History Funny / TheNewOrderLastDaysOfEurope

* Players browsed through the game files and found [[https://www.reddit.com/r/TNOmod/comments/i621pz/all_the_memeweird_portraits/ joke portraits]], like UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush with a Japan tag, Himmler in England (with the internal name of [[{{Pun}} Heinrich_HMMLR]])[[note]]this one is [[https://old.reddit.com/r/TNOmod/comments/i9p10n/heinrich_hmmlr_ruling_england/ actually used ingame]], as the ruler of England if the player uses the console to convert the country to Esoteric Nazism[[/note]], "[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidVThePhantomPain Punished Stalin]]" (a heavily scarred Stalin with an eyepatch) in Tyumen [[note]]this one is lifted from Stalin's ''VideoGame/{{Kaiserredux}} portrait''[[/note]], Alexander Kolchak ([[PosthumousCharacter a skeleton]] in a military uniform) in Chita [[note]]A reference to Kaiserreich's Transamur Republic.[[/note]], Creator/ToddHoward ([[TakeThat dressed in a SS uniform]]) in Burgundy, [[EenieMeenieMinyMoai a moai in Omsk]]...

[[AC:Göring's Germany]]
* If Göring makes it to the Oil Crisis without committing to War Plan C, he has the option of undermining Schörner and the Militarists in order to retake control of the Reich, paving the way for a second civil war. One of the steps he can take to do so is to manipulate militarist officers into committing acts of brutality against the natives in the Reichskommissariate and then try those officers for war crimes. The description for the latter focus lampshades how ham-fisted Göring's machinations are:
-->"Shocking! A number of our best officers, once thought loyal and true paragons of the Reich, have been directly implicated in horrific war crimes against non-Aryan populations! That something like this could have happened on Schörner's watch is unthinkable - how could any good, honest German ever succumb to such violence and depravity? State media will make this outrage known to the whole Reich, and the guilty parties arrested and brought to trial immediately! National Socialism does not permit acts of senseless brutality and genocide, and nor will the Führer!"

*** Margaret Chase Smith, in spite of the TearJerker in her acknowledgment of causing Yockey’s rise by appealing for his support, has her letter make up for it by [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech utterly SAVAGING him and his clique]]. First, she recalls [[EstablishingCharacterMoment the first time she saw Yockey]] - him [[LargeHam having a screaming fit]] about “[[MalignedMixedMarriahe miscegenation]]”, and [[ClothingDamage ripping the back of his jacket in the process]]. She then lambasts his DelusionsOfEloquence, saying that no matter how fancy he dresses himself or his words, he’ll always be “the lowliest kind of buffoon”, and that his supporters are even dumber than he is because he feels surrounding himself with “halfwits” is the only way he can feel smart by comparison. She then [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone admits she regrets giving his “circus” the time of day]], and that she can’t ever atone for it (although she’ll certainly try). However, she then finishes by saying [[PassThePopcorn she’s looking forward and sitting back and watching]] as she anticipates Yockey’s “[[Film/TheGreatDictator Chaplin-like]]” display will result in a four-year straight HumiliationConga, ending with America resoundingly booting him from office. The capper is Yockey, rather than send the letter unopened to the furnace like his other reactions, is implied to have read it, [[PaperDestructionOfAnger and shredded it by hand in outraged fury]]. At least he’s dealt one humiliation more than he otherwise would have been.

*** To cap it off, his response to Yockey in its entirety:

*** Doubles as CatharsisFactor, at least from outside the run.

* One of Carlos Lacerda's plans is to drive President Lott and Quadros against each other. In the event where the two are [[FireForgedFriends more than willing to keep things stable together]], Quadros sends a letter to Lacerda demanding Lacerda give up, lest he face "a surprise meeting between your [[AssShove lower disgetive tract and a broom]]".

** A Esoteric Nazi England shows "Heinrich HMMLR" in power, whose profile clearly states that he is [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial not at all related to]] the [[ButHeSoundsHandsome "ravishingly handsome"]] Himmler, though he insists that he has personally met Himmler several times and even have photos of the two of them together, which he unfortunately cannot show off because he accidentally left them in his other wallet. He forgoes his actual last name [[PaperThinDisguise and adopts the acronym in its place to hide his identity]], and the profile [[VerbalBackspace keeps stumbling over its words]] to excuse his [[SarcasmMode vague but totally convincing]] background. And his accent sounds Germanic only because he's more Anglo-Saxon than most (emphasis on Saxon). Additionally, his agenda is to send massive amounts of funding elsewhere, invest in researching atomic power, introduce foreign experts for military training, and build a ''really'' deep metro system. Don't ask him how or why he plans to do this; he'll just glare at you. This also doubles as a DevelopmentGag: in older versions of the lore and game, the HMMLR was originally supposed to be influenced by Burgundian agents.

