History Funny / SomeJerkWithACamera

--->'''Spazz:''' Hey look, it's Ugly, and Mangly, and Deformy, [[SerialEscalation and Abominationy, and Don't-Look-At-Me-I'm-A-Monstery,]] [[OverlyLongName and Look-We-Cleary-Had-To-Throw-These-Together-Last-Night-Cut-Us-Some-Freaking-Slacky]] [[OddNameOut and Seymour!]]

-->'''Jerk:''' And though the film was technically owned by Dreamworks, they agreed to keep it exclusive to Ride/UniversalStudios Hollywood! And Florida. And Japan. And eventually Singapore. And Movie Park Germany. And Warner Brothers Movie World in Australia. And it aired on Creator/{{Nickelodeon}} once. And it was shown in UK cinemas [[WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda2 with]] [[WesternAnimation/PussInBoots these]] [[WesternAnimation/Madagascar3 movies]]. And it was released on DVD. And on Creator/{{Netflix}}. And Website/YouTube. [[UpToEleven And given away free with your breakfast]], but other than that...

-->'''Jerk:''' And though the film was technically owned by Dreamworks, they agreed to keep it exclusive to Ride/UniversalStudios Hollywood! And Florida. And Japan. And eventually Singapore. And Movie Park Germany. And Warner Brothers Movie World in Australia. And it aired on Creator/{{Nickelodeon}} once. And it was shown in UK cinemas with these movies. And it was released on DVD. And on Creator/{{Netflix}}. And Website/YouTube. And given away free with your breakfast, but other than that...

-->'''Jerk:''' And though the film was technically owned by Dreamworks, they agreed to keep it exclusive to Ride/UniversalStudios Hollywood! And Florida. And Japan. And eventually Singapore. And Movie Park Germany. And Warner Brothers Movie World in Australia. And it aired on Creator/{{Nickelodeon}} once. And it was shown in UK cinemas with these movies. And it was released on DVD. And on Creator/{{Netflix}}. And Website/YouTube. And given away free with your breakfast, but other than that...

--> '''Jerk:''' As early as the tram ride from the parking garage, they show you tableaus of ''[[SuddenlyShouting OH MY GOD, MICKEY AND MINNIE ARE DEAD!]]'' BELOVED CHILDREN’S ICON MICKEY MOUSE IS A LIFELESS GHOST FORCED TO WANDER THE EARTH IN LIMBO FOR ALL ETERNITY, AND SO IS HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH THE SAME LAST NAME, which is weird. Was it ''murder?!'! I suspect the ghost of Creator/GeorgeCarlin!\\

* Some Jerk talking about Ghost Galaxy (or Space Mountain) and trying to figure out what the galaxy ghost is.

-->'''Jerk Exec:''' (''on cellphone'') We need something big, that will really attract people. Some... huge attractor.

* The title card with a dazed Jerk holding a Polaroid of the Foster-Lambert family with Cody/Flash crossed out with Patrick Duffy's character looking hunched over and a spastic looking Carol entitled: Memories? There is also a billboard in the background telling people to eat at Pinetta's.

-->'''Re-Enactor:''' Wait, you're FOR blowing up planets?

* Creator/JKRowling's negotiations with Disney, featuring the coked-out executive from the review of ''Film/TheHauntedMansion2003'' and Jerk's "You fool, that'll never work" character.
-->'''Exec 1:''' I'm sorry, are YOU an Imagineer!?
-->'''Rowling:''' THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!!!
-->'''Exec 2:''' Says the woman who makes up words left and right! Like "Ministry!"

** He mentions several "barely-acknowledged historical relics" such as ''Film/SoDearToMyHeart'', ''Victory Through Air Power'', [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and]] ''Film/TheNutcrackerAndTheFourRealms'', which came out ''two years'' earlier.

** "Kathleen Kennedy aborted me!"

--->'''Luke:''' I wanted to say something to him but I didn't. [[JustForPun I guess I have a bad motivator.]]

* His parody of "[[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas What's This]]" during the review of "Haunted Mansion Holiday", ultimately ending with "WHAT [[PrecisionFStrike THE FUCK]] IS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS??!!

