History Main / TheGuardsMustBeCrazy

6th Feb '17 6:04:33 AM thatother1dude
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** Played with in "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. ''Turns out that since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library so the guards were just ignoring her.''
** And played straight during "A Bird in the Hoof" -- where a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) managed to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they were putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.
** In fact, it's played straight throughout the series, almost to the point of parody. The Season 2 Finale, for instance, has the entire Royal Guard up and under arms because they were tipped off that something bad ''was'' going to happen. But when it did happen, they were apparently still surprised enough to be overrun without putting up as much as a fight. Let's just face it: [[MilitariesAreUseless these guys do not do good at their job.]]

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** Played with in "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. ''Turns out that since Since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library so the library--the guards were just ignoring her.''
''ignoring'' her.
** And played straight during During "A Bird in the Hoof" -- where Hoof", a ''pet phoenix'', dying of old age (therefore incredibly obvious because featherless) managed to trick Celestia's own PraetorianGuard ''while they were putting up Wanted posters with that bird's face on''. Twilight and Fluttershy aren't any better.
** In fact, it's played straight throughout the series, almost to the point of parody. The Season 2 Finale, for instance, Finale has the entire Royal Guard up and under arms because they were tipped off that something bad ''was'' going to happen. But when it did happen, they were apparently still surprised enough to be overrun without putting up as much as a fight. Let's just face it: [[MilitariesAreUseless these guys do not do good at their job.]]
3rd Feb '17 1:22:39 PM SeptimusHeap
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* ''Literature/WetDesertTrackingDownATerroristOnTheColoradoRiver'': The chief of security at Glen Canyon Dam has an outburst when he is told that a security guard let the bomber in without confirming that the supposed elevator maintenance guy was in fact an elevator maintenance guy.
20th Jan '17 3:07:41 PM gb00393
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* ''Series/GameOfThrones''. Subverted with Mord, a turnkey who's so thick that Tyrion Lannister, from the richest family in the Seven Kingdoms, can't even bribe his way out.

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* ''Series/GameOfThrones''. ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
**
Subverted with Mord, a turnkey who's so thick that Tyrion Lannister, from the richest family in the Seven Kingdoms, can't even bribe his way out.


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** Jaime Lannister manages to escape by baiting the only guard by killing his cellmate.
** Averted by Brienne, who insists on keeping the talking to a minimum and watching Jaime take a piss. She eventually makes the mistake of getting too close, but it takes weeks.
12th Jan '17 12:40:01 PM ironballs16
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* A truly memorable subversion in ''WesternAnimation/TitanAE'': Preed, Stith, and Korso are trying to free Akima from a slave prison. They see a large, brutish guard around a corner, and Stith offers to take him out. Preed refuses, saying, "This requires cunning and deception." They then walk up to the guard, and Preed spins a tale that he and Stith are traders, and that Korso is his slave. After delivering his story, the guard says these exact things: "You're ''lying''. ''He's'' [Korso] not a slave and ''you're'' not traders. Look at the way he ''stands''. He doesn't ''carry'' himself like a slave. Probably ''ex-military''." (Korso is a former Earth SpaceMarine.) "Akrennians [like Preed] always threaten before asking a favor, ''it's tradition''." (Which Preed apparently ''completely'' forgot.) "And ''your'' [Stith] robes are made out of ''bedspreads!''" Preed then asks if they have a Plan B. Stith promptly reverts to her Plan A by kicking the crap out of the guard.
-->'''Preed:''' An intelligent guard! Didn't see that one coming.

