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-->'''Principal Jones:''' No. I'm afraid there's nothing funny about [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS2E6WetAllOver turning your students into raindrops]]?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh, just some harmless exploration of the water cycle.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No, "harmless" is a diagram. What you did was ''change the molecular structure of your students' bodies''. And then evaporated them into a cloud. All, I might add, without parental consent.\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Sounds exciting, doesn't it?]]\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No, it sounds like a lawsuit! Miss Frizzle…\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Please, call me "The Friz".\\
'''Principal Jones:''' ''[beat]'' I'd rather not. I wish I could say this was the worst of it, but if… my information is accurate, [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS2E1BlowsItsTop you took your students into a volcano]]?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' An ''underwater'' volcano!\\
'''Principal Jones:''' So there was no lava then?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh no, there was lots of lava!\\
'''Principal Jones:''' What about that sentence doesn't raise any red flags for you?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' I remember Dorothy Ann got third-degree burns, but that's all right, because the next day we dove into her skin and analyzed blisters.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' Yes, that brings me to the next issue, which is "[[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS1E2ForLunch the entering of the nervous and digestive systems of Arnold]] [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS1E3InsideRalphie and Ralphie]]"?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh, yes! We were studying Ralphie's brain. Unfortunately, Carlos stepped on Ralphie's ''medulla oblongata'', and Ralphie hasn't been able to talk since! It was a great object lesson.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No! You are a public educator! You are not a neurosurgeon, or a meteorologist, or a geologist! You have no business shrinking, evaporating or flying, and, for goodness sake, we are not allowed to take students out of the ''county'', let alone the world! You have been to space ''four'' times!\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Seven, actually.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' [[DiggingYourselfDeeper That is not better]].\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' The last time, [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS4E7SeesStars we found ourselves at the heart of a supernova]]. I felt like we crossed a line at that point. But I would do anything to instill a love of education in these students. Why I even used Liz for our unit on taxidermy!
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh, just some harmless exploration of the water cycle.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No, "harmless" is a diagram. What you did was ''change the molecular structure of your students' bodies''. And then evaporated them into a cloud. All, I might add, without parental consent.\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Sounds exciting, doesn't it?]]\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No, it sounds like a lawsuit! Miss Frizzle…\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Please, call me "The Friz".\\
'''Principal Jones:''' ''[beat]'' I'd rather not. I wish I could say this was the worst of it, but if… my information is accurate, [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS2E1BlowsItsTop you took your students into a volcano]]?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' An ''underwater'' volcano!\\
'''Principal Jones:''' So there was no lava then?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh no, there was lots of lava!\\
'''Principal Jones:''' What about that sentence doesn't raise any red flags for you?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' I remember Dorothy Ann got third-degree burns, but that's all right, because the next day we dove into her skin and analyzed blisters.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' Yes, that brings me to the next issue, which is "[[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS1E2ForLunch the entering of the nervous and digestive systems of Arnold]] [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS1E3InsideRalphie and Ralphie]]"?\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Oh, yes! We were studying Ralphie's brain. Unfortunately, Carlos stepped on Ralphie's ''medulla oblongata'', and Ralphie hasn't been able to talk since! It was a great object lesson.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' No! You are a public educator! You are not a neurosurgeon, or a meteorologist, or a geologist! You have no business shrinking, evaporating or flying, and, for goodness sake, we are not allowed to take students out of the ''county'', let alone the world! You have been to space ''four'' times!\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' Seven, actually.\\
'''Principal Jones:''' [[DiggingYourselfDeeper That is not better]].\\
'''Miss Frizzle:''' The last time, [[Recap/TheMagicSchoolBusS4E7SeesStars we found ourselves at the heart of a supernova]]. I felt like we crossed a line at that point. But I would do anything to instill a love of education in these students. Why I even used Liz for our unit on taxidermy!
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** When it's Brown's turn, he forgets his lines.
--->'''Brown''': I guess it's my turn. There are brown things like dirt. I can't remember the words. Please don't hurt...me... ''(Black tasers him)''
--->'''Brown''': I guess it's my turn. There are brown things like dirt. I can't remember the words. Please don't hurt...me... ''(Black tasers him)''
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** A subtle FunnyBackgroundEvent: the box holding the crayons reads "Semi-Toxic Crayons."
