History Horrible / LITERATURE

* '''''Literature/DanganronpaTogami''''' is a three-part ''Franchise/{{Danganronpa}}'' Light Novel series which has the distinction of getting the franchise's perpetually BrokenBase to agree on ''something'' -- namely, that it's utter garbage. To describe the story is rather pointless, as whatever narrative there is gets filtered through a massive RandomEventsPlot that takes so many {{Ass Pull}}s as to become incomprehensible. The books are full of plot holes and nonsensical developments, some of them plot-breaking (a good example is when two characters somehow drive to the Czech Republic from ''Hokkaido, Japan''). There's a large cast of characters, but the characters from the main series are heavily OutOfCharacter, and the original ones are extremely one-note and unlikable; the intended TragicVillain goes way too far over the MoralEventHorizon to be sympathetic, and the protagonist is probably meant to be TheWoobie but instead comes off as a sycophantic AuthorAvatar. The story is filled with tons of references to literature and obscure history, most of which interrupt the story and make it come off as intensely pretentious, especially when the story interrupts itself ''mid-climax'' to [[SmallNameBigEgo brag about how good the author is]]. Oh, and if you came in wanting to read about Byakuya Togami, you don't even get ''that'', as he spends the vast majority of the story OutOfFocus. Its only saving grace is that it's gone completely ignored by canon, with several plot points contradicted in ''[=DR3=]''.

* '''''Literature/EmpressTheresa''''' by Norman Boutin rose to infamy thanks to the author's numerous DearNegativeReader diatribes and his insistence that the book is the greatest in human history. The book follows the titular Theresa, a 10-year-old child prodigy who merges with an alien entity referred to as [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL]], giving her various superhuman abilities. The book's story is incomprehensible and flat, with plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, bizarre story elements (such as [[ArtisticLicenseMedicine Theresa being revived after falling into the ocean by having the heat turned up]]), and bad pacing and grammar. The cast is flat and uninteresting - although Theresa is constantly praised as being perfect and virtuous, her actions paint her as petty and narcissistic (at one point eliminating winter because she doesn't like it), with the problems she faces being the result of her own carelessness. ''WebVideo/DownTheRabbitHole''[='s=] Fredrik Knudsen [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TedsiCaV2B4 did an episode]] detailing how far Boutin went to defend and promote the book, and then devoted [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNCUp2VkKhs an entire livestream]] just to tearing the book itself apart. To further run the point home, [[WebVideo/TheBookWasBetter KrimsonRogue]] has dedicated [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JopR-biL0I4 five]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wSfqrSKJFs videos]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oyd20AxoRc worth]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TuD4qPEt60 of]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1sMawiLLw commentary]], with even the shortest running just over an ''hour''. He noted that over 400 pages, he could only spot ''two'' that didn't feature blatantly poor grammar or embarrassing writing.

* '''''The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-Squares Financial Statements''''' by Dwight David Thrash is a 2016 novella in which the protagonist Titus Uno, [[TrytoFitThatOnABusinessCard Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant,]] is tasked to investigate a terrorist who blew up the 64-SQUARES skyscraper and stole its hard disks, as well as needing to get the company's finances back. Despite its short length, huge blocks of text are straight-up copy-and-pasted elsewhere while [[AlwaysIntroducesThemselves the main character]] has his full name and professional credentials referenced ''every single time'' he is mentioned as if the author was desperately trying to reach a particular word count. [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Typos and missing words]] abound alongside overall sloppy typesetting, a confusing story with several PlotHoles, and the extremely samey chapters will likely send you into some kind of endlessly looping hell. [[FlatCharacter Everyone is incredibly boring]], with more details going into their personal lives than their characterization, while the main character comes across as [[ItsAllAboutMe very egotistical]] even though he barely does anything of note. See [[WebVideo/TheBookWasBetter KrimsonRogue]] get defeated by the book [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DytIPdE8PAo here]] and check out the ''[[Podcast/ThreeHundredSeventyTwoPagesWellNeverGetBack 372 Pages]]'' podcast (starting at Episode 30) for an in-depth analysis.
** The author also throws out the concepts of plot and characterization to explain accounting in mind-numbing, excruciating detail but as if it was being explained to a child [[ViewersAreMorons despite the presumptive target audience.]] However, the reader is very unlikely to learn much about accounting considering what a huge slog it is to get past the non-existent action and its weird infantile, childish tone. Whatever details do exist, such as the chess championship outside of 64-SQUARES (bizarrely competing against loud carnival games for some reason) [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse are never brought up again]].

** She goes on about how ''WesternAnimation/{{The Lion King|1994}}'' supposedly plagiarized from ''Anime/KimbaTheWhiteLion'' when she very clearly hasn't seen ''either'' work. She can't tell ''Kimba''[='=]s Pauley Cracker (a parrot) from ''The Lion King''[='=]s Zazu (a hornbill). She thinks they have the same "rocky terrain" as a setting, when ''Kimba'' mostly takes place in the jungle. She notes that both Claw and Scar are darker-skinned lions with a scar over their left eye -- and misses the massive differences in their characters' personalities, as well as the fact that Claw is a much less prominent character than Scar. She notes that "Kimba" and "Simba" are similar, and fails to pick up on how "Simba" is [[YouAreTheTranslatedForeignWord Swahili for "lion"]]. She claims that Kimba and Simba's fathers both had their ghosts appear as an image on the moon, even though the ghost of Simba's father Mufasa actually appeared in clouds.

** Her use of sources is ''strikingly'' poor, especially for a lawyer writing about copyrights. Some claims are unsourced. Others come from things like poorly made Website/YouTube videos. And some claims clearly come from uncredited sources, particularly the ''Lion King'' claims, which come from a 2004 book by Fred Patten. Imagine the {{Irony}} in a law professor accusing Disney of plagiarism having to plagiarize to support her claims.

* '''''Ghost Hunting 2.0: Breaking New Ground''''' by Chris Bores (better known as WebVideo/TheIrateGamer) is supposedly about new methods of ghost hunting that he developed, but is actually just another testament to his already [[SmallNameBigEgo famously massive ego]]. The book is plagued with spelling, grammar, and formatting errors, which Bores openly defends as intentional. Most of the "facts" presented are contradictory and have little to no evidence, sourcing, or reasoning other than his own word that the experts are wrong and he is right. The majority of the tools and texts he brings up, which he claims no one else uses, have been used before -- and thoroughly debunked as useless by professional ghost hunters (including peanut butter baits and the ''Tibetan Book of the Dead'', which is an extremely-poorly-translated Buddhist self-help guide). He spends half the book referencing things like ''Franchise/{{Batman}}'' and ''Franchise/ScoobyDoo''. He repeatedly brags about how he was at one point the 55th most subscribed person on Website/YouTube, conveniently leaving out the fact that it was for his video game review show. And by the end, he declares that he has created a new branch of psychology. The book has a 3-star rating on Amazon, as actual critiques are counterbalanced by a flood of 5-star reviews written by the author's own spambots and defensive ''Irate Gamer'' fans who [[PraisingShowsYouDontWatch admit to not having read it]].
* '''''Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie''''', by Paul Spadoni (under the PenName Mabel Barr)[[note]]a reference to the fictional book's author, [[PunnyName Mabel Syrup]][[/note]], is a lazy, unlicensed {{Defictionalization}} of the ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'' [[RunningGag bedtime story]] and a good reason to be thankful that Creator/BillWatterson [[NothingIsFunnier never discussed the plot in the strip]]. The story itself is unimaginative, the illustrations are crude, and it was likely published [[MoneyDearBoy for a quick buck]]. Indeed, it's only eight pages long with a good chunk of the last page being an order form. However, a used copy as of this writing is being pushed for ''$650'', which equates to over '''$80 per page'''. All of its [[PolishTheTurd positive]] [[http://www.amazon.com/Hamster-Huey-Gooey-Kablooie-Adventure/product-reviews/0974909009/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Amazon reviews]] are [[AstroTurf from the author's hometown]].

