History Funny / SomeJerkWithACamera

![[RunningGag Running Gags]]

* His “Previously on” and “And now back to” segments for each multi-part video.

!Season 1

-->'''Jerk''': Great question, crickets!

--> '''Woman (off-screen):''' Four minutes!
--> '''Jerk:''' Great.

-->'''Jerk''': Hey look, it's Music/MandyMoore! (''buzzer'') Music/MileyCyrus! (''buzzer'') Music/AshleeSimpson! (''buzzer'') Music/VanessaHudgens! (''buzzer'') Music/DemiLovato! (''buzzer'') Music/KylieMinogue! (''buzzer'') Nelly Furtado! (''buzzer'') ...Music/ShaniaTwain? (''buzzer'') ...Bristol Palin? (''buzzer'') Umm... (Caption: ''Krystal Marie Harris'') Krystal Marie Harris! I was so... gonna know it.
-->(''Later'')
-->'''Jerk''': You're Music/CarrieUnderwood! (''buzzer'') Music/TaylorSwift! (''buzzer'') Music/HilaryDuff! (''buzzer'') Haylie Duff! (''buzzer'') [[Music/SpiceGirls Baby Spice]]! (''buzzer'') (Caption: ''Three Hours Later'') ...Zac {{Music/Hanson}}. (''buzzer'') [[Series/TheGoldenGirls Rue McClanahan]]. (''buzzer'') Krystal Marie Harris in a blond wig. (''buzzer'') I dunno... I should know this- (Caption: ''Jennifer Paige'') Jennifer Pai- okay now you're just making up pop stars.

* "Meanwhile, back at the Walken- '''[[KilledOffForReal OH GOD]] [[FatalMethodActing HE'S DEAD!!!]]''' (''[[SubvertedTrope Walken sits up]]'') ...oh... sorry."

--->'''Walken''': (smashes a model of Country Bear Hall) [[SarcasmMode OH NO! Country Bear Hall has been crushed!]]

-->'''Jerk''': Thanks, [[Creator/BradPitt Brad]].

-->'''Jerk''': The greatest line in cinema history is in ''The Country Bears'', who knew?

-->'''Jerk''': Because if I lived in Detroit I'd want to leave too! If my car was built there, it'd probably get as far as the airport [[EveryCarIsAPinto before it blew up]].

-->'''Michael Eisner''': Ve vant zhe tourists to schtay in ze park. Vhy do they leave ze park?\\
'''Disney Employee''': Uh, well, uh, Mr. Eisner sir, according to the market research we've done, people leave so they can explore the rest of California!\\
'''Michael Eisner''': Then ve vill bring the rest of California ''HEEEEEEEERE!!!''\\

* Jerk's imagines how the tractor "ride" must have been thought up.
-->'''Jerk Exec''': (''on cellphone'') We need something big, that will really attract people. Some... huge attractor.
-->'''Jerk Worker''': (''taking notes'') Huge... tractor, got it. (''finishes note and groans'')

--> '''Buzz''': Look at that phenomenal theme park over there, let’s stay out of it!\\
'''Goofy''': Why?\\
'''Buzz''': Uhhhh… because they don’t need us!\\
'''Goofy:''' They need us to promote it apparently…\\
'''Buzz''': Nah, they'll be alright, they have a tractor!\\
'''Goofy''': I thought I was supposed to be the idiot…\\
'''Buzz''': Look, let’s just see how they do without us, and then- ''(cut to an image of Epcot)'' Oh, yeah, they’re doomed. Alright, move 'em out, let’s go.

-->'''Jerk''': A big ol' hubcap that looks almost exactly nothing like the sun. (''gets up close to camera'') It's like you wanna fail.

-->'''Jerk''': It's the exact same ride, but now Mickey's on it! Hi Mickey! (''waves'') He never waves back.

-->'''Jerk''': Sure he's got a cool flight simulator in his basement, but then you gotta talk to the guy. And he's boring.

-->'''Jerk''': There's no story so it's no good! Hmph!

-->'''Jerk''': ...the Japanese beat us at something that combines technology with artistry?! How is that even possible?! We're way smarter than the- well, no. Our cartoons are way better- well no. Our sexual perversions- (''sighs'') We're taller! That's right! We! Are taller! Than them! USA! USA! USA- I'm gonna go get drunk...

-->'''Jerk''': IT'S TOO EXCITING, I CAN'T STAND IT.

-->'''Jerk''': Apparently ''Aladdin'' was in California the whole time! (Caption: ''"When cameling on the I-5, visit beautiful Agrabah, CA."'') Well, that does explain the customer service. (''Clip of Jasmine about to get her hand chopped off for not paying for an apple.'')

-->'''Jerk''': (''whispering'') It's a ''real'' potato. We genetically mutated it. It's gonna kill us all sometime in the next five years. Shhh!

-->'''Mr. Potato Head''': Let's try that again: "I love you, Mr. Potatohead!"
-->'''Kids''': I love you Mr. Potatohead!
-->'''Jerk''': ''It demands your worship.''

* [=SJWAC=]'s reaction to the OpeningScroll at the beginning.
--> '''[=SJWAC=]''': Why are these words all backwards? ''({{beat}})'' Damn, kids.

--> '''[Re-Enactor]''': Wait, you're FOR blowing up planets?
--> '''[=SJWAC=]''': (defensively) I happen to think it looks cool.
* [[WebVideo/TheIdiotsLantern The Wire]], [[WebVideo/RBGProductions Spazzmaster]], and [=SJWAC=]'s conversation about Some Jerk remaining "cautiously optimistic" about the new ''Star Tours''.
--> '''Jerk''': And now only this gift shop remains, until June 3rd when the new ride opens. But for better or worse it'll never be quite the same. Despite all our prays, the deal has been altered further. And I gotta tell ya. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I. Am.]] [[BaitAndSwitch Cautiously optimistic]].
--> '''The Wire''' and '''Spazzmaster''': ''What?''
--> '''Jerk''': I know, I'm surprised too, but I am cautiously optimistic.
--> '''Spazzmaster''': Jerk, what is wrong with you?
--> '''The Wire''': HE'S A WITCH.
--> '''Jerk''': Look, I'm sorry, but even after [[TheScrappy Jar-Jar]] and Greedo and Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen and Jar-Jar and Boss Nass and the rat tail and the midi-chlorians and Jar-Jar and all the [=CGI=] and [[RunningGag Jar-Jar and Jar-Jar and Jar-Jar]] and the eternal Creator/CSpan footage and that stupid fucking monologue about sand and all that [[Creator/PattonOswalt "you get to see him as a little kid"]] bullshit. And even after ''(plays the clip of [[{{Narm}} Darth Vader going]] [[BigNo "NOOooOOOoooOOOooo!"]])'', ''(shrugs)'' I still remain cautiously optimistic. Sorry.
--> '''The Wire''': Jerk, you're friends are all here. So why don't you show us on the Ewok where ''Star Wars'' touched you?
--> '''Jerk''': ''(takes the Ewok toy)'' Look, I already told you, [[NotIfTheyEnjoyedItRationalization I must have been asking for it]]!

--> '''Anti-Ranting Jerk''': [[HilariousInHindsight Let. It. Go.]]

--> '''SJWAC''': "CAPTAIN EO IS STARLORD'S REAL FATHER! Fess up, Kevin Feige, I figured it all out, didn't I!?"