** This ties into the Channel Awesome intro: [[spoiler:[[VictoryByEndurance "I WIN!"]]]]

** The show ends with [[spoiler:both of them losing and being shipped away for medical experiments.]]

* Jerk gathers his friends together to try and come up with a Halloween version of his show's name. After Spazzmaster refuses to help, Jerk [[EurekaMoment comes up]] with an appropriate Halloween name: [[spoiler:[[TakeThat Spazzmaster Has No Penis]]]].

* The Jerk's "Small World" parody song, [[spoiler:which he uses to defeat the ride]].
* He introduces a whole list of guest stars for the multi-part review. It starts out normal, featuring people who have either already appeared in the review but then it starts getting silly with a guy eating a sandwich listed as "President Gerald Ford", a guy doing backflips as "Big Skip [=McJimmy=], The Wacky Abortionist", a cat falling off a table as "Former President of Chad Hissène Habré", and Texas Gov. Rick Perry as "[=Dickery Douche McDerpHitler=]", culminating with "[[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Weird Al Yankasomething!]]" (credited as Wordd Efl Yarnkkelvllit.chy) [[spoiler:Hilariously enough, Weird Al actually appears in the review!]]

* Jerk's slow-burn realization that [[spoiler:this episode is also a mini-''Series/StepByStep'' crossover]].

--> '''Jerk''': George Bailey was never born, Buckbeak was [[spoiler:put down]], Mr. Peabody was [[spoiler:put down]], the Doctor stole the Supreme Being's map, the Rainmaker killed all the Loopers, Austin Powers' mojo was turned into ''Film/SoylentGreen'', Ted Theodore Logan got sent to Military School in Alaska where he knocked up Sarah Palin's dog and created a dog man who evolved into the Morlocks who worship Sonmi-451 and use seashells for toilet paper, Bill Murray got stuck in a time warp, Tom Cruise got stuck in a time warp ({{Beat}}) again, Homer fixes his toaster, Fry had sex with his grandma, Blendin wins at Globnar, ''Film/TimeCop'' arrested Creator/AshtonKutcher, Boglodites invaded Earth, Bowler Hat Guy's Bowler Hat [[spoiler:enslaved the Robinsons]], Turkeys prevented the first thanksgiving, Rob Coudrey joined Motley Crue, Pottersville was sued into bankruptcy by Creator/JKRowling, Captain Kirk was Chris Pine, Marty [=McFly=] was Eric Stoltz, the drug dealer in ''Film/PulpFiction'' was Michael J. Fox, Peyton Reed was fired from this ride and replaced by Edgar Wright and everyone loved the results (But it still closed), the Lizard People all got existential crises, Mike Nelson was replaced by his brother Eddie, Jeff Wringer rolled a one and everyone turned evil, Miranda July's cat died, some french guy reconnected with a women he saw once, Donnie Darko ({{Beat}}) I don't know, Skynet created the sentinels and killed everyone, aliens raised the dead, apes control the planet, 9/11 never happened, the Omega-13 destroyed the '''UNIVERSE'''...

** Jerk "having a cow", [[spoiler: which turns out to be a horse.]]

* Jerk opens the review complaining about being overshadowed by a project with a similar gimmick. Naturally, he's ranting about [[spoiler: ''[[BaitAndSwitchComparison "MTV'S 'JERKS WITH CAMERAS?!']]'' ''ARE YOU '''SHITTING''' ME?!"'']]

* Jerk is still filming his show in Universal Studios and refuses to go to Disneyland, even though ''Film/EscapeFromTomorrow'' was filmed in Disneyland and Disney World. [[spoiler:He leaves Universal when Spazzmaster tells him that Comcast owns Universal and shoots a new intro in an empty, overgrown urban lot. After this, he constantly changes locations throughout California for the rest of the review.]]

** Jerk calls the ride to tell it that the movie's interpretation of the ride wasn't as scary as Jerk's experience with it. The ride calls him out for the rape jokes that he made during the "It's a Small World Holiday" review. Jerk then [[spoiler: remembers that he also asked the ride to explode in that review. And the ride explodes. Again.]]

