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** Winger makes the cover of a TIME expy newsmagazine posing as the face of the modern U.S. army. With the implication that America may be doomed because of it.
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** Winger makes the cover of a TIME Newsweek expy newsmagazine posing as the face of the modern U.S. army. With the implication that America may be doomed because of it.
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* The Recruiter's Office scene:
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* The Army Recruiter's Office scene:
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-->'''Winger''': Convicted? [[{Beat}]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial ...No.]]
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-->'''Winger''': Convicted? [[{Beat}]] [{{Beat}}] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial ...No.]]
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* The Recruiter's Office scene:
-->'''Recruiter''': Have either one of you been convicted of a major felony? That's robbery, rape, that sort of thing.
-->'''Winger''': Convicted? [[{Beat}]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial ...No.]]
-->'''Ziskey''': [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Never convicted.]]
-->'''Recruiter''': Have either one of you been convicted of a major felony? That's robbery, rape, that sort of thing.
-->'''Winger''': Convicted? [[{Beat}]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial ...No.]]
-->'''Ziskey''': [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Never convicted.]]
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* Ox's explanation for joining is particularly hilarious:
-->'''Ox:''' My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.\\
'''The Rest of the Platoon:''' [[SarcasmMode Nooo! Noooo!]]\\
'''Ox:''' [[SarcasmBlind Yeah, yeah I do.]] Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is ''perfect'' for me! I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine!
-->'''Ox:''' My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.\\
'''The Rest of the Platoon:''' [[SarcasmMode Nooo! Noooo!]]\\
'''Ox:''' [[SarcasmBlind Yeah, yeah I do.]] Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is ''perfect'' for me! I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine!
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** Hulka isn't impressed. Then again, neither are any of the other recruits.
-->'''Psycho''': The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.
-->'''Leon''': [[SarcasmMode Ooooooh.]]
-->'''Psycho''': You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.
-->'''Hulka''': [[DeadpanSnarker Lighten up, Francis.]]
-->'''Psycho''': The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.
-->'''Leon''': [[SarcasmMode Ooooooh.]]
-->'''Psycho''': You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.
-->'''Hulka''': [[DeadpanSnarker Lighten up, Francis.]]