** Heroic groups of five [[ConservationOfNinjutsu fight off hordes of fifty or more without a single injury]].

* '''''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles''''', by Nancy Stouffer, rose to infamy after Stouffer claimed that Creator/JKRowling took inspiration from her book for her ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series. She filed a FrivolousLawsuit on this basis, which she lost comprehensively and which [[BileFascination drew interest in her works]] -- and a realization of how ''bad'' they were. A small-time publisher tried to [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity cash in]] on the scandal and did a small printing run, only to quickly go bankrupt. ''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them. Its main problem is that it can't seem to decide what it wants to be -- it's equal parts dark apocalyptic drama, [[SweetnessAversion sickeningly sweet fantasy]], children's GhostStory, and fable about where stars come from (which mostly gets tacked on at the end). ''Very'' briefly: The protagonists are twins who, as infants, are [[MosesInTheBulrushes sent away from a post-apocalyptic wasteland]] by their mother (who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]) and end up in the land of the eponymous Muggles. One of the twins is AlwaysSecondBest and becomes the antagonist, while his brother Rah is the nominal hero but [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]]. The Muggles are [[UnintentionalUncannyValley grotesque, almost infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation. Their land is stuck in a nuclear winter -- until the twins bring the sun back. Somehow. They also have a "lemonade lake" and a character who keeps changing ages. The plot isn't about Rah redeeming his brother so much as trying to defeat him -- which is easy, because he does things like getting horrendously sick by [[IdiotBall keeping his hideout in a ridiculously irradiated tree]]. It reads as if nothing was planned out in advance, and everything ends up being ridiculous.

* Creator/GloriaTesch rose to infamy thanks to her [[VanityPublishing vanity-published]] series '''''Literature/MaradoniaSaga'''''. The books themselves are styled as a "trilogy", but there are [[TrilogyCreep five of them]][[note]]A sixth book, ''Maradonia and the Battle for the Key'', was advertised but never published[[/note]]. The first two entries are 700-page {{Doorstopper}}s, while the third only has about 400 pages; she then [[DividedForPublication split up the first two books]], and thus we get five. All the books are riddled with awful formatting, [[DesignatedHero callous and self-absorbed protagonists]], and [[RandomEventsPlot a confusing story]] that plagiarizes from other far more credible works. Among the "exciting" plot elements are a talking grasshopper, an antagonist with a "Club of Evil" that sings "Mother Earth songs" and has a water park, and random use of the salsa dance. Tesch's father [[Creator/GerryTesch Gerry]] bankrolled her and backed her up with an army of lawyers and {{Sock Puppet}}s to promote the books (and silence their critics). Tesch was billed as "[[VeryFalseAdvertising the world's youngest novelist]]", even though people younger than her had published much better books before she did. Gerry even funded a [[Film/MaradoniaAndTheShadowEmpire film adaptation]], which [[Horrible/LiveActionFilmsGToM was also poorly received]] and appears to have bankrupted him. Impish Idea has a {{Spork}} of the entire series [[http://impishidea.com/tag/maradonia-%28series%29/ here]]. As of 2020, Tesch seems to have tried her best to [[BuryYourArt suppress the series]], effectively disowning ''Maradonia''.
* '''''Literature/MassEffectDeception''''' is a tie-in book released in the months leading up to ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''. Notably, it was also the first novel not written by the head writer Drew Karpyshyn. It was supposed to be a side story featuring the continuing adventures of Gillian Grayson; it wound up gaining the hatred of fans for its tactless treatment of homosexuality and [[ThrowingOffTheDisability autism]], a [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XBpMF3ONlI308D9IGG8KICBHfWKU0sXh0ntukv-_cmo/edit?pli=1 list of research errors]] longer than IMDB's "Goofs" page for ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'', and [[SeriesContinuityError overall absence of anything resembling consistency or continuity]]. Not that it fared any better among non-fans -- long, drawn-out chapters (often [[ShowDontTell expository]] and [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment redundant]]) were a common occurrence. Proofreading, however, was not. Publisher Del Rey openly apologized for the book (and promised to radically rewrite it, though it never happened).
* '''The James Vincent Murphy translation of''' '''''Literature/MeinKampf''''' took something already derided as being [[{{Doorstopper}} overly long]] and [[PurpleProse hideously thick]] in its original form and somehow made it worse. [[AdaptationDecay The writing style was changed drastically]], alterations and expansions were blatant and hackneyed, and [[ObviousBeta spelling and grammar were all over the place]]. The book resembles some bad fanfics of the original. Its clunky, dull, flowery prose results at least partially from the author's habit of [[BlindIdiotTranslation looking up the words he didn't know in a German-English dictionary]] and picking the first definition he saw. It was submitted incomplete; Murphy changed his mind about the Nazis and fled Germany, meaning the press had to finish the translation. Perhaps fortunately, the few copies that the Nazi press produced were lost until 2008, effectively destroying any chance for this abomination to become anything more than a bizarre curiosity.
* '''''Mermaid's Kiss and Siren's Song''''' is a poorly disguised ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' fanfic published on Amazon. All the characters are thinly-veiled {{Expies}} and one-dimensional, there's RougeAnglesOfSatin everywhere, and rather [[{{Squick}} disgusting]] metaphors are used to describe a character's hair in the first chapter alone. One piece of evidence to the novel being a ''Final Fantasy VII'' fic with the names changed is how one character, named "Gamba Dumey", is at one point referred to as "Gamba Dumey Wallace"[[note]]Wallace being the last name of the character Barret.[[/note]]. As for the rest of the novel, [[https://www.amazon.com/dp/1419617710#customerReviews the reviews]] speak for themselves.
* ''VideoGame/MortalKombatDeception'' was a fine game, but '''its official strategy guide from [=BradyGames=]''' was almost unreadable, and not entirely because [[RougeAnglesOfSatin it's anyone's guess whether it was even proofread]]. It spends a lot more time on fighting strategies than stage mechanics, which is pretty useless for a fighting game--the guide outright has nothing to say about the Courtyard. The Konquest section is terribly organized, and clearly based on an early build as none of the information given is remotely correct. Neither the [[FinishingMove Fatalities]] nor the Krypt, two major draws of the game, are described in any real detail. Its attempts at hiding [[SecretCharacter Ghostly Liu Kang]] are too little, [[TrailersAlwaysSpoil too late]], disclosing pretty much everything about him but his name. And the extras are pointless; the fold-out with character bios is practically all wrong, and the Kombat Kodex, meant for an online service, never actually saw use.
* '''"[[https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/6pfmim/this_incredible_poem_by_ready_player_one_author/ Nerd Porn Auteur]]"''' by Creator/ErnestCline (known for ''Literature/ReadyPlayerOne'') is a supposed poem, but to call it poetry would be a crime against language, for not a single line scans in any way. Every single line has a different number of syllables from the ones before or after it, and no attention is paid to the natural rhythm of speech, so it definitely isn't free verse either. The only way it could be passed off as poetry is by having nonstandard line breaks. If that weren't bad enough, the entire poem is just a [[EntitledToHaveYou "Nice Guy"]] complaining about girls sleeping with jocks instead of people like him; despite claiming to dislike the objectification of women, he [[{{Hypocrite}} does so himself]] without any self-awareness. It's included in the poetry collection ''[[https://www.amazon.com/Importance-Being-Ernest-Cline-ebook/dp/B00NMXR16I/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 The Importance of Being Ernest]]'' ([[SimilarlyNamedWorks not to be confused]] with Creator/OscarWilde's [[Theatre/TheImportanceOfBeingEarnest classic play]]), all of which fails at being poetry, resembling blog posts with random line breaks about subjects ranging from ''Series/{{Airwolf}}'' to Nostradamus as your roommate to [[BreadEggsMilkSquick cunnilingus]] -- but "Nerd Porn Auteur" stands out as the worst. After some time, [[CreatorBacklash Cline himself eventually came to agree with the criticism]] and wrote a scathing SelfParody poem to show he no longer held these attitudes.

