea turtle.
%%* ''WesternAnimation/JonnyQuest'' used this one a lot.
* The Franchise/DCAnimatedUniverse had at least a couple examples of these, both of which became a DoubleSubversion:
** Part one of the ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'' episode "[[Recap/JusticeLeagueS1E8And9InjusticeForAll Injustice for All]]" involves Lex Luthor breaking himself and the Ultra-Humanite out of prison. The latter is stated to be a model prisoner, having accrued quite a few privileges and "necessities" during his stint there, but the guards still don't take chances with him or the other prisoners. A retina scanner is the only way into the cells, and when Humanite asks the guards to bring over his dinner, claiming to be unwell, they immediately draw their truncheons on the off chance it's a ruse. This being the [[GeniusBruiser Ultra-Humanite]], however, they don't take into account that part of the floor has been electrified enough to render them unconscious right as they wheel the food over it, giving Humanite and Luthor the chance they need to escape.
** Then, in the ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond'' episode "[[Recap/BatmanBeyondS3E3Betrayal Betrayal]]", two RedShirt guards come across a prison transport lying in the road, and have the following exchange:
--->'''Guard 1:''' I've seen month old fish that smelled better than this.\\
'''Guard 2:''' Could be for real. Somebody might be hurt.\\
'''Guard 1:''' All right. Go check. ''[tosses large gun to other guard]'' Here. In case it's a fish.\\
'''Guard 2:''' ''[humoring him]'' Right. ''[deciding to be a little savvy himself]'' Lock up after me.\\
'''Guard 1:''' You don't have to remind me. ''[locks cab]''[[note]]It's only because the prisoner inside is half as tall again as an average man and almost twice as broad at the shoulder that the guards don't completely avert the trope.[[/note]]
* ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'':
** Played with in "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. Since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library -- the guards were just ''ignoring'' her.
** During "A Bird in the Hoof", a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) manages to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they are putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.
** The Season 2 Finale has the entire Royal Guard up and underarms because they were tipped off that something bad ''is'' going to happen. But when it does happen, they are apparently still surprised enough to be overrun without putting up as much as a fight. Let's just face it: [[MilitariesAreUseless these guys do not do good at their job.]]
** In "Rarity Investigates!", a stranger offering them a cake is enough to get three guards to desert their post to eat it. As a result, Rainbow Dash gets framed for a crime.
** In "Sparkle's Seven", despite Shining Armor's efforts to ramp up the security of the castle, the royal guards still aren't sterling examples of vigilance. Even discounting Zephyr Breeze (whom Luna assigned with the expectation he'd fail anyway), the other guards are easily falling for distractions — twice, by "Apple Chord"'s singing and then by Pinkie Pie's party. Also, one guard getting his medal stolen — which is the key to the doors of the castle — isn't noticed nor immediately reported. And another guard is easily fooled by Rarity's PaperThinDisguise when she pretends being here to relieve him.
** Season 9 has a very glaring example in "Frenemies" where [[spoiler:Grogar]] sends three ex-big bads, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow, to retrieve his bell so the former can restore his full power. On the mountain the bell is being held, a lone guard, Rusty Bucket, encounters Cozy and completely fails to note her seemingly being on her own without any guardians. Even after she throws a huge temper tantrum, Rusty at most just feels bummed when Cozy leaves and tells him that she never wanted to be friends in the first place. Even later, when Cozy brings back Tirek and Chrysalis in tow, Rusty seemingly doesn't think to inform the princesses about three highly dangerous criminals being on the loose.
* ''WesternAnimation/NinaNeedsToGo'' has a scene where Nina and her grandmother set off an alarm by going into a not-allowed area on the way to the bathroom. One guard asks if they should stop them, and another replied: "Nah when you gotta go, you gotta go". In addition to this being dumb, ''how was he supposed to know they were on their way to the bathroom?''
* ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'':
** In ''Agony of a Witch", two teenagers and a preteen manage to sneak through the Emperor's Castle using nothing but low level magic and disguises without anyone being aware of their presence until Luz accidentally sets off the security in the relic room.
** Justified in "O Titan, Where Art Thou". The Day of Unity is such a big event that the Emperor's Coven members are running themselves ragged to prepare for it. Thus, despite the poor quality of Eda and Luz's costumes, no one really raises any alarms until their argument about [[spoiler:Luz going with Raine]] gets loud enough for someone to notice. And it's completely averted when Eda and Luz are caught; they are chained and their cell is guarded by lots of guards and Abomatons.
* With incompetent guards like WesternAnimation/YippeeYappeeAndYahooey (a.k.a. the Goofy Guards from the ''WesternAnimation/PeterPotamus'' show), who needs villains? What did the king ever do to deserve them?
