History Funny / Tintin

** The colonel keeps messing up his "Ready - Aim -Fire", and the drunken Tintin finds it hilarious to repeatedly shout "Long live General Alcazar" at the top of his lungs. So when Alcazar's rebels storm the capital and interrupt the execution, he is proclaimed a hero of the revolution and taken to see the general.

* Captain Haddock has a [[IncrediblyLamePun shocking]] encounter with an electric eel. Professor Calculus explains the situation to him:

-->'''Tintin''': Well I think it's time we [[IncrediblyLamePun arrest-tided]] him.

* The sequence where Tinitn has been framed as a rebel terrorist and is about to be executed by firing squad is priceless:

--> '''Haddock:''' ''(chasing a villain)'' Blackamoor! Anthracite! Coconut! [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fuzzy-wuzzy! Cannibal!]]
--> '''Tintin:''' Go on! Seek! Seek! Bite him!

* Captain Haddock’s relief when they reach land. It’s not because they’re out of fuel, but because they’re out of whiskey.

--->'''Haddock:''' "Powerful stuff, eh!"
--->'''Tintin:''' "You've said it!"
--->'''Haddock:''' "I don't know why, but whenever I hear her, it reminds me of a hurricane that hit my ship – when I was in the West Indies some years ago…"

* Oliveira da Figueira introduces Tintin (who's in disguise) as his nephew Alvaro to get into Professor Smith’s house. He then provides a distraction by weaving an elaborate, tragic story about "Alvaro’s" parents, who died and left him a orphan. This is taken up to eleven in the Nelvana series.

-->'''Policeman''': Are you insane? I'm writing you up for this! What's your name?\\
'''Italian''': [[OverlyLongName Arturo Benedetto Giovanni Giuseppe Pietro Archangelo Alfredo Cartoffoli da Milano]].\\
'''Policeman''': ''(sweating bullets)'' Er, just don't do it again, will you?\\

'''Italian''': Now we catch up on the time we missed!

--->'''Haddock (holding the hammer to his ear):''' "Hello? Engine room? Hello?"\\

---> '''Haddock:''' Bianca Castafiore! She's HERE by thunder! That woman follows us to the ends of the Earth!

-->'''News broadcast:''' "At the 21st Taschist Party Congress in Szohôd, Marshal Kûrvi-Tasch, in an exceptionaally violent speech ''(Calculus tries to adjust the picture)'' DIGADOG DAGADIGADUG DOGODOGDOG DAGODAGODAGODUG DIGADIGDUG…"
-->'''Calculus:''' That's better, isn't it?

-->'''Old Lady''': [[CaptainObvious You bitten]].
-->'''Haddock''': [[DeadpanSnarker If that's the best you can tell me, then I too can predict your future.]]

-->'''Haddock''': But we ''are'' in Jakarta!\\
'''Calculus''': Really? I could have sworn we were in Jakarta...

-->'''Haddock''': I'm ''not'' going [to Kathmandu]! And when I say "no", ''I mean "no"!''
-->''[[GilliganCut Cut to]]:''
-->'''Haddock''': So. We're in Kathmandu.

* Tintin and Snowy hitching a ride with Bianca Castafiore to the Syldavian capital, and she decides to "treat" them to her music.

* An X-ray machine makes Thompson and Thomson think there's a live skeleton walking around the complex. Searching around for it, they find a model skeleton in a doctor's office. They decide to handcuff and arrest it, accusing it of merely playing dead. The doctor is not amused.

** What is particularly hilarious is that the corporal forgot to ''[[WhatAnIdiot bury the dynamite]]'' before detonating it. As one of the conspirators in the assassination coup lampshades, putting dynamite next to a wall produces nothing but a loud bang.

** Diaz gets so angry at having his career destroyed that he joins a "secret society" for revenge. Said society consists of a bunch of angry-looking mustachioed men that sit around in a dark basement wearing black capes, domino masks and enormous sombreros.

* The sequence where Tinitn has been framed as a rebel terrorist and are about to be executed by firing squad is priceless:

** It turns out that all the rifles have been sabotaged, and while the firing squad is getting new rifles, their leader invites Tintin for a drink of [[GargleBlaster the local rotgut, Aguardente]]. It takes a while to find rifles that work, so when the squad comes back, the bottle is almost empty, and Tintin and the colonel march unsteadily arm-in-arm out into the yard, loudly proclaiming their undying friendship.
** The colonel keeps messing up his lines, and the drunken Tintin finds it hilarious to repeatedly shout "Long live General Alcazar" at the top of his lungs. So when Alcazar's rebels storm the capital and interrupts the execution, he is proclaimed a hero of the revolution and taken to see the general.
** Impressed by Tintin's "loyalty", General Alcazar appoints him a colonel on the spot, and when Colonel Diaz suggests that he is made a corporal instead, as the army has 3487 colonels but only 49 corporals, Alcazar gets angry and demotes Diaz to corporal.
** Diaz gets so angry at having his career that he joins a "secret society" for revenge. Said society consists of a bunch of angry-looking mustachioed men in a dark basement, wearing black capes, domino masks and enormous sombreros.
** Finally, there is Tintin's panicked expression the next day when he realizes that he has become a hero of the revolution and Alcazar's right hand man - with NO idea about how it all happened.

[[folder: ''Tintin in America'']]

[[folder: ''The Blue Lotus'']]

[[folder: ''The Crab with the Golden Claws'']]

[[folder: ''Red Rackham's Treasure'']]

---> “Money? Oh, you’ve got some money? Good for you! Personally, I haven’t any!”

[[folder: ''The Seven Crystal Balls'']]

-->'''Calculus''': ''(while crashing a jeep through a guard outpost)'' [[IncomingHam MAKE WAY FOR THE GOAT!!]]

--> '''Policeman''': Are you insane? I'm writing you up for this! What's your name?
--> '''Italian''': [[OverlyLongName Arturo Benedetto Giovanni Giuseppe Pietro Archangelo Alfredo Cartoffoli da Milano]].
--> '''Policeman''': ''(sweating bullets)'' Er, just don't do it again, will you?
--> The Italian zooms off.
--> '''Italian''': Now we catch up on the time we missed!

--->'''Haddock (holding the hammer to his ear):''' "Hello? Engine room? Hello?"
--->'''Engine room (through the receiver in the Captain's other hand):''' "Hello, effendi?"

* Oliveira da Figueira introduces Tintin (who's in disguise) as his nephew Alvaro to get into Professor Smith’s house. He then provides a distraction by weaving an elaborate, tragic story about "Alvaro’s" parents, who died and left him a orphan. This is taken UpToEleven in the Nelvana series.

** Worth noting is that instead of "full speed ahead," it gets jammed at "half speed astern," (aka. putting the ''Ramona'' in reverse).

* The ending to the animated adaptation, where the cast are being interviewed regarding the plane crash and the disappearance of half the crew (who were the villains of the album). Since they were all subjected to LaserGuidedAmnesia by the aliens who saved them, the only clue they have is a strange metal bolt Calculus had found in the volcano and left in his pocket, which tests revealed was made of an extremely advanced alloy not found on Earth. As the reporter concludes that the truth of what really happened may never be known, Snowy barks at the camera trying to reveal the truth, since he ''does'' know, the aliens not having bothered erasing his memories, but since no one can understand him, he whines and curls up in Tintin's arms like he's saying "Oh, what's the point?".

*** "[[HumiliationConga What did I ever do to deserve this]]? [[BlatantLies Me, who'd never harm a fly]]! There's no justice!"