--> '''SJWAC''': C'mon, at least he's gotta be Groot's real father! (Cue baby Groot dancing to Michael Jackson)

--> '''SJWAC''': What kid with healthy imagination wouldn't get psyched over "Mickey's Not-so-Scary Halloween Party".
--> ''(in black and white, dramatic music plays)''
--> '''SJWAC''': It wasn't just scary, kids. I can handle scary. It was not so scary. ''[[DramaticThunder (thunder strikes)]]'' I'm sorry, it's not an easy thing to relive. I think I might have [=PNSO=], Post-Non-Traumatic Stress Order from just how not-so-scary it was. It was so not-so-scary that just remembering it is enough to drive even the toughest man sane. ''[[LaughingMad (giggling maniacally)]]'' I'm sorry, I was thinking of something really funny Creator/CraigFerguson said last week. ''(in a demonic voice)'' But I digress. ''(whispering)'' It was not-so-scary, kids. It was not-so-scary.
-->'''Rosenhacker''': So how much fun do you think I would have had?
-->'''SJWAC''': Not much.
-->'''Rosenhacker''': Yay?

--> '''[=SJWAC=]''': All they change about the ride is the music, the lighting, and the projections and it feels like a totally different experience in which you get chased through the cosmos by... this thing, a fiery vengeful spirit demon ghost thing with... Can I get some help on this one from a ghost expert?
--> '''[[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} Ray Stantz]]''': What you have there is what we refer to as a focused non-terminal repeating phantasm.
--> '''[=SJWAC=]''': No, I meant a real ghost expert.
--> '''[[StealthPun "Real"]] [[WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters Egon Spengler]]''': They shouldn't have the energy for roving attacks.
--> '''[=SJWAC=]''': No, I meant a non-fictional ghost expert. Just anyone with a basic cable show.
--> '''Creator/ConanOBrien''': WesternAnimation/{{Space Ghost| Coast to Coast}} is obviously a space man who died and became a space ghost.
--> '''WesternAnimation/{{Space Ghost| Coast to Coast}}''': No.
--> '''Conan O'Brien''': [[LargeHam FACE IT, SPACE GHOST!]]
--> '''Space Ghost''': No.
--> '''Conan O'Brien''': [[LargeHam YOU'RE A SPACE MAN THAT CHOKED ON A MUFFIN!]]

--> '''[[WesternAnimation/ToyStory3 Andy]]:''' Now, Woody...he's been my pal for as long as I can remem-
--> '''Caption''': '''[[MoodWhiplash By the way,]] [[JumpScare G-FORCE SUCKED.]] [[SelfDeprecation Sincerely, The Filmmakers.]]'''
--> '''Andy:''' -never give up on you. Ever.

!Season 2

[[folder: The Simpsons Ride]]

* Jerk’s reaction to a majority of Universal’s movies about amusement parks being about deadly amusement parks:
--> “Universal: Can you identify this corpse?”
* After predicting that Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem will stay open way after people know what the franchise is, Jerk asks the audience to go to [[WesternAnimation/AnAmericanTail Fievel’s Playland]] at Universal Studios Florida and ask the children playing there who the fuck Fievel is. A warning then pops up advising the viewers not to do that unless they enjoy prison.

-->“Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.”

** Jerk “having a cow”, [[spoiler: which turns out to be a horse.]]

--> '''Jerk''': And though the film was technically owned by Dreamworks, they agreed to keep it exclusive to Ride/UniversalStudios Hollywood! And Florida. And Japan. And eventually Singapore. And Movie Park Germany. And Warner Brothers Movie World in Australia. And it aired on Creator/{{Nickelodeon}} once. And it was shown in UK cinemas with these movies. And it was released on DVD. And on Creator/{{Netflix}}. And Website/YouTube. And given away free with your breakfast, but other than that...

--> '''Beetlejuice:''' This guy, I don't know...

--> '''Shrek:''' It's slang for the most despicably, unconscionably perverted sexual act a dragon can do to a donkey. Can we try it later?

* In the "One Movie Later" for ''Film/FantasticBeastsAndWhereToFindThem'', Jerk hopes he doesn't immediately projectile vomit the moment he sees Creator/JonVoight.[[note]]This was Jerk's first video shot after the election of Donald Trump as President. Voight is a Trump supporter while Jerk is not. [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgment Let's just leave it at that]][[/note]]

* State of the Parks Minisode - January 20, 2021
** Jerk says using Disneyland as a supervaccination site is a great idea. They can keep the vaccines refrigerated right next to Walt's frozen corpse while Cast Members are already good at managing long lines while getting disabled people to the front.

* How he discusses the fact that Michael Jackson's real-life child molestation accusations turn the whole show into a FunnyAneurysmMoment. He invents a new show to replace it starring Creator/CharlieSheen, Creator/MelGibson, Tiger Woods, Casey Anthony, Creator/RomanPolanski, and UsefulNotes/OsamaBinLaden.

'''Buzz''': Look, let’s just see how they do without us, and then- ''(cut to an image of Epcot)'' Aw, yeah, they’re doomed. Alright, move 'em out, let’s go.

-->'''Buzz''': Nah, they'll be alright; they have a tractor!
-->'''Goofy''': I thought I was supposed to be the idiot...

-->'''Guru:''' Yeah, we got a lot of these bullshit movies in the 90’s! Movies where an aging comedian plays a workaholic dad who learns through supernatural contrivance that he’s a worthless human being unless he spends EVERY WAKING MOMENT with his [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons DAMN WEINER KIDS!]] These films reinforce the bottomless the bottomless egos of the damn weiner kids of the baby boomers!

* After that brief bout of ''[[Franchise/IndianaJones Illinois Smith and the Temple of Dumb]]'', Jerk forgives the episode's events, [[TemptingFate just as long as it doesn't retread any of the previous Disney World episodes' mistakes...]] [[BerserkButton and the VERY NEXT CLIP is of the brothers riding the (just-recently augmented with an extra drop the WEEK the episode aired) Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.]] [[UpToEleven And the bellhop in this clip looks EXACTLY like the one in the "Family Matters" episode.]]

-->'''Guru:''' Yeah, we got a lot of these bullshit movies in the 90’s! Movies where an aging comedian plays a workaholic dad who learns through supernatural contrivance that he’s a worthless human being unless he spends EVERY WAKING MOMENT with his [[TheSimpsons DAMN WEINER KIDS!]] These films reinforce the bottomless the bottomless egos of the damn weiner kids of the baby boomers!

-->'''Haley!Leota''': My name is Leota! Now suck on my ball!

[[folder:Escape From Vault Disney 2019 - 2020]]
!!Film/SmartHouse
* The movie has a son trying to take over his late mother's duties so that his father won't date and replace her. The gang points out in a roundabout way that there are some things a woman could do for his father than a son couldn't. Then Jerk bluntly says [[ParentalIncest the son wants to fuck his dad]] and the others [[{{Squick}} react appropriately]].
* While discussing a scene where preteen boys imitate a BoyBand's choreography, they point out no teenage boy from the 90's would ever admit to enjoying a boy band due to how repressed and insecure in their masculinity they all were.
* While discussing the AIIsACrapshoot trope, Dave recounts a story where he went out for doughnuts and his GPS led him to an empty gravel parking lot at night and he thought "My GPS is trying to kill me!"