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Indentation
Changed line(s) 172,179 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VH8lvZ-Z1g The Crayon Song]]. Good ''god'', the Crayon Song.
** To summarize, the sketch is about a bunch of crayons on a kids show singing about themselves...except the black crayon [[BlackComedy keeps interrupting by linking the colors to things you would not want on a kids show (red and blood, yellow and jaundice, etc.)]]. Highlights include:
*** When Green sings, his verse is about him eating a green poisonous bug and his subsequent puking. Black decides not to change it.
*** Purple decides he's had enough and shoves Black out of the way. Black's response? Taser!
*** During White's verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.
*** After that, we have one last crayon...tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].
*** Green's RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
** To summarize, the sketch is about a bunch of crayons on a kids show singing about themselves...except the black crayon [[BlackComedy keeps interrupting by linking the colors to things you would not want on a kids show (red and blood, yellow and jaundice, etc.)]]. Highlights include:
*** When Green sings, his verse is about him eating a green poisonous bug and his subsequent puking. Black decides not to change it.
*** Purple decides he's had enough and shoves Black out of the way. Black's response? Taser!
*** During White's verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.
*** After that, we have one last crayon...tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].
*** Green's RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VH8lvZ-Z1g The Crayon Song]]. Good ''god'', the Crayon Song.
**Song. To summarize, the sketch is about a bunch of crayons on a kids show singing about themselves...except the black crayon [[BlackComedy keeps interrupting by linking the colors to things you would not want on a kids show (red and blood, yellow and jaundice, etc.)]]. Highlights include:
*** ** When Green sings, his verse is about him eating a green poisonous bug and his subsequent puking. Black decides not to change it.
*** ** Purple decides he's had enough and shoves Black out of the way. Black's response? Taser!
*** ** During White's verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** ** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.
*** ** After that, we have one last crayon...crayon... tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].
*** --->'''Stacey:''' ''(singing)'' I'm the last crayon in the box you see and the colour that they assigned to me- ''(spoken)'' [[SuddenlyShouting IS]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting THIS!]]'' ''(shows off the "skin tone" label angrily)'' Just ''think about that'' for one. Moment. ''(drops the mic)''
** Green's RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
**
** Green's RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
Changed line(s) 181 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Matt:''' Look at that sweet angel play! No wonder they call her "Angela!"
to:
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!!As a moments page, all spoilers are unmarked, as [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff per policy!]]
Changed line(s) 16,17 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now we’re ready to put this in the oven, along with
-->'''Press Conference:''' taxpayer’s dollars.
-->'''Press Conference:''' taxpayer’s dollars.
to:
-->'''Press
'''Press Conference:'''
Changed line(s) 19,20 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Soap opera:''' All I ever wanted was
-->'''Dance video:''' the flexibility of a Russian gymnast.
-->'''Dance video:''' the flexibility of a Russian gymnast.
to:
-->'''Dance
'''Dance video:''' the flexibility of a Russian gymnast.
Changed line(s) 22,25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now this recipe is simple, it calls for flour, eggs and--
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--
-->'''Press Conference:''' --learned how to use a special rat toilet.
* [[https://youtu.be/5BxyeGdCyD4 "Dana's Dead"]], the first of the "Tongue Twister" sketches, is particularly hilarious, as every time they flub a line they must start again from the beginning. During the scene, Jason performs a SpitTake on Adam, and each time Jason's spitting becomes increasingly exaggerated. The cast's composure is pretty much nonexistent as Adam gets more and more drenched.
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--
-->'''Press Conference:''' --learned how to use a special rat toilet.
* [[https://youtu.be/5BxyeGdCyD4 "Dana's Dead"]], the first of the "Tongue Twister" sketches, is particularly hilarious, as every time they flub a line they must start again from the beginning. During the scene, Jason performs a SpitTake on Adam, and each time Jason's spitting becomes increasingly exaggerated. The cast's composure is pretty much nonexistent as Adam gets more and more drenched.
to:
-->'''Soap
'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never
-->'''Press
'''Press Conference:''' --learned how to use a special rat toilet.
