History Main / ICanChangeMyBeloved

* According to WordOfGod from Creator/BobKane, the point behind [[DatingCatwoman the relationship]] between Franchise/{{Batman}} and ComicBook/{{Catwoman}} is that Batman partly thinks he can reform her. And in some continuities (such as Earth-2 of [[ComicBook/CrisisOnInfiniteEarths Pre-Crisis]]), he's actually right. To a lesser extent, this is also true of his other big love, [[MadScientistsBeautifulDaughter Talia Al Ghul.]] Though in that case, it can flip as to who's trying to change who.

* Deconstructed in ''Lou'' (2022). Hannah remained in an abusive relationship for years because she was convinced of this trope, blaming herself because her love wasn't enough to change him. It took her a long time to realise that [[AffablyEvil he was simply evil and what she saw as the good in him was just a facade]].

* ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia'': in one of the spinoffs the girls from Class 1A and 1B organize a SlumberParty. At the behest of Mina, the conversation turned about the boys on their respective classrooms... And the girls immediately arrive to the conclusion none of them are boyfriend material with only to exceptions: [[TokenReligiousTeammate Ibara]], of all the girls, expressing interest in [[HairTriggerTemper Bakugo]] and thinking she can "tame" him. Although she quickly backpedaled when pressed for details. The other one is Ochako who is both kinda glad the girls aren't interested in her crush Izuku and kinda miffed at them dismissing him as an [[TheParagon All Might]] fanboy.

* ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia'': in one of the spinoffs the girls from Class 1A and 1B organize a SlumberParty. At the behest of Mina, the conversation turned about the boys on their respective classrooms... And the girls immediately arrive to the conclusion none of them are boyfriend material with only to exceptions: [[TokenReligiousTeammate Ibara]], of all the girls, expressing interested in [[HairTriggerTemper Bakugo]] and thinking she can "tame" him. Although she quickly backpedaled when pressed for details. The other one is Ochako who is both kinda glad the girls aren't interested in her crush Izuku and kinda miffed at them dismissing him as an [[TheParagon All Might]] fanboy.

* ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia'': in one of the spinoffs the girls from Class 1A and 1B organize a SlumberParty. At the behest of Mina, the conversation turned about the boys on their respective classrooms... And the girls immediately arrive to the conclusion none of them are boyfriend material with only to exceptions: [[TokenReligiousTeammate Ibara]], of all the girls, expressing interesting in [[HairTriggerTemper Bakugo]] and thinking she can "tame" him. Although she quickly backpedaled when pressed for details. The other one is Ochako who is both kinda glad the girls aren't interested in her crush Izuku and kinda miffed at them dismissing him as an All Might fanboy.

* This is why Tina Russo dates WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck in ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow'' and, to her credit, she does bring out Daffy's redeeming qualities more often than most characters.

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!!Examples

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--->'''Lisa''': Well read, and just a little wild. Ohh, if only someone could tame him.\\
'''Bart''': You're right, Lisa, love isn't about fixing someone. I'm just gonna give her up cold turkey. Thanks for the advice.\\
'''Lisa''': ''(non-committal noises)''

* ''Series/{{Degrassi}}'': As there are many forms of featured couples on the show there are the nice main characters, who go for a few "misfit" characters so that they can make them good. Some have multiple examples, such as "cause girl" Emma, Christian girl Darcy, or rebellious high-achiever Alli. Some couples have the trope played straight, some have the partner change but moreso after the couple has broken up, and some avert it ''[[DomesticAbuse hard]]''.

* In the ''Literature/BookOfHosea'', the eponymous Hosea is told by {{God}} to marry a known prostitute, as an object lesson to the people of Israel, who had turned to worshipping other gods, even though they had promised not to. He does as he is told, and marries a woman of ill repute by the name of Gomer. He provides and cares for her, and tries to make a "respectable" wife out of her, but she just won't give up her wanton ways. She even runs off with another man, and Hosea has to literally buy her back from him. [[DeconstructedTrope The marriage is nothing but heartache for Hosea, and likely isn't much better for Gomer]]. And although he would have the right under the law to divorce her, or even have her executed for adultery, he does his best to make the marriage work, if only because {{God}} told him to.

