History Main / MillsAndBoonProse

This is becoming rare in real romances, which are beginning to eschew floweriness for prose that's either [[DarkerAndEdgier more direct, even crass,]] or else naturalist, down-to-earth, and maybe even funny. However, Mills and Boon Prose lives on in parodies, often used to invoke InnocentInnuendo. It also occurs in {{fictional document}}s as a form of StylisticSuck. Can involve AnatomicallyImpossibleSex. If a character uses this trope in first-person narration, that goes under ThinksLikeARomanceNovel.

The traditional way of handling sex in a RomanceNovel; PurpleProse to IKEAErotica's BeigeProse. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown metaphors - while emotions are described in excessive, abstract PurpleProse. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''they'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when [[TheBodyPartsThatMustNotBeNamed abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia]].

* The sex scenes between Claire and Adam in ''The Watermelon'' by Creator/MarianKeyes.

* ''Fanfic/{{Stray}}'' uses a variation of this. There are no throbbing manhoods or heaving bosoms, but the first sex scene includes at least two separate extended metaphors for the POV character's emotional state.

-->-- [[Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic Irregular Podcast! #13]], "The Complete Works of Western Literature"

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This is becoming rare in real romances, which are beginning to eschew floweriness for [[DarkerAndEdgier harder-edged]] (and sometimes downright vulgar) prose. However, Mills and Boon Prose lives on in parodies, often used to invoke InnocentInnuendo. It also occurs in {{fictional document}}s as a form of StylisticSuck. Can involve AnatomicallyImpossibleSex. If a character uses this trope in first-person narration, that goes under ThinksLikeARomanceNovel.

* ''LightNovel/{{R15}}'': The protagonist is a porn writer. He does this often, [[MostWritersAreWriters in a light novel that does this just as often]].

* {{Exaggerated|Trope}} InUniverse in ''LightNovel/AscendanceOfABookworm'': Like many aspects of noble society, Ehrenfest's romance novels are laden in implication and euphemism, with ''any'' sort of intimacy resulting in the story [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment suddenly getting so abstract and surreal that Myne can't even tell what's going on]] (she compares the writing style to that of UsefulNotes/{{Bollywood}} musicals). When Myne tries to write a romance novel of her own, Ferdinand blasts it as "degenerate filth" and bans her from ever publishing it... because she was bold enough to directly describe the characters ''touching'' each other.

* ''LightNovel/R15'': The protagonist is a porn writer. He does this often, [[MostWritersAreWriters in a light novel that does this just as often]].

* ''LightNovel/{{R 15}}'': The protagonist is a porn writer. He does this often, [[MostWritersAreWriters in a light novel that does this just as often]].

[[folder:Fan Fic]]
* ''FanFic/{{Stray}}'' uses a variation of this. There are no throbbing manhoods or heaving bosoms, but the first sex scene includes at least two separate extended metaphors for the POV character's emotional state.

* ''FanFic/SpacedustAndChaosARequiem''. There's shagging going on but [[PurpleProse it's kind of hard to tell]].

* Every single line of ''FanFic/MyInnerLife'' that is not BeigeProse or CostumePorn.

* An early episode of ''Series/{{Friends}}'' has Rachel attempt to write some ("Do you think his 'love stick' can be liberated from its 'denim prison'?"), inspired by Chandler's mother, who writes them professionally. [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Luckily for the broadcasters]], she's a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin terrible speller]] so the others can openly mock her typos; the female character is apparently in possession of "heaving beasts", while the man at one point whips out his "huge throbbing pens".

* ''Fanfic/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen'': MANCARROT. Which is ''still'' a nicer choice of words than calling Edward's penis a "throbbing lavender man-fruit thing" and Jacob's a ""horrible wet mushroom"!

The traditional way of handling sex in a RomanceNovel; PurpleProse to IKEAErotica's BeigeProse. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown metaphors - while emotions are described in excessive, abstract PurpleProse. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''they'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia.