History Funny / ZeroPunctuation7

'''Yahtzee's Avatar:''' ''[shouting into a phone]'' '''BRING A GUN!'''

-->'''Yahtzee:''' Semi-regularly you walk into a room or open a cupboard and the game goes "Think fast!" and a little face hugger will rocket towards you like the fucking KillerRabbit from ''[[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail Monty Python]]'' and go "Hee hee hee! Free damage for me! ''Omnomnomnomnomnomnom''," and you have to mash a button to rip it off. ''[said "facehugger" is depicted as a slug going '[[CatSmile :3]]' before latching onto Jacob Lee's face]''

* His final point on the difference between ''The Callisto Protocol'' and other horror games, in how it merely frustrates him instead of horrifying him.

* Describing the open world of the game, which Yahtzee considers pointless, as akin to "an astroturf lawn nailed to the side of a toybox". Cut to [[LiteralMetaphor an illustration of that very thing]], along with a very confused child staring at him.

* Yahtzee makes it seem like he's about to defend the game, only for it to wind up being a bait and switch:

-->'''Yahtzee:''' Did you know you can get Marvel superhero branded reusable diapers? If you needed holiday gift giving advice. Perfect for the person in your life who worries that the time they spend rinsing infant diarrhoea out of cloth takes them away from thinking about the Incredible Hulk. I’m not saying superheroes are overexposed, or that top level entertainment media is so perversely fixated on them that you can't even make a Scorsese-inspired gritty character piece unless [[Film/Joker2019 you say it's about the Joker]], or that future civilizations will probably regard the [[Toys/FunkoPop Funko Pop]] industry the same way we regard the extinct Easter Islanders who cut down all their trees to make more stone heads, or that I bet Creator/BenedictCumberbatch [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers insists on kissing with his eyes open]] -- sorry, lost my train of thought there. Anyway, if you’re not quite satisfied with your superhero branded dinnerware and your superhero branded poo bags and your superhero branded gritty character pieces, now you can also enjoy superhero branded ''VideoGame/FireEmblemThreeHouses'', in the form of ''Marvel Midnight Suns''. It's not quite as deep or pretty as ''Fire Emblem: Three Houses'', [[DamnedByFaintPraise but maybe if you promise to buy it for your four year old]] [[BrickJoke they'll agree to start shitting in the fucking toilet again]]. [[LampshadeHanging Well]], ''[[LampshadeHanging that]]'' [[LampshadeHanging opening paragraph]] [[{{Metaphorgotten}} was all over the fucking place]], but hey, I learned it from you, ''Marvel Midnight Suns''.

[[folder: Yahtzee Goes to GDC 2023]]

[[folder: Assassin's Creed Mirage]]

[[folder: Sonic Superstars]]

[[folder: Marvel's Spider-Man 2]]

* Yahtzee makes the same joke twice about Marle slapping her butt, which is later called out by his future self glancing at his past self.
-->"[[DidntWeUseThisJokeAlready Haven't we already done this gag]]"

** Sergey, the protagonist of ''Atomic Heart'', is depicted with the head of Zangief from ''VideoGame.StreetFighter''.

[[folder:El Paso Elsewhere and ? ]]

* Yahtzee describing ''VideoGame/{{Stray}}'' and ''VideoGame/MultiVersus'' as "Creator/{{Annapurna|Interactive}}'s smash hit bumhole-licking simulator and that one ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros]]'' knockoff where Shaggy from ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo'' beats up [[WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies1984 the Muppet Babies]] or whatever" respectively.

** Eventually, Pelloni's attempt to get a Nintendo [=DS=] development kit, which included a "protest" where he locked himself inside his house for 100 days and streamed said protest with a webcam, ends up as a ShaggyDogStory:

* The RunningGag of the episode where every time Robert Pelloni has some big news to announce, the announcement is always met with "[[ButForMeItWasTuesday a resounding 'Okay.']]" At the end, when Pelloni announces that he is cancelling the successful Website/{{Kickstarter}} for the game and refunding the backers, so much time has passed that the reaction is somewhat different:

* Yahtzee noting that after the whole debacle was finished, Robert Pelloni's website is now only filled with nonsensical religious ramblings (i.e., telling people to "Get off the Internet Porn!"). This leads to Yahtzee deducing that at least ''one'' of the lessons of "the saga of 'Bob's Game'" is "Don't be a 'Cadbury's Fruit & Nutcase'" (accompanied by [[VisualPun a picture of said chocolate bar with a cross through it]]).
* The review then ends with Yahtzee delivering the ending {{A|nAesop}}esop over how an artist should never put too much of themselves into a certain artwork: "[I]f you want to be a creative, but refuse to work within the established systems out of fear of compromising your perfect artistic vision, then there's only one thing to be said to you: 'Yes, I would like fries with that.'" Bonus points for how Yahtzee depicts his BurgerFool workplace as being "[=McDonner=] Party" as a CallBack to the ''Ravenous Devils'' review.