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E7LisasDateWithDensity Lisa's Date With Density]]

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* Trying this trope in real life can have disastrous results. Building a relationship with someone you consider a "fixer-upper" leads to turmoil and resistance from the partner, as they will inevitably feel that they will never be "good enough" for you. For examples of how badly trying this can go, just consult your nearest advice column.
** In the most extreme cases, this can lead to abuse victims maintaining relationships (romantic or otherwise) with their abusers because they believe they can make that person stop abusing them if they try hard enough. In many cases this is partly on the abuser as they [[ManipulativeBastard manipulate the victim]] into seeing them this way.
** The religious version of this trope is known, particularly (and pejoratively) in Christian circles, as "missionary dating" (or "flirt to convert"), in which a believer in a particular religion dates a non-believer with the expectation of [[ConvertingForLove converting that person]]. As with this trope in general, missionary dating is generally regarded as ill-advised.
* Creator/MaeWest was not fond of this trope. As she put it, "Don't marry a man to reform him. That's what reform schools are for."
* On the site [=FMyLife.com=], a few stories have been posted by users who tried to help their romantic partners with certain lifestyle problems, or at least stuck by them while they were working on fixing said problem, only for said partners to [[UngratefulBastard dump them as soon as the problem was resolved]], because "they could do so much better" or "wanted to settle down with someone worthy of [them]".
* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s tagline, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and guaranteed to end badly.
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In cases where Alice does effect a change, then you have LoveRedeems rather than this trope. In a long story arc it can zig-zag: first, I Can Change My Beloved, then switch to Love Redeems... and then, if the authors are cruel, switch ''back'' so that the redemption was [[StatusQuoIsGod just an act or a temporary phase]]. Poor Alice.

[[folder: Anime & Manga]]
* ''Manga/BoysAbyss'' has an increasingly deluded version. Yuri Shibasawa, a demure homeroom teacher, realizes that one of her students (the protagonist Reiji Kurose) is in a toxic family situation and decides to take it upon herself to take him out of it and want to change for the better. The problem? She's also incredibly insecure and decides to start up a sexual relationship with him after learning he had sex with another woman, and wants to do so until he graduates. Her increasing obsession with isolating Reiji and her justifying it with thinking she only wants to help him only puts him off from her entirely.

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* In general, this tend to be a common plot element of many fanfics where a villainous character is being subject of the DracoInLeatherPants treatment.

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* An AwfulWeddedLife couple are arguing (guess the genders):

* In ''Literature/ABrothersPrice'', Jerin's grandfather Alannon apparently succeeded in changing his wives, but they were just a little rough around the edges to begin with, and he mainly taught them proper diction, table manners and so on. And he wasn't delusional enough to do it voluntarily, he was kidnapped by them, they wanted a husband and did everything in their power to make him comfortable. Averted with Jerin himself, who, when considering the prospect of having to marry the Brindle sisters, thinks that he might be able to make some changes to their home to make himself more comfortable, but that he'll still have to live with their personalities.

** In ''Literature/HickoryDickoryDock'', Celia confesses to being behind the recent thefts at the boarding house. This causes psychology student Colin [=McNabb=] to view her as a patient need of psychological treatment... when in fact, it had been suggested to her as the best way to get him interested in her. It works, as they announce their engagement the day she confesses to the thefts. [[spoiler:Then she gets murdered due to SheKnowsTooMuch.]]

-->"Your wife is a charming, innocent, and high minded girl and the only way she is going to get any fun out of being married to you is by thinking she's reformed a rake."
** ''Literature/TheLaboursOfHercules'' has Alice, a psychologist trying to fix an obvious bad-boy by going over his MommyIssues with him. [[spoiler:It's an act, they're both in the drug-smuggling business together.]]

-->It amuses me. It honestly amuses me. People have been waxing lyrical [in letters] about Draco Malfoy, and I think that's the only time when it stopped amusing me and started almost worrying me. I'm trying to clearly distinguish between Creator/TomFelton, who is a good looking young boy, and Draco, who, whatever he looks like, is not a nice man. It's a romantic, but unhealthy, and unfortunately all too common delusion of -- delusion, there you go -- of girls, and you [nods to Melissa] will know this, that they are going to change someone. And that persists through many women's lives, till their death bed, and it is uncomfortable and unhealthy and it actually worried me a little bit, to see young girls swearing undying devotion to this really imperfect character because there must be an element in there, that "I'd be the one who [changes him]." I mean, I understand the psychology of it, but it is pretty unhealthy. So, a couple of times I have written back, possibly quite sharply, saying [Laughter], "You want to rethink your priorities here."

* The two protagonists of Creator/EricFlint's ''[[Literature/JoesWorld The Philosophical Strangler]]'' are the eponymous professional murderer and his more-than-willing accomplice; at the end of the story they are forced by their loved ones to become Professional Heroes instead. (Though it's the strangler's sister who plots the change with the accomplice's ''two'' girlfriends, his {{Cloudcuckoolander}} love interest doesn't appear to give a hoot one way or the other.)