*
Changed line(s) 47 (click to see context) from:
* Mallory pulling back her sleeve to reveal [[spoiler: her fish oil IV hooked to an actual fish]] in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lraDNDuFNj8 "Naturally"]].
to:
* Mallory pulling back her sleeve to reveal [[spoiler: her fish oil IV hooked to an actual fish]] fish in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lraDNDuFNj8 "Naturally"]].
Changed line(s) 61 (click to see context) from:
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1wRdpAz3oM "Shoulder Angel and Devil"]] return! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1je1ArfP34A Another sketch]] shows that [[spoiler: shoulder angels have their own shoulder angels, as well]].
to:
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1wRdpAz3oM "Shoulder Angel and Devil"]] return! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1je1ArfP34A Another sketch]] shows that [[spoiler: shoulder angels have their own shoulder angels, as well]].well.
Changed line(s) 65,66 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Teddy:''' [[TakeThat Just save it]] for the new Literature/{{Twilight}} book.
* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bNfUXN1Mqeg "Jingle Disasters"]], featuring an advertiser with ''horrible'' tastes in product slogans.
* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bNfUXN1Mqeg "Jingle Disasters"]], featuring an advertiser with ''horrible'' tastes in product slogans.
to:
--> '''Teddy:''' [[TakeThat Just save it]] for the new Literature/{{Twilight}} ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]'' book.
*[[https://m.[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNfUXN1Mqeg "Jingle Disasters"]], featuring an advertiser with ''horrible'' tastes in product slogans.
*
Changed line(s) 85,87 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWNcItFaLrw "Our Wedding Day"]] is a look through a wedding album, where the photos show that one of the guests turns out to be a WickedWitch. [[spoiler: The funniest part is where Jeremy loses his legendary mustache. And Jason gets turned into a bunny.]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW4TIWkVAEs "A Bold New Soap Opera"]] has funny exaggerated versions of soap opera tropes, but the real hilarity is watching Mallory, Whitney and Matt all [[{{Corpsing}} losing it]] when Mallory's [[spoiler: beard]] is revealed.
* Jason and Whitney don't know how respond to Matt and Mallory's hideous child in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlPRILttjAk "Ugly Baby"]]. [[spoiler: Turns out their own baby looks like Jeremy.]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW4TIWkVAEs "A Bold New Soap Opera"]] has funny exaggerated versions of soap opera tropes, but the real hilarity is watching Mallory, Whitney and Matt all [[{{Corpsing}} losing it]] when Mallory's [[spoiler: beard]] is revealed.
* Jason and Whitney don't know how respond to Matt and Mallory's hideous child in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlPRILttjAk "Ugly Baby"]]. [[spoiler: Turns out their own baby looks like Jeremy.]]
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWNcItFaLrw "Our Wedding Day"]] is a look through a wedding album, where the photos show that one of the guests turns out to be a WickedWitch. [[spoiler: The funniest part is where Jeremy loses his legendary mustache. And Jason gets turned into a bunny.]]
bunny.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW4TIWkVAEs "A Bold New Soap Opera"]] has funny exaggerated versions of soap opera tropes, but the real hilarity is watching Mallory, Whitney and Matt all [[{{Corpsing}} losing it]] when Mallory's[[spoiler: beard]] beard is revealed.
* Jason and Whitney don't know how respond to Matt and Mallory's hideous child in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlPRILttjAk "Ugly Baby"]].[[spoiler: Turns out their own baby looks like Jeremy.]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW4TIWkVAEs "A Bold New Soap Opera"]] has funny exaggerated versions of soap opera tropes, but the real hilarity is watching Mallory, Whitney and Matt all [[{{Corpsing}} losing it]] when Mallory's
* Jason and Whitney don't know how respond to Matt and Mallory's hideous child in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlPRILttjAk "Ugly Baby"]].
Changed line(s) 118,121 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Britain''': Oh, hiii, USA! Heard you've been having some family problems and thought maybe we should get back together.
--> ''Both the Republican and Democrat pull out weapons.''
--> '''Republican''': Stay away from my daughter. ''(DramaticGunCock)''
--> '''Britain''': God save the queen! ''(door closes in his face)''
--> ''Both the Republican and Democrat pull out weapons.''
--> '''Republican''': Stay away from my daughter. ''(DramaticGunCock)''
--> '''Britain''': God save the queen! ''(door closes in his face)''
to:
-->
''Both the Republican and Democrat pull out weapons.
--> '''Republican''':
'''Republican:''' Stay away from my daughter.
--> '''Britain''':
'''Britain:''' God save the queen! ''(door closes in his face)''
Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Whitney:''' ''(sobs, then answers her phone)'' Hello? Yeah, it's over. I'm fine I just--I didn't think I'd take it this hard, though. I can't believe it: he's dead. [[MoodWhiplash But it had to be done.]]
to:
Changed line(s) 171 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://youtu.be/9VH8lvZ-Z1g The Crayon Song]]. Good ''god'', the Crayon Song.
to:
* [[https://youtu.be/9VH8lvZ-Z1g [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VH8lvZ-Z1g The Crayon Song]]. Good ''god'', the Crayon Song.
Changed line(s) 174,179 (click to see context) from:
*** Purple decides he’s had enough and shoves Black out of the way. Black’s response? Taser!
*** During White’s verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...[[spoiler: until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.]]
*** After that, we have one last crayon...[[spoiler:tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].]]
*** Green’s RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=quio0o9TfW4 "A Chess Player Prodigy"]] where the announcers try to make the chess grandmaster seem evil for playing against a sweet little girl.
*** During White’s verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...[[spoiler: until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.]]
*** After that, we have one last crayon...[[spoiler:tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].]]
*** Green’s RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=quio0o9TfW4 "A Chess Player Prodigy"]] where the announcers try to make the chess grandmaster seem evil for playing against a sweet little girl.
to:
*** Purple decides he’s he's had enough and shoves Black out of the way. Black’s Black's response? Taser!
*** DuringWhite’s White's verse, Black sings about how "if you want to buy [ivory], just email me."
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...[[spoiler: until Purple shoves him so hard ''he apparently dies offscreen'', as Purple yells at the others to help him get rid of the body.]]
body.
*** After that, we have one last crayon...[[spoiler:tan, tan, labeled as "skin tone". [[CrossesTheLineTwice As played by a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice black]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice actor]].]]
actor]].
***Green’s Green's RunningGag of him saying "Hooray!" after each verse, even when the song really starts going OffTheRails.
*[[https://m.[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quio0o9TfW4 "A Chess Player Prodigy"]] where the announcers try to make the chess grandmaster seem evil for playing against a sweet little girl.
*** During
*** Black starts to sing his own depressing verse...
*** After that, we have one last crayon...
***
*
Changed line(s) 184 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7CPP0RaHME "Jeremy Isn't Real"]] reveals that the part of Jeremy is actually played by other members of the cast. [[spoiler: It turns out that Mallory isn't real, either, and is played by [[UnsettlingGenderReveal Jason]].]]
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7CPP0RaHME "Jeremy Isn't Real"]] reveals that the part of Jeremy is actually played by other members of the cast. [[spoiler: It turns out that Mallory isn't real, either, and is played by [[UnsettlingGenderReveal Jason]].]]
Changed line(s) 195 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uio0E0Gmyio "I'm Adopted?"]] has Stacey believing that he was adopted by his parents, Matt and Mallory. [[spoiler: Turns out he was SwitchedAtBirth and the parents were too stupid to notice. Oh, and his biological parents are ''[[BaitAndSwitch Asian]]''!]]
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uio0E0Gmyio "I'm Adopted?"]] has Stacey believing that he was adopted by his parents, Matt and Mallory. [[spoiler: Turns out he was SwitchedAtBirth and the parents were too stupid to notice. Oh, and his biological parents are ''[[BaitAndSwitch Asian]]''!]]Asian]]''!
