History Main / CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon

25th May '17 3:12:57 AM thespecialneedsgroup
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-->"I will break both of your collarbones, rip them out of your body, and use them to play - in its entirety and ''on your head'' - 'Moby Dick.'\\
"If you wake this baby, I will climb inside you with my shoes on."

to:

-->"I --->'''Lana''':"I will break both of your collarbones, rip them out of your body, and use them to play - in its entirety and ''on your head'' - 'Moby Dick.'[[Music/LedZeppelin Moby Dick]].'\\
'''Lana''': "If you wake this baby, I will climb inside you with my shoes on."
21st May '17 11:41:59 AM nombretomado
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* In the ''ViewAskewniverse'' comic ''Holiday Special'', [[spoiler:Randal urges Dante to give his catatonic ex Caitlyn a "caning", meaning to insert a candy cane into her vagina, in an attempt to break her out of her coma. It works, but she is not happy]]:

to:

* In the ''ViewAskewniverse'' ''Film/TheViewAskewniverse'' comic ''Holiday Special'', [[spoiler:Randal urges Dante to give his catatonic ex Caitlyn a "caning", meaning to insert a candy cane into her vagina, in an attempt to break her out of her coma. It works, but she is not happy]]:
7th May '17 10:45:05 PM Jay2K
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Added DiffLines:

** Dr. Sun actually [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070718#.WRAFQlXyuM8 manages to cow]] [[BloodKnight Bangaldesh]] [[AxCrazy Dupree]] by warning her, "Please refrain from damaging any more of my staff, or else ''I'' will ''personally'' rip off your arms and ''feed'' them to you."
5th May '17 3:53:16 PM Vir
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* In the FreakyFridayFlip episode of ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest'', Hugh gives a [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "Reason You Suck" Speech]] to Bumper while in his son's body, which results in UnstoppableRage and a chase all the way back to the Test household. When Bumper catches up, he has this to say.
-->"TEST!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR FEET '''YOUR''' '''''EARS!!!'''''"



* In the FreakyFridayFlip episode of ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest'', Hugh gives a [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "Reason You Suck" Speech]] to Bumper while in his son's body, which results in UnstoppableRage and a chase all the way back to the Test household. When Bumper catches up, he has this to say.
-->"TEST!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR FEET '''YOUR''' '''''EARS!!!'''''"
5th May '17 3:52:05 PM Vir
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* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/DaveTheBarbarian'' has Dave obtaining a set of gargle pipes (a bagpipes-like instrument) that he uses to spite Candy with its obnoxious sound. She threatens to do something violent to him, but what it is exactly is mostly drowned out and all we can hear is that [[NoodleImplements it involves a fondue fork]].
** In another episode Lula tells Dave "remind me later and I'll do horrible things to you with a cheese grater!"
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' has some sort of security guard crash course instructor who claims he can kill a man with his thumb. [[SchmuckBait He then asks for a volunteer]], and [[TooDumbToLive actually gets one]], who changes his mind when Dilbert [[CaptainObvious points out the obvious]]. Moments later, the instructor [[MadeOfPlasticine accidentally thumbs himself in the neck and dies instantly.]]



* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/DaveTheBarbarian'' has Dave obtaining a set of gargle pipes (a bagpipes-like instrument) that he uses to spite Candy with its obnoxious sound. She threatens to do something violent to him, but what it is exactly is mostly drowned out and all we can hear is that [[NoodleImplements it involves a fondue fork]].
** In another episode Lula tells Dave "remind me later and I'll do horrible things to you with a cheese grater!"
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' has some sort of security guard crash course instructor who claims he can kill a man with his thumb. [[SchmuckBait He then asks for a volunteer]], and [[TooDumbToLive actually gets one]], who changes his mind when Dilbert [[CaptainObvious points out the obvious]]. Moments later, the instructor [[MadeOfPlasticine accidentally thumbs himself in the neck and dies instantly.]]
5th May '17 3:36:20 PM Vir
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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'': Archer does this to Wodehouse all the time:

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'': Archer does this to Wodehouse Woodhouse all the time:



-->"I'm gonna pain you dearly, Wodehouse, when I peel off all your skin with a flencing knife! [[EscalatingPunchline And then sew it into Wodehouse pajamas! And then set those pajamas on fire]]!"

to:

-->"I'm gonna pain you dearly, Wodehouse, Woodhouse, when I peel off all your skin with a flencing knife! [[EscalatingPunchline And then sew it into Wodehouse Woodhouse pajamas! And then set those pajamas on fire]]!"



