History Literature / MisterBGone

* Patricide: One of the worst of crimes. But I think you'll agree Pappy G. had that one coming. Luckily, I [[IncrediblyLamePun cut him loose.]]

%%* HumansAreTheRealMonsters: Like you didn't know this already?

%%* SnicketWarningLabel: Well, I do get up to some nasty things... and you can't say I'm not upfront about it.

%%* UnreliableNarrator: Oh, stop your whining.
* TheEndingChangesEverything: So you couldn't bring yourself to burn the book after all? Well, I suppose I have some good news for you then: had you done that, you would've released me from my prison, I suppose you made the right choice. Say, got any enemies who might enjoy a good read?

* HeterosexualLifePartners: Quitoon and I become quite close friends during our century of travelling together. [[spoiler: Then things get quite a bit more complicated, right at the very end.]] At least until I was shoved into that horrible press..

%%* AndIMustScream: ...Yes.

%%* VillainProtagonist: At your service.

%%* EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor: But take a step down from that high horse of yours. [[NotSoDifferent I can see you sniggering along with me]].

* AlienGeometries: Ever try to watch an Angel and a Demon [[strike:arguing]] negotiating? It's really quite epic.
* AndIMustScream: ...Yes.

* BlackComedy

* BrownNote: I tried to warn you at every turn, but noooooo...
* ColdBloodedTorture: This happens frequently throughout my tale, some of it perpetrated by humans, [[spoiler:but it's child's play compared to what I have in store for you if you don't delete this page...]]

* CorruptChurch: You better believe it. Quitoon and I had some ''fun'' with these guys.
* DeadpanSnarker: At times, of course. If you were exposed to the kind of things I've experienced, it helps to throw a little bile in their direction.

* TheDogBitesBack: Oh, yessssss... revenge is sweet, isn't it, Pappy G.?

* EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor: But take a step down from that high horse of yours. [[NotSoDifferent I can see you sniggering along with me]].

* [[spoiler: GodAndSatanAreBothJerks: Heaven and Hell's little SlapSlapKiss routine rather ''wears'' on one.]]

* HumansAreTheRealMonsters: Like you didn't know this already?

* KickTheDog: Or "exsanguinate the babies" in my case. I'm not a people person. [[FreudianExcuse Dear old Pappy saw to that]].

* KnightTemplar: You saw CorruptChurch listed up there, right? A smart Troper like you must've guessed this was coming. How they did ''love'' their fires.

* MeaningfulName: I didn't actually know the significance of the name Botch until I'd already made some very grave mistakes. [[SarcasmMode Isn't that just a riot]].

* OurAngelsAreDifferent: Such beautiful, beautiful douchebags...

* PaintingTheMedium: Such a flimsy thing, the fourth wall... I do so enjoy playing with it.

* SnicketWarningLabel: Well, I do get up to some nasty things... and you can't say I'm not upfront about it.

* SophisticatedAsHell: I have my moments.

* UnreliableNarrator: Oh, stop your whining.
* VillainProtagonist: At your service.

* WordSaladTitle: It makes sense later, trust me.

* YouBastard: I suppose you expect me to be ''happy'' that you're enjoying my story. Have I mentioned how intolerably ''awful'' my existence is?
** Oh, but it isn't just you. [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters Your whole kind is into such dark tales of suffering]]. After all, [[ArmorPiercingQuestion why else would you keep reading my tale]]?

[[spoiler:I couldn't help but notice that you still haven't deleted this page. It's probably for the best. I have a confession to make, though... deleting this page would have released a very angry, quite dangerous being upon the world - yes, moi - and of course my first order of business would have been to slaughter you and destroy everything you hold dear. Oh, don't look so taken aback. [[ItsWhatIDo I do this sort of thing all the time.]] Not to worry, though, as I am very patient...and there's always the next troper. Say, maybe you could recommend this page to one you don't like?]]

Delete this page.

No, really. Delete it immediately. Don't look at another word.

If you are the merciful type, you will end my suffering and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Delete. This. Page. Immediately.]] I have experienced so much suffering in my long life that it would be a great relief to me if this page were utterly annihilated.

Why are you still reading? Are you so morbidly curious about this book that you won't perform this one act of kindness without hearing more about it?

* DespairEventHorizon: There's nothing quite like being TouchedByAnAngel (yes, actual ''angels'') and knowing that you will never see the sort of glorious beauty that they represent because ''you're just not supposed to experience it'' to make someone like me '''[[UnstoppableRage completely snap]]'''.

[[spoiler:I couldn't help but notice that you still haven't deleted this page. It's probably for the best. I have a confession to make, though... deleting this page would have released a very angry, quite dangerous being upon the world - yes, moi - and of course my first order of business would have been to slaughter you and destroy everything you hold dear. Oh, don't look so taken aback. [[ItsWhatIDo I do this sort of thing all the time.]] Not to worry, though, as I am very patient...and there's always the next troper...]]

What are you waiting for? It's for your own good, really, for if you continue to read this article about my humble memoir, ''Mister B. Gone'', penned by one Mr. CliveBarker, you will only get yourself into more and more trouble. Mind-rending, soul-shattering, sanity-obliterating trouble. You'll go utterly mad, forgetting all that you were, all because you kept on reading this page.

* LikeAnOldMarriedCouple: I can't think of a better way to describe my relationship with Quitoon. Bickering with him was such ''fun''.

* BaddieFlattery: A flatterer? Moi? Oh, certainly not! Don't be so modest, Troper. I know someone with your steadfast integrity, depthless compassion, and shining intellect is just the sort of person who'd find it in their heart to help me. [[spoiler:I can only hope someday a reader's vain enough to fall for this]].

* DoesNotLikeSpam: Fish. The Nazarene's association makes 'em generally repulsive to my kind.

* BaddieFlattery: A flatterer? Moi? Oh, certainly not! Don't be so modest, Troper. I know someone with your steadfast integrity, depthless compassion, and shining intellect is just the sort of person who'd find it in their heart to help me. [[Spoiler: I can only hope someday a reader's vain enough to fall for this]].

* InterspeciesRomance: I do fancy myself a decent kisser, even with my lips burned off, and Caroline was quite a lovely girl until [[NightmareFuel her face got boiled off]].

** ''VideoGame/DantesInferno'': Of course Hell has circles. How do you think we sort out the damned souls of humans?

* CoolSword: Quitoon had such a beautiful blade that showed me the intense physical beauty of the world as I used it, like the black and blue with orange specks of a grown man's cries, as bright as his blood.