History Main / IceCreamKoan

->"Any sufficiently advanced riddle is indistinguishable from gibberish."

-->''Huu'': Pants are an illusion, and so is death.

-->'''Zuko-as-Iroh:''' Zuko, you have to [[JourneyToTheCenterOfTheMind look within yourself]] to save [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold yourself]] from your [[EnemyWithin other]] [[InTheBlood self]]. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Only then will your true self reveal itself]].
-->''Zuko:'' Ugh, even when I'm talking for him I can't figure out what he means.

''Sokka:'' Maybe we haven't failed after all!\\
''Zuko:'' That's the spirit. I can't believe that worked. I didn't know what I was saying.\\
''Sokka:'' No, what you said didn't make sense at all.

** The above becomes HilariousInHindsight when it was revealed that [[Creator/PeterCapaldi the guy who played Lucius]] will soon be playing [[TheNthDoctor the Twelfth Doctor]].

* {{Raocow}} would sometimes say seemingly political or controversial ''sounding'' phrases in his Lets Play[='=]s that might just actually be meaningful and insightful. But if you think of it for a while, you will realize that it's just a plain NonSequitur.

* ''HomeImprovement'': Tim Taylor was always accidentally inventing these, taking Wilson's wisdom and misquoting it later on in the show as mangled but humorous gibberish. An example: when his faulty memory turns a quote from Mark Twain about several randomly assorted people being put together amounting to "the sum of their fears" when it sounds more to him like the Village People playing poker, into the following advice for his son: "You know Mark Twain? Scared to death of the Village People."

* A few BurmaShave ads engaged in this, especially since the format lent itself quite well to it.

* Xaero from ''{{Quake}} III Arena'' spoke almost entirely in {{Ice Cream Koan}}s.

->If you have ice cream, I will give it to you. If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you. It is an [[TitleDrop Ice]] [[TropeNamer Cream]] [[IncrediblyLamePun Koan]].

* ''[[ComicBook/MalibuComicsStreetFighter Street Fighter]]'' gives us "Once you were like this stream...laughing, flowing around life. Now you are like this tree--strong, flexible...but yet rooted in your obsession."

--->'''Sphinx:''' If you do not master your rage...\\
'''Furious:''' [cutting him off] Your rage will become your master?\\
'''Sphinx:''' ...\\
'''Furious:''' That's what you were going to say, right?\\
'''Sphinx:''' ... Not necessarily.

* The Martian ambassador's speech in ''MarsAttacks'' ends with one of these. "...For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest." Neatly [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by Rod Steiger's [[GeneralRipper character]]: "What the HELL does that mean?!"

'''G'Kar'': ''[long explanation]''\\
'''Follower''': Ah... ''yes''... but, what is truth? And what is God?\\
'''G'Kar''': ''[sighs]'' Truth is... ''[throws up his hands in exasperation]'' a river.\\
'''Follower''': Ah, yes! And what is God?\\
'''G'Kar''': God is... the mouth of the river.

-->'''Lucius:''' A name is but a cloud upon a summer wind!
-->'''Doctor:''' But the wind is felt most keenly in the dark.
-->'''Lucius:''' But what is the dark other than an omen of the sun?

-->'''Deangelo:''' Maybe I just need to look into my heart. Deangelo, where is Michael Scott?
-->'''Michael:''' I am here, in a good way. I've been here the whole time.
-->'''Oscar:''' The analytical part of me wants to examine it. But I know it has no content.

-->'''Father Jim''': When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade. When I ask someone for a glass of water and they give me a glass of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle and then pretend I'm the king. If somebody throws a rock at my head, I pretend that the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor and ran a sweatshop in Singapore . . . I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life.

-->'''Max:''' Life is like a shirt. If you lose your buttons...no. I know: Life is like a sheet!
-->'''99:''' (waiting) Yes?
-->'''Max:''' Why? Isn't life like a sheet?

--> Elbonian A: "The holy scrolls said a dog will fall from the sky. ... Actually, they say 'never shave your duck,' but it's not literal. You have to interpret it."
--> Elbonian B: "You mean I CAN shave my duck?!"

--> "If a tree falls in a forest, and it hits a mime, does anybody care?"

-->''"And so, as the hunter of time blasts the moose of eternity, and the dairy counter worker of fate sighs and grabs her mop, I notice it's the end of the show"''; and
-->''"And so, as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show"''

-->''Two penguins are sitting on an iceberg, when turns to the other and says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." [[http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2555726 The first penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"]]

--->'''Snake''': ''What do pre-ripped jeans have to do with the natural order of things?''

-->'''Herman:''' Exactly. Now, what has this experience taught you?
-->'''Guybrush:''' [[SpoofAesop That philosophy isn't worth my time.]]
-->'''Herman:''' I'm very impressed! It takes most people years to reach this point. [[WhenYouSnatchThePebble You have learned all that you can from me. Go forth into the world with confidence.]]