* The episode's heartwarming intro transitioning into Yahtzee venting his irritation at the game's [[TheScrappy annoying kid character]].
-->I've got kids now. Yeah, that makes you feel old; yeah, you are put into a constant state of stupefaction by the existence of entropy; can we ''please'' stop banging on about it? "Didn't you once say you'd rather go at your joy department with cheese wire and a sewing machine than have kids, Yahtz?" [[CharacterDevelopment Well, people change!]] Having a kid changes you! It did something to my brain -- I've started seeing babies as ''cute'', rather than overgrown tardigrades with money vacuums on one end and [=McDonald=]'s chocolate milkshake dispensers on the other. I can't even enjoy dead baby jokes anymore 'cause inevitably I picture my own baby, and the imagined grief ultimately outweighs getting to sleep in again.\\
\\
I tell you all of this to add a necessary context to the following statement: the little boy in the ''Plague Tale'' games is a shitbag and I hope he ''dies''. Every time the camera lingers on his glimmering, uncomprehending eyes like the light reflected off two buckets of stale cum, I want to grab his jug ears and twist until his neck cracks like the many party poppers I will subsequently employ. That should immediately bring across the root of my main issue with ''A Plague Tale: Requiem'' (no [[RunningGag dry heave]] anymore, it's a franchise now): that the protagonist's sole driving motivation is to appease a little cockgoblin that any sane person would yeet out the back of the donkey cart at the first bend of a rocky mountain path.
* He then goes on about Amicia being written as basically an {{Expy}} of Lara Croft from the ''Franchise/TombRaider'' reboot trilogy:

* Despite moving to California, Yahtzee remains unimpressed by San Francisco (and gleefully takes the opportunity to make life difficult for his editor).
--> "I can certainly recommend the experience if you're really really interested in seeing lots of different hotel rooms. Maybe not if you don't like sprinting back and forth across downtown San Francisco to meet appointments at different hotels. Fortunately San Francisco said 'Oh you poor harrassed journalists, here's some lovely sunny weather to ease your burden' on the first day. On the second day, it pissed down, so Nick the editor was forced to call an Uber to cross three blocks and I was subsequently forced to call him a great big sook.[[note]]UK slang, a timid person or crybaby[[/note]]

** What really sells is that; during the "prejudiced against the non-sentient" part, Yahtzee's avatar stands over a toaster lying in a hospital bed, and then [[VorpalPillow uses a pillow to choke the life out of said toaster]], while never breaking eye-contact with the viewer.

-->'''Yahtzee:''' But be realistic, Jacob Lee! You're hardly ''VideoGame/SilentHill'' material, you'd need to learn more than two facial expressions besides Stupid Confused and Stupid Neutral!\\

* Because of the second game's review embargo moving, and Yahtzee having no time to make a backup review, he instead opts to censor out the entire game and all identifying information. And it's a complete laugh riot, especially as the review goes on and more and more tangential things get censored.

[[Funny/ZeroPunctuation Funny (Non-ZP)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation1 Zero Punctuation 1 (2007 - 2010)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation2 Zero Punctuation 2 (2011 - 2013)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation3 Zero Punctuation 3 (2014 - 2016)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation4 Zero Punctuation 4 (2017 - 2019)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation5 Zero Punctuation 5 (2020)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation6 Zero Punctuation 6 (2021)]] | '''Zero Punctuation 7 (2022 - )'''

* Yahtzee decides to starts off on a {{pun}}.

* While describing the gameplay of World Tour, training with the rest of the cast is depicted by Yahtzee meeting Blanka, who gives him a car battery and tell him to "strap this to your nuts".

After criticizing the game and noting that the series hasn't really brought anything new to the table, Yahtzee is asked what the franchise needs to do to please him.

''(Yahtzee is silent for a few seconds)''\\

'''Yahtzee:''' What?! You told me not to say it!

* Because of the second game's review embargo moving, and Yahtzee having to time to make a backup review, he instead opts to censor out the entire game and all identifying information. And it's a complete laugh riot, especially as the review goes on and more and more tangential things get censored.