History Funny / WhatIf

9th Apr '16 3:32:13 PM AuraXtreme
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* How Randall figured out the weight of a 20-inch pizza.
-->'''Footnote 1:''' Citation: I just ordered a pizza to check. I usually steer clear of experimental science in these articles, but am willing to make an exception when it involves eating a bunch of pizza.
8th Mar '16 8:11:12 AM SonicLover
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* [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/42/ Longest Sunset]] kicks off the article by defining what qualifies as a sunset and what doesn't. Examples of the latter include the sun crossing the horizon partway and then reversing direction, the sun ''splitting in two'' and half of it setting, the sun ''landing on the horizon and hatching like an egg'' (AltText: "you bred sun-raptors?"), and a ''square sun'' that doesn't get a chance to do anything before the narration cuts it off (AltText: "aww, man, you didn't even let me try").

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* [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/42/ Longest Sunset]] kicks off the article by defining what qualifies as a sunset and what doesn't. Examples of the latter include the sun crossing the horizon partway and then reversing direction, direction (AltText: "the sun changes its mind and goes back to bed"), the sun ''splitting in two'' two via osmosis'' and half of it setting, setting ("this is half a sunset"), the sun ''landing on the horizon and hatching like an egg'' (AltText: "you ("you bred sun-raptors?"), and a ''square sun'' that doesn't get a chance to do anything before the narration cuts it off (AltText: "aww, ("aww, man, you didn't even let me try").
18th Feb '16 8:34:27 PM AuraXtreme
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* This passage from [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/146/ Stop Jupiter]], while talking about the budget cuts necessary to build enough probes to perform enough gravitational slingshots to, well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin stop Jupiter]].
-->At some point, in our desperate attempts to stop Jupiter's forward speed, we'd be reduced to stuffing handfuls of rocks and dirt into a burlap sack with a NASA logo on the side.
-->''(picture of Cueball and Ponytail doing exactly that)''[[note]][[MythologyGag Nixon famously had William Safire]] prepare [[http://xkcd.com/1484/ a speech]] to give in the event that the burlap sack got too full and split open[[/note]]
-->Then, believe it or not, we would ''[[SerialEscalation run out of rocks]]''.
28th Dec '15 11:13:13 AM Anddrix
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** One What If: "What If ThePunisher Was the Stern But Fatherly Type?" This turns the normally trigger-happy crim-killer Frank Castle into a hilariously stereotypical strict teacher who forces DoctorDoom to sit in a corner and think about what he's done and makes ComicBook/{{Galactus}} write "I Will Not Eat Inhabited Planets" 500 times on a blackboard no bigger than Galactus' foot, forcing the world eater to get down on all fours to write on it!

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** One What If: "What If ThePunisher Was the Stern But Fatherly Type?" This turns the normally trigger-happy crim-killer Frank Castle into a hilariously stereotypical strict teacher who forces DoctorDoom Doctor Doom to sit in a corner and think about what he's done and makes ComicBook/{{Galactus}} write "I Will Not Eat Inhabited Planets" 500 times on a blackboard no bigger than Galactus' foot, forcing the world eater to get down on all fours to write on it!
23rd Sep '15 8:49:05 PM nombretomado
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** One What If: "What If ThePunisher Was the Stern But Fatherly Type?" This turns the normally trigger-happy crim-killer Frank Castle into a hilariously stereotypical strict teacher who forces DoctorDoom to sit in a corner and think about what he's done and makes {{Galactus}} write "I Will Not Eat Inhabited Planets" 500 times on a blackboard no bigger than Galactus' foot, forcing the world eater to get down on all fours to write on it!

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** One What If: "What If ThePunisher Was the Stern But Fatherly Type?" This turns the normally trigger-happy crim-killer Frank Castle into a hilariously stereotypical strict teacher who forces DoctorDoom to sit in a corner and think about what he's done and makes {{Galactus}} ComicBook/{{Galactus}} write "I Will Not Eat Inhabited Planets" 500 times on a blackboard no bigger than Galactus' foot, forcing the world eater to get down on all fours to write on it!
9th Sep '15 10:19:51 AM 8BrickMario
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* [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/75/ "Phone Keypad"]] experiments with comprehensible phrases that can be produced with key restrictions. The resulting phrases and sentences are ridiculous, and become hysterical when illustrated. The AltText on each image is also very funny.
2nd Sep '15 6:26:38 AM TheWildWestPyro
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Added DiffLines:

* "[[https://cboproductions.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/whatifeveryonewhodeverbeenanavengerhadremainedanavenger.jpg What If Everyone Who Had Been An Avenger Remained An Avenger]]" shows a story where the Avengers are now a BadassArmy of various heroes. Sounds good, right? Well, Iron Man decides to assemble all of them to stop...a candy store robbery. Cue the Avengers forming a ThunderingHerd and all charging towards the candy store, while the original members decide that wasn't such a hot idea after all.
* [[http://imgur.com/a/wKKJw All. Of. This.]]
15th Jun '15 6:40:34 AM SonicLover
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--> "Is it possible to drop your teeth's temperature so they shatter when drinking a cup of coffee?"

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--> "Is ''Is it possible to drop your teeth's temperature so they shatter when drinking a cup of coffee?"coffee?''



--> "How many houses catch fire every year in the U.S. and what would the best way to increase that amount by fifteen percent?"

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--> "How ''How many houses catch fire every year in the U.S. and what would the best way to increase that amount by fifteen percent?"percent?''



--> "Can you cry so much you get dehydrated?" by someone called Karl:

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--> "Can ''(asked by someone named Karl) Can you cry so much you get dehydrated?" by someone called Karl:dehydrated?''



--> (asked by someone named Brittany) "Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"

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--> (asked ''(asked by someone named Brittany) "Assuming Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"down"?''
15th Jun '15 6:39:32 AM SonicLover
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* Some of the questions go unanswered in the "Weird and Worrying Questions" segments. Such as "Is it possible to drop your teeth's temperature so they shatter when drinking a cup of coffee?"

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* Some of the questions go unanswered in the "Weird and Worrying Questions" segments. Such as as:
-->
"Is it possible to drop your teeth's temperature so they shatter when drinking a cup of coffee?"



:: "How many houses catch fire every year in the U.S. and what would the best way to increase that amount by fifteen percent?"

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:: --> "How many houses catch fire every year in the U.S. and what would the best way to increase that amount by fifteen percent?"



:: or "Can you cry so much you get dehydrated?" by someone called Karl:

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:: or --> "Can you cry so much you get dehydrated?" by someone called Karl:



:: or "Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?" asked by someone named Brittany:

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:: or --> (asked by someone named Brittany) "Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?" asked by someone named Brittany:down"?"
3rd Jun '15 5:40:24 PM AuraXtreme
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** The article starts by comparing a tall building to stacking peanut butter. We have two images accompany it: one of a "blobby castle on a cracker", and one of a whole lot of peanut butter "smushed flat like a pancake". Funny enough, but then you read the alt-text.
--->Don't let your dad stop you. If he makes you clean it up, sneak the cans to your room and build the tower on the carpet there. You have my permission.
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