** There are a few that don't involve Wodehouse. Sterling remarks that, if a pharmacist doesn't tell him where some fake chemotherapy drugs are being warehoused, he will take a knife and slowly insert it into the man's urethra.

to:

** There are a few that don't involve Wodehouse.Woodhouse. Sterling remarks that, if a pharmacist doesn't tell him where some fake chemotherapy drugs are being warehoused, he will take a knife and slowly insert it into the man's urethra.
5th May '17 3:35:22 PM Vir
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%%* The [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer40000}} Angry Marines]]. Please add context before un-commenting.

to:

%%* The [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer40000}} [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 Angry Marines]]. Please add context before un-commenting.



-->"I'm gonna pain you dearly, Wodehouse, when I peel off all your skin with a flencing knife! And then sew it into Wodehouse pajamas! And then set those pajamas on fire!"

to:

-->"I'm gonna pain you dearly, Wodehouse, when I peel off all your skin with a flencing knife! [[EscalatingPunchline And then sew it into Wodehouse pajamas! And then set those pajamas on fire!"fire]]!"
5th May '17 3:34:20 PM Vir
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* On the [[ScoobyDooHoax Ghosts of Sargasso]] episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', [[TheBigGuy Brock Sampson]] acquires a [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms walkie-talkie]] and uses it to threaten the [[GhostPirate "G.P."]] Captain with...
-->"Hey Captain, [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything I've got your key. I hope you're hungry.]] 'Cause I'm gonna feed it to you."
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Sealab 2021}}'', con man Master Loo is being challenged to a fight by one of the main characters when we begins ''[[PowerFloats levitating ]][[PowerGlows and glowing green]]''. He deapans the following:
-->"See the way my body's glowing? Yeah. A lot of people can't do that. Okay, you want some? You want some of the glowing? Look, man, your soul? I'm gonna totally chew on it, and floss with your spirit. I read that somewhere. But I'll do it."
* In ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'', Jack's first opponent in the Dome of Doom, Gordo the Gruesome, is a master of smack talk, and most of his threats follow this pattern. Behold:
-->"I will hang you out like laundry! I will beat you like a drum! I will make your mother cry! I will make your Aunt Edna from Gorfield, south of Barnaby, cry!"
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' example: Some of Moe's reactions to Bart's prank calls qualify for this, e.g. "Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
** "If I find out who this is, I'll nail a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!"
** "Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you! And then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
** When Bart makes a prank call to a Swedish bar, the bartender, in a grim Creator/IngmarBergman parody, merely intones "If I ever find you, I will ''thank you'' for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
** Subverted on another occasion, where Homer enters the family's new horse in a race and declares "If he doesn't win, we're taking a trip to the glue factory... and ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint he won't get to come]]''."
** When Homer gets a job as a tow truck driver, another driver says that if Homer treads on his turf, he'll "Rip off your head, vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, and then stuff them both down your neck-hole, to which I previously alluded."
** Apu fails faking indignation badly: "I'm so angry I could just ... fall asleep!".
** When Lisa finds out Bart has been using his Mr. Microphone to make the entire town think he was Timmy O'toole-in-the-well, she warns him that, once the townspeople find out, they're "going to want to cut you up with rusty razors."
* A GiantMook made the mistake of making a long and nonsensical one to Korgoth in ''WesternAnimation/KorgothOfBarbaria'' after Korgoth had just wiped the floor with the rest of the {{mooks}}. When Korgoth loses patience with the speech, he interrupts by killing the GiantMook [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPXHI2h-K-M&t=0m32s in one of the most absurd/painful ways possible]].
* On ''WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife'', Rocko loses his patience with a supermarket cashier after he misses a big sale by a matter of seconds due to the cashier:
-->'''Filbert''': ''(as the register reads $1.50)'' And your total is... ''(The clock strikes noon, and the total promptly jumps to $150)'' one hundred and fifty dollars. Gee... Looks like you just missed our big sale... Have a nice day...
-->''(Rocko looks on in horror, and after a few seconds, promptly flips the hell out)''\\
'''Rocko''': You ''cheap'' little rotter! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very ''large'' woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I ''still'' beat the twelve o'clock deadline! So if you don't change the total back to a dollar fifty, '''I WILL DO SOMETHING ''NOT NICE!!!!'''''
** The cashier promptly turns it back to $1.50.
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': When Chris asked Stewie if he wanted ice cream, this was his reply:
-->'''Stewie''': Fine, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, ''I shall kill you''.

to:

* On the [[ScoobyDooHoax Ghosts of Sargasso]] episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', [[TheBigGuy Brock Sampson]] acquires a [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms walkie-talkie]] and uses it to threaten the [[GhostPirate "G.P."]] Captain with...
-->"Hey Captain, [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything I've got your key. I hope you're hungry.]] 'Cause I'm gonna feed it to you."
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Sealab 2021}}'', con man Master Loo is being challenged to a fight by
The early-00's ''WesternAnimation/ActionMan'' cartoon did contain one gem of the main characters when we begins ''[[PowerFloats levitating ]][[PowerGlows and glowing green]]''. He deapans the following:
-->"See the way my body's glowing? Yeah. A lot of people can't do that. Okay, you want some? You want some of the glowing? Look, man, your soul? I'm gonna totally chew on it, and floss with your spirit. I read that somewhere. But I'll do it."
* In ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'', Jack's first opponent in the Dome of Doom, Gordo the Gruesome, is
a master of smack talk, and most of his threats follow this pattern. Behold:
-->"I will hang you out like laundry! I will beat you like a drum! I will make your mother cry! I will make your Aunt Edna from Gorfield, south of Barnaby, cry!"
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' example: Some of Moe's reactions to Bart's prank calls qualify for this, e.g. "Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
** "If I find out who this is, I'll nail a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!"
** "Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you! And then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
** When Bart makes a prank call to a Swedish bar, the bartender, in a grim Creator/IngmarBergman parody, merely intones "If I ever find you, I will ''thank you'' for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
** Subverted on another occasion, where Homer enters the family's new horse in a race and declares
line: "If he doesn't win, we're taking a trip to the glue factory... comes back, I'll rip his head off and ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint he won't get to come]]''."
** When Homer gets a job as a tow truck driver, another driver says that if Homer treads
shove it up his nose... Wait, his nose is on his turf, he'll "Rip off your head, vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, and then stuff them both down your neck-hole, to which I previously alluded."
** Apu fails faking indignation badly: "I'm so angry I could just ... fall asleep!".
** When Lisa finds out Bart has been using his Mr. Microphone to make the entire town think he was Timmy O'toole-in-the-well, she warns him that, once the townspeople find out, they're "going to want to cut you up with rusty razors."
* A GiantMook made the mistake of making a long and nonsensical one to Korgoth in ''WesternAnimation/KorgothOfBarbaria'' after Korgoth had just wiped the floor with the rest of the {{mooks}}. When Korgoth loses patience with the speech, he interrupts by killing the GiantMook [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPXHI2h-K-M&t=0m32s in one of the most absurd/painful ways possible]].
* On ''WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife'', Rocko loses his patience with a supermarket cashier after he misses a big sale by a matter of seconds due to the cashier:
-->'''Filbert''': ''(as the register reads $1.50)'' And your total is... ''(The clock strikes noon, and the total promptly jumps to $150)'' one hundred and fifty dollars. Gee... Looks like you just missed our big sale... Have a nice day...
-->''(Rocko looks on in horror, and after a few seconds, promptly flips the hell out)''\\
'''Rocko''': You ''cheap'' little rotter! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very ''large'' woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I ''still'' beat the twelve o'clock deadline! So if you don't change the total back to a dollar fifty, '''I WILL DO SOMETHING ''NOT NICE!!!!'''''
** The cashier promptly turns it back to $1.50.
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': When Chris asked Stewie if he wanted ice cream, this was his reply:
-->'''Stewie''': Fine, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, ''I shall kill you''.
THAT WON'T WORK!"



* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "Xmas Story", when they try to avoid getting killed by Santa-bot by promising to put out milk and cookies for him.
-->'''Santa-bot:''' You '''''dare''''' bribe Santa?! I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!!
** And on "Mother's Day":
--->'''Mom:''' If I ever see that man [Prof. Farnsworth] again... I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!
** And in "The Deep South":
--->'''Hermes:''' [discussing Nibbler] I'd like to put the little bastard in a sack and toss the sack in a river and [[NoKillLikeOverkill hurl the river into space.]]
** From [[GoAmongMadPeople Insane in the Mainframe]]. [[AxCrazy Roberto's]] description of what will happen to Fry if he testifies against him:
--->'''Roberto'''... And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs.
* Don Karnage does this in ''WesternAnimation/TaleSpin''.
-->'''Don Karnage''': When I catch that bothersome Baloo, I tear him into itsy-bitsy pieces of ugly bear! Then I will sew him back together with dull needles!
* On ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight and threatens to shove his head up his own ass and make him eat his own underwear. Cartman, desperate to back out of the fight, offers to eat his underwear so she won't have to. And then he ''does''.
-->'''Cartman''': I'll make you eat your parents.\\
'''Stan''': [[NotHyperbole He'll do it, dude]].
* Megatron of ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'' has a good one in "Possession" when he discovers that [[GrandTheftMe Starscream]] is being, well, TheStarscream.
--> "Ugh! Starscream and Blackarachnia! I'll have both their treacherous hides! [[VerbalTic Yeeessss]]...I'll-I'll melt them down and use them for aluminum siding! Oh, yes, indeed!"
** A bit earlier, in "Dark Voyage," Dinobot is a little ticked a trap set up for him and several other Maximals has left them blind and contaminated with energon:
--> "I'll tear Scorponok's processor out for this! And Waspinator's, too!"
* ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether'': "Then Ling-Ling kill you slow and use skull for sex, then as decorative birdhouse!"
** Then there was Captain Hero's rather... bizarre threats in ''Captain Hero's Marriage Pact''.
--->'''Wooldoor:''' I'm not comfortable doing that.
--->'''Captain Hero:''' Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in three places and wrapped it in 100 dollar bills?
--->'''Wooldoor:''' Are you threatening me? Or... bribing me?
--->'''Captain Hero:''' What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I pull out your spleen and then drive you to the hospital... (pulls out keys) in your BRAND NEW CAR!
* The early-00's ''WesternAnimation/ActionMan'' cartoon did contain one gem of a line: "If he comes back, I'll rip his head off and shove it up his nose... Wait, his nose is on his head, THAT WON'T WORK!"
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'':
-->'''Mandy:''' You're gonna do it, or so help me, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes and use it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
** Later in ''[[TheMovie Big Boogey Adventure]]''
--->'''Grim (while he's in the "anger" stage of grief):''' I'm gonna rip Boogey's nose off and put it in a jar!
** In "Guess What's Coming to Dinner?", when a traumatized Principal Goodvibes says that he won't be admitting Billy to Rollington Academy, Hoss threatens to send him back to his mama with a jelly jar shoved up his nose.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow'', "Sven Hoek":
-->'''Ren:''' Oh, what I'm gonna do to you... ''I'm so angry!'' First, I'm gonna tear your lips out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do! And then? I'm gonna gouge your eyes out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do... Next, I'm gonna-- TEAR YOUR ARMS OUT OF THE SOCKETS! And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya-- and you're gonna faaaaaall. And I'm gonna look down-- and I'm gonna laaaaaaaugh.

to:

* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "Xmas Story", when they try to avoid getting killed by Santa-bot by promising to put out milk "Red October Sky" of the show ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', Sergei, a retired communist spy who swore revenge against Stan, makes a odd threat against him at the end of the episode.
-->'''Sergei''': I will plant the seeds of revenge
and cookies for him.
-->'''Santa-bot:''' You '''''dare''''' bribe Santa?! I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking
let them grow, then I'll harvest the vegetables of revenge and from those vegetables, I will plant more seeds!
-->'''Stan''': And then
you'll be coughing up diamonds!!
** And on "Mother's Day":
--->'''Mom:''' If I ever see that man [Prof. Farnsworth] again... I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!
** And in "The Deep South":
--->'''Hermes:''' [discussing Nibbler] I'd like to put the little bastard in a sack and toss the sack in a river and [[NoKillLikeOverkill hurl the river into space.]]
** From [[GoAmongMadPeople Insane in the Mainframe]]. [[AxCrazy Roberto's]] description of what will happen to Fry if he testifies against him:
--->'''Roberto'''... And the other hamburger will also be made of
get your lungs.
* Don Karnage does this in ''WesternAnimation/TaleSpin''.
-->'''Don Karnage''': When I catch that bothersome Baloo, I tear him into itsy-bitsy pieces of ugly bear! Then I will sew him back together with dull needles!
* On ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight and threatens to shove his head up his own ass and make him eat his own underwear. Cartman, desperate to back out of the fight, offers to eat his underwear so she won't have to. And then he ''does''.
-->'''Cartman''': I'll make you eat your parents.
revenge.\\
'''Stan''': [[NotHyperbole He'll do it, dude]].
* Megatron of ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'' has a good one in "Possession" when he discovers that [[GrandTheftMe Starscream]] is being, well, TheStarscream.
--> "Ugh! Starscream and Blackarachnia! I'll have both their treacherous hides! [[VerbalTic Yeeessss]]...I'll-I'll melt them down and use them for aluminum siding! Oh, yes, indeed!"
** A bit earlier, in "Dark Voyage," Dinobot is a little ticked a trap set up for him and several other Maximals has left them blind and contaminated with energon:
--> "I'll tear Scorponok's processor out for this! And Waspinator's, too!"
* ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether'': "Then Ling-Ling kill you slow and use skull for sex, then as decorative birdhouse!"
** Then there was Captain Hero's rather... bizarre threats in ''Captain Hero's Marriage Pact''.
--->'''Wooldoor:''' I'm not comfortable doing that.
--->'''Captain Hero:''' Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in three places and wrapped it in 100 dollar bills?
--->'''Wooldoor:''' Are you threatening me? Or... bribing me?
--->'''Captain Hero:''' What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I pull out your spleen and then drive you to
'''Sergei''': No, Smith. From the hospital... (pulls out keys) in your BRAND NEW CAR!
* The early-00's ''WesternAnimation/ActionMan'' cartoon did contain one gem
third or perhaps fourth harvest of a line: "If he comes back, I'll rip his head off and shove it up his nose... Wait, his nose is on his head, THAT WON'T WORK!"
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'':
-->'''Mandy:''' You're gonna do it, or so help me,
revenge plants, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes make stew and use season it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
** Later in ''[[TheMovie Big Boogey Adventure]]''
--->'''Grim (while he's in the "anger" stage of grief):''' I'm gonna rip Boogey's nose off and put it in a jar!
** In "Guess What's Coming to Dinner?", when a traumatized Principal Goodvibes says that he won't be admitting Billy to Rollington Academy, Hoss threatens to send him back to his mama
perfectly, with a jelly jar shoved up his nose.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow'', "Sven Hoek":
-->'''Ren:''' Oh, what I'm gonna do to you... ''I'm so angry!'' First, I'm gonna tear your lips out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do! And then? I'm gonna gouge your eyes out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do... Next, I'm gonna-- TEAR YOUR ARMS OUT OF THE SOCKETS! And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya-- and you're gonna faaaaaall. And I'm gonna look down-- and I'm gonna laaaaaaaugh.
revenge!