!!''Meet the Deedles''
* After watching the movie, Jerk's first statement is that the whole podcast was a bad idea.
* Jerk remembers that on Series/SiskelAndEbert, Ebert would torture Siskel by repeating "Deedle" over and over again.
* Luke initially mistakes this movie for ''Meet the Applegates'', a movie about giant insects pretending to be human. The others are in disbelief that the movie even exists.
* Dave took a page of notes for Smart House but only five for this movie, most of them just being [[BigWhy "Why?"]]
* Luke says the movie was probably [[TotallyRadical written in the 80's and sat on a desk for several years.]]
* Dave says that a female character refers to her father as her ''step''father so many times it sounds like the setup to a porn movie.
* Jerk finds out that one of the actresses who played a minor character in the movie is now a countess.

!!''WesternAnimation/{{Amphibia}}'' Episode 13
* Jerk says that Wisconsinites show affection by emptying dog food on people's heads.
* Luke discusses a meeting he had at Creator/CartoonNetwork where they said most of their shows were for kids six to eleven while Creator/AdultSwim was for people eighteen and over. Luke asked why they assumed kids twelve to seventeen don't watch cartoons. They must be too busy Videogame/{{Fortnite}} [[TotallyRadical dancing]] and being indoctrinated into Nazism on Youtube.
* The podcast features an "appearance" by the character [[https://amphibiapedia.fandom.com/wiki/Gunther Gunther]], a dopey frog with a Southern accent.
* They interview him with a RunningGag being his inconsistency over whether or not he's a self-aware, [[BreakingTheFourthWall fourth wall-breaking]] cartoon character or an actual sentient talking frog.
* Gunther is apparently stuck in a GroundhogDayLoop, reliving reruns of Episode 13 over and over again.
* Tony eventually gets so frustrated with Gunther's stupidity he starts breaking his stuff and throwing him against the wall.
* The guys eventually [[ToadLicking lick Gunther to get high]]. Gunther later reveals that Tony licked his ass.
* Luke says that if the creators of Amphibia are listening, he begs them to give him a job so that he can exit the existential nightmare of the podcast.
* ''Twas the Night''
** Santa Claus shows up in the middle of the podcast and the cast grill him about "[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything tickling]]" kids in their sleep.
* It's revealed that "Santa" is actually Carl Featherbottom, a twelve-year-old with a very deep voice who escaped from a juvenile prison.
* They offer Santa a hot dog and he makes a slurping sound rather than an eating sound. They then say he sucked it up his ''nose''.
* It's later revealed that "Carl" isn't human at all. He's an alien and only then do the podcasters mention that he's green. Jerk responds with a BigWhat to the fact that they're making first contact with an [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot alien who's also a runaway child with a birth defect who's also Santa Claus]].
* Santa makes a warbling, alien noise. Then he says he's just clearing his throat.
* For the "What's the Attraction" section, "Carl" suggests a Haunted Mansion overlay starring Creator/BryanCranston. Not an animatronic, the actual Bryan Cranston chained to a wall, trying desperately to get his Tony Award back.
** The "LAPD" knocks on the door only to reveal that it's Kyle Carrozza, who is nicknamed "LAPD" because [[TakeThat he's a plaything of the rich]].
!!''Series/TheBookOfPooh'' - Day of the Knights/Come As Eeyore
* They mock how [[UncannyValley strange]] Owl looks due to the fact he has no eyelids.
* The guys say that Creator/PeterCullen, Eeyore's voice actor, accidentally slips into his [[{{Franchise/Transformers}} Optimus Prime]] voice occasionally. This leads to the creation of Pessimist Prime, where they say several of Optimus' noble, uplifting lines in Eeyore's voice.
* They then suggest that Eeyore would be an alt-right comedian and was also the first Goth.
* The next episode is "Bravehat", which of course results in them doing ''{{Film/Braveheart}}'''s famous RousingSpeech in Eeyore's voice.
* The description of the next episode, which is "Piglet finds courage in a new hat." Zach imagines that Piglet literally reaches into a hat and pulls out WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog.
* The "Dueling Poohs" segment between Kyle and Zach, which escalates into the two Poohs getting into a fight and one threatening to fuck the other's mother in the ass.
** Every moment with Zach for that matter.
** (Doubles as [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments a heartwarming moment]]) On the Thanks For The Magic stream, Zach reprised his impression of Pooh at a donation tracker’s request who was working the graveyard. It made her laugh so fucking hard.
-->'''Luke:''' We're reviewing a pre-school show, by the way.
* Between takes, "Pooh" claims to eat people and shit them out in the woods.
* They, of course, make a joke about Chinese President UsefulNotes/XiJinping. "Aaaand, BannedInChina!"
* For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Luke suggests "Eeyore's Pointless Hole of Despair."
!!''WesternAnimation/TheWild''
* Tony recalls a negative review entitled "[[IncrediblyLamePun Badagascar]]" [[note]]the movie is a ripoff of ''{{WesternAnimation/Madagascar}}''[[/note]]. Then Kyle calls the movie "Sadagascar."
* "This movie does not deserve a sentence as awesome as '[[ARareSentence A villainous wildebeest voiced by]] Creator/WilliamShatner.'"
* Brianna points out the Hindu pigeons. Their accents are so fake that Jerk suggests that Hari Kondabolu make a documentary about it.
* They point out the UnfortunateImplications of the female giraffe falling in love with a squirrel who is basically a sexual harasser. Jerk than parodies typical victim-blamers who pop out of the woodwork whenever there's a big sexual misconduct allegation.
* They speculate that Eddie Izzard's line "I seem to be running and falling down a lot" is just Eddie venting his frustration at the script.
* David's "[[BetterThanABareBulb When you're making an animated film, you don't need to have good jokes as long as somebody in the movie points out how bad the jokes are.]]"
!!''Pooh's Heffalump Movie''
* This is the second Pooh movie they've done, so they say they're diving back into the "pile of Pooh."
* When they learn the Heffalump's name is Lumpy, they start singing "[[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial A Day to Celebrate]]."
!!''{{Film/Halloweentown}} 2: Kalabar's Revenge''
* Kalabar, the title character, isn't in the movie at all.
* Jerk's depiction of a phone call between Halloweentown and the real world. Since it's a YearOutsideHourInside, one end would be a MotorMouth while the other would be incredibly slow.
* In the movie, a girl flirts with a boy by saying [[{{Narm}} "Let's go up to my grandma's room."]] Jerk jokes about how they'll be fucking on a bed that stinks like an old lady.
* Jerk describes Kal's fake dad as looking like the love child of [[Creator/AdamDriver Kylo Ren]] and Creator/BenedictCumberbatch.
* Jerk speculates that the movie was too cheap to hire extras and just got a bunch of random homeless people to be in the movie for free craft services.
!!''Film/ReadItAndWeep''
* Charlie says he once worked for Toys R Us after high school. Morgan than mocks him with an old-woman impression.
* They are confused about the character named Is. Jerk wonders if the movie will be about the [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton definition of "is."]]
* Charlie reads the description of the movie in his announcer voice, including all the minutia like the duration, release date, genre, rating, format, etc.
* Haley describes the star's hair as being [[AGoodNameForARockBand two little tendrils]].
* Morgan instantly guesses that a male character won't be the love interest due to his [[JustFriends best friends bowl cut hair]].
* Since the movie is about a girl's diary becoming a bestseller, Jerk compares it to ''Literature/TheDiaryOfAYoungGirl.''
