History Main / TheGuardsMustBeCrazy

20th Mar '17 7:01:21 PM Sark0TAG
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* In ''VideoGame/{{Riven}}'', a Rivenese guard nicknamed "[[FanNickname Cho]]" was assigned by Gehn to guard the Linking spot for the titular Age. Upon seeing you, he does a very poor job of asking you to give him one of your items, before just stealing it from you. Moments later, someone shoots him with a tranquilizer dart, drags him off-screen, and lets you out of the cage. This wasn't the first time, either, as the same thing happened when [[spoiler: Catherine]] arrived earlier.
14th Mar '17 2:11:29 AM KobyFish
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* WesternAnimation/TheTransformers episode "The Quintesson Journal" has Blaster and Outback convincing a Sharkticon guard to deactivate the bars on his cell by bribing him with an energon cube. Once the bars are gone, the guard is promptly shot, because someone forgot to take the Autobots' weapons before locking them up.

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* WesternAnimation/TheTransformers episode "The Quintesson Journal" has Blaster and Outback convincing a Sharkticon guard to deactivate the bars on his their cell by bribing him with an energon cube. Once the bars are gone, the guard is promptly shot, because someone forgot to take the Autobots' weapons before locking them up.
14th Mar '17 2:10:20 AM KobyFish
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* WesternAnimation/TheTransformers episode "The Quintesson Journal" has Blaster and Outback convincing a Sharkticon guard to deactivate the bars on his cell by bribing him with an energon cube. Once the bars are gone, the guard is promptly shot, because someone forgot to take the Autobots' weapons before locking them up.
-->'''Blaster''': "Was that as easy as I thought it was?"
9th Mar '17 3:51:20 PM KhymChanur
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* ''VideoGame/Machinarium'': Donning an unconvincing approximation of a police-bot's costume is sufficient for the city sentry to allow you to pass into the city.

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* ''VideoGame/Machinarium'': ''VideoGame/{{Machinarium}}'': Donning an unconvincing approximation of a police-bot's costume is sufficient for the city sentry to allow you to pass into the city.city.
* While ''Videogame/StyxMasterOfShadows'' has many of the standard problems, it adds a new one with a new mechanic: wall torches which can be snuffed out by the protagonists in order to increase the area covered by shadows. This can either be down manually when right next to a torch or remotely by throwing a wet ball of sand at a torch. Not only do patrolling guards not notice that previously lit areas are dark, the guards won't even notice if a torch in their field of vision is snuffed out by a ball of sand.
4th Mar '17 11:05:07 PM HeroicJay
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** In ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild Breath of the Wild]]'', the Yiga guards can absolutely hear your footsteps and VoiceGrunting, they tend to persist for a while if they hear you but don't catch you, they fight to kill rather than imprison if they see you, they're strong and tough enough that fighting them is a bad idea, they sound an alarm (causing you to be swarmed) if they see you or you deal any damage to them at all, and after the first room they patrol all the places you're likely to want to be... and if they see some [[TrademarkFavoriteFood bananas]] in their line of sight, they ignore everything until said bananas have been nabbed. They also fall for the same barrel trick as the Moblins from ''Wind Waker'', though this stops you from tossing bananas around.
24th Feb '17 1:54:31 PM mlsmithca
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* In ''ComicBook/{{Asterix}} the Gladiator'', Asterix and Obelix find a guard who works at the prison where they are holding Cacophonix prisoner. Asterix tells Obelix that they have to ask him some "clever questions" to find out his exact location. Obelix, to Asterix's astonishment, simply asks "Hey you! Where is Cacophonix imprisoned?". The (overly tired) guard replies in detail adding "but it's a secret" while Asterix sits there befuddled.

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* In ''ComicBook/{{Asterix}} the Gladiator'', Asterix and Obelix find a guard who works at the prison where they are holding Cacophonix Cacofonix prisoner. Asterix tells Obelix that they have to ask him some "clever questions" to find out his exact location. Obelix, to Asterix's astonishment, simply asks "Hey you! Where is Cacophonix Cacofonix imprisoned?". The (overly tired) guard replies in detail adding "but it's a secret" while Asterix sits there befuddled.
6th Feb '17 6:04:33 AM thatother1dude
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** Played with in "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. ''Turns out that since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library so the guards were just ignoring her.''
** And played straight during "A Bird in the Hoof" -- where a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) managed to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they were putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.
** In fact, it's played straight throughout the series, almost to the point of parody. The Season 2 Finale, for instance, has the entire Royal Guard up and under arms because they were tipped off that something bad ''was'' going to happen. But when it did happen, they were apparently still surprised enough to be overrun without putting up as much as a fight. Let's just face it: [[MilitariesAreUseless these guys do not do good at their job.]]

