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Changed line(s) 153 (click to see context) from:
'''Randall:''' This...isn't actually a question. But thank you for sharing!
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'''Randall:''' This...isn't actually a question. But thank you for sharing!sharing![[labelnote:AltText]]i don't know how all these words got on my screen.[[/labelnote]]
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* Someone decides to share [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ this story]] that leaves Randall momentarily confused.
-->'''R.D.:''' When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced.\\
'''Randall:''' This...isn't actually a question. But thank you for sharing!
-->'''R.D.:''' When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced.\\
'''Randall:''' This...isn't actually a question. But thank you for sharing!
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Changed line(s) 69 (click to see context) from:
--> "The Earth rotates,[[[http://www.timecube.com/ Citation Needed]]] which means its midsection is being flung outward by centrifugal force. [[labelnote:1]]Which is still a [[http://xkcd.com/123/ real thing]].[[/labelnote]] This centrifugal force isn't strong enough to overcome gravity and tear the earth apart, but it's enough to flatten the earth slightly and make it so you weight almost a pound less at the Equator than you do at the poles. [[labelnote:2]]This is due to several effects, including centrifugal force, the flattened shape of the earth, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the fact that]] if you go [[CanadaEh far enough toward the pole in North America]] people start offering you poutine.[[/labelnote]]
to:
--> "The Earth rotates,[[[http://www.timecube.com/ Citation Needed]]] which means its midsection is being flung outward by centrifugal force. [[labelnote:1]]Which is still a [[http://xkcd.com/123/ real thing]].[[/labelnote]] This centrifugal force isn't strong enough to overcome gravity and tear the earth apart, but it's enough to flatten the earth slightly and make it so you weight almost a pound less at the Equator than you do at the poles. [[labelnote:2]]This is due to several effects, including centrifugal force, the flattened shape of the earth, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the fact that]] if you go [[CanadaEh [[MooseAndMapleSyrup far enough toward the pole in North America]] people start offering you poutine.[[/labelnote]]
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
'''Megan:''' No it doesn't.\\
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'''Megan:''' No it doesn't.\\ ('''AltText:''' Why would that sound reasonable. Why would you say that.)\\
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'''Megan:''' It isn't.\\
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'''Megan:''' It isn't.\\ ('''AltText:''' What's wrong with you?)\\
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'''Megan:''' Fine.
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'''Megan:''' Fine. ('''AltText:''' But we shouldn't be.)
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Changed line(s) 150 (click to see context) from:
--> Google has a handy tool for looking up the amount of potassium in foods, which even lets you select specific pizza brands. But for some reason, if you select Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza, your only serving size options are either [[FalseDichotomy "1 slice" or "40 pizzas."]] Nothing in between.
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--> Google has a handy tool for looking up the amount of potassium in foods, which even lets you select specific pizza brands. But [[GoodBadBugs for some reason, reason]], if you select Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza, your only serving size options are either [[FalseDichotomy "1 slice" or "40 pizzas."]] Nothing in between.
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* Footnote 2 in [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/158/ Hot Banana]]:
--> Google has a handy tool for looking up the amount of potassium in foods, which even lets you select specific pizza brands. But for some reason, if you select Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza, your only serving size options are either [[FalseDichotomy "1 slice" or "40 pizzas."]] Nothing in between.
--> Google has a handy tool for looking up the amount of potassium in foods, which even lets you select specific pizza brands. But for some reason, if you select Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza, your only serving size options are either [[FalseDichotomy "1 slice" or "40 pizzas."]] Nothing in between.
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--> '''(asked by Nate Yu)''' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE[...]EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
---> I feel you, Nate.
---> I feel you, Nate.
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Changed line(s) 178,179 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://imgur.com/a/wKKJw All. Of. This.]] Some highlights include Creator/StanLee [[SelfDeprecation firing the writers of the comic after reading this issue]], Galactus trying to get some money by pawning the Silver Surfer, and the hypothetical "What if The Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in a snowstorm?"[[note]]Answer: a blank white page[[/note]]
** Even funnier? Canonically, '''all''' of these gag strips ''actually happened'' somewhere within the Marvel Multiverse.
** Even funnier? Canonically, '''all''' of these gag strips ''actually happened'' somewhere within the Marvel Multiverse.