* Haley compares the HollywoodHomely lead to herself in high school, including her poorly-fitted screen-print T-shirts, her lopsided French braid, and blue shimmer lip gloss which made her look "like a drowning victim."
* Haley randomly asks Morgan what she thinks about liver on pizza just so they can gloat about the podcast passing UsefulNotes/TheBechdelTest.
* The FridgeHorror at a scene where a whale piñata breaks open and spills seaweed onto a high school dance, including pizza. As far as they know, the seaweed isn't sanitary and was just pulled right out of the ocean. Haley speculates that the movie takes place in [[Literature/TheShadowOverInnsmouth Innsmouth]].
* Charlie realizes that the movie is basically a female ''Film/BlankCheck''.
* When the female lead literally silences a male character by stepping on his mouth, Jerk wonders why incels haven't latched onto the movie. Morgan says it's because the NiceGuy actually gets with the girl at the end, which would have incels screaming [[CallBack "Verisimilitude compromised!"]]
* Spazz wonders why the teenage boy has a brother who looks about forty. Morgan speculates that the actor was so vain he refused to play the kid's father and was rewritten as a brother.
* Jerk says the movie makes him understand why ''Film/HighSchoolMusical'' was such a big hit. If most Disney Channel movies were this mediocre, HSM must have seemed mind-blowingly excellent.
* Haley says the main character's brother seems like a guy who [[TestosteronePoisoning doesn't wash his ass well because he thinks it's gay.]] Baffled, Jerk asks if that's a [[DeepSouth Southern expression]]. Haley says it's actually an internet thing. Then Spazz mentions a Reddit story about a girl who said her boyfriend never washed his genitals because he thought ''that'' was gay.
* After saying a character looked like their friend Garrett, they say the character spends way more time on his hair than any straight male teenager and looks like a John Mayer knockoff. Spazz quickly chimes in with "For the record, we're not talking about you, Garrett."
* Haley explains the "lesbian dance loophole."[[note]]High school girls without dates going as couples so that they can get a discounted price on the tickets.[[/note]]
* Both of Jerk's [[BerserkButton Berserk Buttons]] get pressed. Morgan uses the expression "It's a very [[Ride/ItsASmallWorld small world]]", which results in everyone subtly alluding to the ride as Jerk threatens them. Charlie then mentions Is saying "[[Ride/JourneyIntoImagination figments of imagination.]]"
!!''{{WesternAnimation/Doug}}'' Episode 21: Quailman vs. The Triad of Terror
* Haley muses that Doug was part of a mellow, slice-of-life genre that died out after 9/11.
-->'''Spazz:''' [[MoodWhiplash Hey, let's watch this Disney Plus cartoon!]]
* Jerk describes the title of ''WesternAnimation/Dougs1stMovie'' as "ominous", as if they were threatening to make more.
* They remember how Disney's Doug was once branded as "Brand Spanking-New Doug." It was wisely shortened back to "Disney's Doug."
* Spazz says "Without further a-Doug."
-->'''Haley:''' [[LamePunReaction Sit in the corner.]]
-->'''Spazz:''' I am in the corner
* They point out how Nickelodeon's Doug theme song is a EarWorm that they could remember even years after the show went off the air but the Disney theme song they couldn't remember with a "gun to their heads" even though they just watched the show.
* They end up going on a tangent about educational TV requirements, ''WesternAnimation/FatAlbertAndTheCosbyKids'', and a FunnyAneurysmMoment with Creator/BillCosby.
* While discussing [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Online_Privacy_Protection_Act COPPA]], Spazz says he has the "[[IncrediblyLamePun COPPA Feels]]." Haley [[LamePunReaction boos him]].
!!''Frank and Ollie''
* Tony describes how he first met WebVideo/JennyNicholson through Kevin Perjurer of Webvideo/{{Defunctland}}. Kevin recognized Tony but Tony couldn't recognize him since he doesn't show his face in his videos. He jokingly acts surprised that Kevin doesn't just look like a living wax statue. Jenny jokes that he's hideously deformed.
* Dave says he was such a boring kid that he owned this, a documentary about two of Creator/DisneysNineOldMen, on VHS. Tony then one-ups him by saying that he saw this movie ''in theaters''.
* Jenny expresses disappointment that this is a documentary and not a [[CanineCompanion dog]] [[ABoyAndHisX movie]].
* The gang mocks how Andy Gaskill [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday seems perplexed by close male frienships and insists that he's not that close with men.]]
* The movie includes [[SarcasmMode riveting scenes]] like the director packing shoes to visit his father and shaving.
* They note how [[GrailInTheGarbage casually]] Frank and Ollie treat the original drawings they did for ''WesternAnimation/TheJungleBook1967'', which could be sold for thousands of dollars. Jenny imagines Disney archivists raiding their homes like TheMenInBlack to save the drawings after they die.
* The son of Frank and Ollie's old landlord apparently held funerals in the backyard for dead grass.
-->'''Tony:''' And he grew up to be Charles Manson!
* Dave says a [[RamblingOldManMonologue story]] about how Frank and Ollie would share the same razor felt really [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Grandpa Simpson]].
* [[MoodWhiplash And then the Nazis came!]]
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Disney animation is full of sexually aggressive squirrels.]]"
* Jenny mistakes a caricature of Frank Thomas for "Big WesternAnimation/{{Pinocchio}}."
* Alessandra reveals a surprising connection between her and [[Music/TheShermanBrothers Robert Sherman]]. Robert had identical twin granddaughters and Alessandra's brother dated them both without telling them so he's been banned from their house. One of history's greatest songwriting legends had a personal grudge against her brother.
* Jenny says John Canemaker sounds like either a serial killer or a space alien based on how rigidly and clinically he describes animation.
* Jenny is shocked when Tony says he didn't like ''Film/SmartHouse''.
!!''Theatre/{{Newsies}}''
* Nicholas says that when he first watched the movie, he loved it so much that he had to pause the movie and gush about it to his sister.
* Tony shamefully admits that he's never seen the play or the movie, which makes him a bad Disney fan.
* Tony compares the line "Why do grown-ups talk?" to the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] phrase "OK, boomer."
* Nicholas wonders how the movie Newsies could afford to eat at restaurants if they're not making any money.
-->'''Dave:''' [[MST3KMantra So you're wondering how they eat and drink and other science facts?]]
* Dave calls Pullitzer's song "[[VillainSong Bottom Line]]" the "Bob Chapek Anthem."
* Tony says that Crutchy was given that name by his parents and it was a complete coincidence that he broke his leg later on.
* David asks "How many Disney movies end in Deus Ex Roosevelt?" [[note]]Teddy Roosevelt appears in ''Newsies'' while Franklin Roosevelt appears in ''Annie''[[/note]]
* Nicholas says that ''Film/GangsOfNewYork'' is like if Creator/MartinScorsese said "What if the Newsies wasn't fun and also sucked and was three hours long?"
-->'''Dave:''' But it's cinema![[note]]A reference to Scorsese's controversial statement that Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse movies aren't cinema[[/note]]
* Alessandra says "Hard Disney Plus. I want Jeremy Jordan to snap my neck."
* The next movie the randomizer assigns them is ''Film/Jack1996'', causing Tony and Kevin to burst out laughing.
!!''Film/Jack1996'':
* They mock the SerialEscalation of the scene where more and more kids start playing outside Jack's house hoping to coax him out of his HeroicBSOD. They imagine a full-blown parade outside his house and Elon Musk appearing in a DrillTank.
* The font of the credits in this lighthearted kids' movie looks like a [[CutAndPasteNote ransom note]].