-->Doc Louis: "Y'see, a comeback is like a yo-yo. You goin' down, but you're comin' right back up! And then you may end up walkin' the dog."

-->'''Viconia''': If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone ''care?''

--> Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you!

-->'''Cho:''' I'm reminded of a wise saying I once heard about nomadic palm trees...
-->'''Cho:''' The loaf of bread that tries to twist its fate is not a loaf at all, but is, in fact, a pretzel.
-->'''Cho:''' ...and the greatest of these it the ostrich. (actually, we only got the end of that one, but considering the look on the inn hostess' face, we can assume it was a doozy).

--> "If a coffee machine passes a baseball bat in the forest, and the only one to see it is a mime, what does he tell the police?"

-->A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.
-->Knight[[note]]Tom Knight; senior research scientist and computer science god[[/note]], seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."
-->Knight turned the machine off and on.
-->The machine worked.

-->'''Question''': If a ninja kills a man in the forest and there's no one else there, does he make a sound?
-->'''Answer''': If a ninja does anything, ''anywhere'', he doesn't make a sound. HE'S A NINJA!

-->'''Amir''': You Americans are all the same. You sacrifice so much for your freedom, but was it... how you say... sacrificed for you?
-->'''Dan''': That sounded poetic, but made no sense!

-->'''Ninja''': Ninjas do wrong to each other sometimes, and in that way, the force of the earth comes around the moon, and at that presence, the dirt, it overshadows the grass, so you like "I can't cut this grass; there's no sun coming through." So in order to enable each other, the two fruits have to look each other in the eye, understand we can only be ripe as the ripe is wrong. You know what I mean?

-->'''Huu''': Pants are an illusion, and so is death.

-->'''Zuko:''' Ugh, even when I'm talking for him I can't figure out what he means.

-->'''Zuko:''' Ugh, what would Uncle say?... Sometimes clouds have two sides, a dark and light, and a silver lining in between. It's like a silver sandwich! So when life seems hard, just take a bite out of the silver sandwich.
-->'''Sokka:''' Maybe we haven't failed after all!
-->'''Zuko:''' That's the spirit. I can't believe that worked. I didn't know what I was saying.
-->'''Sokka:''' No, what you said didn't make sense at all.

-->'''Luminara Unduli''': The crystal is the heart of the blade. The heart is the crystal of the Jedi. The Jedi is the crystal of the Force. The Force is the blade of the heart. All are intertwined: the crystal, the blade, the Jedi. You are one.

-->'''Tart-Toter:''' This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively... but if sweetness can win—and it ''can''—then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace!

-->'''Dad:''' Brak, love is a word that once spoken to a woman can not be retracted, because they tend to remember that word, and they often marry you for it. (takes a long drag from a cigarette) Ah... next thing you know, you take exit 42B, turn left to go .2 miles for the best chicken biscuits in town, and all because the best shoes from the best shoe designers are always 30% off.
-->'''Brak:''' what does that mean dad?
-->'''Dad:''' It means, "Turn your house into cash."

-->'''Lisa:''' look at the wonders of technology now!
-->'''Homer:''' Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?
-->'''Lisa:''' (surprised) Dad.. I think that was implied by what I said.
-->'''Homer:''' Implied, Lisa, Or implode...

-->'''Homer:''' Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie, and one to listen.

->''"Any sufficiently advanced riddle is indistinguishable from gibberish."''
-->-- '''{{Erfworld}}'''

->''If you have ice cream, I will give it to you. If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you. It is an [[TitleDrop Ice]] [[TropeNamer Cream]] [[IncrediblyLamePun Koan]].

--> Even in a hurry\\

Do not let it slip away\\\
...The slippery mushroom.

'''Sphinx:''' ...Not necessarily.

-->"When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the line of darkness. Whether they are clean or not.
-->"Do. Not. Be. That. Rabbit."

-->'''ChosenOne''': What is this EvilCouncil everyone speaks of?
-->'''Mu Shu Fasa''': The answer you seek lies in the stars above.
-->'''ChosenOne''': I don't understand.
-->'''Mu Shu Fasa''': Of course you don't, I'm speaking in riddles. That's kind of the point. Like, a clue that will later make you go "Oh ''that's'' what he meant! Stars Above!"

-->'''Brother Silence:''' He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who... sticks out in darkness... is... fluorescent!
-->'''{{Beat}}'''
-->'''DM:''' ...Lose 50 experience.

-->'''Kirk:''' "I don't read the script, the script reads me."
-->'''Kevin:''' (Beat) "What the hell does that even mean?"

-->Butters: "Time is a River. Life is a Journey. The Door is a Jar."

-->'''Maya:''' Queen Aquamarisha, ''dreams are the touch stones of our character.'' [emphasis from the original]

** Also lampshaded when the narration mentions the hobbits standing around trying to work out if they had been insulted. (The Sackville-Bagginses [[StealthInsult probably had been]].)

