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* "Man, that John Smith is awesome. It's like the historical John Smith wrote the screenplay."
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** "John Smith, or as his crewmates call him 'Captain Amazing', is a man so potent he has to get on to the boat while riding a giant phallic symbol."
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** "Did you ever wonder what constitutes a 'blue corn moon'? *picture of a moon with a corn-on-the-cob on top of it*"
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** And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"

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** And "And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
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** And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
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--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?

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--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?tenderly!? I mean- *puts hand over mouth*
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--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?
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* "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in the "Top Ten Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs":
--> '''Live Aid:''' There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear...\\
'''Chick:''' [[TheLordOfTheRings Mordor?]]
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** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."

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** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face.face]]. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."
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** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."
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** "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed as [this villain] floating around the internet or anything [pained expression]." [Cut to Chick in Halloween costume]
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** "Hey, Lindsey, [[InnocentInnuendo want some dick]]?"
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** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review. "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is Sting in a space speedo."

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** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review.
"Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is you're about to see Sting in a space galactic speedo.""
*** And the faces she pulls whenever the clip is shown.
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***Oh hell, just the opening line of the review. "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is Sting in a space speedo."


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**"The spice. Must. Flow."
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-->* ''A caption reading'' '''One minute into the movie.''' ''appears.''*
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......

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-->* ''A -->[=*=]''A caption reading'' '''One minute into the movie.''' ''appears.''*
''*
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop *[[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......open]]*.......



--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two notes play''*

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--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, *''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two *''two notes play''* play''*



** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying..."Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""

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** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying... "Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""



* "* ''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"

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* "* ''In [=*=]''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz "'''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"



** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]

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** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic *''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
Music''*"
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]*"[[BrickJoke more thrusting]]"



*** The Footbinding...Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.

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*** The Footbinding...Footbinding. Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.



** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the...cheer.

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** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the... cheer.



-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic *''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.merchandising.



** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."

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** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' ''*Isaacs speaks*'' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."



** And then introducing BlackArachnia, saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."

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** And then introducing BlackArachnia, [=BlackArachnia=], saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."



-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''*

to:

-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''* *''Thumbs up''*



-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''*

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-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes *''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''* "D8" face''*



-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!

to:

-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A *''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!



-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!

to:

-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* *''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also *''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!



--> Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you."

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--> Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you."



** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.

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** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* *ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.



-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . . or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]

to:

-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% f*&% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . .guys... or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]



* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' * finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose*

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* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' * finger *finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose* pose*
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* ''Don't put your dick in it.''

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* ''Don't put your dick in it.'' :(''
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** For me, the most unexpectedly funny part of that review was the word "[[RunningGag gag]]" [[VisualPun running]] across the screen to the tune of "Spanish Flea".
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** Her falling over (and off the screen) in boredom when Poca and John have their stare-off. "Ow."
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** "How many Hispanic stereotypes can we cram into one scene- *''See the muscians''* what the hell, what the hell, what the hell you guys?"
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** "This is genocide, ''and here's the definition of genocide!''"
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** In the second TYFTF, her disgusted expression at the healthy food she has to eat while Nella enjoys whatever she wants is pretty damn funny.

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Cleaned up "must be weird not having people cum on you" line


** After the line "It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long pause) It is."

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** After the line This line:
--> Al:
"It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long "
--> Chick: (long
pause) It "It is."
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** No mention of Nella's [[ChewingTheScenery scenery-chewing]] song at the end yet?
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------>Everybody got AIDS! And shit!

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------>Everybody got AIDS! And AIDS... ''and'' shit!
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** That poor robot of hers...
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* ''Don't put your dick in it.''
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-->Connery: Bond. James Bond.
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!

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-->Connery: -->'''Connery:''' Bond. James Bond.
-->NostalgiaChick: -->'''NostalgiaChick:''' Heh, I think I just came!
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-->Connery: Bond. James Bond.
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!
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* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' *finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose*

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Changed: 115

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Click the edit button to start this new page.