%%* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': Since Springfield Jail is run by Chief Wiggum and his officers, this is pretty much inevitable.
* In the second episode of ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheBadBatch'' [[spoiler:Cut Lawquaine and his family]] are boarding a heavily guarded shuttle off-planet using fake chain codes. [[spoiler:Cut]] manages to make it to the boarding ramp before one of the clone troopers recognizes his face, only managing to escape after Force 99's nearby firefight attracts more attention.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheCloneWars'':
** In "[[Recap/StarWarsTheCloneWarsS3E10HeroesOnBothSides Heroes on Both Sides]]", Clone Commander Fox ends up letting a squad of Separatist sabotage droids in, allowing them destroy a power plant on Coruscant. He could be forgiven as they were [[JanitorImpersonationInfiltration disguised as sweeper droids]], but they still didn't know which way the power plant they were assigned to was and ''we later learn that the workers at said plant didn't even order any sweeper droids at all''.
** The [[{{Mooks}} Separatist battle droids]] are even worse in this regard. Padmé notably escapes in "[[Recap/StarWarsTheCloneWarsS1E8BombadJedi Bombad Jedi]]" by doing the old fake-out escape trick, which would have failed had any the droids been facing her or bound her legs to the wall as well (granted, the droids were not the ones who built the prison). Even worse, since there are five droids there.
** "[[Recap/StarWarsTheCloneWarsS5E10SecretWeapons Secret Weapons]]" has ''a Pit Droid, of all things'', convince two Super Battle Droids that he was sent by General Grievous and [[TooDumbToLive get them to lock themselves up]] claiming to it to be part of a drill.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsRebels'' has several examples of this trope in play by the Empire but, two examples stand out in particular.
** "[[Recap/StarWarsRebelsS1E12RebelResolve Rebel Resolve]]": Two stormtroopers guarding an Imperial shuttle let a courier droid that [[PaperThinDisguise is clearly Chopper (an outdated model of astromech)]] on the ship despite the fact that this supposed courier droid's escort is nowhere to found. One of them even points out this out but, their partner just dismisses it.
** "[[Recap/StarWarsRebelsS4E04FlightOfTheDefender Flight of the Defender]]" has an even worse example where two stormtroopers guarding the [[SuperPrototype new TIE Defender]] leave their post to chase after some loth-cats that attacked them despite it not actually injuring them when [[TheInspectorIsComing Grand Admiral Thrawn is due to arrive at any moment]]. Worse still, they never consider just blasting the things or just trying to scare them off, and are seen later still chasing even when they are well outside the base. Makes you wonder how they even became stormtroopers in the first place.
* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'': {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in "[[Recap/StevenUniverseS5E2TheTrial The Trial]]" by Defense Zircon. At the time that she allegedly shattered Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz had been a recognized public enemy for centuries, and there were no other Rose Quartz gems in Pink Diamond's court or entourage. So ''how'' did Rose Quartz get close enough to Pink Diamond to shatter her? Why didn't her [[{{Seers}} Sapphires]] see Rose coming? Why didn't her [[PraetorianGuard Agates]] try to fight Rose Quartz off? Shouldn't her [[BeautifulSlaveGirl Pearl]] at least have been able to sound the alarm? [[spoiler: It is later revealed there's a ''very good reason'' for this.]]
* The Trope was played with in ''WesternAnimation/StrokerAndHoop'', when Stroker has to knock a guard out to get deeper into a complex. After [[DressingAsTheEnemy dressing as the guard]], he gets into the next room where the guard is seemingly fooled by Stroker holding a clipboard over his face and using a bad falsetto. The guard isn't fooled for a second, asking Stroker if he thinks he's some kind of idiot. Stroker complains that [[LampshadeHanging the guard should have been reading a skin mag or watching a sports game instead of monitoring the camera feeds]], causing the guard to retort "Hey, I happen to ''like'' my job."
* Subverted in ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2012''. When April feigns a stomachache, the Kraang guard immediately spots (and stops) her father from sneaking away, and isn't affected when April attacks him (being a robot and all).
* ''WesternAnimation/TheTransformers'' episode "The Quintesson Journal" has Blaster and Outback convincing a Sharkticon guard to deactivate the bars on their cell by bribing him with an energon cube. Once the bars are gone, the guard is promptly shot, because someone forgot to take the Autobots' weapons before locking them up.
-->'''Blaster:''' Was that as easy as I thought it was?
* Used, played with, subverted and lampshaded frequently in ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', most often through the misadventures of Number 21 and Number 24, [[ThoseTwoGuys two guards]] who [[MauveShirt somehow manage to survive the carnage of the series]], and give plausible voice to the wit and social skills necessary for career henchmen.
[[/folder]]

