History Funny / WelcomeToNightVale

-->Candles lit, runes drawn upon the floor, sacrifice prepared. Everything is ready for the summoning. I begin the incantation. ''[{{beat}}]'' "Shakira, Shakira!"

---> '''Faceless Old Woman:''' I just ate one of your highlighters.

* Cecil's increasingly acidic displays of PassiveAggressiveKombat against Station Management. By the time of episode 44, it's gotten to the point of frequent [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] and Cecil barely even attempting to veil his threats. It's as [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] as it is hilarious.

* Producer Joseph Fink seems to suddenly realise how busy he is:

--> '''Cecil:''' "There he goes, a man who doesn't believe in time-traveling trains or deer-faced destroyer gods, but deny a single angel and he's throwing a fit."

[[AC:105 - What Happend at the Smithwick House]]

* The hilarious image of Sheriff Sam responding to Dana letting him round up the Strangers with a ''heel click'' and a "You won't be sorry, Mayor!"

* In episode 57, "The List," Cecil goes bowling with Old Woman Josie. When Josie bowls, an Erika takes her ball and knocks down all the pins. Since Cecil and the other bowlers cannot legally acknowledge Erika's existence, they have to let her strikes be counted.

* The mental image of Carlos gesturing with a spatula while in the process of science (and cooking, obviously).
* "Finally on this show; something weird to talk about!"
* Cecil eventually consults Carlos about the mountain with the red light, the floodplain and attacking army which has just ''appeared'' outside of Night Vale. Carlos says oh, that's just a mirage, and he's seen it before. Well, except for the attacking army, but, y'know.
** And the attacking army turns out to actually be passing by on their way to attack someplace else. In the mean time, they helped boost Night Vale's local economy.

* The moment you realize that the carnival was just an ordinary friendly carnival with nothing supernatural or evil about it, and that the one time that Night Vale took steps to stave off the terrors of their world was the one time they shouldn't have. Only Maureen figures it out.
-->"This isn't Modesto!"

* Computer programming expert Melanie Pennington suggests that "You'll never guess this!" is the most secure [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish password]] for your computer... even better if you replace all of the characters with zeroes.

* "We don't eat microphones! They're smarter than dolphins!"

* Computer programming expert Melanie Pennington suggests that "You'll never guess this!" is the most secure [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish password]] for your computer...even better if you replace all of the characters with zeroes.

** From the same episode is Cecil's sheepish account of the use (by certain community radio hosts and local scientists) of the dog park as a revolving door to the desert otherworld, which they then broadcast over the airwaves. Apparently. Well, he's not sure. He's not sure of anything, really. who knows? ''He'' doesn't.

* In the live-show "Condos", when Cecil says; "I don't know I've ever mentioned this before, ''but''...Carlos is totally my boyfriend!" It's hard to say which is funnier; Cecil's tone of voice, or the squees of everyone in the audience.

[[Episode 49: Old Oak Doors]]

[[AC:60 - Water Failure]]]]

!!Live Shows
* The show at the LA Podcast Festival was essentially live performances of two older episodes with redone ad bumps, as read by James Urbaniak (as two {{Redshirt}} interns). They're promotions for Creator/{{Hulu}} (which he reads out in an ominous, drawn-out voice: "[[InherentlyFunnyWord Huuuuuuluuuuuuu]].") and a web hosting service (who break out into tears at the sight of your website, as it's already perfect). Imagine [[WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers Rusty Venture]] and you've got it.
* In the live-show "Condos", when Cecil says; "I don't know I've ever mentioned this before, ''but''...Carlos is totally my boyfriend!" It's hard to say which is funnier; Cecil's tone of voice, or the squees of everyone in the audience.
** After he and Carlos both hang up, a flustered Cecil tries to distract a squeeing and giggling audience:
---> "Let's talk about your health."
** That episode's traffic deserves a special mention. [[LemonyNarrator It's all in how Cecil sells it]]:
---> Picture a car. ''({{beat}})'' No. You're doing it wrong. ''Try again.'' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Picture a car]]. ''({{beat}})'' ''Really''? ''That's'' what you picture when you picture a car? All right, look, we'll go with that. I'm not happy about it, but we'll go with your idea of a car for now.
* From "The Debate":
--> '''Cecil:''' One last caller, you are on the air.\\
'''Steve:''' Hi, this is Steve Carlsberg and my question is for Hiram. Hiram~\\
'''Cecil:''' ''NO! NO! STEVE CARLSBERG! WE ARE OUT OF TIME FOR QUESTIONS, GOODBYE!!!!''\\
(Beat filled with audience laughter)\\
'''Cecil:''' (Recomposed) Candidates...
** The Faceless Old Woman recommends selling unused items in homes to raise funds for schools, and gives suggestions- such as Marcus Vansteen's table made from human bones.
---> '''Marcus''': Yeah, and I need that table.
** Marcus later ascends to angelhood. As a result, everyone is forbidden from speaking of him or acknowledging it, still claiming that angels aren't real.
*** During the actual performance of the live show, this is represented by Marcus' VA standing on his tip-toes and gazing up at the theater ceiling.