* An episode of the Creator/AdamWest ''Series/{{Batman|1966}}'' series has The Penguin fool a wealthy woman into falling in love with him just so he can earn her trust then rob her. After his scheme is exposed, she is still in love and insists if she were to marry him, she could reform him into a perfect man. Penguin's response? "[[PreferJailToTheProtagonist Take me to prison]]!"

* On ''Series/{{Cheers}}'', Sam and Diane have this attitude toward each other. Sam is a DumbJock who dropped out of high school and former [[UsefulNotes/{{Baseball}} Major League]] baseball star, Diane is a pretentious intellectual studying to get a wide variety of degrees. Being on opposite extremes, Sam is constantly trying to get Diane to loosen up and be more open toward blue-collar activities, Diane is insisting that Sam be more intellectual and take interests in classic literature. The tragic part of the relationship is ''both'' of them make decent efforts to please the other (Diane will take part in the bar's sports talks to an extent, Sam at one point binge-read all of ''Literature/WarAndPeace'' in five days just so he and Diane could have something to talk about), but neither of them is ever satisfied and demand more. Their inability to accept each others' differences is one of the biggest problems in their relationship.

* ''Divorce Court'': Several episodes of both the 1960s and 1980s versions used this as the plot's backbone, invariably following the formula of a woman really wanting to change an alcoholic/drug addict, abuser, criminal etc. of his ways, but he not only refuses to change he becomes worse. The judge would always deliver the message to the wife after finding in her favor: The man she wanted to reform needs professional help and likely will never change even with repeated counseling.

* A common plot to most stories on Website/{{Wattpad}} follow a girl who [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys falls in love with a bad boy]]. The boy is usually manipulative, abusive and has anger issues, but the protagonist will always be there to defend him and say that she knows that there is good in him somewhere. Results of her efforts vary from story to story.

* ''WesternAnimation/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPower'': Scorpia is trying her hardest at this with Catra. It’s not that Catra is a slob or anything, but rather that she’s destructive, temperamental and prone to lashing out, as well as being obsessed with winning over her ex-best-friend Adora. Scorpia seems to think that if she loves Catra up enough, she’ll be able to heal. As of season three, it’s not working out for her. [[spoiler:Come season four, she comes to the realization that Catra is a terrible friend, and leaves the Horde.]]

'''Bart''': You're right Lisa, love isn't about fixing someone. I'm just gonna give her up cold-turkey. Thanks for the advice.\\

** Deconstructed in "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS17E1BonfireOfTheManatees Bonfire of the Manatees]]", were Marge finally realises that she hasn't changed Homer at all and leaves the house, eventually coming across a handsome Manatee biologist named Caleb. Caleb helps Marge to see that Homer is still the man she fell in love with. The problem is that she still expects him to change.

* An AwfulWeddedLife couple are arguing:

* [[DarkChick Diana Ladris]] attempts this in ''PLAGUE'' (book four of the ''Literature/{{GONE}}'' series). And fails miserably, finally giving up and giving [[BigBad Caine]] the middle finger.

* ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' has [[IncrediblyLamePun shades]] of this, though most notably in the ''Darker''. Anastasia has instances where she's thinking that, if she has a 'regular' relationship with Christian, he will eventually denounce his [=BDSM=] ways and want nothing more than 'vanilla sex', as he called it.

* An interesting bit of trivia regarding ''WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug'' is that Adrien was changed from the aloof "bad boy" that he was in the anime sizzle reel to the DoggedNiceGuy that he's in the cartoon out of a decision from the creators that they ''didn't'' want to have Marinette spousing this belief as a part of her relationship with him (and having kids learn this belief, citing it as unrealistic).

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s tagline, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and guaranteed to end badly for both of you.

* In ''Anime/CodeGeass'', [[NaiveEverygirl Shirley]] thinks it's her duty to reform Lelouch because he's a "failure as a person". Since she only sees the BrilliantButLazy RichIdiotWithNoDayJob persona he maintains at school and has no idea what a MagnificentBastard AntiHero he is in his other life, this particular aspect to her romance is either PlayedForLaughs or for tragic {{Irony}}.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s tagline, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avert this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and guaranteed to end badly for both of you.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and guaranteed to end badly for both of you.

* Trying this trope in real life can have disastrous results. Building a relationship with someone you consider a "fixer-upper" leads to turmoil and resistance from the partner, as they will inevitably feel that they will never be "good enough." For examples of how badly trying this can go, just consult your nearest advice column.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair and guaranteed to end badly.