* The most Heartwarming Russian reunification path is usually a choice between either path for Sverdlovsk, liberal Vyatka's, a genuinely anarchist Siberian Black Army, Kemerevo's under Yuriy, any non-Bastillard Tomsk's, a constitutional Chita's, a libertarian Buryatia's, or Omolon's - unless you enable Project Ferus, in which case the most outlandish path possible indisputably takes the cake. That path is one where Nikolai Bukharin reappears to reunify Russia...having been ''turned into a pony''. Yes, a [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic My Little Pony]]-type pony. He will, if all goes well, then proceed to bring Russia back together through "Harmonic Communism", wielding the Magic of Friendship to do so. It's all very ridiculous, absolutely absurd, and disturbingly in-depth for an April Fools' joke.
** If only [[VideoGame/EquestriaAtWar Equestria at War]]'s [[Characters/EquestriaAtWarMisc 2022 April Fools' feature]] was as pleasant...though granted, it's pretty funny too.

** A sample of all the ways he may meet his end: [[ColonyDrop Squished by the deorbited Sun Gun, meteor strike]], SpontaneousHumanCombustion, [[NukeEm nuked]], gunned down by the Literature/LittleRedRidingHood, ExitPursuedByABear, taken by the [[Wiki/SCPFoundation Foundation]], BoltOfDivineRetribution, [[ToiletHumor choking on]] [[UndignifiedDeath horse excrements]], [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext bitten by a]] [[VideoGame/MetalGear2SolidSnake deadly venomous Zanzibar hamster]], [[Film/JohnWick killed by a hitman after killing said hitman's dog]], and [[BreakingTheFourthWall noticing the player]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation and promptly going insane]].

* While Chep Morrison's utter failure to pass the Urban Affairs Act and overall inability to live up to Hart's legacy is a big tearjerker, the player will be in for a surprise should they [[DevelopersForesight use console commands]] to pass the Urban Affairs Act. [[https://imgur.com/a/RPVBQi4 First Lady Zsa Zsa Gabor]] will enter the Oval Office and [[WhatTheHellPlayer berate the player for using console commands]], before ''pulling out a gun'' and shooting poor Chep in the head.

** One player browsing through Brazil's leader portraits found [[https://old.reddit.com/r/TNOmod/comments/rfggqm/why_the_hell_are_there_10_portraits_of_quadros_in/ ten different portraits]] of potential president Jânio Quadros. Only one of these portraits is actually used, and after seeing the others, it's easy to see why. Devs later admitted it's not even DummiedOut content; Quadros just made so many bizarre expressions in public appearances the portrait artists couldn't resist. And the No Step Back compatibility update adds ''even more''.

* As his policies are enacted, President Harrington will receive letters from citizens, more often than not praising him for helping them succeed or stay afloat. When he passes Affirmative Action, however, he receives a [[https://i.imgur.com/Kq2BJsC.jpg rather colorful letter from Cicero, Illinois]]:

** If only ''[[Characters/EquestriaAtWarMisc Equestria at War]]'''s 2022 April Fools' feature was as pleasant...

** After Sablin [[https://i.imgur.com/nKYp66A.png tours the American exhibition]], he'll be [[UsefulNotes/NikitaKhrushchev introduced to Pepsi cola and proclaim enjoying it]]. The "document" the event is presented in even has suspiciously circular stains.

** Midway into the Iberia game, the Caudillos propose improving the lives of the citizens on the basis of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslows_hierarchy_of_needs Maslow Hierarchies of needs]]. One of the topics discussed is [[SexualEuphemism "Sleep and Reproduction"]]... which everyone collectively agrees to ignore.

*** His letter to Harrington has to be read between the lines, but is infinitely more scathing than anything anyone else would have written.

*** His letters to both Scoop and Kirkpatric let out some of his GeneralRipper tendencies alongside his [[SirSwearsALot filthy mouth]] as he ''openly advocates for nuclear war with Germany and Japan'' in both of them, the latter describing it as a figurative GroinAttack. While this is more [[NightmareFuel horrifying]] than anything else, the shared reaction [[MoodWhiplash makes up for it]]:

--->"This letter is to acknowledge that you will be the next President of the United States.[[labelnote:translation]]I can't stand you and literally only write this out of obligation.[[/labelnote]] It is remarkable that a college professor has risen to such dizzying heights.[[labelnote:translation]]You have no idea what you're doing and you shouldn't be here.[[/labelnote]] I am certain you will recieve much advice in the coming days[[labelnote:trans.]]I pity the rest of your staff picking up your slack and doing you damn job for you.[[/labelnote]] and that you have no need for anything that I might provide.[[labelnote:trans.]]Don't come crying to me when you screw everything up.[[/labelnote]] I wish your administration the best of luck in pursuing its ambitious goals.[[labelnote:trans.]]Your plan will snap your government in two and crash and burn uner its own weight.[[/labelnote]]"

*** His response to Gus Hall succeeding him is informing the latter on the most effective way to [[AteHisGun eat his gun]] while savaging the firearm competence of his supporters. Hart's response is to [[ActuallyPrettyFunny frame the letter on his desk]].

*** His response to Gus Hall succeeding him is informing the latter on the most effective way to [[AteHisGun eat his gun]] while savaging the firearm competence of his supporters.

* Early in a Germany game, Adolf Hitler visits the Führermuseum to officially open the new art exhibit and begins lamenting the deaths of German artists, including Adolf Ziegler and Arno Breker. Cue the crowd slowly turning to Breker, [[I'mRightHere very much alive]] and now [[ImpliedDeathThreat fearing for his life]].

* Early in a Germany game, Adolf Hitler visits the Führermuseum to officially open the new art exhibit and begins lamenting the deaths of German artists, including Adolf Ziegler and Arno Breker. Cue the crowd slowly turning to Breker, very much alive and now fearing for his life.

* The presidential transition letters can be hilarious at times depending on the reactions.

** LeMay comes out swinging in pretty much every single one of his letters:

* Due to the common joke about the supposed Brittany-Normandy rivalry in French culture, French players will probably chuckle when they notice the annexation of Normandy by the Republic of Brittany during the French-Burgundy war.

-->''albert speer is [[VideoGame/AmongUs the sussy chungus red imposter among hitlers crewmates]]. whereas everyone else is fascist crewmates he is a liberal libtard crewmate, and when hitler dies in electrical he will say that he was just doing tasks in maintenance but he is secretly planning to kill everyone else and achieve a total sussy liberal victory''

--> "So to sum things up, Seyss-Inquart and Lohse are bedridden; Koch and Kasche claim they can't send any troops due to partisans, and von Krosigk and Frank have to fight bloody terrorists that aren't even supposed to exist anymore?"
--> "What do you mean Kaukasia and Madagaskar didn't even answer?!"
--> "That's treason Terboven!"

--> "Someone stole 300 million yen"
---> "dang"

-->'''On a critical success:''' "Irgun/the Harakiyyin got fucking annihilated lol sucks to suck"
---> "Begin more like end :sunglasses:"
---> "bash the habash :sunglasses:"
--> '''On a failure:''' "Shit backfired yo"
---> "oh god oh fuck"

* If you wait around long enough in the AfterTheEnd screen following the Thermonuclear War Superevent, you'll discover that Himmler's plan to purify the Earth in the long term ''[[PyrrhicVillainy completely failed]].'' Not only did many, many other countries prepare well enough for nuclear war that non-white ethnicities largely survived, but enough bombs failed so that even the above-grounders largely survived, and to add further injury, by the time the descendants of the people he regarded as Aryan enough to live come down from the Alps, the PropagandaMachine has so convinced them that all of the non-Aryans died that [[GoneHorriblyRight they view the civilization they find as fellow surviving Aryans, no matter their appearance]], completely and peacefully assimilating into the rebuilt world. We'd probably be hearing a strange whizzing noise if there was enough of Himmler's body left over to spin in his grave at Mach 5. Crosses over with Heartwarming as well.

** Believe it or not, [[HistoricalInJoke some of these projects]] [[AluminumChristmasTrees were actually researched]] by the Soviet Union. The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_laser_pistol laser pistol]] and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hovercraft#Military hovercraft]] in the event are just the concepts turned UpToEleven. This even applies to the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanzee#Reports_of_attempted_hybridization ape-man hybrid]].