History Funny / Temeraire

* Temeraire's [[KlingyJealousGirl jealousy of Laurence in regards to marriage]] is funny in and of itself, but his explanation of why Laurence shouldn't marry Mrs. Pemberton specifically has even the narration dryly commenting on it:

Novik, Naomi. League of Dragons (Temeraire) (p. 210). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

** Becomes a brick joke: when Laurence and the crew return from Africa months later, they find Isierka and Arkady seizing French ships with practiced ease. It's revealed that while they were gone looking for medicine, Iskierka and company started taking over enemy ships on the regular, and that they've caught five since Temeraire left. Cue Temeraire sulking for the rest of the chapter. When asked whose idea this was:
-->“Oh, it is all her own notion,” Granby said ruefully. “She refused to see why the Navy ought to get all the prizes; and I am afraid she has suborned those damned ferals. I am sure she has them secretly flying the Channel at night looking for prizes, without reporting them, and when they tell her of one, she pretends she has just taken it into her head to go in such and such a direction. They are as good as any prize-crew ever was; the sailors are all as meek as maids, with one of them aboard.”
** On top of that, Granby (Laurence's old second and Iskierka's Captain) is walking around dressed to the nines in a gold and terribly embarrassed by it-- Iskierka insists he dress up whenever they win prize money from her conquests. Iskierka thinks he's amazingly stylish.

'''Laurence''': Jane, Will you marry me?
'''Jane''': Why no, dear fellow.

* Kulingile is a runt dragon born of two heavy-weights. Initially his survival is in question, and no one expects much of him, until a few weeks later when we get the signs that he'll not only live, but be one of the biggest dragons in the world: [[spoiler: His air sacs inflate while he's sleeping and he ''becomes lighter than air and starts floating away!'']]

--> '''Temeraire''': (surprised and facinated) "You do not hatch out of eggs? How then–"

'''Emily Roland''': "Mustn't I?"\\
'''Laurence''': "No, it is not suitable; you are beginning to be a young lady."\\

** Not to mention when Temeraire confesses this to Laurence in Throne Of Jade...who then ''cracks up laughing'', much to Temeraire's indignation.

* Captain Riley's discovery of Emily Roland's gender forces Laurence to explain the [[TheSquadette Longwing handling requirements]], which becomes a discussion about (and attempt to explain to Temeraire) the general taboo concerning (human) women serving in the military, leading to....
-->'''Laurence''': "It is different for dragons than for people. Among other things, women must bear children, and care for them through childhood, where your kind lay eggs and hatch ready to look to your own needs."
--> '''Temeraire''': (surprised and facinated) "You do not hatch out of eggs? How then–"
--> '''Riley''': "I beg your pardon, I think I see Purbeck looking for me." (unceremoniously flees the dragon-deck, to Laurence's resentment)

* When Laurence's crew arrives at the city limits of Istanbul, the feral dragons, not understanding the concept of ownership or how they need to behave so close to the capital, steal some cows, prompting a few Turkish aviators to come out to investigate the fuss.
-->''...to Laurence's great relief, the captain in the lead lifted his speaking-trumpet to his mouth to bellow at them, at some length. "He says to land," Tharkay translated, with improbable brevity; at Laurence's frowning look he added, "and he calls us a great many impolite names; [[DeadpanSnarker do you wish them all translated]]?"''

* Temeraire has received an invitation to a tea party from [[EvilCounterpart Lien]]. This is the exchange that occurs:
-->'''Laurence:''' "There is nothing evidently insincere in it; perhaps she means it as a gesture of reconciliation."
-->'''Temeraire:''' "No, she does not. I am sure if I go, the tea will be very unpleasant, at least ''my'' tea will be, and I will have to drink it or look ill-mannered. Or she will make remarks which do not seem offensive, until I have gone away and thought them over; [[BreadEggsMilkSquick or she will try and have you murdered while I am not there]]: you are not to go anywhere without a guard, and if anyone tries to murder you, you must call for me very loud."

* Maximus recovers enough from being sick that he gets a hankering for a midnight snack, but doesn't want to wake his captain, who's been losing sleep from worrying about him. So he tries to sneak off and grab a couple cows. Live cows. That belong to someone else. On the other side of town. [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever Despite being nowhere near recovered enough to attempt flying over said town.]]
** Just to clarify, Maximus is one of the largest dragons in the whole series, nearly twice Temeraire's weight even half-dead from consumption. And a dragon this size not only tries to be sneaky but when that fails attempts to look innocent with a cow still hanging from his bloody jaws.
** And a little later, after he takes to swimming in the harbor, he finds a ''19 foot long shark'' and takes it back to show Berkley. The mental image of a giant dragon trotting down a street holding a monstrously large shark in its mouth like a stick would be terrifying if it wasn't so funny.
* When a few members of Lily's formation set out to the South African wilds to find the cure while their dragons rest, Dulcia frets over her captain's safety. Aww. Beautifully illustrated in this piece of [[https://www.deviantart.com/tane-p/art/SEVEN-LIONS-469286800 fanart.]]
-->'''Chenery:''' "We will manage quite well if we meet any lions; we have six guns with us, my dear."
-->'''Dulcia:''' "But what if there are ''seven'' lions?"
* Early in the voyage to Africa, Laurence and Riley get into a shouting match over Laurence inviting freedmen to come along, reopening the old wound between them of Riley's family being slaveholders and Laurence's family being ardent abolitionists. Suddenly Berkley barges into the cabin, which is right below the dragondeck, and tells them to go knock each other down somewhere else because they're waking Maximus (who hasn't gotten any good sleep from the plague) and Temeraire's probably going to rip open the deck to stick his snout into the argument. Complete StunnedSilence ensues.

* Early in the voyage to Africa, Laurence and Riley get into a shouting match over Laurence inviting freedmen to come along, reopening the old wound between them of Riley's family being slaveholders and Laurence's family being ardent abolitionists. Suddenly Berkley barges into the cabin, which is right below the dragondeck, and tells them to go knock each other down somewhere else because they're waking Maximus (who hasn't gotten any good sleep from the plague) and Temeraire's probably going to rip up the floor. Complete StunnedSilence ensues.

** And a little later, after he takes to swimming in the harbor, he finds a ''19 foot long shark'' and takes it back to show Berkley. The mental image of a giant dragon trotting down a street holding a monsterously large shark in its mouth like a stick would be terrifying if it wasn't so funny.

'''Lawrence''': "I am beginning to [[INeedAFreakingDrink feel the need of a glass of wine]] to fortify myself against this conversation."

** Hearing this, Lawrence finds himself torn between outrage at the insult offered the young woman and [[ShareTheMalePain visceral horror at that woman's response]].

** Not to mention when Temeraire confesses this to Lawrence in Throne Of Jade...who then ''cracks up laughing'', much to Temeraire's indignation.

-->"Then plainly Captain Lawrence must come also; or will you now attempt to convince us that ''he'' cannot be sent?"
** When Temeraire received the following message from an exhausted, injured, and at least slightly loopy due to a head injury Lawrence shortly afterwards, he becomes understandably concerned.

-->'''Temeraire''': ''[resentfully]'' "I do not care if they do not like me, maybe then they will let me alone, and I will not have to stay in China." ''[visibly perking up]'' "If I were very offensive, do you suppose they would go away now? Lawrence, what would be particularly insulting?"
* Captain Riley's discovery of Emily Roland's gender forces Lawrence to explain the [[TheSquadette Longwing handling requirements]], which becomes a discussion about (and attempt to explain to Temeraire) the general taboo concerning (human) women serving in the military, leading to....
-->'''Lawrence''': "It is different for dragons than for people. Among other things, women must bear children, and care for them through childhood, where your kind lay eggs and hatch ready to look to your own needs."

--> '''Riley''': "I beg your pardon, I think I see Purbeck looking for me." (unceremoniously flees the dragon-deck, to Lawrence's resentment)

* Maximus recovers enough from being sick that he gets a hankering for a midnight snack, but doesn't want to wake his captain, who's been losing sleep from worrying about him. So he tries to sneak off and grab a couple cows. Live cows. That belong to someone else. On the other side of town. Despite being nowhere near recovered enough to attempt ''flying'' over said town.

* Maximus recovers enough from being sick that he gets a hankering for a midnight snack, but doesn't want to wake his captain, who's been losing sleep from worrying about him. So he tries to sneak off and grab a couple cows. Live cows. That belong to someone else. On the other side of town[[note]](incidentally, he is nowhere near recovered enough to attempt flying ''over'' said town)[[/note]].

--> ''An hour after sunset they crept up the slope from downwind and made their stealthy attack; or so it might have been, save in a frenzy of excitement Iskierka clawed through the carabiner straps holding her on, and flung herself over the fence and onto the back of one of the sleeping, unsuspecting cows. It bellowed in terror and bolted away with all the rest of the herd, with the dragonet clinging aboard and shooting off flames in every direction but the right one, so the affair took on the character more of a circus than a robbery.''

-->''...to Laurence's great relief, the captain in the lead lifted his speaking-trumpet to his mouth to bellow at them, at some length. "He says to land," Tharkay translated, with improbable brevity; at Laurence's frowning look he added, "and he calls us a great many impolite names; do you wish them all translated?"''

* When Laurence's crew arrives at the city limits of Istanbul, they are greeted by a Turkish aviator on dragonback and Tharkay very graciously translates for the team.

'''Emily Roland''': "Oh, [[TheLadette Mother]] has [[TheTalk told me all about that]], but I have [[NoPeriodsPeriod not started bleeding yet]], and anyway I would not like to go to bed with any of them."

* Temeraire invites Lung Qin Mei to attend dinner with him and the other dragons - partly because he wants to see her, but also because he's been asked to sire a new Celestial companion for the Crown Prince. However, things go from bad to worse; first Iskierka, jealous at her own egg with Temeraire being passed over, insults Mei and leaves, next Temeraire becomes humiliated by the lack of manners of his companions, who abruptly leave so that Temeraire can arrange affairs with Mei. Finally, once they've left, Mei reveals she's been learning English to talk with him, and as such, understood everything that was said during the dinner. Becomes a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming shortly afterwards though, as the two are more happy to see each other than anything else.

** THere's also the fact the one of their major forms of entertainment appears to be... committee-conceived dragon soap operas, which is broadly told by one person, but whose details and subplots are thrown in by the whole audience.