!!Unsorted
* The mental image of Carlos gesturing with a spatula while in the process of science (and cooking, obviously).
* "Finally on this show; something weird to talk about!"
* Cecil eventually consults Carlos about the mountain with the red light, the floodplain and attacking army which has just ''appeared'' outside of Night Vale. Carlos says oh, that's just a mirage, and he's seen it before. Well, except for the attacking army, but, y'know.
** And the attacking army turns out to actually be passing by on their way to attack someplace else. In the mean time, they helped boost Night Vale's local economy.
* Cecil's increasingly acidic displays of PassiveAggressiveKombat against Station Management. By the time of episode 44, it's gotten to the point of frequent [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] and Cecil barely even attempting to veil his threats. It's as [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] as it is hilarious.
* Promoting TheMerch, ''Night Vale'' style:
--> '''Meg Bashwinner''' ("the proverb lady")''':''' ''Night Vale'' t-shirts, you want them, we got them. And if you don't want them, please listen to these hypnotic tones: ''aahhhhmmmm. aaaaaahhhhhhmmm. aaahhhhhmmm''turtles''ahhhhmmmm.'' Okay, now that you want them...
* The moment you realize that the carnival was just an ordinary friendly carnival with nothing supernatural or evil about it, and that the one time that Night Vale took steps to stave off the terrors of their world was the one time they shouldn't have. Only Maureen figures it out.
-->"This isn't Modesto!"
* Producer Joseph Fink seems to suddenly realise how busy he is:
--> It's just a week until our Europe tour! ...Oh, Jesus, it's just a week until our Europe tour!
* In episode 62, an official announcement that all murder or attempted murder is now illegal is interrupted by questions from a rather distressed reporter, who is not at all the literally [[AxeCrazy Axe Crazy]] Night Vale Daily Journal editor Leann Hart.

** And later;

* In episode 67, right on the heels of reporting a tragic death, Cecil tearfully remembers to remind us that the show is sponsored by Shasta cola.
* 69 (Fashion Week): A sphere is ridding the town of people who aren't dressed "hip" enough. It arrives at the station, and Cecil admits he doesn't really care to dress for Fashion Week.

* 70A: Carlos continues to describe sciencing in very literal tones.

* 75, "Civic Changes", features a CloudCuckooLander phone call from John Peters, you know, the farmer, who describes the behaviour of a silent, standing crowd which eventually turns out to be [[spoiler:a cornfield]]. He is also briefly sidetracked by the sun:

* In the Librarian, Cecil calls Carlos to see what he thinks about the situation. Carlos proceeds to describe his scientific surroundings with an increasingly distracted and, well, [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything suggestive tone.]] Cecil's reply really summarizes it best:

-----

[[AC:29 - Subway]]
* A strange, creepy child messenger sent by the City Council comes to Cecil during his recording and, afterwards, stares at him. Cecil's biggest concern is that he doesn't know what to do with the messenger - or any of the rest that the City Council keeps sending him - and wonders if anyone else would like to have the kid.

[[AC:36 - Missing]]
* After a segment advertising the Night Vale Community College's open house, Cecil finishes by telling the audience not to go to the open house because it's a set up.
-->"Thinking of furthering your education? Considering taking winter semester classes? Well, it's a trap. Do not go near the Night Vale Community College this Friday. Ha! Nice try, ''giant worms''."

* In Episode 31, the president of Night Vale Community College turns out to be a river-smooth stone in her attitude to the controversial miniseries - because she is actually, ''literally'' a rock. When approached for comment on a recent news development, she writes "no comment" (as she is a rock and cannot speak) and subsequently draws an insulting caricature of Cecil. His feelings are understandably hurt.