* '''''Org's Odyssey''''' by Duke Otterland is a ClicheStorm of a fantasy novel about Org of Otterland, a hero born from the daughter of a god who must save Anglia from evil. The beginning explains how the Anthropians came to be, but it comes off as PurpleProse. Moreover, the battles are unfair -- the good guys outnumber the evildoers [[OneSidedBattle seven to one]]. See the reviews [[http://www.amazon.com/Orgs-Odyssey-Tale-Post-human-Earth/dp/0595316794 here.]]
* '''''The Overton Window''''' by Glenn Beck is a thriller about how awesome people like Beck are fighting left-wing extremists-- except it wasn't written by Beck at all, but rather ghostwritten by Jack Henderson, who in 2005 [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/glenn-becks-new-novel-abo_b_613861.html wrote a very similar novel]] called ''Circumference of Darkness'' where the bad guys are right-wing lunatics. That would be forgivable if the story itself was good, but that isn't the case. It has been called one of the worst works of literature ever written; the ''Los Angeles Times'' called it less a train wreck than "[[http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jun/23/entertainment/la-et-rutten-20100623 a lurching, low-speed derailment halfway out of the station]]", and the ''Washington Post'' is [[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/14/AR2010061405423.html inclined to agree]], as is [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-steps-to-writing-successful-suspense-with-glenn-beck/ Cracked]]. José describes its awfulness [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=100XL1eON6Y here.]] How terrible is the [[PurpleProse prose]]? Here's an excerpt:

* '''''Reaper's Creek''''' by Greg Jackson, better known as Onision, is his third foray into literature. While his first two books were bad, this is much, much worse. In it, a boy named Daniel is [[AlienAbduction abducted by aliens]] and given powers -- first, he can just sense dead bodies, but he gets so many more NewPowersAsThePlotDemands that he becomes more powerful than God and [[RageAgainstTheHeavens fights him]]. Almost every challenge he faces is resolved instantly, and anything resembling real difficulty comes off as artificial. Daniel is a borderline SociopathicHero who goes against his own [[ThouShaltNotKill moral code]] in the blink of an eye, such as when he kills a SerialKiller and his accomplices (including the one who [[UnintentionallySympathetic was blackmailed into doing it]]). There's a graphic sex scene between Daniel and his girlfriend, when [[{{Squick}} he's 12 and the girlfriend is 16]]. There are various grammar and spelling errors, and perhaps the most telling is one where Daniel is accidentally referred to as "[[HerCodeNameWasMarySue Greg]]". It's so bad, [[WebVideo/TheBookWasBetter Krimson Rogue]] did a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiJfGq-iyp0 two]]-[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djTgW-1HHKg hour]] rant on it and dubbed it worse than his known BerserkButton, ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga''.
* '''''Das Reich Artam''''' by Volkmar Weiss is an AlternateHistory set in a victorious UsefulNotes/NaziGermany which even exists more than 100 years later. If you think this could be problematic to write, you'd be right -- while he doesn't say so outright, the author seems to have a bit too much sympathy for the Nazis and not too much for their democratic successors who wreck the Reich. Add some soft porn for "controversy" and a scene about developing NewSpeak copied almost word-by-word from ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour'', and you've got a stinker for the ages.

* '''''La Septima M''''' (''The Seventh M'') is the first published book by Chilean author Francisca Solar, a YA/paranormal detective novel about the investigation of a series of strange suicides in southern Chile. The main characters are an impossibly beautiful and talented young female forensic investigator (whom the author calls a "Thanatologist" in one of the worst cases of SeparatedByACommonLanguage in the Spanish language) who has an unspecified disorder and takes medication with vaguely defined and inconsistent effects, a detective with NoSenseOfHumor whose investigative capacities are more of an InformedAbility, and an obnoxious photographer who was intended as PluckyComicRelief but comes as TheScrappy instead. The [[TownWithADarkSecret location]] reeks of [[ArgentinaIsNaziland Chile is Naziland]], every bad police procedural cliché is played straight, the "mystery" is practically ripped off an ''[[Series/TheXFiles X-Files]]'' filler episode, some of the very tense situations happen in Hanna-Barbera cartoon style (including what may be the worst attempt at playing the ScoobyDoobyDoors for drama), PlotHoles abound, and the IdiotBall is passed around like a volleyball match. All the former and the [[PurpleProse very purple and pretentious writing]] would make the book [[SoBadItsGood hilarious]] in other circumstances, but here they dogpile to slog the text and infuriate the reader. A sequel (named ''El Hada de las Cadenas'', "''The Faerie of Chains''") was eventually written and published, but the editorial decided to release it as digital-only -- which was its death-knell, as Chile is not a place where digital content is widely sought after.

* '''''The World Rose''''', a self-published novel by former ''Countdown'' champion Richard Brittain, rose to infamy after he drove several hundred miles to [[DisproportionateRetribution assault a young woman for giving a negative review]], but beyond that, the book itself is just bad -- it's dull, [[PurpleProse full of superfluous wording of a fuchsia hue]], and the characters within are bland Mary Sues, particularly the main female character. It has an average review score of 1.72 on Goodreads with 350+ ratings and 100 reviews. However, what truly makes it despicable is the fact that the main character was purposefully based on a woman [[StalkerWithACrush he had stalked from his university days who wanted nothing to do with him]], even giving the character the same name and writing a detailed blog post about a planned PR stunt that revolved around tracking down this woman and [[CapturedOnPurpose faking her kidnapping]] (unsurprisingly, she not only declined but was disturbed that Brittain had managed to track her down). Said main character is sexualized enough that the woman who was assaulted by the author called her "boobilicious" in her review.

-->-- '''Smart Bitches, Trashy Books''' on "Top Ten Signs You're Reading A Very Bad Romance Novel" [[https://web.archive.org/web/20130118121112/http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/books/extras/top-ten-signs-youre-reading-a-very-bad-romance-novel (archive.org link)]]

'''''Important Notes''''':

** In 2010, she/they wrote ''The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists: (Book 1) The Land of the Moepek''. Full of bland powerhouses, dull conversations that have nothing to do with the plot, misuse of the word "sarcastically" and lots of grammatical errors.
** ''[[http://www.amazon.com/ANTIGUA-Land-Fairies-Wizards-Heroes/dp/1425997821 ANTIGUA: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes]]''[[note]]No relation to the real-life Caribbean island.[[/note]] is just as bad. It's most notable for featuring at least as many exclamation marks as it does full stops. [[ArtisticLicenseGeography At one point, a character actually takes a train from Britain to England]]. The excerpt available on Amazon is SoBadItsGood, but the novelty wears thin before long. It purports to be a teen novel, but reads like a book written for ''preschoolers'' due to its terse narration and dialogue. Denise blatantly advertised her/their book in review sections and insulted people who tried to give her advice. And there's a genuine, unironic 4-star review that was blatantly written by Denise, Larry, or somebody close to them.
* '''Dario Ford''' [[note]]real name Bozhidar Gospodinov; also known as Darko Ford[[/note]] has published several books on Amazon with others listed on Goodreads. [[note]]''Skywalker''/''The Aliens and the Earth's Water, Ravenclaw, Dark Force, EMP Effect'', ''Calabrian Vendetta'', ''The Secret Side of the Moon (Calabrian Vendetta 2)'', ''Ethan and the Aliens'', ''Who Are You, MR (sic) Rayne?'', ''Franchise/StarWars: A Jedi On Earth'', and ''[='=]Ndrangheta''[[/note]] All are poorly-written and barely edited works that desperately try to emulate Creator/TerryPratchett and Creator/TomClancy, without any of the intelligence, charm, or style. His books probably would have gone unnoticed -- [[VeryFalseAdvertising had he not tried to claim]] that Pratchett and Clancy ''co-wrote'' many of these books, that the former also contributed a foreword to ''Skywalker'' (in reality, the book apparently doesn't have a foreword at all!), and that ''Dark Force, EMP Effect'', ''[='=]Ndrangheta'', and ''A Jedi on Earth'' are officially-licensed ''Literature/JackRyan'' and ''Star Wars'' books, respectively. As you might guess, neither of them wrote a single word of any of Ford's books, there's no evidence either ''A Jedi on Earth'' or his ''Jack Ryan'' books are official, and Ford's attempts to capitalize on the popularity of ''Star Wars'' and especially Pratchett and Clancy's deaths with half-assed stories is a disgusting joke. Ford has also given five-star reviews to all his books; on at least one occasion, he even posted two of them on the same book. At least two of his book covers also feature [[BlatantLies blatantly faked]] review quotes claimed to be from ''The New York Times'' and ''Entertainment Weekly'', as well as claiming to be published (again, without any evidence) by Random House.
* '''Michael Pearl''' is an [[FameThroughInfamy infamous]] [[TheFundamentalist Independent Baptist]] pastor who, alongside his wife '''Debi''', advocates the "Pearl method", a bizarre and horrific philosophy on family dynamics that can be summed up as "any family where the mother is anything more than [[StayInTheKitchen the father's slave]] and [[AbusiveParents accomplice in tormenting the children]] is Satanic". They primarily spread their beliefs through [[VanityPublishing vanity-published]] guidebooks.
** ''To Train Up A Child'', published in 1994, is a parent's guide based on the "Pearl Method" but more commonly called a "child abuse manual". Among other things, it says beating your kids is not only okay but mandated by God; it recommends [[KickTheDog pulling a newborn's hair]] if they bite while breastfeeding; it lists the best methods and implements for hitting your kids without leaving bruises; it suggests that you trap your child and then punish them for falling for it; and claims that if you don't do these things, you don't really love your kids. Most of it also comes with highly questionable Biblical justifications. These methods have been [[https://web.archive.org/web/20200112064124/https://www.babble.com/mom/to-train-up-a-child-teaches-punishment-that-kills-kids/ proven to kill children]], which is unsurprising given that the intent is to violently discourage ''normal child behavior'', and makes the Christian aspects highly ironic given that the parents of those children ended up violating [[ThouShaltNotKill a Commandment]]. The Pearls (perhaps unsurprisingly) have called medical professionals and child protection services "[[GodwinsLaw the Gestapo]]" for their natural reaction to their methodology. It's no wonder Rational Wiki [[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/To_Train_Up_a_Child finds their stance on child discipline]] even more extreme than ''[[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]]'''s. Rachel Oates dissects this book in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5miNERB1Pe0 two]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUXgbsSqvoE parts]], and in the latter video she is [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness clearly on the verge of tears]].