Changed line(s) 202 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIbMirIPJa4 "Accountant Tax Party"]]: Apparently, tax prep firms celebrate the end of tax season with an incredibly boring party, [[spoiler: followed by a [[MoodWhiplash fight club]]]].
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIbMirIPJa4 "Accountant Tax Party"]]: Apparently, tax prep firms celebrate the end of tax season with an incredibly boring party, [[spoiler: followed by a [[MoodWhiplash fight club]]]].club]].
Changed line(s) 308 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' [[BrickJoke Ooh, my chimis!]]
to:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' [[BrickJoke Ooh, my chimis!]]chimis!]]
----
----
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Changed line(s) 308 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' Ooh, my chimis!
to:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' [[BrickJoke Ooh, my chimis!chimis!]]
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Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
* With Creator/{{Disney}} buying up the StarWars IP, you know that Studio C wasn't going to pass up [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UgpggCueHE making a sketch about it]].
to:
* With Creator/{{Disney}} buying up the StarWars IP, ''Franchise/StarWars'', you know that Studio C wasn't going to pass up [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UgpggCueHE making a sketch about it]].
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Added DiffLines:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GeaFfhaYkI Operation Breakup]]. Also [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWw60iFRGBo Part 2]].
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Changed line(s) 23 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--\\
to:
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--\\even--
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Added DiffLines:
** Or:
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now this recipe is simple, it calls for flour, eggs and--
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--\\
-->'''Press Conference:''' --learned how to use a special rat toilet.
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now this recipe is simple, it calls for flour, eggs and--
-->'''Soap Opera:''' --YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And we never heard from you, you never called, you never wrote, you never even--\\
-->'''Press Conference:''' --learned how to use a special rat toilet.
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Press conference:''' --feral monkeys which contracted Hepatitis.
to:
--> '''Press conference:''' --feral monkeys which contracted Hepatitis. [...] One NASA authority said--\\
'''Soap opera:''' --sometimes, I cry in the shower. You're not fooling anyone! All you've ever cared about is--\\
'''Dance video:''' --your glutes!
'''Soap opera:''' --sometimes, I cry in the shower. You're not fooling anyone! All you've ever cared about is--\\
'''Dance video:''' --your glutes!
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Typo
Changed line(s) 284 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's time to go. You have done nothing, good or bad, with your life. You went to work, you came home, you watched Netflix, and you mostly ate microwavable chimichangas, which I personally think should be a ''(looking up)'' '''''A SIN''''', but I digress.
to:
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's time to go. You have done nothing, good or bad, with your life. You went to work, you came home, you watched Netflix, and you mostly ate microwavable chimichangas, which I personally think should be a ''(looking up)'' '''''A SIN''''', but I digress.
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Changed line(s) 240 (click to see context) from:
** Cornelius from ''Film/PlanetOfTheApes'' (represented by a guy in a chimpanzee mask). "He's not even real! He's a fictional character!"
to:
** Cornelius from ''Film/PlanetOfTheApes'' ''Franchise/PlanetOfTheApes'' (represented by a guy in a chimpanzee mask). "He's not even real! He's a fictional character!"
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVU1aeJdBfM Miss Frizzle's Performance Review]]", in which Miss Frizzle is fired for recklessly endangering her kids with her exotic field trips on her quote-unquote "Magic School Bus".
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Changed line(s) 97 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oWfo4D6eOU "Rebel Alliance Health Insurance]]" explores what the healthcare plans were like for the Rebel Alliance soldiers, filled with many familiar Star Wars gags.
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oWfo4D6eOU "Rebel Alliance Health Life Insurance]]" explores what the healthcare plans were like for the Rebel Alliance soldiers, filled with many familiar Star Wars gags.
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Added DiffLines:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oWfo4D6eOU "Rebel Alliance Health Insurance]]" explores what the healthcare plans were like for the Rebel Alliance soldiers, filled with many familiar Star Wars gags.
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Added DiffLines:
**Or:
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now we’re ready to put this in the oven, along with
-->'''Press Conference:''' taxpayer’s dollars.
**Or:
-->'''Soap opera:''' All I ever wanted was
-->'''Dance video:''' the flexibility of a Russian gymnast.