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* [[http://imgur.Issue #34 is a collection of absurd one-page gags that are pure silliness. [[https://imgur.com/a/wKKJw All. Of. This.]] Some highlights include Creator/StanLee [[SelfDeprecation firing from the writers of the comic after reading this issue]], single panels]]:
** Galactustrying tries to get some money by pawning the Silver Surfer, Surfer. Much to his dissatisfaction, the man running the exchange tells him the price of silver is going down.
** "What if Reed Richards had ''not'' invented unstable molecules?" posits a reality where the [[MySuitIsAlsoSuper Fantastic Four's outfits don't accommodate their powers.]] [[RubberMan Reed Richards]] gripes about nobody taking him seriously due to his belly button showing, [[{{Invisibility}} Sue Storm]] laments that she lacks the daring to be an InvisibleStreaker, and [[WreathedInFlames Johnny Storm]] keeps burning all his clothes off whenever he uses his powers.
--->'''Johnny Storm:''' Anyone know where I can get asbestos jockey shorts?
** A sighted Daredevil [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere runs away]] from his RoguesGallery, refusing to fight them because "they look dangerous!"
** Thor gets a haircut, only to find that his helmet now falls over his eyes because his hair was holding it in place.
** "What if Spider-Man Had Married thehypothetical Black Widow?" has an outcome that riffs off the nature of spiders: we're shown the aftermath of Peter Parker being ''eaten'', complete with a BurpOfFinality from Natasha Romanov.
** Tony Stark owning an automobile plant instead of a weapons factory results in him building a car-themed suit and being dubbed "The Invincible Limo-Man".
** Bruce Banner not having MagicPants results in the Hulk [[HandOrObjectUnderwear sheepishly covering his naughty bits with his hands]] while letting out a very quiet "Oops."
** "What if The Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in asnowstorm?"[[note]]Answer: snowstorm?" Answer: a blank white page[[/note]]
page.
**Even funnier? Canonically, '''all''' One of these gag strips ''actually happened'' somewhere within Aunt May's potential superhero identities in "What If Aunt May Became a Super Hero?" is the Marvel Multiverse.Astonishing [[{{Pun}} Ant-Aunt]].
** The final comic is "What Will Happen when Creator/StanLee Reads This Issue?" He is not amused.
--->'''Stan Lee: YOU'RE ALL FIRED!''' 'Nuff said!
** Galactus
** "What if Reed Richards had ''not'' invented unstable molecules?" posits a reality where the [[MySuitIsAlsoSuper Fantastic Four's outfits don't accommodate their powers.]] [[RubberMan Reed Richards]] gripes about nobody taking him seriously due to his belly button showing, [[{{Invisibility}} Sue Storm]] laments that she lacks the daring to be an InvisibleStreaker, and [[WreathedInFlames Johnny Storm]] keeps burning all his clothes off whenever he uses his powers.
--->'''Johnny Storm:''' Anyone know where I can get asbestos jockey shorts?
** A sighted Daredevil [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere runs away]] from his RoguesGallery, refusing to fight them because "they look dangerous!"
** Thor gets a haircut, only to find that his helmet now falls over his eyes because his hair was holding it in place.
** "What if Spider-Man Had Married the
** Tony Stark owning an automobile plant instead of a weapons factory results in him building a car-themed suit and being dubbed "The Invincible Limo-Man".
** Bruce Banner not having MagicPants results in the Hulk [[HandOrObjectUnderwear sheepishly covering his naughty bits with his hands]] while letting out a very quiet "Oops."
** "What if The Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in a
**
** The final comic is "What Will Happen when Creator/StanLee Reads This Issue?" He is not amused.
--->'''Stan Lee: YOU'RE ALL FIRED!''' 'Nuff said!
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Changed line(s) 116 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/120/ "Alternate Universe What Ifs"]] is a series of unexplained and deadly [[NoodleIncident Noodle Incidents]], but one particularly funny one is that, in a world in which every sport is a BloodSport, the deadliest one, with an average of comfortably over ten player deaths per game, is somehow ''beach volleyball''.[[note]]For those not familiar, in the real-world, official beach volleyball is played by [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_volleyball#Teams two opposing teams of two players each]], with no substitutions or replacements permitted, meaning the four players have to somehow die at least ten times between them.[[/note]]
to:
* [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/120/ "Alternate Universe What Ifs"]] is a series of unexplained and deadly [[NoodleIncident Noodle Incidents]], but one particularly funny one is that, in does have some levity via a world in which every sport is a BloodSport, chart displaying [[BloodSport the average number of player deaths per game in various sports]].