* The exasperated way Cecil plows through the [[spoiler: [=StrexCorp=]]] announcement in Episode 33. It's blatantly obvious that he's just rushing through to get it over with. The soundtrack dissonance only makes it funnier.

!!Unsorted
* The mental image of Carlos gesturing with a spatula while in the process of science (and cooking, obviously).
* "Finally on this show; something weird to talk about!"
* The show at the LA Podcast Festival was essentially live performances of two older episodes with redone ad bumps, as read by James Urbaniak (as two {{Redshirt}} interns). They're promotions for Creator/{{Hulu}} (which he reads out in an ominous, drawn-out voice: "[[InherentlyFunnyWord Huuuuuuluuuuuuu]].") and a web hosting service (who break out into tears at the sight of your website, as it's already perfect). Imagine [[WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers Rusty Venture]] and you've got it.
* Episode 35 has [[spoiler: time slowing down all over the world, causing life to end]] and Cecil is glad that he got to see the end to ''Series/BreakingBad''.
* In episode 24, THE BROWNSTONE SPIRE makes an appearance, where Cecil has an ominous voice and reverb whenever he mentions the former. After a while it sounds like he's just messing around with filters as the effect gets increasingly out of sync with when he says it.
** "[The Mayor] increased funding for the cancer ward at the Night Vale Hospital...and now, anyone who ''wants cancer'' can get cancer! Whether or not they have health care or a reason to live!"
* From Episode 38, Cecil, facing John Peters, you know, the [[spoiler:''imposter'']], detailing the long, heartfelt message he wanted to send to Carlos in case he did not survive the encounter - then deciding that the message would be too long for a text and simply using the phone to knock John Peters, you know, the [[spoiler:''imposter'']], unconscious.

* Cecil eventually consults Carlos about the mountain with the red light, the floodplain and attacking army which has just ''appeared'' outside of Night Vale. Carlos says oh, that's just a mirage, and he's seen it before. Well, except for the attacking army, but, y'know.
** And the attacking army turns out to actually be passing by on their way to attack someplace else. In the mean time, they helped boost Night Vale's local economy.
* In the live-show "Condos", when Cecil says; "I don't know I've ever mentioned this before, ''but''...Carlos is totally my boyfriend!" It's hard to say which is funnier; Cecil's tone of voice, or the squees of everyone in the audience.
** After he and Carlos both hang up, a flustered Cecil tries to distract a squeeing and giggling audience:
---> "Let's talk about your health."
** That episode's traffic deserves a special mention. [[LemonyNarrator It's all in how Cecil sells it]]:
---> Picture a car. ''({{beat}})'' No. You're doing it wrong. ''Try again.'' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Picture a car]]. ''({{beat}})'' ''Really''? ''That's'' what you picture when you picture a car? All right, look, we'll go with that. I'm not happy about it, but we'll go with your idea of a car for now.
* In episode 42, one of the cuts to the gradually rebelling voice of the WZZZ numbers station has her singing KatyPerry's "Roar" at the top of her lungs. Cecil is left completely baffled and wondering if and ''how'' this could be part of a sinister plot.
* Cecil's increasingly acidic displays of PassiveAggressiveKombat against Station Management. By the time of episode 44, it's gotten to the point of frequent [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] and Cecil barely even attempting to veil his threats. It's as [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] as it is hilarious.
* From "The Debate"
--> '''Cecil:''' One last caller, you are on the air.\\
'''Steve:''' Hi, this is Steve Carlsberg and my question is for Hiram. Hiram~\\
'''Cecil:''' ''NO! NO! STEVE CARLSBERG! WE ARE OUT OF TIME FOR QUESTIONS, GOODBYE!!!!''\\
(Beat filled with audience laughter)\\
'''Cecil:''' (Recomposed) Candidates...
** The Faceless Old Woman recommends selling unused items in homes to raise funds for schools, and gives suggestions- such as Marcus Vansteen's table made from human bones.
---> '''Marcus''': Yeah, and I need that table.
** Marcus later ascends to angelhood. As a result, everyone is forbidden from speaking of him or acknowledging it, still claiming that angels aren't real.
*** During the actual performance of the live show, this is represented by Marcus' VA standing on his tip-toes and gazing up at the theater ceiling.
* From "Parade Day", Cecil 'non-nonchalantly' intoducing a guest speaker:

** This exchange

** The Faceless Old Woman waiting for the mayoral election results

* Promoting TheMerch, ''Night Vale'' style:
--> '''Meg Bashwinner''' ("the proverb lady")''':''' ''Night Vale'' t-shirts, you want them, we got them. And if you don't want them, please listen to these hypnotic tones: ''aahhhhmmmm. aaaaaahhhhhhmmm. aaahhhhhmmm''turtles''ahhhhmmmm.'' Okay, now that you want them...
* This particular bit from "The September Monologues";

* The moment you realize that the carnival was just an ordinary friendly carnival with nothing supernatural or evil about it, and that the one time that Night Vale took steps to stave off the terrors of their world was the one time they shouldn't have. Only Maureen figures it out.
-->"This isn't Modesto!"

* Producer Joseph Fink seems to suddenly realise how busy he is:
--> It's just a week until our Europe tour! ...Oh, Jesus, it's just a week until our Europe tour!

* Episode 60: the water department customer service line. All of it.

* From episode 61:
** [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "Today's broadcast is sponsored by Kobe Beef."]]
** The [[GovernmentConspiracy "vague, yet menacing government agency's"]] excuses to trick Cecil into saying their [[TriggerPhrase secret code word]] ('''''BRINY DEPTHS''''', said in the same eerie tone as the announcement of '''''THE BROWN STONE SPIRE'''''):

* After a segment advertising the Night Vale Community College's open house, Cecil finishes by telling the audience not to go to the open house because it's a set up.
-->"Thinking of furthering your education? Considering taking winter semester classes? Well, it's a trap. Do not go near the Night Vale Community College this Friday. Ha! Nice try, ''giant worms''." (episode 36)
* Why does the City Council [[CrazyPrepared already have]] a [[spoiler: Wheat-and-Wheat-Byproducts Bunker]] built? [[spoiler: ''Prophecy.'']]

** Any time Hiram is mentioned, really. There's something hilarious about the idea of a massive, five-headed fire breathing dragon who has his own blog and wants to run for mayor.
*** Especially his incredibly nonchalant first mention: "[=McDaniels=] is described as a five-headed dragon."

* While Cecil is generally pretty accepting of the City Council's [[BlatantLies explanations]] for the various strange events that occur around town- if only because he knows better than to question the City Council- even ''he'' has difficulty accepting the cover-up for the attacks and vandalism by the feral dog pack.

* In Episode 21, one of the mayor's staffers decides to get in some "denial practice":
** She was then heard to deny the sky, the existence of a loving deity, and eggs. "Eggs aren't real," she said. "Nuh-uh. Show me an egg. That's not an egg. What's an egg? Who let you in here?"
** In that same episode, a masterpiece of ArsonMurderAndJaywalking.
--->"The world ended three or four decades ago," she scrawled on a Subway sandwich wrapper. "I don't know what this thing is that we're living in, but it's not the world. Scientists won't investigate it because they're not real. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Turkey with extra swiss]]." ...I think that last bit was already written on the wrapper by a Subway sandwich artist, or one of their familiars.
** "And how did Simone get this Subway wrapper, given that all Subway restaurants have many entrances, but no exits? It's as their motto says: 'A thousand ways in, no way out. Subway. Eat fresh. Eat terribly, terribly fresh. Terribly, awesomely, gruesomely, terrifyingly fresh.'"
* In the Pilot, Cecil states that Carlos and his team of scientists have found that one of the houses in Night Vale does not exist. And states that the last time they were seen, the scientists were all standing around on the sidewalk in front of the "house", daring each other to go knock on the door.
** One year later, they ''still'' haven't worked up the nerve and are offering $5 to anyone who will.
** Also from the Pilot: "[The City Council] would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park."