* In 1982, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Fagan_incident an unhinged man climbed the wall of Buckingham palace.]] Someone saw him and reported it, but by the time guards came to look, he was gone and they decided he must have left already; they raised no alarm. When he went through a window, the security system alerted a policeman on duty, who assumed it was a malfunction and '''silenced the alarm twice in a row'''. Wandering through the halls, he passed a housekeeper, who '''greeted him'''. He eventually made it to the Queen's chamber, where she was sleeping unguarded, woke her up, and chatted to her as she tried to get help by two different methods (a button and the phone); nobody came for ten minutes (the person who ''did'' eventually show up was a housemaid). As Hollywood writer Creator/WilliamGoldman said it, if you would put this in a movie, [[RealityIsUnrealistic people probably would throw rotten eggs at the screen]] for breaking their SuspensionOfDisbelief. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking He also got cigarettes upon request.]] Even better, they only crime he was charged with was stealing a bottle of cheap wine, because, at the time, trespassing was a civil offense rather than a criminal one (this has been changed). The charge was dropped when he was committed to a mental hospital. [[note]] To be totally fair, the guy, although undoubtedly unhinged, he was also friendly and amiable, and only wanted to break into Buckingham Palace to "Have a word with the top person" to discuss his problems. [[/note]]

* In 1982, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Fagan_incident an unhinged man climbed the wall of Buckingham palace.]] Someone saw him and reported it, but by the time guards came to look, he was gone and they decided he must have left already; they raised no alarm. When he went through a window, the security system alerted a policeman on duty, who assumed it was a malfunction and '''silenced the alarm twice in a row'''. Wandering through the halls, he passed a housekeeper, who '''greeted him'''. He eventually made it to the Queen's chamber, where she was sleeping unguarded, woke her up, and chatted to her as she tried to get help by two different methods (a button and the phone); nobody came for ten minutes (the person who ''did'' eventually show up was a housemaid). As Hollywood writer Creator/WilliamGoldman said it, if you would put this in a movie, [[RealityIsUnrealistic people probably would throw rotten eggs at the screen]] for breaking their SuspensionOfDisbelief. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking He also got cigarettes upon request.]] Even better, they only crime he was charged with was stealing a bottle of cheap wine, because, at the time, trespassing was a civil offense rather than a criminal one (this has been changed). The charge was dropped when he was committed to a mental hospital.

* In ''Fanfic/{{Spider-Ninja}}'', Stark Tower is surrounded by security cameras and a team of security guards, even late at night. These same security guards all abandon their posts when the leading guard gets an anonymous call that there are free doughnuts in the break room, and ''no one'' thinks to check why suddenly all of the security cameras have been deactivated (aka ''[[NoKillLikeOverkill stabbed through the screen]]''). This allows the Turtles to get to and from Stark Tower totally unseen.

* In ''Fanfic/{{Spider-Ninja}}'', Stark Tower is surrounded by security cameras and a team of security guards, even late at night. These same security guards all abandon their posts when the leading guard gets an anonymous call that there are free doughnuts in the break room, and ''no one'' thinks to check why suddenly all of the security cameras have been ''stabbed through the screen''. This allows the turtles to get to and from Stark Tower totally unseen.

