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* "Man, that John Smith is awesome. It's like the historical John Smith wrote the screenplay."
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** "John Smith, or as his crewmates call him 'Captain Amazing', is a man so potent he has to get on to the boat while riding a giant phallic symbol."
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** "Did you ever wonder what constitutes a 'blue corn moon'? *picture of a moon with a corn-on-the-cob on top of it*"
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
** And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
to:
** And "And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
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** And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?
to:
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?tenderly!? I mean- *puts hand over mouth*
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--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!?
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* "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in the "Top Ten Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs":
--> '''Live Aid:''' There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear...\\
'''Chick:''' [[TheLordOfTheRings Mordor?]]
--> '''Live Aid:''' There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear...\\
'''Chick:''' [[TheLordOfTheRings Mordor?]]
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Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."
to:
** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face.face]]. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."
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** "...having him [[DoubleEntendre wave his balls in your face. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to a lot of that in this review."
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** "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed as [this villain] floating around the internet or anything [pained expression]." [Cut to Chick in Halloween costume]
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** "Hey, Lindsey, [[InnocentInnuendo want some dick]]?"
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Changed line(s) 99,100 (click to see context) from:
** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review. "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is Sting in a space speedo."
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review. "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is Sting in a space speedo."
to:
** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review."Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is you're about to see Sting in a space galactic speedo.""
*** And the faces she pulls whenever the clip is shown.
*** Oh hell, just the opening line of the review.
*** And the faces she pulls whenever the clip is shown.
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***Oh hell, just the opening line of the review. "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and this is Sting in a space speedo."
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**"The spice. Must. Flow."
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Changed line(s) 8,9 (click to see context) from:
-->* ''A caption reading'' '''One minute into the movie.''' ''appears.''*
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......
to:
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:'''
Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two notes play''*
to:
--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, *''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two *''two notes play''* play''*
Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying..."Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""
to:
** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying... "Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""
Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
* "* ''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"
to:
* "* ''In [=*=]''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz "'''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"
Changed line(s) 31,32 (click to see context) from:
** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]
to:
** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic *''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
Music''*"
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl...* "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]*"[[BrickJoke more thrusting]]"
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl...
Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
*** The Footbinding...Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.
to:
*** The Footbinding...Footbinding. Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the...cheer.
to:
** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the... cheer.
Changed line(s) 45,46 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.
to:
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic *''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princessesmerchendizing.merchandising.
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses
Changed line(s) 56,57 (click to see context) from:
** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."
to:
** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' ''*Isaacs speaks*'' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."
Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
** And then introducing BlackArachnia, saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."
to:
** And then introducing BlackArachnia, [=BlackArachnia=], saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."
Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''*
to:
-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''* *''Thumbs up''*
Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''*
to:
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes *''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''* "D8" face''*
Changed line(s) 67 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!
to:
-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A *''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!
Changed line(s) 72,73 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!
to:
-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* *''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:'''* ''Also *''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!
-->'''Chick:'''
Changed line(s) 82 (click to see context) from:
--> Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you."
to:
Changed line(s) 93 (click to see context) from:
** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.
to:
** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* *ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.
Changed line(s) 95,96 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . . or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . . or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]
to:
-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% f*&% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movieguys . . .guys... or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie
Changed line(s) 107 (click to see context) from:
* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' * finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose*
to:
* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' * finger *finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose* pose*
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Changed line(s) 108 (click to see context) from:
* ''Don't put your dick in it.''
to:
* ''Don't put your dick in it.'' :(''
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** For me, the most unexpectedly funny part of that review was the word "[[RunningGag gag]]" [[VisualPun running]] across the screen to the tune of "Spanish Flea".
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** Her falling over (and off the screen) in boredom when Poca and John have their stare-off. "Ow."
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** "How many Hispanic stereotypes can we cram into one scene- *''See the muscians''* what the hell, what the hell, what the hell you guys?"
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** "This is genocide, ''and here's the definition of genocide!''"
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** In the second TYFTF, her disgusted expression at the healthy food she has to eat while Nella enjoys whatever she wants is pretty damn funny.
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Cleaned up "must be weird not having people cum on you" line
Changed line(s) 78 (click to see context) from:
** After the line "It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long pause) It is."
to:
** After the line This line:
--> Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long "
--> Chick: (long pause)It "It is."
--> Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you.
--> Chick: (long pause)
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** No mention of Nella's [[ChewingTheScenery scenery-chewing]] song at the end yet?
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Changed line(s) 77 (click to see context) from:
------>Everybody got AIDS! And shit!
to:
------>Everybody got AIDS! And AIDS... ''and'' shit!
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Changed line(s) 49,50 (click to see context) from:
-->Connery: Bond. James Bond.
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!
to:
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-->Connery: Bond. James Bond.
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!
-->NostalgiaChick: Heh, I think I just came!
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* Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song in her ''TheBabysittersClub'' movie review is both hilarious and frightening. ''Daddy's girl..'' *finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose*
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
Click the edit button to start this new page.
to:
** Her reaction to
** "Holy shit, Disney! You've inserted your giant magical cock into my ear and FUCKED MY MIND!"
* The Nostalgia Chick shooing away the BigLippedAlligatorMoment sign in her review of ''Xanadu''. IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOU.
* Her wondering how gay He-Man can be, with this sequence popping up.
-->'''He-Man:''' A work of art like my famous spice bread takes time, Cringer.
-->* ''A caption reading'' '''One minute into the movie.''' ''appears.''*
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * [[JawDrop mouth wide open]]* .......
** And just when she's recovered from this, she meets Bow. She's immediately rendered speechless by his cape removal, the heart-shaped emblem on his chest, the pink owl koala with the rainbow ears...
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ...well, anyway, he's a part of the Great Rebellion...
--->'''Bow:''' * ''poses, arms wide''* The Great Rebellion. * ''two notes play''*
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ...and he takes him back to meet the Rebe''Jesus Christ!''
--->* ''Bow and Adam are riding the same horse, touching, Adam's hands on Bow's hips''*
** "Fuck it, '''WE'RE OFF TO THE PRIDE PARADE!'''"
* [[{{Labyrinth}} PACKAGE!]]
** Anything she says regarding the Area, really.
* From "Top 11 Embarassing Nostalgic Dance Crazes": Nostalgia Chick and Nella. Doing the Chicken Dance. In front of NYC's [[ButtMonkey Scientology]] building.
* The {{Ho Yay}}-tastic parody of the animal cracker scene from ''Armageddon'', complete with out of nowhere {{Firefly}} reference.
* The ''{{Thumbelina}}'' review. "I have this weird sense of déjà-Disney..."
** [[PlotInducedStupidity "Get on the fucking bird."]]
** "You have a bird. [[ThisIsSPARTA You have TWENTY BIRDS! DOING THE CAN-CAN!"]]
** "So, Beverley, y'have any luck finding - AHHH!"
** "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."
** "I'd like to know which executive head keeps saying..."Needs more Gilbert Godfried.""
* From the "Top 11 Villainesses": "I ''hate'' [[TheLittleMermaid this movie]]. I really do. ''I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!''"
* "* ''In [[TheDarkKnight Christian Bale's Batman]] voice''* '''[[BraTz BFFS! Hahahahahaha!]]'''"
* Chick and Nella singing along to "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" in the {{Mulan}} review.
** "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! * ''Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music''* "
*** "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... * "[[BrickJoke More thrusting]]
** Footbinding. "You bleated?" "TO WIKIPEDIA!" And the BrickJoke.
*** Forgive my thickheadedness. What Brick Joke?
*** The Footbinding...Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.
--->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' No! No...ah, no, that ain't right!
* Her ''TeenWitch'' review: "Stop, movie! You're trying way too hard!"
** "[80s movies] weren't so much about plot as much as "finding yourself" or... something. Oh, and having a boyfriend."
** "OH MY GOD [[HollywoodNerd HE'S GOT GLASSES!]]"
** "What are you doing?! This movie is whiter than ''PrideAndPrejudice''!"
** "Condom! Condom! Condom!"
** Her [[http://i46.tinypic.com/fy0hw1.png expression]] upon seeing the...cheer.
* The 'What do you want' moment, in ''Earth Girls Are Easy''...
-->'''Candy Pink:''' What do you want?!
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' * ''Pelvic thrusting to porno music''*
* In her Disney Princesses review, she gets ''attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation'' when she starts to accuse them of making ''The Princess And the Frog'' to expand their Disney Princesses merchendizing.
* During her review of ''[[BeautyAndTheBeast Beauty And The Beast: An Enchanted Christmas]]'', the Chick using '[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5997qBnx9s Untitled]]' by Simple Plan as background music, when the characters {{Wangst}} around, accomplanied by her tracing a tear down her cheek.
** Her reaction to seeing Beast lock Belle in a dungeon for trying to get a Christmas tree: shock, pouting, then weakly pointing a finger and saying "Boooo..."
** Also her reaction to the climax of the film, and the dialogue during it.
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' [[FlatWhat What...What...What-]]''ever.''
* Her reaction to seeing that Draco in ''DragonHeart'' is voiced by SeanConnery.
** ''"Sean Connery. Lover. Fighter. Fuckin' dragon."''
** Forget that, the JamesBond opening animation in which James is replaced by a pimp-walking dragon who then [[SeanConneryIsAboutToShootYou shoots the guy]] looking at him through the barrel of a gun takes the cake.
** "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" ''* Isaacs speaks* '' "Pre...''talent'' Jason Isaacs."
* Her video explaining the SmurfettePrinciple, especially when she introduces [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime's girlfriend]]-"Also she's PIIIINK!"
** And then introducing BlackArachnia, saying that ''she'' was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."
** The flashback.
-->'''Critic:''' Hey, congratulations, you got the job!
-->'''Chick:''' Hey, that's great, hooray for life! * ''Thumbs up''*
-->'''Critic:''' Oh yeah, you'll love it! [[DistaffCounterpart You'll be just like me, only female!]]
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Makes a face looking like a {{Real Life}} version of the " D8 " face''*
-->'''Critic:''' Alright! Later, bye! God, I'm awesome.
* The Chick wondering about the backlash, and hate surrounding Celine Dion, in her ''{{Titanic}}'' video.
-->'''Chick:''' Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? * ''A caption labeled''''' 'EASY TARGET' ''''' flashes onscreen''* Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a [=McDonalds=], it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!
-->'''Celine Dion:''' '''''YOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE HEEEEEEEERE...'''''
* All of Nella's MyLittlePony melodrama, partly because of her tone of voice while explaining it and the background music.
-->...who cried herself to sleep at night because she was in a loveless marriage, and their spawn was Appletree. You can tell because he has trees and apples, which is a combination of the two horses. He did not realize that his mother was living and trapped in a loveless marriage because he was wee and did not understand the horrors and pains of life. You had the schoolteacher, who also was a [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold whore with a heart of gold]], and all the little ponies loved her, because she was sweet and had a heart of gold even though she was a whore.
** The poines cheeriness about the witches.
-->'''Pony:''' * ''Cheerily''* It's the ''witches'' from ''the Volcano of Gloom''!
-->'''Chick:''' * ''Also cheerily''* It's the ''coven'' from the ''Geyser of Malaise''!
* ''{{Showgirls}}''. The re-enactment of the NC-17 scenes is ''gold''.
** Especially the lapdance re-enactment! [[spoiler:It essentially boils down to P-Cash, a bloke with a pair of fake bosoms making vague thrusting and backside-wiggling motions in front of uncomfortable-looking, sitting Lisa, and all the while he's holding a holding copy of 'Opera For Dummies'!]]
** Use of boobies (as in, the bird) as a censor bar.
** Lisa being passed over for the various parts by all of her friends [[spoiler:and some guy who was just passing by after stealing a computer.]]
** And this gem...
--->Everybody got AIDS and shit!
------>Everybody got AIDS! And shit!
** After the line "It must be weird not having people cum on you.": "(long pause) It is."
* The first episode of the Nostalgia Chick's new
-->''"And who is this guy who's been filming us this whole time? Is he your helper monkey? '''GET OUT!'''"''
* The Chick imagining Mick Jagger in ''[[TheJoyOfX Blonde Girls Now and Then, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Ke$ha]]'', afte hearing the line "And the dudes are lining up/'Cause they think we got swagger/But we kick them to the kerb unless they look like {{Mick Jagger}}".
* From her ''EverAfter'' review: "Oh God, it's six in the morning and that bitch is singing again..."
* The entire makeover of Nella from her ''{{Grease}}'' review. The entire thing.
** But just to name a single Crowning Moment: the Makeover Fairy, after trying in vain to find suitable makeup to cover Nella's homely features, gleefully eyes a paper bag.
** "You dated another girl! Unpure!"
** Sally's realisation that Danny * ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.
* The "{{Dune}}" review, my lord the Dune review. Especially the role-playing conversation between David Lynch and the terrified studio.
-->'''Terrified Studio:''' Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f* &% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?
** "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys . . . or I'd be so lost. [[SarcasmMode All my questions are pretty much answered here."]]
** [Expressionless {{beat}}] "...So that happens."
** "Gah! Why? Why did I choose to review ''Dune''? I just wanted to understand! I thought I could understand! And also PatrickStewart."
** The faces she pulls at seeing Sting in his "space speedos".
** PARTY WORM!
*** HARKONNENS NOT INVITED!
* The Morning After from the Disney's Hercules review. All of it.
** Also, her confused, increasingly upset calls for an explanation of the PlotHoles.
--->"Hey, hey movie. Movie! Where are you going? Come back, plot! Listen to me! Why isn't anybody listening to me?!
** "And where was Poseidon for this? Eh, maybe he was drinking a martini."