* TheDevil's descriptions of hell on ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'', especially in the [[VillainSong song]] "Hoofprints":
--> As I ram your carcass through an impossibly small hole into a sea of flaming hot human feces, and you can't draw a breath yet your lungs are filled [[RunningGag with that same flaming hot human feces!]]
* ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'': When Lila is chosen to be Juliet for the School play with Arnold, Helga does everything talk her out of it, but eventually Lila manages to get Helga to confess the truth about ''why'' she wants to be Juliet so badly. Upon revealing this Helga threatens that if Lila ever told anyone she would pull out her tongue and wrap it around her neck.
* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' has this bit of dialogue in one episode:
-->'''Peggy''': Oh, I'm so glad you forgave him. I'm not sure how you were going to "Drive your truck through his ass", but you sounded serious.
* In the episode "Red October Sky" of the show ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', Sergei, a retired communist spy who swore revenge against Stan, makes a odd threat against him at the end of the episode.
-->'''Sergei''': I will plant the seeds of revenge and let them grow, then I'll harvest the vegetables of revenge and from those vegetables, I will plant more seeds!
-->'''Stan''': And then you'll get your revenge.\\
'''Sergei''': No, Smith. From the third or perhaps fourth harvest of revenge plants, I will make stew and season it perfectly, with revenge!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'': In the episode where Mark made his debut, an episode of [[ShowWithinAShow Crash Nebula]] that Timmy, AJ and Chester were watching, had enemy aliens holding a bunch of astronauts hostage and threatening them that they'd suck out their brains with a straw. Later, Mark used the exact same threat against AJ and Chester when he kept them captive before Timmy came to the rescue.
* The grand battle scene against Dr. D's robot army in ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb: [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerbTheMovieAcrossThe2ndDimension Across the 2nd Dimension]]'' is set to an original song titled "Robot Riot", which packs [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27AJ8QqAg0Y some choice threats in its lyrics]]. Granted, they are threats against [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman robotkind]], but they're still really colorful. E.G.:
-->"I'm gonna rip you up and put you back together in a new configuration just to mow my lawn."
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' Ed tries this while [[HiccupHijinks trying to scare the hiccups out of Double D]].
-->'''Ed''': I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!\\
'''Edd''': *hic* ''[Half scared, half confused]'' Malice me with a shoehorn?!
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' has some sort of security guard crash course instructor who claims he can kill a man with his thumb. [[SchmuckBait He then asks for a volunteer]], and [[TooDumbToLive actually gets one]], who changes his mind when Dilbert [[CaptainObvious points out the obvious]]. Moments later, the instructor [[MadeOfPlasticine accidentally thumbs himself in the neck and dies instantly.]]

to:

* TheDevil's descriptions Megatron of hell on ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'', especially ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'' has a good one in the [[VillainSong song]] "Hoofprints":
--> As I ram your carcass through an impossibly small hole into a sea of flaming hot human feces, and you can't draw a breath yet your lungs are filled [[RunningGag with
"Possession" when he discovers that same flaming hot human feces!]]
* ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'': When Lila
[[GrandTheftMe Starscream]] is chosen to be Juliet for the School play with Arnold, Helga does everything talk her out of it, but eventually Lila manages to get Helga to confess the truth about ''why'' she wants to be Juliet so badly. Upon revealing this Helga threatens that if Lila ever told anyone she would pull out her tongue being, well, TheStarscream.
-->"Ugh! Starscream
and wrap it around her neck.
* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' has this bit of dialogue in one episode:
-->'''Peggy''': Oh, I'm so glad you forgave him. I'm not sure how you were going to "Drive your truck through his ass", but you sounded serious.
* In the episode "Red October Sky" of the show ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', Sergei, a retired communist spy who swore revenge against Stan, makes a odd threat against him at the end of the episode.
-->'''Sergei''': I will plant the seeds of revenge and let them grow, then
Blackarachnia! I'll harvest the vegetables of revenge and from those vegetables, I will plant more seeds!
-->'''Stan''': And then you'll get your revenge.\\
'''Sergei''': No, Smith. From the third or perhaps fourth harvest of revenge plants, I will make stew and season it perfectly, with revenge!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'': In the episode where Mark made his debut, an episode of [[ShowWithinAShow Crash Nebula]] that Timmy, AJ and Chester were watching, had enemy aliens holding a bunch of astronauts hostage and threatening them that they'd suck out
have both their brains treacherous hides! [[VerbalTic Yeeessss]]...I'll-I'll melt them down and use them for aluminum siding! Oh, yes, indeed!"
** A bit earlier, in "Dark Voyage," Dinobot is a little ticked a trap set up for him and several other Maximals has left them blind and contaminated
with a straw. Later, Mark used the exact same threat against AJ and Chester when he kept them captive before Timmy came to the rescue.
* The grand battle scene against Dr. D's robot army in ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb: [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerbTheMovieAcrossThe2ndDimension Across the 2nd Dimension]]'' is set to an original song titled "Robot Riot", which packs [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27AJ8QqAg0Y some choice threats in its lyrics]]. Granted, they are threats against [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman robotkind]], but they're still really colorful. E.G.:
-->"I'm gonna rip you up and put you back together in a new configuration just to mow my lawn."
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' Ed tries this while [[HiccupHijinks trying to scare the hiccups
energon:
--> "I'll tear Scorponok's processor
out of Double D]].
-->'''Ed''': I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!\\
'''Edd''': *hic* ''[Half scared, half confused]'' Malice me with a shoehorn?!
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' has some sort of security guard crash course instructor who claims he can kill a man with his thumb. [[SchmuckBait He then asks
for a volunteer]], and [[TooDumbToLive actually gets one]], who changes his mind when Dilbert [[CaptainObvious points out the obvious]]. Moments later, the instructor [[MadeOfPlasticine accidentally thumbs himself in the neck and dies instantly.]]this! And Waspinator's, too!"



* ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether'': "Then Ling-Ling kill you slow and use skull for sex, then as decorative birdhouse!"
** Then there was Captain Hero's rather... bizarre threats in ''Captain Hero's Marriage Pact''.
--->'''Wooldoor:''' I'm not comfortable doing that.\\
'''Captain Hero:''' Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in three places and wrapped it in 100 dollar bills?\\
'''Wooldoor:''' Are you threatening me? Or... bribing me?\\
'''Captain Hero:''' What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I pull out your spleen and then drive you to the hospital... (pulls out keys) in your BRAND NEW CAR!



* On the ''WesternAnimation/WhatACartoonShow'', a Yuckie Duck cartoon had Yuckie as a paramedic, and one of his patients was an angry lion with a carpet tack stuck in his butt, who warns Yuckie "Pull it out slow, 'cause if I feel one little pain, ''I'll tie you up in granny knots!''" When Yuckie accidentally pulls one of the guy's teeth, the lion [[NotHyperbole makes good on his threat]].
* The ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' episode "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS2E15TheSuperSpeedyCiderSqueezy6000 The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000]]" has Rainbow Dash upset after she and her friends fail to beat the Flim Flam brothers in the cider making contest. She threatens to press the brothers into jerk cider before Applejack restrains her.

to:

* On the ''WesternAnimation/WhatACartoonShow'', a Yuckie Duck cartoon had Yuckie as a paramedic, and one ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' has some sort of his patients was an angry lion security guard crash course instructor who claims he can kill a man with a carpet tack stuck in his butt, thumb. [[SchmuckBait He then asks for a volunteer]], and [[TooDumbToLive actually gets one]], who warns Yuckie "Pull it changes his mind when Dilbert [[CaptainObvious points out slow, 'cause if I feel one little pain, ''I'll tie you up in granny knots!''" When Yuckie the obvious]]. Moments later, the instructor [[MadeOfPlasticine accidentally pulls one of thumbs himself in the guy's teeth, the lion [[NotHyperbole makes good on his threat]].
neck and dies instantly.]]
* The ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' In an episode "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS2E15TheSuperSpeedyCiderSqueezy6000 The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000]]" has Rainbow Dash upset after she of ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' Ed tries this while [[HiccupHijinks trying to scare the hiccups out of Double D]].
-->'''Ed''': I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!\\
'''Edd''': *hic* ''[Half scared, half confused]'' Malice me with a shoehorn?!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'': In the episode where Mark made his debut, an episode of [[ShowWithinAShow Crash Nebula]] that Timmy, AJ
and her friends fail to beat Chester were watching, had enemy aliens holding a bunch of astronauts hostage and threatening them that they'd suck out their brains with a straw. Later, Mark used the Flim Flam brothers exact same threat against AJ and Chester when he kept them captive before Timmy came to the rescue.
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': When Chris asked Stewie if he wanted ice cream, this was his reply:
-->'''Stewie''': Fine, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, ''I shall kill you''.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "Xmas Story", when they try to avoid getting killed by Santa-bot by promising to put out milk and cookies for him.
-->'''Santa-bot:''' You '''''dare''''' bribe Santa?! I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!!
** And on "Mother's Day":
--->'''Mom:''' If I ever see that man [Prof. Farnsworth] again... I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!
** And in "The Deep South":
--->'''Hermes:''' [discussing Nibbler] I'd like to put the little bastard in a sack and toss the sack in a river and [[NoKillLikeOverkill hurl the river into space.]]
** From "[[GoAmongMadPeople Insane
in the cider making contest. She Mainframe]]", [[AxCrazy Roberto's]] description of what will happen to Fry if he testifies against him:
--->'''Roberto'''... And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'':
-->'''Mandy:''' You're gonna do it, or so help me, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes and use it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
** Later in ''[[TheMovie Big Boogey Adventure]]''
--->'''Grim (while he's in the "anger" stage of grief):''' I'm gonna rip Boogey's nose off and put it in a jar!
** In "Guess What's Coming to Dinner?", when a traumatized Principal Goodvibes says that he won't be admitting Billy to Rollington Academy, Hoss
threatens to press send him back to his mama with a jelly jar shoved up his nose.
* ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'': When Lila is chosen to be Juliet for
the brothers into jerk cider before Applejack restrains her.school play with Arnold, Helga does everything talk her out of it, but eventually Lila manages to get Helga to confess the truth about ''why'' she wants to be Juliet so badly. Upon revealing this Helga threatens that if Lila ever told anyone she would pull out her tongue and wrap it around her neck.
* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' has this bit of dialogue in one episode:
-->'''Peggy''': Oh, I'm so glad you forgave him. I'm not sure how you were going to "Drive your truck through his ass", but you sounded serious.


Added DiffLines:

* A GiantMook made the mistake of making a long and nonsensical one to Korgoth in ''WesternAnimation/KorgothOfBarbaria'' after Korgoth had just wiped the floor with the rest of the {{mooks}}. When Korgoth loses patience with the speech, he interrupts by killing the GiantMook [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPXHI2h-K-M&t=0m32s in one of the most absurd/painful ways possible]].
* In the ''WesternAnimation/LEGOStarWarsTheFreemakerAdventures'' episode "The Lost Treasure of Cloud City", when Kordi learns that Zander took Rowan to a pit fighting ring, she threatens him that if he does it again she'll launch him into hyperspace with her boots.


Added DiffLines:

* The ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' episode "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS2E15TheSuperSpeedyCiderSqueezy6000 The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000]]" has Rainbow Dash upset after she and her friends fail to beat the Flim Flam brothers in the cider making contest. She threatens to press the brothers into jerk cider before Applejack restrains her.
* The grand battle scene against Dr. D's robot army in ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb: [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerbTheMovieAcrossThe2ndDimension Across the 2nd Dimension]]'' is set to an original song titled "Robot Riot", which packs [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27AJ8QqAg0Y some choice threats in its lyrics]]. Granted, they are threats against [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman robotkind]], but they're still really colorful. E.G.:
-->"I'm gonna rip you up and put you back together in a new configuration just to mow my lawn."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow'', "Sven Hoek":
-->'''Ren:''' Oh, what I'm gonna do to you... ''I'm so angry!'' First, I'm gonna tear your lips out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do! And then? I'm gonna gouge your eyes out! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do... Next, I'm gonna-- TEAR YOUR ARMS OUT OF THE SOCKETS! And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya-- and you're gonna faaaaaall. And I'm gonna look down-- and I'm gonna laaaaaaaugh.
* On ''WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife'', Rocko loses his patience with a supermarket cashier after he misses a big sale by a matter of seconds due to the cashier:
-->'''Filbert''': ''(as the register reads $1.50)'' And your total is... ''(The clock strikes noon, and the total promptly jumps to $150)'' one hundred and fifty dollars. Gee... Looks like you just missed our big sale... Have a nice day...
-->''(Rocko looks on in horror, and after a few seconds, promptly flips the hell out)''\\
'''Rocko''': You ''cheap'' little rotter! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very ''large'' woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I ''still'' beat the twelve o'clock deadline! So if you don't change the total back to a dollar fifty, '''I WILL DO SOMETHING ''NOT NICE!!!!'''''
** The cashier promptly turns it back to $1.50.
* In ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'', Jack's first opponent in the Dome of Doom, Gordo the Gruesome, is a master of smack talk, and most of his threats follow this pattern. Behold:
-->"I will hang you out like laundry! I will beat you like a drum! I will make your mother cry! I will make your Aunt Edna from Gorfield, south of Barnaby, cry!"
* In ''WesternAnimation/Sealab2021'', con man Master Loo is being challenged to a fight by one of the main characters when we begins ''[[PowerFloats levitating ]][[PowerGlows and glowing green]]''. He deapans the following:
-->"See the way my body's glowing? Yeah. A lot of people can't do that. Okay, you want some? You want some of the glowing? Look, man, your soul? I'm gonna totally chew on it, and floss with your spirit. I read that somewhere. But I'll do it."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' example: Some of Moe's reactions to Bart's prank calls qualify for this, e.g. "Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
** "If I find out who this is, I'll nail a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!"
** "Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you! And then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
** When Bart makes a prank call to a Swedish bar, the bartender, in a grim Creator/IngmarBergman parody, merely intones "If I ever find you, I will ''thank you'' for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
** Subverted on another occasion, where Homer enters the family's new horse in a race and declares "If he doesn't win, we're taking a trip to the glue factory... and ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint he won't get to come]]''."
** When Homer gets a job as a tow truck driver, another driver says that if Homer treads on his turf, he'll "Rip off your head, vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, and then stuff them both down your neck-hole, to which I previously alluded."
** Apu fails faking indignation badly: "I'm so angry I could just ... fall asleep!".
** When Lisa finds out Bart has been using his Mr. Microphone to make the entire town think he was Timmy O'toole-in-the-well, she warns him that, once the townspeople find out, they're "going to want to cut you up with rusty razors."
* On ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight and threatens to shove his head up his own ass and make him eat his own underwear. Cartman, desperate to back out of the fight, offers to eat his underwear so she won't have to. And then he ''does''.
-->'''Cartman''': I'll make you eat your parents.\\
'''Stan''': [[NotHyperbole He'll do it, dude]].
* TheDevil's descriptions of hell on ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'', especially in the [[VillainSong song]] "Hoofprints":
--> As I ram your carcass through an impossibly small hole into a sea of flaming hot human feces, and you can't draw a breath yet your lungs are filled [[RunningGag with that same flaming hot human feces!]]
* Don Karnage does this in ''WesternAnimation/TaleSpin''.
-->'''Don Karnage''': When I catch that bothersome Baloo, I tear him into itsy-bitsy pieces of ugly bear! Then I will sew him back together with dull needles!
* On the [[ScoobyDooHoax Ghosts of Sargasso]] episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', [[TheBigGuy Brock Sampson]] acquires a [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms walkie-talkie]] and uses it to threaten the [[GhostPirate "G.P."]] Captain with...
-->"Hey Captain, [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything I've got your key. I hope you're hungry.]] 'Cause I'm gonna feed it to you."
* On the ''WesternAnimation/WhatACartoonShow'', a Yuckie Duck cartoon had Yuckie as a paramedic, and one of his patients was an angry lion with a carpet tack stuck in his butt, who warns Yuckie "Pull it out slow, 'cause if I feel one little pain, ''I'll tie you up in granny knots!''" When Yuckie accidentally pulls one of the guy's teeth, the lion [[NotHyperbole makes good on his threat]].
5th May '17 5:20:51 AM Andyroid
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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Madagascar}}'': Alex the lion says "I'm going to strangle you and bury you and then dig you up and clone you and kill all your clones, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and then I'm never speaking to you again!]]"

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Madagascar}}'': Alex the lion says threatens Marty the Zebra with "I'm going to strangle you you, and bury you you, and then dig you up and clone you and you, then I'm gonna kill all your clones, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and then I'm never speaking talking to you again!]]"
9th Apr '17 1:42:33 PM thespecialneedsgroup
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*** After Archer steals her credit card "The Honeymooners:"

to:

*** After Archer steals her credit card in "The Honeymooners:"
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