* The guards at the ''Franchise/{{Batman}}''-verse [[BedlamHouse Arkham Asylum]]. Whether it's letting the Joker substitute all their real guns for popguns, allowing him access to janitorial chemicals that let him mix together some Joker Venom, or constructing a ''hot air balloon that allows him to fly over the walls'', the increasingly ridiculous, contrived and unbelievable ways that the Joker and the other Bat-villains escape from Arkham would be construed as painfully bad in any other franchise. For the ''Batman'' comics, on the other hand, it's par for the course. FridgeBrilliance kicks in when you realize that it's probably safer for the guards to not try and stop people like the Joker, Killer Croc, Two Face, and Poison Ivy. The guards survive longer if they stay out of the way of escaping inmates, and it's safer for the guards if Joker is on the streets instead of at their daily work place.
* Marvel had a version of Arkham called Ravencroft that would have been far more secure if not for incompetent staff and even more incompetent government officials funding the place. It was originally run by Dr. Ashley Kafka with Colonel John Jameson heading the security, but her insistence that some inmates could be cured (when they obviously couldn't) led to problems. After the government decided that the Chameleon could stand trial, she made a serious breech of protocol by taking him out of his cell and into the facility's basement, which of course, let him escape. After the crisis this caused, both Kafka and Jameson were fired, which only made things worse. The first replacement actually thought that the extensive security devoted to one inmate -- who happened to be Carnage -- was ''too much of a drain on the budget'', and [[TooDumbToLive turned part of it off]], completely ignoring the screaming protests of the veteran guards. It took Carnage all of ten seconds to escape (and worst of all, his symbiote nearly possessed the ComicBook/SilverSurfer this time).

* In ''Fanfic/TheNightUnfurls'', this trope is {{lampshaded}} by Kyril in Chapter 3, remastered version. As he is walking down the hall to attend a meeting with the Seven Shields, he internally notes that he often takes walks like this during nighttime. He is able to do so without being noticed because, in his words, "sneaking past the guards was a joke".

* Subverted in ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'': Ford attempts to save himself and Arthur from being [[ThrownOutTheAirlock chucked out an airlock]] by talking a Vogon guard into questioning the purpose of his life, but the guard is [[TooDumbToFool too dumb for Ford to get through to him]]. In fact, the guard really enjoys his job. Including the whole throw people out of the airlock part. And the shouting.

* The guards at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in the ''Series/SesameStreet'' special "Don't Eat the Pictures" never notice a group of nine people and four muppets who were locked in the museum overnight TRYING to find a way out until one of the people who was trapped inside mentions it to them as the museum reopens the next morning.

* DoublySubverted in ''Webcomic/AnecdoteOfError'', where a security guard posted outside the school grounds stops Shimei and Atshi from sneaking out because class is still in session, but then when Atshi [[BlatantLies claims]] the teacher sent them, rather than getting any confirmation[[note]]There are other guards at his post who could cover him if need be[[/note]] he just lets them through.

* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'': {{Lampshaded}} in "[[Recap/StevenUniverseS5E2TheTrial The Trial]]" by Defense Zircon. At the time that she allegedly shattered Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz had been a recognized public enemy for centuries, and there were no other Rose Quartz gems in Pink Diamond's court or entourage. So ''how'' did Rose Quartz get close enough to Pink Diamond to shatter her? Why didn't her [[{{Seers}} Sapphires]] see Rose coming? Why didn't her [[PraetorianGuard Agates]] try to fight Rose Quartz off? Shouldn't her [[BeautifulSlaveGirl Pearl]] at least have been able to sound the alarm? [[spoiler: It is later revealed there's a ''very good reason'' for this.]]

* ''WesternAnimation/DespicableMe'': Justin, the little fat boy in the beginning, manages to sneak into the restricted zone of the pyramid with two guards standing not even three feet away from him.
* The guards in ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles'' fall prey to a few of these. They're decent enough at their jobs when they're in action, but it's the boring surveillance part of the day that always slips them up. At one point in the movie, they ''all'' leave their posts to check on a colleague who's just collapsed. Later, they don't notice Helen when she's right behind them. She even talks. Later still, nobody is paying attention to the security cameras and are all partying in the background. Only [[PunchClockVillain Mirage]] notices the escapees that don't even bother to avoid the security cameras. Most notably, though, is later in the same scene where it gets absurd enough that Bob {{lampshade|Hanging}}s it. They enter a large room with no-one in it and he absently wonders, "Where are all the guards?"