* They imagine that contractual obligation was the ''only'' way the studio could have gotten so many talented people to work on such a bad movie.
* The movie is mistakenly listed on Disney Plus as a superhero movie. Tony speculates that it was a TakeThat to Creator/FrancisFordCoppola for siding with Creator/MartinScorsese in insulting superhero movies.
** And earlier, Tony calls out Coppola's hypocrisy since he ''literally'' made a theme park movie with ''Captain EO''.
* For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Jerk proposes an attraction where [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} the Genie]] selects a bunch of kids and has a contest over who can act the most like a grown-up Creator/RobinWilliams. It will be called [[JustForPun the Jack-Off]]. The others [[LamePunReaction react appropriately]].
!!Bug Juice: My Adventures at Camp Episode 16
* Tony says that if you took one line off the graphic of the "Wazi News" segment, it would be "Nazi News."
-->'''Tony:''' [[NWordPrivileges At least they aren't sending the Jews to camp.]]
* They talk about their own experiences with summer camp: Tony says he never came back without some disease while Chris says his experience was so bad that he decided not to graduate from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts.
* Tony says the show is just the last verse of "Hullo Maddah, Hullo Fadduh".
* Chris says he likes going out into nature...so long as there's no people.
* The big difference between kid camping and adult camping: Lots of weed and alcohol.
* They {{lampshade}} that the show is so uninteresting that they've just started talking about their own camping experiences.
* The camp had "Vegas Night" and one boy went around asking girls to fake-marry him. "Welcome to Camp [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Epstein Epstein]]!"
* The tagline for Camp Waziyatah: [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial We are definitely not a cult!]]
* They mention a CreepyChild who lists off her favorite foods. Cookies, brownies, and (sudden close-up) [[CreepyMonotone ice cream]].
* They talk about how every little kid wants to be an older kid, every older kid wants to be an adult, and every adult wants to be a kid. They then [[SelfDeprecation mock adults who are desperate to return to their hopeful, innocent youth by creating silly webshows that give them an excuse to watch old Disney shows and go to theme parks.]]
!!Shipwrecked
* Chris speculates that the movie is about an alternate universe where the [[PortmanteauCoupleName Reylo]] ship from ''Film/TheRiseOfSkywalker'' didn't happen and all the shippers rioted.
* When they come back from watching the movie, they all speak in exaggerated Scandinavian accents.
-->'''Tony:''' Just remember, [[NWordPrivileges it's not racist if it's white people!]]
* Tony calls the movie ''Film/CastAway [[SpinOffBabies Babies]]''. The guys spent the movie shouting "Wilson!" in their fake Scandinavian accents.
* They discuss the film's ArtisticLicenseHistory. Tony mentions a ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' scene where the characters travel back to the 20th century and want to go disco-dancing and mammoth-hunting.
* Then they move on to [[ArtisticLicenseBiology biology]]. At the start of the movie, Chris hopes that a monkey shows up just so he can bitch about it being in the wrong place. ''That actually happens.''
* For the "What's the Attraction" bit, Zach suggests chucking kids off the ''Columbia'' and making them escape Tom Sawyer Island while being waylaid by a guy in a gorilla suit. Tony suggests the same thing, but with real gorillas.
!! Pinocchio
!! WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1992 (series) [=S3E3=] - Island of Fear
* Rob Bergman, the patron who won Tony's contest to identify everyone in the Zip-Ah-Dee-Doo-Dah montage coincidentally also won the "Show Me Your Doc" contest. So he's very good at winning Some Jerk contests.
-->'''Morgan:''' Hashtag Obscure Superpowers!
* Morgan remembers being terrified of an episode where a creepy sponge latches onto people's brains and sucks out their imagination. Kyle Carrozza says it sounds like Creator/JhonenVasquez wrote that episode.
* Tony wonders why Ariel's merman friend Urchin doesn't appear in the movie. Kitty speculates that he [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons died on his way back to his home planet.]]
* Tony's first comment after watching the episode: [[BigWhat "What the fuck was that?"]]
* Morgan wonders how many kids were unintentionally traumatized by this show. Tony imagines a little girl who wants to see the Little Mermaid shocked by the sudden appearance of CRAB MONSTERS!
* Kyle says the show probably would've given more kids nightmares if it were animated better.
* They speculate that the whole writing staff of the show is just disaffected horror writers resentful they had to work on ''The Little Mermaid''.
* Tony imagines that Dr. Vile's grandchild will eventually insist that [[Film/YoungFrankenstein his name is pronounced]] [[ItsPronouncedTroPay "vee-lay"]].
* Tony pointing out the FridgeBrilliance of the episode. Sebastian starts out singing he loves the beach, which contradicts his characterization in the movie. His experiences with Dr. Vile must have given him PTSD.
* [[RunningGag "CRAB EXPERIMENTS!"]]
* For the "What's The Attraction?" portion, Morgan proposes "Crab Experiments" as a new dish at a park restaurant.
* Tony suggests that random riders on "Ariel's Undersea Adventure" be taken down an alternate path to Dr. Vile's laboratory.
!!WesternAnimation/MiloMurphysLaw [=S1E12-13=] - Missing Milo parts 1 & 2
* Tony says if you split his brain in half, it would just be half Disney trivial and half Music/WeirdAlYankovic trivia. Zach says that the middle of his brain must just be "Skipper Dan" on repeat.
* The ad for the podcast Channel KRT starts like an ad for a medicine, with Katie asking if you find yourself wondering if the obscure TV show you once saw was real or just a fever dream. It ends with Katie saying [[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud "Cut to static"]].
* Tony says one of his hobbies is collecting rare Weird Al songs that aren't on any albums. Jeff asks if Tony secretly records Al in the shower.
* Tony tells Zach that the show's Zack is one of those [[FelonyMisdemeanor "heathens"]] that spells their name with a K. Zach says it means he'll grow up to [[Creator/ZackSnyder write]] [[TakeThat bad]] [[Franchise/DCExtendedUniverse DC movies]].
* "And that's all we're going to say about ''Franchise/HarryPotter''!"[[note]]They discuss several series, including Harry Potter, and their approach to time travel. Tony says this in reference to J.K. Rowling's controversial statements on transgender people.[[/note]]
* For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Zach suggests converting "Great Times With Mr. Lincoln" into a show about everything that's gone wrong in 2020. They'll call it "Milo Murphy's Year."
* Tony laments that they couldn't get someone from the Weird Al podcast "Weird Alphabet" to join them only for David Spencer to call in and ask to join at the very last minute.
* Tony refers to ''WesternAnimation/ChickenLittle'' as a "classic?"
!!WesternAnimation/ChickenLittle
* Tony starts by talking about an old Disney short by the same name, which involves a fox reading ''Literature/MeinKampf''. The book's title was later changed to ''Psychology'' because [[FunnyAneurysmMoment they didn't want the movie to become dated after the war]].
* Tony calls ''WesternAnimation/Cars2'' garbage. Luke, who loves the ''Cars'' franchise, says his ears suddenly caught COVID and he couldn't hear anything he just said.
* Luke compares Disney in its transitional early-2000s era to an awkward, directionless teenager going through puberty. Tony builds on the analogy by comparing the current Disney era to a person having a mid-life crisis and being obsessed with nostalgia.
* Luke's description of the opening scene for ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''
-->'''Luke:''' Creator/DavidSpade in ''[[Series/HowIMetYourMother How I Wet Your Llama]]''."