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** Played with in "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. ''Turns out that since Since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library so the library--the guards were just ignoring her.''
''ignoring'' her.
** And played straight during During "A Bird in the Hoof" -- where Hoof", a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) managed to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they were putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.
** In fact, it's played straight throughout the series, almost to the point of parody. The Season 2 Finale, for instance, Finale has the entire Royal Guard up and under arms because they were tipped off that something bad ''was'' going to happen. But when it did happen, they were apparently still surprised enough to be overrun without putting up as much as a fight. Let's just face it: [[MilitariesAreUseless these guys do not do good at their job.]]
3rd Feb '17 1:22:39 PM SeptimusHeap
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* ''Literature/WetDesertTrackingDownATerroristOnTheColoradoRiver'': The chief of security at Glen Canyon Dam has an outburst when he is told that a security guard let the bomber in without confirming that the supposed elevator maintenance guy was in fact an elevator maintenance guy.
20th Jan '17 3:07:41 PM gb00393
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* ''Series/GameOfThrones''. Subverted with Mord, a turnkey who's so thick that Tyrion Lannister, from the richest family in the Seven Kingdoms, can't even bribe his way out.

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* ''Series/GameOfThrones''. ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
**
Subverted with Mord, a turnkey who's so thick that Tyrion Lannister, from the richest family in the Seven Kingdoms, can't even bribe his way out.


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** Jaime Lannister manages to escape by baiting the only guard by killing his cellmate.
** Averted by Brienne, who insists on keeping the talking to a minimum and watching Jaime take a piss. She eventually makes the mistake of getting too close, but it takes weeks.
12th Jan '17 12:40:01 PM ironballs16
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* A truly memorable subversion in ''WesternAnimation/TitanAE'': Preed, Stith, and Korso are trying to free Akima from a slave prison. They see a large, brutish guard around a corner, and Stith offers to take him out. Preed refuses, saying, "This requires cunning and deception." They then walk up to the guard, and Preed spins a tale that he and Stith are traders, and that Korso is his slave. After delivering his story, the guard says these exact things: "You're ''lying''. ''He's'' [Korso] not a slave and ''you're'' not traders. Look at the way he ''stands''. He doesn't ''carry'' himself like a slave. Probably ''ex-military''." (Korso is a former Earth SpaceMarine.) "Akrennians [like Preed] always threaten before asking a favor, ''it's tradition''." (Which Preed apparently ''completely'' forgot.) "And ''your'' [Stith] robes are made out of ''bedspreads!''" Preed then asks if they have a Plan B. Stith promptly reverts to her Plan A by kicking the crap out of the guard.
-->'''Preed:''' An intelligent guard! Didn't see that one coming.

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* A truly memorable subversion in ''WesternAnimation/TitanAE'': Preed, Stith, and Korso are trying to free Akima from a slave prison. They see a large, brutish guard around a corner, and Stith offers to take him out. Preed refuses, saying, "This requires cunning and deception." They then walk up to the guard, and Preed spins a tale that he and Stith are traders, and that Korso is his slave. the slave they're looking to sell. After delivering his story, the guard says these exact things: "You're we have this exchange.
-->'''Guard''': You're
''lying''. ''He's'' [Korso] not a slave and ''you're'' not traders. Look at the way he ''stands''. stands. He doesn't ''carry'' carry himself like a slave. slave! Probably ''ex-military''." (Korso ex-military.[[note]]Korso is a former Earth SpaceMarine.) "Akrennians [like Preed] SpaceMarine[[/note]] Akrennians always threaten before asking a favor, ''it's tradition''." (Which Preed apparently ''completely'' forgot.) "And tradition''. And ''your'' [Stith] robes are made out of ''bedspreads!''" Preed then asks if they have a Plan B. Stith promptly reverts to her Plan A by kicking the crap out of the guard.
''bedspreads!''
-->'''Preed:''' Er, do we have a 'Plan B'? (''Stith knocks the guard out with a powerful kick'') An intelligent guard! Didn't see that one coming.
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