** The deadliestone, sport, with an average of comfortably over ten player deaths per game, is somehow ''beach volleyball''.[[note]]For those not familiar, in the real-world, volleyball''. Note that official beach volleyball is played by [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_volleyball#Teams two opposing teams of two players each]], with no substitutions or replacements permitted, meaning the four players have to somehow die at least ten times between them.[[/note]]them.
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .2 players once he is "captured". Since hockey matches have twelve players on the ice between the two teams, this suggests Gretzky was regularly performing {{Total Party Kill}}s that included his own teammates.
** The deadliest
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .2 players once he is "captured". Since hockey matches have twelve players on the ice between the two teams, this suggests Gretzky was regularly performing {{Total Party Kill}}s that included his own teammates.
Deleted line(s) 165,167 (click to see context) :
* "[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/120/ Alternate Universe What Ifs]]" has disturbing implications about the kind of DeathWorld where all the excerpts of that world's What-ifs are possible, but the chart displaying the average player deaths per game in various sports has some levity.
** Somehow, ''volleyball'' is the deadliest game on average, being ten times as deadly than games with much more physical contact like American football.
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as once he is "captured" the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .1 players.
** Somehow, ''volleyball'' is the deadliest game on average, being ten times as deadly than games with much more physical contact like American football.
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as once he is "captured" the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .1 players.
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--> ''[[AltText "I am a patient duck."]]''
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--> ''[[AltText "I am "I'm a patient duck."]]''
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* "[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/120/ Alternate Universe What Ifs]]" has disturbing implications about the kind of DeathWorld where all the excerpts of that world's What-ifs are possible, but the chart displaying the average player deaths per game in various sports has some levity.
** Somehow, ''volleyball'' is the deadliest game on average, being ten times as deadly than games with much more physical contact like American football.
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as once he is "captured" the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .1 players.
** Somehow, ''volleyball'' is the deadliest game on average, being ten times as deadly than games with much more physical contact like American football.
** Wayne Gretzky is implied to be single-handedly responsible for hockey being deadlier than volleyball in the 90s, as once he is "captured" the average hockey death rate ''immediately'' dips from over 10 players per game to less than .1 players.
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** He then describes how the plane could fly fairly well in the upper atmosphere -- and then realizes that the category-5 hurricane-force winds and sulfuric acid would also be very bad.
--->Venus is a terrible place.
--->Venus is a terrible place.
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---> Olivia. That is not a small change.
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---> Olivia. That '''That is not a small change.'''
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** "1.875 gigawatts (I lied about stopping). According to ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', the hair dryer is now drawing enough power to travel back in time."
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** "1.875 gigawatts (I lied about stopping). According to ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'', the hair dryer is now drawing enough power to travel back in time."
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** Even funnier? Canonically, '''all''' of these gag strips ''actually happened'' somewhere within the Marvel Multiverse.
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* What If? 2 has more questions, starting with Sadie:
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* What ''What If? 2 2'' has more questions, starting with Sadie:
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* What If? 2 has more short answers for questions:
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* What ''What If? 2 2'' has more short answers for questions:
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Changed line(s) 102 (click to see context) from:
''(asked by Anonymous) What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone???'' \\
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''(asked by Anonymous) What would it take to defeat ''Air Air Force One'' One with a drone???'' \\
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Changed line(s) 104 (click to see context) from:
''(asked by someone named StellaIf I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body in that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?)'' \\
to:
''(asked by someone named StellaIf Stella) If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body in that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?)'' bottom?'' \\
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Changed line(s) 98 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Sadie:''' Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences? \\
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--> '''Sadie:''' ''Sadie: Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences? consequences?'' \\
Changed line(s) 100 (click to see context) from:
'''(asked by someone named Eli)''' How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill or, at least, injure somebody? \\
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Changed line(s) 102 (click to see context) from:
'''(asked by Anonymous)''' What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone??? \\
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Changed line(s) 104 (click to see context) from:
'''(asked by someone named Stella)''' If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body in that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom? \\
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