* While discussing the appearance of the live-action ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'' in the movie, Luke says they should have made Indiana Jones a dog for the MythologyGag and so they could name the movie ''[[IncrediblyLamePun Raiders of the Lost Bark]]''.
* The gang mocks how dated the movie is due to the Music/BareNakedLadies song and a scene where several characters take out their phones and ''call'' their friends rather than texting.
* David says the movie reminded him of being the worst kid on his Little League team. After one lucky hit, he's transferred to infield...where he breaks his thumb and is out for the rest of the season.
* Tony remembers the NightmareFuel promotion where Disney California Adventure and Disney MGM Studios had [[https://www.themeparksandentertainment.com/2020/06/chicken-little-blow-up-disneys-mgm.html giant Chicken Little balloons peering over the tops of buildings.]] One Twitter user posted the pic with the caption "Bow before your God!"
* In a call-back to the "Raiders of the Lost Bark" joke, Luke says "Rakes, why did it have to be rakes?" in a Scooby-Doo voice.
-->'''Jerk:''' The [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Sideshow Bob]] Story.
!!''Film/TheRocketeer''
* Ryan Hipp claims he's been divorced from his fellow panelists a total of seven times.
* Doggans recalls discovering the Rocketeer read-along book and tape in a used book store and thinking [[HilariousInHindsight "Wow, Disney made a superhero movie?"]]
* Ryan's aside explaining to younger viewers [[WhatAreRecords what a tape is.]] "It's like Spotify, except it sucks. And now, back to the AARP podcast!"
* During a digression on ''Film/DickTracy'', Alessandra teases a story about how her family knows and hates Creator/WarrenBeatty but she [[NoodleIncident doesn't explain why and decides to save her story for later]].
* In the transition, Tony goes on a serious discussion of how Disney is laying off 28,000 cast members due to the pandemic while its executive salaries have been returned to pre-pandemic levels. He ends with [[MoodWhiplash "And now, back to my podcast about the jetpack movie!"]]
* Alessandra says she loved everything about the movie except the lead character.
* Tony says there's a fine line between Creator/TimothyDalton playing a [[LargeHam hammy actor]] and Dalton just being a "board-certified hammy actor."
* Tony says how Neville Sinclair would probably get "Me Too'd" nowadays before they all start mocking all the apologists and victim-blamers that defend celebrity predators.
-->'''Alessandra:''' Every wealthy person has a large collection of women's robes on-hand.
-->'''Tony:''' [=#IStandWithNaziBob=]
-->'''Dave:''' Look, you're going to cancel him and now he's just going to make $600,000 a month off of his podcast.
-->'''Ryan:''' Wait, I'm getting word in my ear that Neville Sinclair is now the new correspondant for Fox News.
* They all reluctantly admit that while it's a sexual assault scene, Jenny's scene with Neville is still pretty hot.
* Doggans repeatedly plugging his Patreon after being prompted by Ryan.
* The guy the Rocketeer saves from the plane is played by someone who would later play [[Series/LoisAndClark Jonathan Kent]]. Tony jokes that [[Film/ManOfSteel he would've told the Rocketeer not to save him because people are watching.]]
* Dave and Tony say it's nice to watch a movie from back when Alan Arkin gave a shit about acting.
* Tony imagines Music/EltonJohn saying "Fuck you!" during the scene where they reject "Rocket Man" as a potential nickname for the Rocketeer.
* Ryan jokes that if Tom Cruise were playing the Rocketeer, he'd try to get himself killed by a real jetpack.
* While discussing modern news' attempts to be neutral, Tony mocks the term "racially charged", as if there's a "racist battery" or something.
* They wonder where Nazis got animators for their propaganda movies. They imagine Creator/LeniRiefenstahl branching out into animation and creating Leni Riefenstahl-Toons.
-->'''Alessandra:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm leaving.]]
* They lament that animator Mark Dindal has fallen from Rocketeer to ''WesternAnimation/WonderPark''.
!!''Film/ReturnToOz''
* Tony says that, as a little kid, [[Film/TheWizardOfOz the flying monkeys]] weren't too scary for him but he was terrified of [[Series/SesameStreet Grover]].
* Tony's story about how, while building the Great Movie Ride, Michael Eisner refused to use ''Return to Oz'' for the climax and insisted on using the classic ''Wizard of Oz'' movie regardless of how much money they had to pay for licensing. EveryoneHasStandards indeed. [[note]]Eisner has a reputation for making artistic sacrifices for the sake of cost-cutting and cross-promotion.[[/note]]
* Right before the cutaway, Morgan says "Pray for us."
* When they come back, Tony's first reaction is "I need an adult."
-->'''Morgan:''' I'm not old enough for this movie.
-->'''Tony:''' I'm either not old or drunk or perverted enough for this movie.
* Morgan's "Is this what Gen Xers had to grow up with? Because this might explain a lot."
* Tony describes the movie as a lobotomized ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}''. He also calls it "the cinematic equivalent of being molested."
* Tony compares Walter Murch as TheTeamWannabe to film-school graduates who took over Hollywood in the 80's like Coppola, Lucas, Spielberg, and Zemeckis.
* Tony describes Tik Tok as the result of [[TabletopGame/{{Clue}} Colonel Mustard]] fucking [[Film/TheForceAwakens BB-8]].
* When Morgan was little, her father walked in on her during the "hall of Mombi's disembodied heads" scene and saw it completely without context.
* They flew over the Deadly Desert, which makes them [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings smarter than hobbits]].
* They make fun of [[SpecialEffectsFailure how bad the Scarecrow looks]]. Tony says it looks like a Chuck E. Cheese animatronic while Kevin says it looks like a shaved Muppet.
* Kevin, who is from Kansas, is baffled that Dorothy always wants to go back to "fucking boring" Kansas rather than stay in Oz and become royalty.
* Tony says the movie is the ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'' of its era: taking beloved childhood icons and [[DarkerAndEdgier darkening them]] while calling it a {{Deconstruction}}. Sydney warns him that he's going to piss off the Patrons who asked for it.
* Kevin suggests watching the movie while high. Tony says this would only make the movie more terrifying and make you swear off pot forever, turning the movie into a "scared straight" program.
!!''Film/WhileYouWereSleeping''
* Tony can only think of two movies released by Hollywood Pictures: ''Film/TheSixthSense'' and ''Film/SuperMarioBros''.
* Tony says lyricist Nick Hornby's greatest fear for the song [[https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/21173929/From+Above "From Above"]] was that nobody would remember the movie ''While You Were Sleeping.''
* The State of the Parks segment, where Tony mentions an interview Creator/MaxLandis did with WebVideo/JennyNicholson which you can watch "If you can stand looking at his stupid face." Landis' idea was that human souls couldn't travel at light speed so space travelers would often return as zombies. Nicholson points out how similar this is to ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl''.
* Tony wonders [[AngstWhatAngst why the family doesn't postpone Christmas festivities while one of their family members is in a coma.]]
* While discussing how many authentic shots of Chicago were in the film, Tim quips that you can see his car being towed in one of them.[[note]]Tim gave Tony a ride to MarsCon and, due to unfamiliarity with their parking laws, Tim got his car towed. Apparently "Snow Zones" are off-limits even if there's no snow. Kitty says this story is more interesting than the movie itself.[[/note]]
* Tim says Peter Gallagher, who plays the guy in the coma, looks almost like a caricature of a leading man. He's like every "before" boyfriend in a [[SugarWiki/AHallmarkPresentation Hallmark movie]].