** ''The Blah Story'' is the second-longest novel, contains the longest English sentence, and the second-longest coined English word. That sounds like it might be SoBadItsGood, but the book replaces every other word with "blah blah blah", leading to sentences like "In a blah she was blah blah blah down a blah between blah roses blah blah blah her blah blah hair blah blah gently the blah blah trees..." The length alone should scare you -- when you consider that Robert Jordan's ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime'' has 4,012,859 words, and it's made up of 15 {{Doorstopper}}s, and then see that ''The Blah Story'' has over ''11 million'' words, you know you'll be in for a bad time.[[note]]The claimant for longest novel, Mark Leach's ''Marienbad My Love'', is over 17 million words and is [[ProceduralGeneration generated entirely by Markov chain]].[[/note]]
** ''Scarlett Johansson Asked Artie Lange: "Are You Too Fat To Fish Some Natalie Portman?" He Answered: I Must Have Sex With Adriana Lima, Robin Quivers & Eva Longoria Parker As They're My Life Calendar'', is just as bad. It's a lot like ''The Blah Story'' in that it replaces actual words with phrases like "tra la la", "taram pam pam", and "ha ha ha" so that the sentences (and thus the book) make no sense.

* Several publishers try to make money by printing Website/{{Wikipedia}} articles and then ''selling'' them -- when you can just go online and get them for free. These books seem to be compiled almost entirely by machine, preserving any spelling errors and [[WikiVandal vandalism]] the original articles might have had and doing other truly bizarre things:
** '''Alphascript Publishing''' and '''Betascript Publishing''' claim to have published over 300,000 books -- and they're all like this. Each book's cover claims it contains "High-Quality Content by WIKIPEDIA Articles!" Each book is titled after one of the articles in it, when there are several more unrelated articles, which is why ''Giving Circles'' contains the article on the United Kingdom (and also on [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giving_circle giving circles]], but that makes up a single page of the 108-page book). Its [[http://brianbusby.blogspot.com/2011/10/alpha-beta-dada.html covers]] are epic failures; for instance, ''Fieseler Fi 167'' shows a [[ArtisticLicenseMilitary C-130]], and ''1867 Canadian Election'' shows [[EpicFail the United States flag]]. Many of these books were only 40-50 pages long, and yet they sold them for up to $100. Although they were printed on demand, many of them were listed on Amazon as "temporarily out of stock". Thankfully, they stopped doing this in 2013.

* '''''101 WACKY Computer Jokes''''' by J.B. and G.C. Stamper is one of the worst joke books ever made, and that's saying something. Every single "joke" is a cheap, nonsensical pun based loosely around some computing term -- for example, "What did the prisoner do when he got a computer? He ESCAPED!" (Get it? 'Cuz there's an [-ESCAPE-] key!) Its worst segment is the "Presidents of the Computed States of America", which is just the names of UsefulNotes/ThePresidentsOfTheUnitedStates turned into lame computer puns -- but not ''all'' the presidents, just five of them. And all of them have their own page, with just the pun, not even an illustration. Seanbaby tore into this book in the third part of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-geek-humor-books-by-authors-who-understand-neither/ this Cracked article.]]

* '''''[[Literature/TheAdventuresOfStefonRudel Die Abenteuer des Stefón Rudel]]''''' (''The Adventures of Stefón Rudel'') is the German equivalent of ''Literature/TheEyeOfArgon'' or ''FanFic/MyImmortal'' [-[[RecycledInSpace IN SPACE]]-]! Lackluster writing, a morass of PlotHoles, poor pacing, [[FlatCharacter flat]] or [[UnintentionallyUnsympathetic creepy characters]] -- by golly, it's all there! The protagonist is Stefan, a six-year-old [[SelfInsertFic self-insert]] of the author, who is forced to flee with his parents from Mars to "World-Earth" (there's a "Main Earth", but it's only mentioned once). In the space of only a few months, he's adopted by UsefulNotes/JacquelineKennedy and then later by [[ThoseWackyNazis Hans-Ulrich Rudel]], moves from Occupied Germany to "[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Itörnetie Plato]] 18", changes his name to [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign Stefón]], enrolls in the "Mars Centauri", picks up a ridiculous number of military ranks -- on Earth and in space, and falls in love with several girls. While [[ImprobableAge remaining six years old]]. [[https://www.klopfers-web.de/stefonrudel.php This German guy]] {{MST|ing}}ed the book, commenting that it reads like it's written by a child raised on old ''Franchise/FlashGordon'' comics, war films, military magazines, and German adult humor. German [=YouTuber=] [=ReziMafia=] shares her opinions on the novel [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz8ndSfX9K0 here]]. Or head to Amazon [[https://www.amazon.de/Abenteuer-Stef%C3%B3n-Rudel-Stefan-Knapp/dp/8490156484/ref=sr_1_1?__mk_de_DE=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91&keywords=Die+Abenteuer+des+Stef%C3%B3n+Rudel&qid=1583835713&s=books&sr=1-1 to see for yourself]].
* '''''Literature/AlfiesHome''''' ''(1993)'' is a vicious attack on homosexuality aimed inexplicably at ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids children]]''. It's about Alfie, a boy who's [[RapeAndSwitch molested]] by his CreepyUncle which, of course, [[RapeAndSwitch makes you gay]]. However, he ends up being saved by [[CureYourGays conversion therapy]] (which had been discredited decades earlier and is in fact illegal in several jurisdictions). The boy's uncle, meanwhile, pulls a KarmaHoudini. There are as many holes in the plot as there are in the logic. And the barebones, inconsistent illustrations defy all perspectives and could have been made in UsefulNotes/MSPaint; they look like drunken ''WesternAnimation/SchoolhouseRock'' concept sketches. And if that wasn't enough, one of the pages actually has a ''homophobic slur'' (you can probably guess which one) in a speech bubble! WebVideo/InfamousSphere reads the book [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jLMlqydz4w here]].

* ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'' fans can be very argumentative on what constitutes good media, but '''''Literature/BerserkTheFlameDragonKnight''''' is a rare case where very few fans are willing to defend it. Written by the screenwriter of [[Anime/Berserk2016 the 2016 anime]] and focusing on the background of Grunbeld, a second-tier character from the manga's later run, the resulting story seems to embody all the worst traits of writers attempting to mimic the manga's notorious CrapsackWorld without the actual skill. The prose hovers between "blandly matter-of-fact" and "barely comprehensible", with frequent grammatical mishaps and the whole thing reading less like a story and more like a description of a more interesting one. Sexual violence is used insanely liberally (which given its source material is saying a lot), with a graphic scene of genital mutilation and multiple gang rapes happening in the first twenty pages, which pairs poorly with the BeigeProse (four sentences get dedicated to describing Grunbeld's penis at one point). Grunbeld himself is given almost no coherent motivation and few humanizing traits beyond "wants to fight things", and his DealWithTheDevil, the moment the novel is supposed to be built around, breaks one of the major themes of the series by making his sacrifice not be an actual sacrifice. The only redeeming trait of the novel is that Creator/KentaroMiura did illustrations for it, but even that's a bitter pill for many fans to swallow, as it meant his artwork was being spent on this project.

* '''''The Book of the Ninja''''' wins the award for the most useless martial arts manual of all time. It's a supposed "ninja manual" that includes "deadly fighting secrets" and cautions the reader not to kill people with them. But within are the most laughable "fighting techniques" in history; the book should caution that they could get the ''reader'' killed. The photos have nothing to do with the moves they depict and look more like [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing vague limb flailing]]. It's also horribly put together; the photos are practically xeroxed on the pages, and the AboutTheAuthor page devolves into a tangent about ninjas. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf61Z58jKwY This video]] does a pretty good job of tearing it apart.
* '''''The Chalice of Origins''''' from Isabel Canet Ferrer, is an attempt to cash in on the Young Adult novel craze [[TwoDecadesBehind years after it had ended.]] It stars a girl with facial deformities from an accident [[InformedAttribute (Not that it comes up very often)]], who becomes the pivotal player in a battle between various Italian paintings as the sole wielder of the eponymous sacred weapon. [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot Except all of this is just an excuse]] for Ferrer to show off her knowledge of art. Continuity, pacing, and dialogue are beyond-amateurishly rendered, the plot twists are so obvious that TheUntwist would be ''less'' surprising, and the [[RomanticPlotTumor romantic subplot does little more than overtake the story]]. Its lasting legacy was that Ferrer became a laughing stock among readers and critics for chasing a trend that had long since gone by.

* '''''Mermaid's Kiss and Siren's Song''''' is a poorly disguised ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' fanfic published on Amazon. All the characters are thinly-veiled {{Expies}} and one-dimensional, there's RougeAnglesOfSatin everywhere, and rather [[{{Squick}} disgusting]] metaphors are used to describe a character's hair in the first chapter alone. One piece of evidence to the novel being a Final Fantasy VII fic with the names changed is how one character, named "Gamba Dumey", is at one point referred to as "Gamba Dumey Wallace"[[note]]Wallace being the last name of the character Barret.[[/note]]. As for the rest of the novel, [[https://www.amazon.com/dp/1419617710#customerReviews the reviews]] speak for themselves.

* '''''Mermaid's Kiss and Siren's Song''''' is a poorly disguised ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' fanfic published on Amazon. All the characters are thinly-veiled {{Expies}} and one-dimensional, there's RougeAnglesOfSatin everywhere, and rather [[{{Squick}} disgusting]] metaphors are used to describe a character's hair in the first chapter alone. One piece of evidence to the novel being a Final Fantasy VII fic with the names changed is how one character, named "Gamba Dumey", is at one point referred to as "Gamba Dumey Wallace". As for the rest of the novel, [[https://www.amazon.com/dp/1419617710#customerReviews the reviews]] speak for themselves.

There are some books you pick up and read, then put down and never pick up again. These books, once you've read them, may make you want to hurl them against the nearest wall, or tear out every last page so that ''no one else'' can ever pick them up again. Nobody of any political affiliation would object to you [[BookBurning burning these books in particular]].

* '''''The Chalice of Origins''''' from Isabel Canet Ferrer, is an attempt to cash in on the Young Adult novel boom [[TwoDecadesBehind years after it had ended.]] It stars a girl with facial deformities from an accident [[InformedAttribute (Not that it comes up very often)]], who becomes the pivotal player in a battle between various Italian paintings as the sole wielder of the eponymous sacred weapon. [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot Except all of this is just an excuse]] for Ferrer to show off her knowledge of art. Continuity, pacing, and dialogue are beyond-amateurishly rendered, the plot twists are so obvious that TheUntwist would be ''less'' surprising, and the [[RomanticPlotTumor romantic subplot does little more than overtake the story]]. Its lasting legacy was that Ferrer became a laughing stock among readers and critics for chasing a trend that had long since gone by.

* '''''Diary of a Lonely Demon''''', by Jon David, is a classic example of an author using an [[InvincibleHero obnoxiously perfect]] AuthorAvatar to push a hateful message. In a nutshell, the story revolves around one Jasper Davis, a {{wangst}}y self-insert who blames everything that's wrong with his life on [[StrawFeminist evil women]]. Jasper then runs into Morgalla Smythe, a demon girl who [[LoveRedeems apparently became a Christian thanks to her newfound boyfriend]]. All of a sudden, [[ClicheStorm demons show up]], and it's up to Jasper and Morgalla to stop them. It's ultimately an AuthorTract on [[TheUnfairSex how women are wrong and how Jon is right]]. The author sets up a plethora of flat characters, adds a dash of blatant racism, sexism, and other offenses, and caps it all off with a metric shit-ton of grammatical errors and plot holes. Many passages are just copied from other works, and the author [[SmallNameBigEgo suffers from an inability to take constructive criticism properly]].

* '''''The Chalice of Origins''''' from Isabel Canet Ferrer, is a mediocre YA-esque novel about a girl with a face deformed after an accident [[InformedAttribute (Not that it comes up very often)]] who finds herself being the pivotal player in a battle played by various Italian paintings, and the sole wielder of the sacred weapon of the Chalice of Origins. [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot The plot could've worked]] but it's mostly just an excuse for the writer to flex her artistic knowledge, and it doesn't fully take advantage of the setting. With continuity errors gallore, dialogue that switched between cringe and {{Narm}}, plot twists so obvious that you'd swear they were going for a RedHerring, poorly paced sequences (At one point, the protagonist is said to need to go to a certain painting, and we're treated to various pages explaining its importance and difficulty reaching. Next page, she already is there), a RomanticPlotTumor the size of a peach and a general sense of amateurishness, the book has been lambasted by Spanish readers and by critics and is considered at best an attempt to cash in on the Young Adult novel boom [[TwoDecadesBehind years after it had ended.]]

* '''''The Chalice of Origins''''' from Isabel Canet Ferrer, is a mediocre YA-esque novel about a girl with a face deformed after an accident [[InformedAttribute (Not that it comes up very often)]] who finds herself being the pivotal player in a battle played by various Italian paintings, and the sole wielder of the sacred weapon of the Chalice of Origins. [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot The plot could've worked]] but it's mostly just an excuse for the writer to flex her artistic knowledge, and it doesn't fully take advantage of the setting. With continuity errors gallore, dialogue that switched between cringe and {{Narm}}, plot twists so obvious that you'd swear they were going for a RedHerring, poorly paced sequences (At one point, the protagonist is said to need to go to a certain painting, and we're treated to various pages explaining its importance and difficulty reaching. Next page, she already is there), a RomanticPlotTumor the size of a peach and a general sense of amateurishness, the book has been lambasted by Spanish readers and by critics and is considered at best an attempt to cash in on the Young Adult genre [[TwoDecadesBehind years after it had ended.]]

* '''''Touched by Venom''''' by Janine Cross, better known as ''The "Venom Cock" Book'', would have barely been a blip if not for the Internet. The closest one can get to a plot summary is to say that ''Literature/DragonridersOfPern'', ''Literature/{{Gor}}'', and ''Literature/ClanOfTheCaveBear'' get thrown in a blender with extra helpings of pain, suffering, and sex with dragons. It takes FromBadToWorse to [[DeusAngstMachina ludicrous degrees]]: The Dragon Temple screws Zarq's serf enclave out of all their worldly possessions on a technicality? Sell Zarq's sister into [[AFateWorseThanDeath sex slavery]] to buy food and supplies. Mom schemes to get her back? The scheme backfires, resulting in Dad's execution and Mom and Zarq's banishment. (Also, Mom's pregnant, and they're kicked out immediately after she gives birth to a son she's not even allowed to hold.) They find refuge in a convent that houses old dragons? Just in time for Mom to drop dead! Then Zarq has to undergo [[{{Gorn}} "circumcision"]] to be considered "clean and holy". The nuns hold fertility rites with the old dragons. And that just takes you halfway through the book; after that, the damage spreads to people other than Zarq. To Cross' credit, she never tries to pretend that it's anything other than a CrapsackWorld, and the sequels (while not ''good'') are a significant improvement and explain many of the baffling plot points in ''Venom'', but the book doesn't stand on its own.

