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** In response, Tim and his coworkers also came up with their own test where they compared wives to hockey equipment; choices included a hockey mask ("Wiry and closed off"), a stick ("Long, rigid, and likes to hit things"), elbow pads ("Soft, flexible, and a good housekeeper" -- when Jill questioned the "good housekeeper" part, Tim responded [[IncrediblyLamePun "Takes care of the joint"]]), and a jock strap ("Gets in the way a lot, but basically supportive").

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** In response, Tim and his coworkers also came up with their own test where they compared wives to hockey equipment; choices included a hockey mask ("Wiry and closed off"), a stick ("Long, rigid, and likes to hit things"), elbow pads ("Soft, flexible, and a good housekeeper" -- when Jill questioned the "good housekeeper" part, Tim responded [[IncrediblyLamePun [[{{Pun}} "Takes care of the joint"]]), and a jock strap ("Gets in the way a lot, but basically supportive").
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* Less disturbing, but still saucy:
** "I like my men/women like I like my books: [[BrainsAndBondage well-read, and leather-bound]]."
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* An inversion of this trope from the Scenes From A Hat game on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' is "Things you can say about your X, but not your girlfriend". Popular versions are "car/truck" ("Yeah, you could fit twenty in there!") or "dog", which results in an epic, single-word instance of GettingCrapPastTheRadar: [[spoiler:"Come."]]

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* An inversion of this trope from the Scenes From A Hat game on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' is "Things you can say about your X, but not your girlfriend". Popular versions are "car/truck" ("Yeah, you could fit twenty in there!") or "dog", which results in an epic, single-word instance of GettingCrapPastTheRadar: [[spoiler:"Come."]]
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* In the [[BrotherSisterIncest Elsanna]] ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'' story [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/4843880 Bilingual]], [[Disney/{{Hercules}} Megara]] says “And I like my coffee the way I like my women: bitter, and keeping me up at night.”

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* In the [[BrotherSisterIncest Elsanna]] ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'' ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}'' story [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/4843880 Bilingual]], [[Disney/{{Hercules}} [[WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}} Megara]] says “And I like my coffee the way I like my women: bitter, and keeping me up at night.”
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* Seen on the internet: "I like my coffee like I like my women: without a penis."

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* ''Series/HomeImprovement'' did a bunch of these in an episode concerning magazine compatibility tests. For example, in a question comparing husbands to kitchen appliances, Jill said Tim was most like a tea kettle: "Hot and steamy, done in two minutes" (adding that he does "whistle when he's done"). Tim and his friends also came up with their own test, with one question comparing wives to hockey equipment; choices included a stick ("Long, skinny, and likes to hit things"), elbow pads (A good housekeeper - "Takes care of the joint"), and a jock strap ("Gets in the way a lot, but basically supportive").

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* ''Series/HomeImprovement'' did a bunch of these in an episode concerning magazine compatibility tests. For example, in tests.
** Jill and some other women wrote
a test for their magazine, with one question comparing husbands to kitchen appliances, Jill said Tim was most like appliances: an oven ("warm and self-cleaning"), a garbage disposal ("grating and eats anything"), a refrigerator ("very cold and the light's never on"), and a tea kettle: "Hot kettle ("Hot and steamy, done in two minutes" (adding minutes"). Jill chose that last one for Tim and added a quip that he does "whistle when he's done"). done".
** In response,
Tim and his friends coworkers also came up with their own test, with one question comparing test where they compared wives to hockey equipment; choices included a hockey mask ("Wiry and closed off"), a stick ("Long, skinny, rigid, and likes to hit things"), elbow pads (A ("Soft, flexible, and a good housekeeper - housekeeper" -- when Jill questioned the "good housekeeper" part, Tim responded [[IncrediblyLamePun "Takes care of the joint"), joint"]]), and a jock strap ("Gets in the way a lot, but basically supportive").



* While preparing to work all night on a case, Quentin Welcher (of ''WelcherAndWelcher'') - apropos of nothing - asked for his coffee "black; like my women".

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* While preparing to work all night on a case, Quentin Welcher (of ''WelcherAndWelcher'') ''Welcher and Welcher'') - apropos of nothing - asked for his coffee "black; like my women".
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-->I like my coffee like I like my [[Film/StarWars Death Stars]]... gigantic, on the dark side and powerful enough to destroy a planet.

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-->I like my coffee like I like my [[Film/StarWars [[Franchise/StarWars Death Stars]]... gigantic, on the dark side and powerful enough to destroy a planet.
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** "I like my women like I like my wine: twelve years old and imported in a burlap sack."

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** "I like my women like I like my wine: twelve years old and old, imported in a burlap sack.sacks, and locked in my basement."
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* In the [[BrotherSisterIncest Elsanna]] ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'' story [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/4843880 Bilingual]], [[Disney/{{Hercules}} Megara]] says “And I like my coffee the way I like my women: bitter, and keeping me up at night.”
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* There's an image macro that runs:
-->I like my coffee like I like my [[Film/StarWars Death Stars]]... gigantic, on the dark side and powerful enough to destroy a planet.
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* "I like my women like I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer."
* "I like my women like I like my coffee: Used to smuggle drugs from Colombia."

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* Some straight-up disturbing ones:
**
"I like my women like I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer."
* ** "I like my women like I like my coffee: Used to smuggle drugs from Colombia."
** "I like my women like I like my whiskey: twelve years old and mixed up with coke."
** "I like my women like I like my wine: twelve years old and imported in a burlap sack.
"
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How To Write An Example - Don't Write Reviews


-->'''Prosecutor:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny I'll admit, it was a good plan,]] but it has one fatal flaw... You see, I like my coffee the way I like my woman... [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome BLACK!!!]]