* Kitty and Tony say Gallagher looks like an unsuccessful prototype of Creator/ChrisPine.
* Kitty says Creator/BillPullman seems more like a Han Solo parody in this movie than he did in ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'' due to the Han-and-Leia style chemistry between him and the lead.
* Kitty calls Tony racist against chairs and Tony has to issue an apology.[[note]]Tony is baffled at how the movie shows an ordinary chair as a piece of beautiful craftsmanship.[[/note]]
* They discuss the FriendsRentControl in the movie and how Peter's (Gallagher's character) apartment looks like a conference room in a corporate office. Luke points out that Peter is so narcissistic that he has more pictures of himself than his family.
* Tim says his wife has seen the movie and laughed hysterically when she found out he had to watch it.
* You can tell Peter's real fiancee is evil because [[BlondesAreEvil SHE'S BLONDE!!!]]
* Tony says how Saul Tuttle was so stereotypically Jewish that they probably wanted someone like Creator/MelBrooks to play him. While the actor is Jewish, Kitty says [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} "He doesn't look Druish!"]]
* Luke describes the character of Joe Junior as a stereotypical Italian asked to demonstrate what a stereotypical Italian would act like.
* Their disgust at Bullock dipping an Oreo in milk her cat just drank. Tony says it's her fetish while Kitty speculates this is where the cat flu from ''Film/EscapeFromTomorrow'' started.
!! ''WesternAnimation/MickeysOnceUponAChristmas''
* As he's only caught bits of this movie while visiting relatives with small children, Tony says he's never "intentionally" watched it. One of the guests envisions someone walking up to Tony on the street and shoving an [=iPhone=] with the movie into his face.
* While attending a Christmas Party at Magic Kingdom, Sydney remembers seeing a boy viewing a diorama where Scrooge [=McDuck=] being dragged into Hell by the Ghost of Christmas Future and asking his mom what was happening. The mother answered "She's helping him get out of the hole!"
* The movie is narrated by Creator/KelseyGrammer so Tony includes one of his sweet Christmas movie narrations interrupted by the sound of [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Sideshow Bob]] stepping on a rake and getting whacked in the face.
* Since Donald's nephews refer to Daisy as "Aunt Daisy", Tony wonders exactly what her relationship with Donald is. Are they married though they don't live together, divorced, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick or]] [[BrotherSisterIncest siblings in an incestuous relationship?]]
* Their discussion of [[CarnivoreConfusion ducks eating turkey.]]
* Dave remembers his father's post-Christmas tradition of building a huge bonfire with all the neighborhood Christmas trees. Some of the guests didn't remove the tinsel, which resulted in some interestingly colored fire.
* They speculate about the store "Lumberjack Lingerie" that appears in the background of a shot.
* Tony points out that David keeps coincidentally getting assigned movies that parody the boulder scene from ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'': WesternAnimation/ChickenLittle, ''Film/{{UHF}}'', and this movie.
* Tony's reaction to Max staying up all night in existential despair after finding out Santa doesn't exist. "Welcome to atheism, kid! It's no damn fun."
* Tony claims that Creator/TomHolland will appear on the podcast to read off the next randomizer selection, only to get interrupted by Carl Featherbottom, who says that if he doesn't read off the next selection, Christmas will be canceled!
!!Richie Rich's Christmas Wish
* Dave is angry that they did ''While You Were Sleeping'' without him.
* The return of the [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot twelve-year-old criminal alien Santa Claus]] Carl Featherbottom. Though he was twelve in his last appearance a year ago, he says he's now fifty-five because 2020 aged him so much.
* Carl claims he ran into Creator/TimAllen and made him watch all of ''Film/{{Geppetto}}'' on his phone. When Creator/DrewCarey started singing, Tim died.
* Randee calls Superstar Limo the ''WesternAnimation/TheBlackCauldron'' of the Disney Parks. It has no musicals and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick it's an abortion.]]
* Tony points out that two people doing voicework on the same project don't necessarily meet each other. UsefulNotes/BarackObama didn't meet UsefulNotes/CalvinCoolidge for the Hall of Presidents.
-->'''Dave:''' But they did in my fanfiction!
* Carl's lawyer is Rudy Giuliani, who he gave COVID.
* Carl put Tim Allen's corpse in Randee's closet as an early Christmas present. Randee is pissed because she asked for seat covers.
* Right before they break to watch the movie, Carl says [[Literature/AChristmasCarol "God help us, every one!"]]
* Tony calls the movie "dangerously [[TheNineties nineties]]" due to the SpecialEffectsFailure. Randee says the green screen was so bad it reminded her of the speeder bike chase in ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi.''
* They compare Reggie, the rich bratty villain, to Donald Trump. Then they learn that Reggie's mother is played by Trump's second wife. They speculate that Trump modeled his entire personality off Reggie and even has his own wishing machine.
* The gang wonders why the wishing machine only works on Christmas Eve and not on birthdays or any other time lots of people are wishing. Dave invents [[Film/ThePhantomMenace wishichlorians]].
* They speculate on what unethical eugenics resulted in a dog covered in dollar signs.
* They wonder how the Riches got their money and Randee speculates that Richie's dad is doing some "Pablo Escobar shit."
* Randee lived in a dumpster, died, got mistaken for a mannequin, and thrown in a lake. Then she was rescued by a mermaid and, though she hoped for an InterspeciesRomance, they had different goals.
* Tony is horrified that two adult women flirt with the underage Richie. Later, Randee points out an EasterEgg where one of the original Richie Rich comics appears...on Richie's boxers.
* Tony says that if Reggie is Donald Trump, Richie is Mitt Romney. He's ''better'' but he's not ''good''.
* The RunningGag where Carl talks about his past but his inconsistent age keeps randomly changing. Tony thinks he's the physical embodiment of the randomizer and yells at him for making him watch ''Film/Jack1996''. Dave expected him to look more like [[Film/SmartHouse Katey Sagal]].
* Carl proposes a sequel where Reggie is visited by three ghosts after being visited by the ghost of Cadbury in chains. Then he pats himself on the back for his [[Literature/AChristmasCarol completely original idea]].
* Randee claims that Creator/TommyWiseau is in her house and talking to her dog. He used the wishing machine to gain the ability to fly and Randee chases him out with a broom. [[note]]An allusion to something that happened in the movie. Reggie gained the ability to fly but wasn't smart enough to fly away when the heroes attacked him with brooms.[[/note]]
* Carl remembers a scene where a homeless people look at something and say it looks infected. "I probably gave it to him."
* Tony wishes that, when a homeless kid asks if he has something to eat, Richie had said "Just this dog."
* Tony realizes that all three Christmas movies he watched for the podcast make fun of the Salvation Army. This leads to several {{Take That}}s to the homophobic organization.
* We learn that Tommy Wiseau is from the same species as Carl. They can't survive northwestern climate, so he froze to death outside Randee's house and his corpse is in the same closet as [[BrickJoke Tim Allen's.]]
* Carl says he was in ''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet'' and Randee asks why he "[[NoodleIncident did that]] to Creator/NatalieWood."[[note]]Wood mysteriously died of drowning at the age of 43.[[/note]]
-->'''Carl:''' This just got [[MoodWhiplash real dark]].
-->'''Tony:''' She knew too much.