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Click * The BreathlessNonSequitur in the edit button Nostalgia Chick's review of ''{{Pocahontas}}'': "Also, Pocahontas was twelve."
** Her reaction
to start the most blatant lyrics in the "Savages" song: "They are not like you and me/ which means they must be evil!"
** "Holy shit, Disney! You've inserted your giant magical cock into my ear and FUCKED MY MIND!"
* The Nostalgia Chick shooing away the BigLippedAlligatorMoment sign in her review of ''Xanadu''. IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOU.
* Her wondering how gay He-Man can be, with
this sequence popping up.
-->'''He-Man:''' A work of art like my famous spice bread takes time, Cringer.
-->* ''A caption reading'' '''One minute into the movie.''' ''appears.''*
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......
** And just when she's recovered from this, she meets Bow. She's immediately rendered speechless by his cape removal, the heart-shaped emblem on his chest, the pink owl koala with the rainbow ears...
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ...well, anyway, he's a part of the Great Rebellion...
--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two notes play''*
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ...and he takes him back to meet the Rebe''Jesus Christ!''
--->* ''Bow and Adam are riding the same horse, touching, Adam's hands on Bow's hips''*
** "Fuck it, '''WE'RE OFF TO THE PRIDE PARADE!'''"
* [[{{Labyrinth}} PACKAGE!]]
** Anything she says regarding the Area, really.
* From "Top 11 Embarassing Nostalgic Dance Crazes": Nostalgia Chick and Nella. Doing the Chicken Dance. In front of NYC's [[ButtMonkey Scientology]] building.
* The {{Ho Yay}}-tastic parody of the animal cracker scene from ''Armageddon'', complete with out of nowhere {{Firefly}} reference.
* The ''{{Thumbelina}}'' review. "I have this weird sense of déjà-Disney..."
** [[PlotInducedStupidity "Get on the fucking bird."]]
** "You have a bird. [[ThisIsSPARTA You have TWENTY BIRDS! DOING THE CAN-CAN!"]]
** "So, Beverley, y'have any luck finding - AHHH!"
** "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."
** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying..."Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""
* From the "Top 11 Villainesses": "I ''hate'' [[TheLittleMermaid this movie]]. I really do. ''I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!''"
* "* ''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"
* Chick and Nella singing along to "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" in the {{Mulan}} review.
** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]
** Footbinding. "You bleated?" "TO WIKIPEDIA!" And the BrickJoke.
*** Forgive my thickheadedness. What Brick Joke?
*** The Footbinding...Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' No! No...ah, no, that ain't right!
* Her ''TeenWitch'' review: "Stop, movie! You're trying way too hard!"
** "[80s movies] weren't so much about plot as much as "finding yourself" or... something. Oh, and having a boyfriend."
** "OH MY GOD [[HollywoodNerd HE'S GOT GLASSES!]]"
** "What are you doing?! This movie is whiter than ''PrideAndPrejudice''!"
** "Condom! Condom! Condom!"
** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the...cheer.
* The 'What do you want' moment, in ''Earth Girls Are Easy''...
-->'''Candy Pink:''' What do you want?!
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.
* During her review of ''[[BeautyAndTheBeast Beauty And The Beast: An Enchanted Christmas]]'', the Chick using '[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5997qBnx9s Untitled]]' by Simple Plan as background music, when the characters {{Wangst}} around, accomplanied by her tracing a tear down her cheek.
** Her reaction to seeing Beast lock Belle in a dungeon for trying to get a Christmas tree: shock, pouting, then weakly pointing a finger and saying "Boooo..."
** Also her reaction to the climax of the film, and the dialogue during it.
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' [[FlatWhat What...What...What-]]''ever.''
* Her reaction to seeing that Draco in ''DragonHeart'' is voiced by SeanConnery.
** ''"Sean Connery. Lover. Fighter. Fuckin' dragon."''
** Forget that, the JamesBond opening animation in which James is replaced by a pimp-walking dragon who then [[SeanConneryIsAboutToShootYou shoots the guy]] looking at him through the barrel of a gun takes the cake.
** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."