-->"When casting pebbles into water, look at the ripples being formed thereby. Otherwise this activity will be an empty amusement."
-->"Where is the beginning of the end that comes at the end of the beginning?"
-->"Snap a mare on the nose and she will flap her tail."
-->"Young girls are much like checkerpieces; every one wants to become a lady, but not every one succeeds".[[note]]In Russian, the checkers king is called "damka", which means "a little lady".[[/note]]
* Kaz Cooke's ''Little Book of Crap'' consists entirely of statements like "He who goes about exultant and boastful in thongs will [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe indulgeth]] a bull ant before long".

--> Vollys: "What I adore about the best of them is that they almost mean something!"

-->'''Partner:''' Well, anyway, we solved the case. I guess that's what really matters.\\
'''Frank:''' Well.. did we solve the case? Or.. did the case solve us?

---> '''"Oma"''': ''You control the barrier between your consciousness and what you seek. You merely need to open your mind. The truth is, all knowledge, everything that is and was and will be, is everywhere ? out there, and in all of us.''
---> '''Daniel''': ''If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago.''
---> '''"Oma"''': ''Yes.''
---> '''Daniel''': ''No. You're trying to understand it, aren't you?''
---> '''"Oma"''': ''It means what you want it to mean.''
---> '''Daniel''': ''No it doesn't. And you're not Oma.''
---> ("Oma" morphs into Replicarter)
---> '''Replicarter''': ''No, I'm not, but it doesn't matter. Thanks to you, I found what I was looking for.''

---> '''"Oma"''': ''If you are seeking an absolute truth, you will not find it. Only truth that applies to you.''
---> '''Daniel''': ''...That is so extremely unhelpful.''

--->'''Shifu:''' If the instrument is broken, then the music will be sour.
--->'''Daniel:''' The music does not play the musician.
--->'''Shifu:''' Normally, there is truth in that.
--->'''Daniel:''' That's good, because I have no idea what I was talking about.

-->'''Follower''': What is truth? And what is God?\\
'''G'Kar''': ''[long explanation]''\\

* ''TheMightyBoosh'' is fond of playing with these. "We all dream... but do we really dream?" and from the radio, "if you look at a pebble, you will see your own face!" is Howard's scornful example of Rudy Monchego's "simple rustic wisdom"

** Does a bridge go over a river? Or does the river go under the bridge? ([[MathematiciansAnswer Yes]])

-->'''Cho:''' ...and the greatest of these it the ostrich. (actually, we only got the end of that one, but considering the look on the inn hostess' face, we can assume it was a doozy)

* ''BobAndGeorge'': [[http://www.bobandgeorge.com/archives/020310 That is the price you pay for playing Monopoly with an eskimo of the night]]

-->A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.
-->Knight[[note]]Tom Knight; senior research scientist and computer science god[[/note]], seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."
-->Knight turned the machine off and on.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' plays with this for laughs in a horror special. When every computer on earth crashes (Homer's fault, of course) leading to an apocalypse, Homer appears to be lampshading Lisa's sarcasm, but then turns out to be this

-->'''Lisa:''' (surprised) Dad.. I think that was implied by what I said
-->'''Homer:''' Implied, Lisa, Or implode....

** Played straight ''and'' subverted in an early episode featuring Lisa trying to teach Bart Buddhist philosophy. When she asks him: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" [[ComicallyMissingThePoint he repeatedly curls up his hand so that his fingers smack the bottom of his palm, making a miniaturized clapping sound]].

Compare MistakenForProfound, SeeminglyProfoundFool, WhenIsPurple. Compare ''and'' contrast ShaggyFrogStory. Related to TrueArtIsIncomprehensible. Has nothing to do with actual Ice Cream, Manga/SailorMoon Character or [[ShatteredAngels the absolute angel]].

Something that looks like a {{Koan}}, walks like a koan, quacks like a koan, but lacks... [[FauxSymbolism substance.]] [[CrypticConversation It sounds meaningful at first]], but [[FridgeLogic after you think a moment]], instead of getting some rush of insight, you realize that it is [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords nothing more than nonsense]], or just a joke dressed up in profundity's hand-me-downs. Like ice cream itself, it looks good and tastes good, but is ultimately just empty calories.

Something that looks like a {{Koan}}, walks like a koan, quacks like a koan, but lacks... [[FauxSymbolism substance.]] [[CrypticConversation It sounds meaningful at first]], but [[FridgeLogic after you think a moment]], instead of getting some rush of insight, you realize that it is [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords nothing more than nonsense]], or just a joke dressed up in profundity's hand-me-downs.

->''If you have ice cream, I will give it to you. If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you. It is an [[TitleDrop Ice]][[TropeNamer Cream]][[IncrediblyLamePun Koan]].