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* A truly memorable subversion in ''WesternAnimation/TitanAE'': Preed, Stith, and Korso are trying to free Akima from a slave prison. They see a large, brutish guard around a corner, and Stith offers to take him out. Preed refuses, saying, "This requires cunning and deception." They then walk up to the guard, and Preed spins a tale that he and Stith are traders, and that Korso is his slave. the slave they're looking to sell. After delivering his story, the guard says these exact things: "You're we have this exchange.
-->'''Guard''': You're
''lying''. ''He's'' [Korso] not a slave and ''you're'' not traders. Look at the way he ''stands''. stands. He doesn't ''carry'' carry himself like a slave. slave! Probably ''ex-military''." (Korso ex-military.[[note]]Korso is a former Earth SpaceMarine.) "Akrennians [like Preed] SpaceMarine[[/note]] Akrennians always threaten before asking a favor, ''it's tradition''." (Which Preed apparently ''completely'' forgot.) "And tradition''. And ''your'' [Stith] robes are made out of ''bedspreads!''" Preed then asks if they have a Plan B. Stith promptly reverts to her Plan A by kicking the crap out of the guard.
''bedspreads!''
-->'''Preed:''' Er, do we have a 'Plan B'? (''Stith knocks the guard out with a powerful kick'') An intelligent guard! Didn't see that one coming.
25th Dec '16 4:30:37 PM Morgenthaler
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* In ''Webcomic/GetMedieval'', Torquel Hane pulled free of his chains (by [[BadAss dislocating his thumbs]]); when a guard came to investigate his cry of pain, Torquel distracted him by pointing his obviously unchained hand and saying ''another'' prisoner had escaped. The guard [[TooDumbToLive turned to look]], and CLUNK!

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* In ''Webcomic/GetMedieval'', Torquel Hane pulled free of his chains (by [[BadAss dislocating his thumbs]]); thumbs); when a guard came to investigate his cry of pain, Torquel distracted him by pointing his obviously unchained hand and saying ''another'' prisoner had escaped. The guard [[TooDumbToLive turned to look]], and CLUNK!
11th Dec '16 6:05:43 PM DesmanaMoschata
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*** Border Guard (KGB) maybe. Air Defense (Army)? Not so much, if only due to the fact that a) nobody liked KGB that much and b) Air Defense troops had their own day to get drunk, thank you very much.
** Far as I can remember, they have identified the aircraft pretty soon, but there were a couple of obstacles to just downing it. First there was the fear that the superiors won't be pleased with their sloppiness. And then that was Gorbachev's era, so downing a small obviously civil airplane would make Gorbachev really angry (remember, he was trying to establish normal relations with the West). Downing some random guy would make the relations a wee bit strained.
11th Dec '16 11:02:23 AM MooG
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* An inability to connect the man in front of you with the one you are chasing as, although they have the same height, build, appearance, outfit and ethnicity, the one you are chasing was not wearing a hat.
11th Dec '16 10:22:52 AM Harem-author
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** In both "Night at the Museum" movies, it's more like "the museum administrators must be crazy." Larry's initiation involves being given a rule book, a uniform, a brief tour by his predecessor, and a small note of rather unusual instructions, and then being left to his own devices, with no backup. If it weren't for the army of AnimateInanimateObjects, he would have been completely helpless when the inevitable robbery occurs. His British counterpart in the second movie has it even worse. While she ''is'' quite competent, and did go entirely by the rule book, the closest thing she has to a weapon, is a hammer she brings from home while Larry at least has a night-stick, a flashlight, and pepper spray. Like Larry, she also has no backup, except a long, complicated phone number to call, and then only when she's absolutely certain things have escalated to a point that she can't possibly handle it by herself. As graphically shown, this puts her completely at the mercy of any determined or marginally competent group of thieves, criminals, or malcontents intending to do her or the museum harm. She lampshades that she's starved for conversation because she doesn't have co-workers at the job.
9th Dec '16 4:32:17 AM Morgenthaler
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* Averted in the first ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyTVSpecials My Little Pony]]'' special. Tirac's guards are good at their jobs. They spot Megan and the ponies slipping in, and use smart tactics against the group. However, the heroes are {{Badass}} enough to win anyway.

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* Averted in the first ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyTVSpecials My Little Pony]]'' special. Tirac's guards are good at their jobs. They spot Megan and the ponies slipping in, and use smart tactics against the group. However, the heroes are {{Badass}} badass enough to win anyway.
7th Dec '16 3:03:39 PM FuriKuri
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[[folder:Music]]
* ''Music/{{Periphery}}'': Averted in the song title "The Gods Must Be Crazy".
[[/folder]]
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.TheGuardsMustBeCrazy