# To ensure that the work is judged with a clear mind and the hatred isn't just a knee-jerk reaction, as well as to allow opinions to properly form, '''[[Administrivia/NoRecentExamplesPlease examples should not be added until at least one month after release]]'''.

* '''''Franchise/{{Pokemon}} and Franchise/HarryPotter: A Fatal Attraction''''' by Phil Arms is the worst of the many books designed to warn frightened parents about [[NewMediaAreEvil hot new franchises]]. Despite the name, [[NeverTrustATitle most of the book]] is about ''Pokémon'', with ''Harry Potter'' only getting a single chapter. Arms clearly knew nothing about either franchise and [[ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch admits outright that he's never seen, read, or played anything from either one]], apparently getting most of his information from internet forums dedicated to criticizing them. He seems to think that you can kill, maim, and steal in a ''Pokémon'' game, and that ''Pokémon'' and ''Franchise/{{Digimon}}'' are the same thing (a clear indication of someone who doesn't know what he's talking about). Although the average Amazon [[http://www.amazon.com/Pokemon-Harry-Potter-Fatal-Attraction/product-reviews/1575580675/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop/192-5176829-5466719?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending#R230APTPXBBOZO review]] is sitting at a 4.1, most of the five-star reviews are obviously written by {{troll}}s.

* '''"[[https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/6pfmim/this_incredible_poem_by_ready_player_one_author/ Nerd Porn Auteur]]"''' by Creator/ErnestCline (known for ''Literature/ReadyPlayerOne'') is a supposed poetry book, but to call it poetry would be a crime against language, for not a single line scans in any way. Every single line has a different number of syllables from the ones before or after it, and no attention is paid to the natural rhythm of speech, so it definitely isn't free verse either. The only way it could be passed off as poetry is by having nonstandard line breaks. If that weren't bad enough, the entire poem is just a [[EntitledToHaveYou "Nice Guy"]] complaining about girls sleeping with jocks instead of people like him; despite claiming to dislike the objectification of women, he [[{{Hypocrite}} does so himself]] without any self-awareness. It's included in the poetry collection ''[[https://www.amazon.com/Importance-Being-Ernest-Cline-ebook/dp/B00NMXR16I/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 The Importance of Being Ernest]]'' ([[SimilarlyNamedWorks not to be confused]] with Creator/OscarWilde's [[Theatre/TheImportanceOfBeingEarnest classic play]]), all of which fails at being poetry, resembling blog posts with random line breaks about subjects ranging from ''Series/{{Airwolf}}'' to Nostradamus as your roommate to [[BreadEggsMilkSquick cunnilingus]] -- but "Nerd Porn Auteur" stands out as the worst. After some time, [[CreatorBacklash Cline himself eventually came to agree with the criticism]] and wrote a scathing SelfParody poem to show he no longer held these attitudes.

* Creator/GloriaTesch rose to infamy thanks to her [[VanityPublishing vanity-published]] series ''Literature/MaradoniaSaga''. The books themselves are styled as a "trilogy", but there are [[TrilogyCreep five of them]][[note]]A sixth book, ''Maradonia and the Battle for the Key'', was advertised but never published[[/note]]. The first two entries are 700-page {{Doorstopper}}s, while the third only has about 400 pages; she then [[DividedForPublication split up the first two books]], and thus we get five. All the books are riddled with awful formatting, [[DesignatedHero callous and self-absorbed protagonists]], and [[RandomEventsPlot a confusing story]] that plagiarizes from other far more credible works. Among the "exciting" plot elements are a talking grasshopper, an antagonist with a "Club of Evil" that sings "Mother Earth songs" and has a water park, and random use of the salsa dance. Tesch's father [[Creator/GerryTesch Gerry]] bankrolled her and backed her up with an army of lawyers and {{Sock Puppet}}s to promote the books (and silence their critics). Tesch was billed as "[[VeryFalseAdvertising the world's youngest novelist]]", even though people younger than her had published much better books before she did. Gerry even funded a [[Film/MaradoniaAndTheShadowEmpire film adaptation]], which [[Horrible/LiveActionFilmsGToM was also poorly received]] and appears to have bankrupted him. Impish Idea has a {{Spork}} of the entire series [[http://impishidea.com/tag/maradonia-%28series%29/ here]]. As of 2020, Tesch seems to have tried her best to [[BuryYourArt suppress the series]], effectively disowning ''Maradonia''.

* '''Creator/GloriaTesch''':
** Tesch rose to infamy thanks to her [[VanityPublishing vanity-published]] series ''Literature/MaradoniaSaga''. The books themselves are styled as a "trilogy", but there are [[TrilogyCreep five of them]][[note]]A sixth book, ''Maradonia and the Battle for the Key'', was advertised but never published[[/note]]. The first two entries are 700-page {{Doorstopper}}s, while the third only has about 400 pages; she then [[DividedForPublication split up the first two books]], and thus we get five. All the books are riddled with awful formatting, [[DesignatedHero callous and self-absorbed protagonists]], and [[RandomEventsPlot a confusing story]] that plagiarizes from other far more credible works. Among the "exciting" plot elements are a talking grasshopper, an antagonist with a "Club of Evil" that sings "Mother Earth songs" and has a water park, and random use of the salsa dance. Tesch's father [[Creator/GerryTesch Gerry]] bankrolled her and backed her up with an army of lawyers and {{Sock Puppet}}s to promote the books (and silence their critics). Tesch was billed as "[[VeryFalseAdvertising the world's youngest novelist]]", even though people younger than her had published much better books before she did. Gerry even funded a [[Film/MaradoniaAndTheShadowEmpire film adaptation]], which [[Horrible/LiveActionFilmsGToM was also poorly received]] and appears to have bankrupted him. Impish Idea has a {{Spork}} of the entire series [[http://impishidea.com/tag/maradonia-%28series%29/ here]]. As of 2020, Tesch seems to have tried her best to [[BuryYourArt suppress the series]], effectively disowning ''Maradonia''.

** ''Literature/TheSecretOfMoonLake'', written under the pseudonym Sofia Nova and promoted as her debut novel, is not much better. The guy who sporked ''Maradonia'' [[http://conjugalfelicity.com/the-secret-of-moon-lake/part-one-what-have-i-gotten-myself-back-in-to/ thinks it's awful]], and the Terrible Book Club [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOlcKNQhXr4 talks about it here]]. The book does have positive reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, but those are most likely AstroTurf.

** She goes on about how ''WesternAnimation/{{The Lion King|1994}}'' supposedly plagiarized from ''Anime/KimbaTheWhiteLion'' when she very clearly hasn't seen ''either'' work. She can't tell ''Kimba''[='=]s Pauley Cracker (a parrot) from ''The Lion King''[='=]s Zazu (a hornbill). She thinks they have the same "rocky terrain" as a setting, when ''Kimba'' mostly takes place in the jungle. She notes that both Claw and Scar are darker-skinned lions with a scar over their left eye -- and misses the massive differences in their characters' personalities, as well as the fact that Claw is a much less prominent character than Scar. She notes that "Kimba" and "Simba" are similar, and fails to pick up on how "Simba" is [[YouAreTheTranslatedForeignWord Swahili for "lion"]].

* '''''Reaper's Creek''''' by Greg Jackson, better known as Onision, is his third foray into literature. While his first two books were bad, this is much, much worse. In it, a boy named Daniel is abducted by aliens and given powers -- first, he can just sense dead bodies, but he gets so many more NewPowersAsThePlotDemands that he becomes more powerful than God and [[RageAgainstTheHeavens fights him]]. Almost every challenge he faces is resolved instantly, and anything resembling real difficulty comes off as artificial. Daniel is a borderline SociopathicHero who goes against his own [[ThouShaltNotKill moral code]] in the blink of an eye, such as when he kills a SerialKiller and his accomplices (including the one who [[UnintentionallySympathetic was blackmailed into doing it]]). There's a graphic sex scene between Daniel and his girlfriend, when [[{{Squick}} he's 12 and the girlfriend is 16]]. There are various grammar and spelling errors, and perhaps the most telling is one where Daniel is accidentally referred to as "[[HerCodeNameWasMarySue Greg]]". It's so bad, [[WebVideo/TheBookWasBetter Krimson Rogue]] did a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiJfGq-iyp0 two]]-[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djTgW-1HHKg hour]] rant on it and dubbed it worse than his known BerserkButton, ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga''.

* ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'', by '''Nancy Stouffer''', rose to infamy after Stouffer claimed that Creator/JKRowling took inspiration from her book for her ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series. She filed a FrivolousLawsuit on this basis, which she lost comprehensively and which [[BileFascination drew interest in her works]] -- and a realization of how ''bad'' they were. A small-time publisher tried to [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity cash in]] on the scandal and did a small printing run, only to quickly go bankrupt. ''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them. Its main problem is that it can't seem to decide what it wants to be -- it's equal parts dark apocalyptic drama, [[SweetnessAversion sickeningly sweet fantasy]], children's GhostStory, and fable about where stars come from (which mostly gets tacked on at the end). ''Very'' briefly: The protagonists are twins who, as infants, are [[MosesInTheBulrushes sent away from a post-apocalyptic wasteland]] by their mother (who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]) and end up in the land of the eponymous Muggles. One of the twins is AlwaysSecondBest and becomes the antagonist, while his brother Rah is the nominal hero but [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]]. The Muggles are [[UnintentionalUncannyValley grotesque, almost infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation. Their land is stuck in a nuclear winter -- until the twins bring the sun back. Somehow. They also have a "lemonade lake" and a character who keeps changing ages. The plot isn't about Rah redeeming his brother so much as trying to defeat him -- which is easy, because he does things like getting horrendously sick by [[IdiotBall keeping his hideout in a ridiculously irradiated tree]]. It reads as if nothing was planned out in advance, and everything ends up being ridiculous.

* '''''101 WACKY Computer Jokes''''' by J.B. and G.C. Stamper is one of the worst joke books ever made, and that's saying something. Every single "joke" is a cheap, nonsensical pun based loosely around some computing term -- for example, "What did the prisoner do when he got a computer? He ESCAPED!" (Get it? 'Cuz there's an [-ESCAPE-] key!) Its worst segment is the "Presidents of the Computed States of America", which is just the names of UsefulNotes/ThePresidentsOfTheUnitedStates turned into [[IncrediblyLamePun lame computer puns]] -- but not ''all'' the presidents, just five of them. And all of them have their own page, with just the pun, not even an illustration. Seanbaby tore into this book in the third part of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-geek-humor-books-by-authors-who-understand-neither/ this Cracked article.]]

* ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'', by '''Nancy Stouffer''', rose to infamy after its writer, Nancy Stouffer, claimed that Creator/JKRowling took inspiration from her book for her ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series. She filed a FrivolousLawsuit on this basis, which she lost comprehensively and which [[BileFascination drew interest in her works]] -- and a realization of how ''bad'' they were. A small-time publisher tried to [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity cash in]] on the scandal and did a small printing run, only to quickly go bankrupt. ''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them. Its main problem is that it can't seem to decide what it wants to be -- it's equal parts dark apocalyptic drama, [[SweetnessAversion sickeningly sweet fantasy]], children's GhostStory, and fable about where stars come from (which mostly gets tacked on at the end). ''Very'' briefly: The protagonists are twins who, as infants, are [[MosesInTheBulrushes sent away from a post-apocalyptic wasteland]] by their mother (who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]) and end up in the land of the eponymous Muggles. One of the twins is AlwaysSecondBest and becomes the antagonist, while his brother Rah is the nominal hero but [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]]. The Muggles are [[UnintentionalUncannyValley grotesque, almost infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation. Their land is stuck in a nuclear winter -- until the twins bring the sun back. Somehow. They also have a "lemonade lake" and a character who keeps changing ages. The plot isn't about Rah redeeming his brother so much as trying to defeat him -- which is easy, because he does things like getting horrendously sick by [[IdiotBall keeping his hideout in a ridiculously irradiated tree]]. It reads as if nothing was planned out in advance, and everything ends up being ridiculous.

* ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'' by '''Nancy Stouffer''' who claimed to have inspired Creator/JKRowling's ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series. She filed a FrivolousLawsuit on this basis, which she lost comprehensively and which [[BileFascination drew interest in her works]] -- and a realization of how ''bad'' they were. A small-time publisher tried to [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity cash in]] on the scandal and did a small printing run, only to quickly go bankrupt. ''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them. Its main problem is that it can't seem to decide what it wants to be -- it's equal parts dark apocalyptic drama, [[SweetnessAversion sickeningly sweet fantasy]], children's GhostStory, and fable about where stars come from (which mostly gets tacked on at the end). ''Very'' briefly: The protagonists are twins who, as infants, are [[MosesInTheBulrushes sent away from a post-apocalyptic wasteland]] by their mother (who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]) and end up in the land of the eponymous Muggles. One of the twins is AlwaysSecondBest and becomes the antagonist, while his brother Rah is the nominal hero but [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]]. The Muggles are [[UnintentionalUncannyValley grotesque, almost infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation. Their land is stuck in a nuclear winter -- until the twins bring the sun back. Somehow. They also have a "lemonade lake" and a character who keeps changing ages. The plot isn't about Rah redeeming his brother so much as trying to defeat him -- which is easy, because he does things like getting horrendously sick by [[IdiotBall keeping his hideout in a ridiculously irradiated tree]]. It reads as if nothing was planned out in advance, and everything ends up being ridiculous.

* Creator/BobChipman's '''''Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick-by-Brick''''' touts itself as the definitive analysis of ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3'' but fails in every way. Right from the start, it's bogged down by a badly-told history of the franchise that encompasses almost the first third of the book, random tangents that have nothing to do with anything, fringe far-left political opinions that even most leftists would disavow and are also [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment completely irrelevant to the topic]], stories from Chipman's personal life that might be interesting if not for Chipman coming across as highly immature and egotistical (with statements likening the reveal of ''[=SMB3=]'' in ''Film/TheWizard'' to the JFK assassination and the Nintendo/Sega UsefulNotes/ConsoleWars to Vietnam becoming [[MemeticMutation memetic]], and ''not'' in a positive way), spelling and grammar errors that betray a lack of copy-editing, and massive amounts of ego-stroking. As a piece of analysis, ''Brick by Brick'' fails as the portion describing ''Super Mario Bros. 3'' consists of dull steps-by-steps descriptions of every level in the game broken up by the occasional personal musing, with preciously little attempt to go beyond surface-level observations or describe what makes it tick as a game. There's a reason he [[CreatorBacklash has since disowned it]], along with all of his other books. The book has a 2.20 on Goodreads, with the top reviewer saying they'd rather stare at a vase or eat sand than read the book. You can listen to Terrible Book Club discuss the book [[https://terriblebookclub.com/episodes/episode-52-super-mario-bros-3-brick-by-brick-by-s1!31843 here]]. [=ProcrastiTara=] also reviews the book [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvEyVBEQh84&t=1672s here]], where she dubs it ''worse'' than Onision's books.