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Amphibia}}: In "True Colors", the toad soldiers holding King Andrias captive are easily distracted by Hop Pop putting on an improvised one-frog performance.

* Letting visitors give prisoners [[JailBake seemingly harmless gifts of food]], such as a big cake.

* When infamous wealthy pedophile and trafficker Jeffrey Epstein was imprisoned, he was supposed to get checked on twice an hour. His guards, however, were ''alarmingly'' inattentive, despite Epstein having been on suicide watch after a supposed attempt a few weeks ago. It turned out they had falsified at least seventy-five checks on the guy, and didn't discover that Epstein had died until they delivered his breakfast in the morning. This was despite his cell being only about fifteen feet away from their workstation. Pretty much the only thing everyone can agree on is that these guards were either phenomenally stupid or being paid off.
* The Transport Security Administration of America is fairly infamous for their shoddy work, with undercover investigators discovering that TSA agents failed to find hidden weapons or contraband roughly 96% of the time. They're often considered the most famous modern example of "security theater": that is, security measures that reassure civilians that the government is doing ''something'' and therefore they must be safe, but don't actually work all that well for taking down criminals.
** Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame has a story about how he forgot [[{{BFS}} 12 inch razor blades]] in his luggage and they didn't catch them. [[GroinAttack But they made sure to grope his genitals.]]

** Prior to this, the Swamp King has a very hard time trying to keep the guards he'd assigned to his son from following him out of the room through a SustainedMisunderstanding. And even when they ''do'' finally get the picture, they smilingly watch on as the Prince writes out a letter, [[{{Arrowgram}} ties it to an arrow]] and hurriedly fires it out the window in order to summon help, because [[LawfulStupid the king didn't specifically tell them to stop him]].

** [[ThrowingTheDistraction Abandoning their post]] to investigate these odd sounds, usually alone or if there’s a team of guards, [[LetsSplitUpGang spreading out just beyond sight of each other.]]

** Not raising an alarm or calling HQ upon seeing something suspicious, especially the corpse of another guard; instead, they try to find the perpetrator themselves.

** Not noticing that the other guards seem to be disappearing.

** But never curious enough to eavesdrop on conversations between the prisoner and [[AloneWithPrisonerPloy unscheduled higher-ups]], ''especially'' when they say they want to be "alone with a prisoner", if you know what I mean.

** If they do bother to confiscate the equipment, they will leave them in an unsecured location where the prisoner can easily retrieve them during an escape attempt.

* Letting visitors give prisoners [[JailBake seemingly harmless gifts of food]], such ss a big cake.

* Not confirming the authenticity of unexpected [[TrojanPrisoner prisoner shipments]], [[SurpriseInspectionRuse surprise inspections]], [[JanitorImpersonationInfiltration new janitors]] or [[DeliveryGuyInfiltration pizza deliveries]].

* Blurting out [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish passwords]] loudly as they enter them.

* [[DistractedByTheSexy Ogling the centerfold]] in the latest issue of ''Hot Babes'' instead of paying attention to what's going on around them.

A SubTrope of ArtisticLicensePrison and an [[AcceptableBreaksFromReality Acceptable Break from Reality]], as competent guards would cause characters to end up stuck in prison forever, and [[StealthBasedGame Stealth-Based Games]] would be unwinnable.

** Not raising an alarm upon seeing something suspicious, especially the corpse of another guard.

* Letting visitors give prisoners [[JailBake seemingly harmless gifts of food]].

** But never curious enough to eavesdrop on conversations between the prisoner and [[AloneWithPrisonerPloy unscheduled higher-ups]], ''especially'' when they say they want to be alone with a prisoner, if you know what I mean.

* Walking very close to prisoners.

* Leaving prisoners locked in a room with [[BedsheetLadder a bed and an open window]].

* Blurting out [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish passwords]] as they enter them.