* Cecil and Carlos' first date in Episode 27. They have dinner at Gino's in a doorless room and have to escape by throwing a brick (provided by their waiter) through a window then take a romantic stroll through the park while the usual crowd of Night Vale residents are pointing at the sky and shouting in terror.
** Not to mention Cecil's casual description of the clothes they wore to the date.
---> '''Cecil:''' I was wearing my best tunic and furry pants, and he had on a laid-back weekend lab coat.
** And not to mention Station Management's distress at the extended romantic tangents:
---> '''Cecil:''' ...And so we talked, just us and our bleeding mushrooms, and the [[BreadEggsMilkSquick buzzing shadow presence]], and a ''blooming haze'' of romance in the air - ''(music abruptly stops)'' Wait. Hold on. Station Management is apparently getting agitated, and...flailing around their office and howling? So I need to do some more news, real quick.
*** "All right. News...''done''. Back to the date!"
* Alligators: Can they kill your children? (''rustling papers'') [[BluntYes Yes]].
* The Community Health Tip on Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
-->Are you suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you enjoying carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you surprised by carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you enraged by carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you feel a throbbing sadness that you almost cannot stand from carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you feel a bounty of love and appreciation for your fellow human beings travelling through this confusing and finite lifetime with you from carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you get ''sexually aroused'' by carpal tunnel syndrome? (''{{beat}}'') That would be weird. Not to be judgemental...but it would be weird.

-->Does the carpet match the drapes? No. It doesn't. You're the worst interior decorator. Please leave my home.
-->What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening? I don't know, but I trapped it in my bedroom. Send help.
-->If you love someone, set them free. Set them free now. This is the police, and we have you surrounded.

* In Episode 29, a strange, creepy child messenger sent by the City Council comes to Cecil during his recording and, afterwards, stares at him. Cecil's biggest concern is that he doesn't know what to do with the messenger - or any of the rest that the City Council keeps sending him - and wonders if anyone else would like to have the kid.
* In Episode 5, Cecil rants about the Moon, and wonders if it's watching them. When considering if the Moon found something more interesting than Night Vale, Cecil seems genuinely put out by the idea and then ''demands'' that the Moon watch them.
** This anti-moon hostility returns in the ''Adventure Hour'' crossover live show performed in Seattle. Night Vale is just starting their First Annual Destroy-The-Moon Festival, which employs such techniques as throwing things at moon and also shouting hurtful words at the moon.
* Episode 15, "Street Cleaning Day", Cecil lists off the things NVCR thinks are happening outside their protected bunker:
--> "Screaming, a slow movement downwards, the crunch of items made of wood and items not made of wood. A quick movement upwards. Char. A smell of rotting seaweed, or a poisoned ocean. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking The song "La Bamba", only faster.]]"
** ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext "SHOP. AT. TARGET."]]''
** The HOV lanes in Night Vale have NitroBoost pads!
* In Episode 6, there's the method for donating to the station: whisper 'forsaken Algonquinia' into your phone receiver and then "angels or Facebook or something" will deliver the station an appropriate amount from your bank account.

** Also, "Guns don't kill people, we're all immune to bullets and it's a miracle."

* The mental image of Carlos gesturing with a spatula while in the process of science (and cooking, obviously).
* At the end of episode 22: "I had a hamster as a child, and it died in, like, two weeks, so, (''adorable squeaky voice'') meh! What do I know?"
* Hiram [=McDaniel=]'s campaign speech in Episode 32, whenever one of his other heads starts talking. Probably the only funny thing in [[WhamEpisode an otherwise very dark episode.]]

* The show at the LA Podcast Festival was essentially live performances of two older episodes with redone ad bumps, as read by James Urbaniak (as two {{Redshirt}} interns). They're promotions for Hulu (which he reads out in an ominous, drawn-out voice: "[[InherentlyFunnyWord Huuuuuuluuuuuuu]].") and a web hosting service (who break out into tears at the sight of your website, as it's already perfect). Imagine [[WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers Rusty Venture]] and you've got it.
* Cecil being menaced by a vacuum cleaner in episode 34.

* From episode 34, when the computer spreads its influence: "School officials have all left the gym to go get help. They ran out, courageously yelling 'Save yourself! Save yourself!'"
** From the same episode, when the computer asks, "CECIL, DO YOU LOVE COMPUTER?" Cecil says that he could learn to love computers, "given time and [[GoldDigger perhaps some gifts]]."
** Also, the computer issues a long, eerie monologue about the better world it will create. In the middle of the dreamlike imagery and elaborate details of a child's paradise, it matter-of-factly states "Desert Bluffs will no longer exist" without elaboration.

** The [[GovernmentConspiracy "vague, yet menacing government agency's"]] excuses to trick Cecil into saying their secret code word ('''''BRINY DEPTHS''''', said in the same eerie tone as the announcement of '''''THE BROWN STONE SPIRE'''''):