History Funny / TommyBoy

** Shortly after this, Tommy has his first ''successful'' sales pitch due to mentioning to their latest potential client how the "Guarantee Fairy" [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext will steal the money on the dresser and leave his daughter knocked up]]. He and Richard are both genuinely shocked when it proves CrazyEnoughToWork.

-->'''Tommy:''' Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I ''suck'' as a salesman. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. ''[holds a dinner roll]'' Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe, I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go... ''[makes ripping noises as he tears apart the dinner roll]'' OOOOOOHHH! I KILLED IT! I KILLED MY SALE! And that's when I blow it.

-->'''Tommy:''' Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. ''[holds a dinner roll]'' Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe, I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go... ''[makes ripping noises as he tears apart the dinner roll]'' OOOOOOHHH! I KILLED IT! I KILLED MY SALE! And that's when I blow it.

-->'''Helen:''' Sorry, kitchen's closed until 12:30. All we got is cold stuff and desserts.

* Richard's airline announcements are so deadpan-caustic, they're hilarious.

--->'''Tommy:''' Richard, who's your favorite [[Series/OurGang little rascal]]? Alfalfa, or is it Spanky? ''[{{beat}}]'' Sinner.

* Tommy catching Richard having ADateWithRosiePalms and making a RunningGag out of it.
-->'''Tommy:''' Oh, Richard. Were you watching Spanktravision? Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian. Oh, what's his name? Buddy...Whack-it?

--->'''Tommy:''' Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Alfalfa, or is it Spanky? ''[{{beat}}]'' Sinner.

** Just before Helen approaches, Tommy mentions that the side of his face hurts, indicating the ''massive'' bruise from the wood plank Richard had smacked him with, which Richard says [[BlatantLies doesn't show]]. For bonus points, "I'm Sorry" is playing on the radio in the buffet.

** Just before Helen approaches, Tommy mentions that the side of his face hurts, indicating the ''massive'' bruise from the wood plank Richard had smacked him with, which Richard says [[BlatantLies doesn't show]].

* Tommy sparking a EurekaMoment in Richard with his exasperated explanation for Helen the waitress.

* Tommy sparking a EurekaMoment in Richard with his "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Jojo, the Idiot Circus Boy]] and [[AndCallHimGeorge his pretty new pet!]]" routine for Helen the waitress.

--->'''Michelle:''' Listen up, you little spazoids! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you!

* Paul asking Tommy if he ate a lot of paint chips as a kid. It becomes a minor RunningGag as at least a couple more characters ask Tommy the same question, with one variant asking if he played under power lines as a kid.

* Paul asking Tommy if he ate a lot of paint chips as a kid. It becomes a minor RunningGag as at least a couple more characters ask Tommy the same question.

--->'''Richard:''' I just need your John Hancock on these."
--->'''Tommy:''' ''*playfully condescending*'' "John" Hancock... It's ''Herbie'' Hancock!

* Tommy vs the annoying kids taunting him from the shoreline.
-->'''Tommy:''' You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there and jam an oar up your ass!

--->'''Tommy:''' *playfully condescending* "John" Hancock... It's ''Herbie'' Hancock!

-->'''Richard:''' Did I catch a "niner" in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?

* The cow-tipping scene, especially the part where Paul falls and Tommy drags him to safety despite his annoyed protests that he's fine, declaring "I LOVE YOU!"
* Tommy singing a version of "Maniac" from ''Film/{{Flashdance}}'' as Paul sprays water on him to wash off the mud and crap he fell in earlier.

* One of Big Tom's business partners letting slip that he'd like to "get some of that" (that is, have sex with Big Tom's new wife Beverly) in front of Richard who's recording well-wishes from wedding guests, then realizing his mistake and asking Richard if he can delete it. Richard replies "It'll cost ya!" and the man lunges at him, demanding the camera before it cuts off.

** Tommy's meltdown not long after, capped off with Richard giving the client his card and saying "We'll be in touch."

-->'''Tommy:''' YOUR FIREARMS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEM!!

'''Tommy:''' What kind of a motel ''is'' this?!

* Tommy's answer to a question on his final college exam during the opening credits: ''"Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and [[Music/HerbieHancock Herbie]] Hancock were all framers of the Constitution."'' His smug look tops it.

* Paul [[OffhandBackhand backhanding]] an annoying kid making faces against the bus window.

* The cow-tipping scene, especially the part where Paul falls and Tommy drags him to safety despite his protests that he's fine, declaring "I LOVE YOU!"

* Richard's conversation with the not-so-bright ticket clerk at the airport, ending with this:

** And before that, his professor gives him an exasperated look. In the next scene, if you look closely, the same professor is seen behind some glass shaking his head at Tommy as he jubilantly reacts to his passing grade.

-->''[Tommy passes out and completely flattens a coffee table]''

** The Board's [[HereWeGoAgain exasperated sigh]] when she first brings it up.

* The deer Tommy and Richard hit suddenly ''wakes up in the backseat and destroys Richard's car''.

* Richard's airline announcements are so deadpan-caustic, they're hilarious.
-->'''Richard:''' Okay, folks, the guy in front of you is Tommy. He'll be taking you through my little spiel here. Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking, and he's never been laid.\\
''[Tommy glares at Richard, who just shrugs]''\\
'''Richard:''' Exits? Okay, there's one back here, and there's, uh, probably one over by the wings somewhere, usually... And what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seat belt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you're a ''retard''! Okay, and life preservers: These, you may need, although what are the odds of us actually hitting a lake? My money says, if anything, it's gonna be a ''mountain''! To inflate, put it around your neck and yank down on the tab.\\
''[Tommy puts a kid-sized life preserver around his neck and inflates it; it starts to choke him]''\\
'''Tommy:''' AAAUGH! GET IT OFF! SON OF A-- ''[flails around for a bit]'' CAN'T BREATHE! CHOKING! ''[grabs a passenger's pen and stabs it into the preserver to let the air out]''\\
'''Richard:''' He's a big, dumb animal, isn't he, folks?

* Richard is revealed to be wearing a toupee after Zalinsky demonstrates his new car engine. He tries to fix it, but it ends up looking hilariously ridiculous as he orders Tommy to never mention it to anyone else. And in the next shot, his hair's back to normal.
-->'''Richard:''' "...You say one word to anyone about this and I will ''kill'' you, you understand?"
-->'''Tommy:''' "It looks... real--"
-->'''Richard:''' "'''NGH!'''"

** Which was likely payback for the HurricaneOfEuphemisms when Tommy caught Richard peeping on a naked swimmer.

'''Richard:''' Housekeeping, you want me to jerk you off?\\

* Tommy and Richard in the car, singing "[[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ZLIqJ8RN4 Superstar]]" by Music/TheCarpenters. What sells it is Tommy and Richard [[RealMenDontCry previously acting nonchalant about the song]] playing, the GilliganCut, and then seeing them with tears all over their faces.

* Tommy and Richard in the car, singing "[[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ZLIqJ8RN4 Superstar]]" by Music/TheCarpenters. What sells it is Tommy and Richard previously acting nonchalant about the song playing, the GilliganCut, and then seeing them with tears all over their faces.