* Her video explaining the SmurfettePrinciple, especially when she introduces [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime's girlfriend]]-"Also she's PIIIINK!"
** And then introducing BlackArachnia, saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."
** The flashback.
-->'''Critic:''' Hey, congratulations, you got the job!
-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''*
-->'''Critic:''' Oh yeah, you'll love it! [[DistaffCounterpart You'll be just like me, only female!]]
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''*
-->'''Critic:''' Alright! Later, bye! God, I'm awesome.
* The Chick wondering about the backlash, and hate surrounding Celine Dion, in her ''{{Titanic}}'' video.
-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!
-->'''Celine Dion:''' '''''YOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE HEEEEEEEERE...'''''
* All of Nella's MyLittlePony melodrama, partly because of her tone of voice while explaining it and the background music.
-->...who cried herself to sleep at night because she was in a loveless marriage, and their spawn was Appletree. You can tell because he has trees and apples, which is a combination of the two horses. He did not realize that his mother was living and trapped in a loveless marriage because he was wee and did not understand the horrors and pains of life. You had the schoolteacher, who also was a [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold whore with a heart of gold]], and all the little ponies loved her, because she was sweet and had a heart of gold even though she was a whore.
** The poines cheeriness about the witches.
-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!
* ''{{Showgirls}}''. The re-enactment of the NC-17 scenes is ''gold''.
** Especially the lapdance re-enactment! [[spoiler:It essentially boils down to P-Cash, a bloke with a pair of fake bosoms making vague thrusting and backside-wiggling motions in front of uncomfortable-looking, sitting Lisa, and all the while he's holding a holding copy of 'Opera For Dummies'!]]
** Use of boobies (as in, the bird) as a censor bar.
** Lisa being passed over for the various parts by all of her friends [[spoiler:and some guy who was just passing by after stealing a computer.]]
** And this gem...
--->Everybody got AIDS and shit!
------>Everybody got AIDS! And shit!
** After the line "It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long pause) It is."
* The first episode of the Nostalgia Chick's
new page. series, ''Thank You For The Feedback'', has her following up on the suggestions of one reader by going on a date with the Nostalgia Critic, which turns into one of the funniest, most awkward dates ever. However, the true piece of hilarity comes at the end, when the Critic has a sudden, crazed breakdown and starts [[NoFourthWall yelling at the cameraman.]]
-->''"And who is this guy who's been filming us this whole time? Is he your helper monkey? '''GET OUT!'''"''
* The Chick imagining Mick Jagger in ''[[TheJoyOfX Blonde Girls Now and Then, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Ke$ha]]'', afte hearing the line "And the dudes are lining up/'Cause they think we got swagger/But we kick them to the kerb unless they look like {{Mick Jagger}}".
* From her ''EverAfter'' review: "Oh God, it's six in the morning and that bitch is singing again..."
* The entire makeover of Nella from her ''{{Grease}}'' review. The entire thing.
** But just to name a single Crowning Moment: the Makeover Fairy, after trying in vain to find suitable makeup to cover Nella's homely features, gleefully eyes a paper bag.
** "You dated another girl! Unpure!"
** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.
* The "{{Dune}}" review, my lord the Dune review. Especially the role-playing conversation between David Lynch and the terrified studio.
-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . . or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]
** [Expressionless {{beat}}] "...So that happens."
** "Gah! Why? Why did I choose to review ''Dune''? I just wanted to understand! I thought I could understand! And also PatrickStewart."
** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
** PARTY WORM!
*** HARKONNENS NOT INVITED!
* The Morning After from the Disney's Hercules review. All of it.
** Also, her confused, increasingly upset calls for an explanation of the PlotHoles.
--->"Hey, hey movie. Movie! Where are you going? Come back, plot! Listen to me! Why isn't anybody listening to me?!
** "And where was Poseidon for this? Eh, maybe he was drinking a martini."

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