* '''Nancy Stouffer''' is a writer who gained infamy in 1999 for claiming that her 1984 books ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'' and ''Larry Potter and his Best Friend Lilly'' inspired Creator/JKRowling's ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series. Aside from some similarities in the names, the only things she could point to were flimsy comparisons like both books containing "characters in tights" or "wooden doors"--concepts which would be [[Administrivia/PeopleSitOnChairs laughed off the Trope Launch Pad]], never mind the US Patent and Trademark Office or the UK's Intellectual Property Office. She filed a FrivolousLawsuit on this basis, which she lost comprehensively and which [[BileFascination drew interest in her works]] -- and a realization of how ''bad'' they were. A small-time publisher tried to [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity cash in]] on the scandal and did a small printing run, only to quickly go bankrupt.
** ''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them. Its main problem is that it can't seem to decide what it wants to be -- it's equal parts dark apocalyptic drama, [[SweetnessAversion sickeningly sweet fantasy]], children's GhostStory, and fable about where stars come from (which mostly gets tacked on at the end). ''Very'' briefly: The protagonists are twins who, as infants, are [[MosesInTheBulrushes sent away from a post-apocalyptic wasteland]] by their mother (who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]) and end up in the land of the eponymous Muggles. One of the twins is AlwaysSecondBest and becomes the antagonist, while his brother Rah is the nominal hero but [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]]. The Muggles are [[UnintentionalUncannyValley grotesque, almost infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation. Their land is stuck in a nuclear winter -- until the twins bring the sun back. Somehow. They also have a "lemonade lake" and a character who keeps changing ages. The plot isn't about Rah redeeming his brother so much as trying to defeat him -- which is easy, because he does things like getting horrendously sick by [[IdiotBall keeping his hideout in a ridiculously irradiated tree]]. It reads as if nothing was planned out in advance, and everything ends up being ridiculous.
** ''Larry Potter and His Best Friend Lilly'' has no real story other than "Larry Potter has a lot of friends", which is well below the standards of children's literature. The illustrations are even worse than Stouffer's other book, with the two protagonists [[{{Gonk}} looking nothing like human beings at all]]. The covers are also notable for being blatantly ripped off from the cover format of the original Bloomsbury editions of ''Harry Potter'', though needless to say she claimed the plagiarism was in the other direction.

* The ''Franchise/{{Halo}}'' franchise has seen many books released over its long run, and while many of them vary in quality from great to mediocre, the one novel both [[FanonDiscontinuity fans]] and [[WriterRevolt 343 Industries]] would like to forget about is '''''Literature/HaloGlasslands''''' by Creator/KarenTraviss. Already infamous for her tendency to [[AuthorTract use her books as platforms to]] [[AuthorFilibuster voice her own opinions on the]] [[WriterOnBoard franchises she writes for]], this book can be best described as an officially published RevengeFic directed at [[AntiHero Dr. Halsey.]] The plot is constantly screeched to a halt as the characters angst over how terrible Halsey and the SPARTAN-II program are, with some of them being massive {{Hypocrite}}s in the process (the SPARTAN-III program, which involved turning children orphaned by the Human-Covenant war into glorified CannonFodder, evidently being perfectly ethical.) What time that isn't spent ranting about Halsey is instead spent on the protagonists [[DesignatedHero trying to incite civil war among the Sangheili faction most determined to maintain peaceful relations with mankind,]] making for a book rancid with MoralMyopia. Traviss's next two books for the series were somewhat better, but not enough to redeem her or her first entry in the eyes of the fandom.

* Creator/BobChipman's '''''Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick-by-Brick''''' touts itself as the definitive analysis of ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3'' but fails in every way. Right from the start, it's bogged down by a badly-told history of the franchise that encompasses almost the first third of the book, random tangents that have nothing to do with anything, fringe far-left political opinions that even most leftists would disavow and are also [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment completely irrelevant to the topic]], stories from Chipman's personal life that might be interesting if not for Chipman coming across as highly immature and egotistical (with statements likening the reveal of ''[=SMB3=]'' to the JFK assassination and the Nintendo/Sega UsefulNotes/ConsoleWars to Vietnam becoming [[MemeticMutation memetic]], and ''not'' in a positive way), spelling and grammar errors that betray a lack of copy-editing, and massive amounts of ego-stroking. As a piece of analysis, ''Brick by Brick'' fails as the portion describing ''Super Mario Bros. 3'' consists of dull steps-by-steps descriptions of every level in the game broken up by the occasional personal musing, with preciously little attempt to go beyond surface-level observations or describe what makes it tick as a game. There's a reason he [[CreatorBacklash has since disowned it]], along with all of his other books. The book has a 2.20 on Goodreads, with the top reviewer saying they'd rather stare at a vase or eat sand than read the book. You can listen to Terrible Book Club discuss the book [[https://terriblebookclub.com/episodes/episode-52-super-mario-bros-3-brick-by-brick-by-s1!31843 here]]. [=ProcrastiTara=] also reviews the book [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvEyVBEQh84&t=1672s here]], where she dubs it ''worse'' than Onision's books.

* '''''Touched by Venom''''' by Janine Cross, better known as ''The "Venom Cock" Book'', would have barely been a blip if not for the Internet. The closest one can get to a plot summary is to say that ''Literature/DragonridersOfPern'', ''Literature/{{Gor}}'', and ''Literature/ClanOfTheCaveBear'' get thrown in a blender with extra helpings of pain, suffering, and sex with dragons. It takes FromBadToWorse to [[DeusAngstMachina ludicrous degrees]]: The Dragon Temple screws Zarq's serf enclave out of all their worldly possessions on a technicality? Sell Zarq's sister into [[AFateWorseThanDeath sex slavery]] to buy food and supplies. Mom schemes to get her back? The scheme backfires, resulting in Dad's execution and Mom and Zarq's banishment. (And Mom's pregnant, and they're kicked out immediately after she gives birth to a son she's not even allowed to hold.) Do they find refuge in a convent that houses old dragons? Just in time for Mom to drop dead! Then Zarq has to undergo [[{{Gorn}} "circumcision"]] to be considered "clean and holy". The nuns hold fertility rites with the old dragons. And that just takes you halfway through the book; after that, the damage spreads to people other than Zarq. To Cross' credit, she never tries to pretend that it's anything other than a CrapsackWorld, and the sequels (while not ''good'') are a significant improvement and explain many of the baffling plot points in ''Venom'', but the book doesn't stand on its own.

* Creator/BobChipman's '''''Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick-by-Brick''''' touts itself as the definitive analysis of ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3'' but fails in every way. Right from the start, it's bogged down by a badly-told history of the franchise that encompasses almost the first third of the book, random tangents that have nothing to do with anything, fringe far-left political opinions that even most leftists would disavow and are also [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment completely irrelevant to the topic]], stories from Chipman's personal life that might be interesting if not for Chipman coming across as highly immature and egotistical (with statements likening the reveal of ''[=SMB3=]'' to the JFK assassination and the Nintendo/Sega UsefulNotes/ConsoleWars to Vietnam becoming [[MemeticMutation memetic]], and ''not'' in a positive way), spelling and grammar errors that betray a lack of copy-editing, and massive amounts of ego-stroking. As a piece of analysis, ''Brick by Brick'' fails as the portion describing ''Super Mario Bros. 3'' consists of dull steps-by-steps descriptions of every level in the game broken up by the occasional personal musing, with preciously little attempt to go beyond surface-level observations or describe what makes it tick as a game. There's a reason he [[CreatorBacklash has disowned it]], along with all of his other books. The book has a 2.20 on Goodreads, with the top reviewer saying they'd rather stare at a vase or eat sand than read the book. You can listen to Terrible Book Club discuss the book [[https://terriblebookclub.com/episodes/episode-52-super-mario-bros-3-brick-by-brick-by-s1!31843 here]]. [=ProcrastiTara=] also reviews the book [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvEyVBEQh84&t=1672s here]], where she dubs it ''worse'' than Onision's books.

* '''''Literature/ListOfTheLost''''' is Music/{{Morrissey}}'s first foray into literary fiction and, self-evidently, should be his last. So unsalvageable, one critic compared hiring an editor for it to hiring "a doctor to help a corpse that had fallen from the top of the [[UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity Empire State Building]]." The story is of four high school track stars' fortunes turning sour after they kill and dump a homeless man. But the book is really about [[WriterOnBoard every single one of Morrisey's pet peeves]], including UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill, UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily, the court system, the meat industry, and [[HeManWomanHater women in general]]. All else is anciliary; the plot follows no order and serves no purpose but to slot in {{Author Tract}}s, and there's no sense or characterization or even character voice. The story proper barely makes up a fraction of the 118 pages, compared to the in-character tirades. And despite its length, it's an excruciatingly dull and slow read, thanks to the at times nigh-unparseable PurpleProse. It begs suspension of disbelief that one of the most important names in AlternativeRock history had ever picked up a pen before in his life. Seamas O'Reilly does a more thorough dissection of it than we're capable of [[https://www.balls.ie/the-rewind/morrissey-novel-390800?utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=article&utm_medium=web here]].