-->'''Cooking Show:''' Now we’re ready to put this in the oven, along with
-->'''Press Conference:''' taxpayer’s dollars.
**Or:
-->'''Soap opera:''' All I ever wanted was
-->'''Dance video:''' the flexibility of a Russian gymnast.
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The Devil's Dilemma
Changed line(s) 246 (click to see context) from:
-->'''James:''' ''(sighs, hangs up)''
to:
-->'''James:''' ''(sighs, hangs up)''up)''
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inOo3JCSde4 "The Devil's Dilemma"]] is perhaps the most punchline-dense sketch they've ever done. Here's the transcript:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(on a ladder in his living room)'' Just a little more to the--AAAGGGHHH! ''(He falls to the floor. A chime is heard, and he stands dressed in all white.)''
-->'''Aaron:''' Oh my gosh! Am I dead? Have I always looked that bad in those pants?
-->'''Devil:''' ''(played by Matt)'' Aaron Fielding! You're dead. ''(looks at his corpse)'' You look really bad in those pants. Come on, I'm here for your soul.
-->'''Aaron:''' What? No, there must be some mistake.
-->'''Devil:''' I thought so too, but it turns out redheads do, in fact, have them.
-->'''Aaron:''' No, no, I mean, why am I going with you instead of going to heaven?
-->'''Devil:''' Don't blame me. This is just the results of the coin toss. Is that pizza fresh? I don't care. ''(takes a slice)''
-->'''Aaron:''' Coin toss?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's when two people flip a coin and they guess whether it's heads or--
-->'''Aaron:''' I know what a coin toss is, I--
-->'''Devil:''' Okay, good, because I was about to be like, "You dumb."
-->'''Aaron:''' My eternal judgment was decided by a coin toss?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah, well, sometimes it's difficult to know where to put someone when they die. ''(about the pizza)'' This is terrible, by the way.
-->'''Aaron:''' So, I was right on the line between good and evil--
-->'''Devil:''' No, [[BrutalHonesty nobody wanted you]].
-->'''Aaron:''' But you said there was a coin toss.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. And I lost. ''(laughing)'' You think I'm here because I want your soul? Trust me, this is more my punishment than yours.
-->'''Aaron:''' Am I that bad?
-->'''Devil:''' No, I love bad. Bad is like my whole thing. If you were bad, I'd be doing cartwheels right now. You're not bad; [[BoringInsult you're boring]]. You are the most blah human being. ''(picking up Aaron's wallet)'' Oh my goodness. Is this a Velcro wallet?
-->'''Aaron:''' Is Velcro boring?
-->'''Devil:''' ''(opens the wallet)'' I wish you could die twice.
-->'''Aaron:''' I-- I thought I lived a pretty good life. I didn't steal or lie.
-->'''Devil:''' I know. You were a constant disappointment to me.
-->'''Aaron:''' But that's good, right? It's not like I killed anybody.
-->'''Devil:''' Oh, you didn't kill anyone? Well, let's get you a seat in heaven next to Mother Teresa. You know, when people talk about her accomplishments, they usually don't mention how many people she ''didn't'' kill. "Look at all these people Mother Teresa didn't kill! What a saint!" They talk about how many she helped.
-->'''Aaron:''' I help people.
-->'''Devil:''' Who?
-->'''Aaron:''' Point taken.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's time to go. You have done nothing, good or bad, with your life. You went to work, you came home, you watched Netflix, and you mostly ate microwavable chimichangas, which I personally think should be a ''(looking up)'' '''''A SIN''''', but I digress.
-->'''Aaron:''' I paid my taxes.
-->'''Devil:''' Hitler paid his taxes, Aaron. It's not exactly the demarcation line between good and evil.
-->'''Aaron:''' My dog! He proves that I'm good. I bought him from a rescue shelter instead of a breeder.
-->'''Devil:''' Because you're poor?
-->'''Aaron:''' Yeah.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah.
-->'''Aaron:''' I can't believe this. Nobody wants my soul?
-->'''Devil:''' Why would they? You're a fence-sitter, Aaron. You are room temperature Coca-Cola. You are the plain yogurt of people.