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-->'''Prosecutor:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny I'll admit, it was a good plan,]] but it has one fatal flaw... You see, I like my coffee the way I like my woman... [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome BLACK!!!]]BLACK!!!
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* Variation by talk show host Bill Maher regarding whether it's necessary to report when a bomb goes off in Iraq; "Let's just assume that Iraq is like Creator/LindsayLohan; [[TakeThat getting bombed daily!]]"

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* Variation by talk show host Bill Maher regarding whether it's necessary to report when a bomb goes off in Iraq; "Let's just assume that Iraq is like Creator/LindsayLohan; [[TakeThat [[HardDrinkingPartyGirl getting bombed daily!]]"
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[[folder:Anime]]
* ''Anime/DirtyPair: Project Eden'': Inverted(?) as Carson is warning his boss of the negatives of the things he likes:
--> '''Boss:''' After this, we'll be swimming in wine and women.
--> '''Carson:''' I find I have to be careful of the cheaper varieties of wine ''and'' women. Both give me a headache.
[[/folder]]
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Spelling Fix


* From the producers of ''WHose line'', ''Series/MockTheWeek'' often goes into this.

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* From the producers of ''WHose ''Whose line'', ''Series/MockTheWeek'' often goes into this.
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* From the producers of ''WHose line'', ''Series/MockTheWeek'' often goes into this.
-->I like my women like I like my coffee - always getting my name wrong.\\
I shoot my gun like I shoot my load - into my hand.
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* In the movie ''Film/{{Clue}}'', Mrs. White says, "Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong, and disposable."

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* In the movie ''Film/{{Clue}}'', [[BlackWidow Mrs. White White]] says, "Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong, and disposable."
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* ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'''s Competitive Mode has a rare chance of The Spy giving some at the start of a match:
-->''I like my enemies like I like my wines: I let them breath, for a moment.''\\
''I like my teams like I like my romances: in groups of six.''
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* [[NoelCoward Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.]]

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* [[NoelCoward [[Creator/NoelCoward Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.]]
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* In ''WorldOfWarcraft'', one of the jokes the female dwarves tell is, "I like my ale like I like my men: dark and rich."

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* In ''WorldOfWarcraft'', ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'', one of the jokes the female dwarves tell is, "I like my ale like I like my men: dark and rich."
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See also IfIWantedXIWouldY, XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack.
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* Ellen Degeneres: "I've always said I like my coffee like I like my men. I don't drink coffee."

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* [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100129 One that's sadly cut off]] in ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': "Well, a circuit is like an elegant lady - spot-weld her enough and -"
** "[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20111123 I like my coffee]] like I like my women -- [[LoveAtFirstPunch mean]]!"

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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' has used this gag more than once:
**
[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100129 One that's sadly cut off]] in ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': off]]: "Well, a circuit is like an elegant lady - spot-weld her enough and -"
** A FunnyBackgroundEvent has a mug with "[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20111123 I like my coffee]] like I like my women -- [[LoveAtFirstPunch mean]]!"mean]]!"
** [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20160127 Regarding the Incorruptible Library]]:
-->'''Agatha:''' I thought libraries were supposed to be ''quiet''.\\
'''Melissa:''' Ho - they ''also'' say that about ''young ladies'' -\\
'''Jon:''' - but the ''best'' ones rarely are!



* [[http://www.monkeydyne.com/rmcs/dbcomic.phtml?rowid=545 This example]] from the Red Meat Construction Set, a user-created parody of [[Webcomic/RedMeat Red Meat]].

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* [[http://www.monkeydyne.com/rmcs/dbcomic.phtml?rowid=545 This example]] from the Red Meat Construction Set, a user-created parody of [[Webcomic/RedMeat Red Meat]].''Webcomic/RedMeat''.
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* ''VideoGame/Fallout4'': If your affinity with [[IntrepidReporter Piper]] starts going up, she'll sometimes say this when you talk with her:
-->'''Piper''': I like my pistols like I like my company: high caliber. Talking about you, [[AffectionateNickname Blue]].
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* There is a story that Alexandr Naryshkin ([[OlderThanRadio early 19th Century]]) refused to climb some mountain because he preferred to treat mountains like ladies: him at their feet.
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* Variation by talk show host Bill Maher regarding whether it's necessary to report when a bomb goes off in Iraq; "Let's just assume that Iraq is like LindsayLohan; [[TakeThat getting bombed daily!]]"

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* Variation by talk show host Bill Maher regarding whether it's necessary to report when a bomb goes off in Iraq; "Let's just assume that Iraq is like LindsayLohan; Creator/LindsayLohan; [[TakeThat getting bombed daily!]]"
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* From The BloodhoundGang's "Three Point One Four:" "I like my women like I like my cheese / Preferably for me fat-free American singles only"

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* From The BloodhoundGang's Music/BloodhoundGang's "Three Point One Four:" "I like my women like I like my cheese / Preferably for me fat-free American singles only"
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* A couple of bored employees had quite a bit of fun with the [[https://notalwaysworking.com/hasnt-woken-up-and-smelled-their-coffee/37296 women-coffee comparison]].
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* {{Spenser}} interviews a man that cheats a ''lot'', and who comments "Women are like kleenex - use once and discard." When he later mentions this comment to Susan, she is incensed.

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* {{Spenser}} Literature/{{Spenser}} interviews a man that cheats a ''lot'', and who comments "Women are like kleenex - use once and discard." When he later mentions this comment to Susan, she is incensed.
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Page being cut via websites cleanup thread


* Website/BashOrg gives us the litmus test for [[http://www.bash.org/?164094 a channel's racism]].
--> '''<Jaayy>''' BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK!

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