** [[spoiler: [[MoodWhiplash Then, when it looks like Jim drowned:]]]]
--> '''Jerk:''' [[spoiler: Jesus. When it rains, it pours.]]
** What street is Jerk standing on when this scene happens? [[spoiler: Film/SunsetBoulevard.]]
** Only for Jerk to be disappointed when it turns out that [[spoiler: Jim did not drown.]]

* Jerk’s reaction to ''Film/TheCountryBears'' having a higher Website/RottenTomatoes score than not only ''The Haunted Mansion'', but also [[spoiler: ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'']].

* Where's The Fat, Universal?: An allusion to Doug Walker's short film "Where's The Fair Use"? The kicker is the end where [[spoiler:the Nostalgia Critic comes along and reveals that Jerk wasn't too fat to ride; he was wearing a sweatshirt around his waist in case it got cold. In California.]]

--->[[spoiler:'''[[Podcast/RiffTrax Kevin Murphy]]''']]: [[Film/PodPeople It stinks!]]

** The commentary is pretty straightforward for the most part, but things get interesting after Tony starts playing [[Music/BruceSpringsteen "My City of Ruins"]], a song he wanted to underscore a montage but, following Hurricane Sandy, [[SincerityMode he thought it'd be in poor taste to use it]]. It makes for pleasant background music, until [[spoiler: Figment pops up and begins wreaking havoc, leading Tony to try and kill him in [[SerialEscalation increasingly violent ways.]]]] Once the deed is done, the music continues playing from the "With these hands" part...then a chorus of Tonys [[spoiler: (and [[BackFromTheDead Figment]])]] start singing along and Tony sings some trivia about Eisner to the tune of the song:

** Whenever Jerk has nothing interesting to say, he does Dueling Bob Gales. At one point, he does Dueling Dueling Bob Gales, which ends up [[spoiler: making the world explode.]]

* He introduces a whole list of guest stars for the multi-part review. It starts out normal, featuring people who have either already appeared in the review but then it starts getting silly with a guy eating a sandwich listed as "President Gerald Ford", a guy doing backflips as "Big Skip [=McJimmy=], The Wacky Abortionist", a cat falling off a table as "Former President of Chad Hissène Habré", and Texas Gov. Rick Perry as "[=Dickery Douche McDerpHitler=], culminating with "[[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Weird Al Yankasomething!]]" (credited as Wordd Efl Yarnkkelvllit.chy) [[spoiler:Hilariously enough, Weird Al actually appears in the review!]]

* Jerk's ''very'' LongList of things that have now changed because the ride went so far back in time. To prevent the following quote from turning into a mess of potholes, a list of each work the Jerk references in the following sentence can be found [[labelnote:here.]]''Film/ItsAWonderfulLife'', ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerofAzkaban'', ''WesternAnimation/MrPeabodyAndSherman'', ''Series/DoctorWho'', ''Film/TimeBandits'', ''Film/TheRainmaker'', ''Film/{{Looper}}'', ''Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe'', ''Film/SoylentGreen'', ''Film/BillAndTedsExcellentAdventure'', ''Film/AWalkInTheClouds'', ''Film/{{Freaked}}'', ''Film/TheTimeMachine1960'', ''Film/CloudAtlas'', ''Film/DemolitionMan'', ''Film/GroundhogDay'', ''Film/EdgeOfTomorrow'', ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', ''Film/TimeCop'', ''Film/TheButterflyEffect'', ''Film/MenInBlack3'', ''WesternAnimation/MeetTheRobinsons'', ''WesternAnimation/FreeBirds'', ''Film/HotTubTimeMachine'', ''It's a Wonderful Life'' (again), ''Film/StarTrek2009'', Eric Stoltz being the original Marty [=McFly=] in ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', ''Film/PulpFiction'', Peyton Reed replacing Edgar Wright on ''Film/AntMan1'', Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Foil", ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', ''Series/{{Community}}'', ''Film/TheFuture'', ''Film/LaJetee'', ''Film/DonnieDarko'', ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'', ''Film/XMenDaysOfFuturePast'', ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace'', and ''Film/GalaxyQuest''.[[/labelnote]]

-> '''[[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs The Evil Queen]]''': [[Film/StreetFighter OF COURSE!]]

* Creator/JKRowling's negotiations with Disney, featuring the coked-out executive from the review of ''Film/TheHauntedMansion'' and Jerk's "You fool, that'll never work" character.

* "Meanwhile, back at the Walken -- '''[[KilledOffForReal OH GOD]] [[FatalMethodActing HE'S DEAD!!!]]''' (''[[SubvertedTrope Walken sits up]]'') ...oh... sorry."

* "Coming [[OscarBait this Oscar season]]: Christopher Walken IS USefulNotes/JoeBiden. Rated R."

* The new Channel Awesome outro has an IronicEcho to the original footage when Jerk reveals that Maelstrom, one of his prior choices, has closed to be replaced by a ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}'' ride:

-->'''Jerk!Southerner''': 'Cause if there's one thing we country folk love, it's higher edumacation! Ain't that right, [[{{WesternAnimation/Cars}} Mater]]?

* Part 3 starts with Jerk explaining that he [[Creator/JamesRolfe refuses to]] [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 2016}} review the rest]] [[TakeThat of the movie,]] and that he plans to make several videos on how refuses to review it, and then more about how he [[OverlyLongGag refuses to refuse to make those videos]], and...

* Jerk’s reaction to ''Film/TheCountryBears'' having a higher Website/RottenTomatoes score than not only The Haunted Mansion, but also [[spoiler: ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'']].

** The commentary is pretty straightforward for the most part, but things get interesting after Tony starts playing [[Music/{{Bruce Springsteen}} "My City of Ruins"]], a song he wanted to underscore a montage but, following Hurricane Sandy, [[SincerityMode he thought it'd be in poor taste to use it]]. It makes for pleasant background music, until [[spoiler: Figment pops up and begins wreaking havoc, leading Tony to try and kill him in [[SerialEscalation increasingly violent ways.]]]] Once the deed is done, the music continues playing from the "With these hands" part...then a chorus of Tonys [[spoiler: (and [[BackFromTheDead Figment]])]] start singing along and Tony sings some trivia about Eisner to the tune of the song:

** They point out that [[WesternAnimation/{{Cars}} Doc Hudson]] has a Dia de los Muertos shrine even though he's still alive in Radiator Springs Racer. Dave speculates that the other cars made this in advance and are plotting to murder him.

** Morgan "knights" Jerk with her lightsaber, naming him "[[ADateWithRosiePalms Sir Jerksalot]]."

** One cast member says "Our leader is a [[Creator/DonaldTrump large orange slug]] and [[TakeThat I hear that's common]]."

** Jerk photoshops Anger's face over Creator/DonaldTrump in the infamous [[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/trump-yelling-at-lawn-mowing-boy lawn mower meme]].

** Jerk {{Corpsing}} as he talks about plans to build a park in Animal Kingdom based on the film ''{{Film/Avatar}}''.

** Jerk launches into a monologue about a "demon" that must be faced before cutting to the Creator/DonaldTrump animatronic at the Hall of Presidents, complete with a fire effect and OminousLatinChanting.

** He ends the video by [[INeedAFreakingDrink opening a flask and taking a drink]] at the prospect of researching videos about Creator/DonaldTrump and the removal of the sex-slave auction at Ride/PiratesOfTheCaribbean.

* "The Hall of Presidents: Attack of the Hideous [[Creator/DonaldTrump Trumpbot]]!" starts with an OpeningCrawl that's a massive TakeThat to anyone who doesn't want him to get political.

--> '''Bev:''' Oh look at us we're the three [[Series/TheMickeyMouseClub Mouseketeers]]. Except I'm the only one with the [[BuxomIsBetter stuff to be Annette]].

Please put all moments from other series Tony Goldmark has does in their appropriate subpages:

'''Buzz:''' Look, let's just see how they do without us, and then-- ''(cut to an image of Epcot)'' Oh, yeah, they're doomed. Alright, move 'em out, let's go.

* Jerk's parody of the California Adventure commercials, where Buzz tells Goofy to not go to the park because "nobody likes a nosy neighbor".