-->'''Aaron:''' I like plain yogurt.
-->'''Devil:''' I know. Because you're the worst.
-->'''Aaron:''' I kind of wish redheads didn't have souls.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah, you guys were a lot more interesting when I thought that.
-->'''Aaron:''' What if you didn't take me? What if you let me return to my body and give life another try?
-->'''Devil:''' Mmm. Ordinarily, second chances aren't really my domain, but I ''do'' hate you. All right, fine. You can go back to your body, but please remember, Aaron, good isn't just the absence of bad. It's also the presence of good.
-->'''Aaron:''' You want me to be good so you don't have to see me again?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. Good luck, ya human rice cake.
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' Ooh, my chimis!
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inOo3JCSde4 "The Devil's Dilemma"]] is perhaps the most punchline-dense sketch they've ever done. Here's the transcript:
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(on a ladder in his living room)'' Just a little more to the--AAAGGGHHH! ''(He falls to the floor. A chime is heard, and he stands dressed in all white.)''
-->'''Aaron:''' Oh my gosh! Am I dead? Have I always looked that bad in those pants?
-->'''Devil:''' ''(played by Matt)'' Aaron Fielding! You're dead. ''(looks at his corpse)'' You look really bad in those pants. Come on, I'm here for your soul.
-->'''Aaron:''' What? No, there must be some mistake.
-->'''Devil:''' I thought so too, but it turns out redheads do, in fact, have them.
-->'''Aaron:''' No, no, I mean, why am I going with you instead of going to heaven?
-->'''Devil:''' Don't blame me. This is just the results of the coin toss. Is that pizza fresh? I don't care. ''(takes a slice)''
-->'''Aaron:''' Coin toss?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's when two people flip a coin and they guess whether it's heads or--
-->'''Aaron:''' I know what a coin toss is, I--
-->'''Devil:''' Okay, good, because I was about to be like, "You dumb."
-->'''Aaron:''' My eternal judgment was decided by a coin toss?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah, well, sometimes it's difficult to know where to put someone when they die. ''(about the pizza)'' This is terrible, by the way.
-->'''Aaron:''' So, I was right on the line between good and evil--
-->'''Devil:''' No, [[BrutalHonesty nobody wanted you]].
-->'''Aaron:''' But you said there was a coin toss.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. And I lost. ''(laughing)'' You think I'm here because I want your soul? Trust me, this is more my punishment than yours.
-->'''Aaron:''' Am I that bad?
-->'''Devil:''' No, I love bad. Bad is like my whole thing. If you were bad, I'd be doing cartwheels right now. You're not bad; [[BoringInsult you're boring]]. You are the most blah human being. ''(picking up Aaron's wallet)'' Oh my goodness. Is this a Velcro wallet?
-->'''Aaron:''' Is Velcro boring?
-->'''Devil:''' ''(opens the wallet)'' I wish you could die twice.
-->'''Aaron:''' I-- I thought I lived a pretty good life. I didn't steal or lie.
-->'''Devil:''' I know. You were a constant disappointment to me.
-->'''Aaron:''' But that's good, right? It's not like I killed anybody.
-->'''Devil:''' Oh, you didn't kill anyone? Well, let's get you a seat in heaven next to Mother Teresa. You know, when people talk about her accomplishments, they usually don't mention how many people she ''didn't'' kill. "Look at all these people Mother Teresa didn't kill! What a saint!" They talk about how many she helped.
-->'''Aaron:''' I help people.
-->'''Devil:''' Who?
-->'''Aaron:''' Point taken.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. It's time to go. You have done nothing, good or bad, with your life. You went to work, you came home, you watched Netflix, and you mostly ate microwavable chimichangas, which I personally think should be a ''(looking up)'' '''''A SIN''''', but I digress.
-->'''Aaron:''' I paid my taxes.
-->'''Devil:''' Hitler paid his taxes, Aaron. It's not exactly the demarcation line between good and evil.
-->'''Aaron:''' My dog! He proves that I'm good. I bought him from a rescue shelter instead of a breeder.
-->'''Devil:''' Because you're poor?
-->'''Aaron:''' Yeah.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah.
-->'''Aaron:''' I can't believe this. Nobody wants my soul?
-->'''Devil:''' Why would they? You're a fence-sitter, Aaron. You are room temperature Coca-Cola. You are the plain yogurt of people.
-->'''Aaron:''' I like plain yogurt.
-->'''Devil:''' I know. Because you're the worst.
-->'''Aaron:''' I kind of wish redheads didn't have souls.
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah, you guys were a lot more interesting when I thought that.
-->'''Aaron:''' What if you didn't take me? What if you let me return to my body and give life another try?
-->'''Devil:''' Mmm. Ordinarily, second chances aren't really my domain, but I ''do'' hate you. All right, fine. You can go back to your body, but please remember, Aaron, good isn't just the absence of bad. It's also the presence of good.
-->'''Aaron:''' You want me to be good so you don't have to see me again?
-->'''Devil:''' Yeah. Good luck, ya human rice cake.
-->'''Aaron:''' ''(standing after rejoining his body)'' I'm alive! From now on, I will fill my life with good works and-- ''(Ding!)'' Ooh, my chimis!
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Formatting tweak
Changed line(s) 246 (click to see context) from:
-->'''James:''' *sighs, hangs up*
to:
-->'''James:''' *sighs, ''(sighs, hangs up*up)''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Changed line(s) 239 (click to see context) from:
** It turns out that they excluded Jeremy because they thought he couldn't catch the ball (even though they chose a dog, a ghost and inanimate objects). Jeremy eventually catches the ball. When he throws the ball back, he [[OhCrap accidentally breaks the Ebola virus' container]] and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere decides to run away as fast as he can]].
to:
** It turns out that they excluded Jeremy because they thought he couldn't catch the ball (even though they chose a dog, a ghost and inanimate objects). Jeremy eventually catches the ball. When he throws the ball back, he [[OhCrap accidentally breaks the Ebola virus' container]] and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere decides to run away as fast as he can]].can]].
!! [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGVpxD1HlmJ-5_p58DTZPXPWbShja7amd Season 8]]
!! [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGVpxD1HlmJ_27A29yqs0d2ZyuneTZMin Season 9]]
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mni6y_KtsRw "Customer Service Hotline"]], James calls customer support because his new refrigerator is spilling ice on his floor. After asking a bunch of seemingly irrelevant questions, customer support operator Natalie repeats back to confirm:
-->'''Natalie:''' So just to sum things up, [[FirstWorldProblems you are a healthy, happily married, socially acceptable free man, living outside of any war zones, with a roof over your head, food on your table, and a steady income, calling today to complain about your new, top-of-the-line refrigerator, paid for in cash, that seems to be spilling frozen, filtered water all over your non-dirt floor.]] Is that correct?
-->'''James:''' *sighs, hangs up*
!! [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGVpxD1HlmJ-5_p58DTZPXPWbShja7amd Season 8]]
!! [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGVpxD1HlmJ_27A29yqs0d2ZyuneTZMin Season 9]]
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mni6y_KtsRw "Customer Service Hotline"]], James calls customer support because his new refrigerator is spilling ice on his floor. After asking a bunch of seemingly irrelevant questions, customer support operator Natalie repeats back to confirm:
-->'''Natalie:''' So just to sum things up, [[FirstWorldProblems you are a healthy, happily married, socially acceptable free man, living outside of any war zones, with a roof over your head, food on your table, and a steady income, calling today to complain about your new, top-of-the-line refrigerator, paid for in cash, that seems to be spilling frozen, filtered water all over your non-dirt floor.]] Is that correct?
-->'''James:''' *sighs, hangs up*
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 239 (click to see context) from:
* It turns out that they excluded Jeremy because they thought he couldn't catch the ball (even though they chose a dog, a ghost and inanimate objects). Jeremy eventually catches the ball. When he throws the ball back, he [[OhCrap accidentally breaks the Ebola virus' container]] and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere decides to run away as fast as he can]].
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Cooking show:''' Now take a whisk, and thoroughly beat your--
to:
--> '''Cooking show:''' Now take a whisk, and thoroughly really beat your--