[[folder:Escape From Vault Disney 2021]]
!!''The Adventures of Huck Finn''
* The gang makes several puns off Morgan Funder's name, such as "Funderstruck".
* Chris Nebergall's impression of an audiobook narrator with a "newscaster voice" trying to do Southern accents.
* Tony says one plan for the unused CBJ theater was an animatronic show called "Mark Twain Tonight." Madeline says it sounds like a talk show.
* Madeline says that the movie being called "Huck Finn" instead of "Huckleberry Finn" makes the character sound TotallyRadical. The gang, of course, makes a bunch of [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Poochie]] references.
* Madeline hates the movie so much she considered pretending to watch the movie and letting Chris cover for her.
* The movie's introduction of Jim, which [[{{Flanderization}} turns him from a mildly superstitious slave to an outright soothsayer]], is so offensive that they feel the need to apologize to all [[HollywoodVoodoo practitioners of Voodoo]], black people, Romani, and Louisianans.
* Morgan says Creator/RonPerlman, who played Huck's father, was on "[[ChewingTheScenery an all-scenery diet]]. Even his corpse chews the scenery somehow."
* Their confusion of the clash between [[SoundtrackDissonance the bouyant soundtrack and the fact that Huck is smearing hog's blood on the walls.]]
* Tony mocks Tom Sawyer's [[ComplexityAddiction overly complicated plan]] to rescue Jim. [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} "My ridiculously circuitous plan is one quarter complete!"]]
* After being highly critical about the movie, Madeline says that Huck smoking a pipe is [[TheOneThingIDontHateAboutYou "rad as fuck"]].
* They mock the plot point where Huck dresses as a girl but is exposed because he has a good throwing arm. Madeline, a trans woman, jokes that she found out she was really a woman when she threw a ball at a muskrat and missed. Suddenly, she found herself in a dress, holding a pony and a [[WesternAnimation/InvaderZim GIR doll]], with glitter on her face, and knowing which ''Series/SexAndTheCity'' character she was.
-->'''Tony:''' Congratulations, here's your estrogen.
-->'''Madeline:''' If only it were that easy.
* Tony admits that Madeline has made him question liking the movie.
-->'''Chris:''' Maddie wins!
-->'''Madeline:''' One of us! One of us!
* Tony points out that this movie didn't make it into the "Celebrate Black Stories" tab on Disney Plus, which includes ''Film/{{Kazaam}}'' and both ''Film/SisterAct'' movies.
!!''Film/TheCatFromOuterSpace''
* One of Tony's patrons requested this for Patron Request Month, saying [[DamnedByFaintPraise "It's definitely a movie."]]
* Doggans remembers a ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' joke where TheEighties didn't make it to Canada until 1994 and says that describes Disney between Walt and Eisner perfectly.
* They mock a character described as an "off-beat physicist." As opposed to what? An on-beat physicist? A [[{{Beatnik}} beat]] physicist?
* Morgan, who picked this episode for Guest's Choice, declares "I apologize for nothing!" right before they watch the movie.
* With UsefulNotes/JoeBiden replacing UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump at the Hall of Presidents, Tony imagines outraged Trump supporters staging an insurrection at Country Bear Hall.
* Alessandra suggests that she and Dave reference this movie in their vow renewals.
* They mock the WallOfText opening credits and pity the small-time actors who didn't get a chance to see themselves on the big screen because their faces were covered by their own names.
* Both Colonels from Series/{{MASH}} appear in this movie. Dave imagines that this movie is the Hell that Colonel Blake ended up in after being shot down.
* They say the UFO looks like a sex toy.
* When the cat first used his time-freezing powers, Tony thought Disney Plus was buffering because they do nothing but literally [[SpecialEffectsFailure stop the movie]].
* They mock [[SpecialEffectsFailure a scene where a man flies but you can still see the wires.]] This came out the same year as ''Film/SupermanTheMovie''.
* They point out that the movie has a scene where an alien makes a bike fly but, unlike the iconic scene from ''Film/ETTheExtraterrestrial'', this was just a dull scene where the bike barely clears the gate. Tony points out this is the perfect microcosm of the difference in creativity between Disney and Creator/StevenSpielberg.
* Tony calls Morgan the world's only ''Cat From Outer Space'' stan. She has analyzed and dissected the movie like it's ''Star Wars''. Morgan again shouts "I apologize for nothing!"
* They have a lot of fun with the movie's many uses of the term "[[HaveAGayOldTime pussy]]", including the phrase "Playing with your pussycat."
* Dave mocks the cat for complaining about being isolated on a spaceship for [[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic five whole months]].
* The gang sincerely praises some impressive aerial stuntwork that couldn't be faked with the technology at the time and then note that these stunt performers are risking their lives for a movie called ''The Cat From Outer Space''. Imagine the obituary for a stuntman who died shooting ''The Cat From Outer Space''.
!!''Film/TheCountryBears''
* Tony starts the podcast with an advertisement for Godiva Goldmark collection of chocolates, playing it completely straight for several minutes before revealing that it's not an actual paid advertisement and he has no connection to the company. He just wanted to talk about it because the NamesTheSame.
* Tony introduces the podcast by saying it's been 10 years since his first Some Jerk With A Camera episode before remarking on how old they all are. David says he's just a stuffed head mounted on the wall, Morgan introduces herself with a [[OverlyLongGag loooong sigh of exasperation]], and Charlie showcases just a "little more enthusiasm" with a deadpan "Yay."
* Tony once said that he made Windows Movie Maker his "bitch" on the [[Website/ChannelAwesome That Guy With The Glasses]] forums.[[note]]Windows Movie Maker is often criticized for being a basic program with few features[[/note]]
* Morgan's sigh when Tony remembers [[WebVideo/TheBunnyPerspective Michael Bennett]] describing himself as the Creator/GordonRamsay of the TGWTG forums, complete with BrutalHonesty. Tony later calls Bennett ThePeteBest of their friend group since he moved away from Southern California.
* Tony points out how they reminisce about [[ScheduleSlip spending over a year making their early videos]] as if [[SelfDeprecation they don't still do that.]]
* Tony jokes that someday he'll review the Disneyland [[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic vaccination tents]]. "They don't fit theming at all!"
* Tony says that when he spends weeks watching a bad movie for a review, he develops a sort of StockholmSyndrome where he gains a newfound appreciation for it. This happened for Country Bears and the ABC episodes he reviewed but ''not'' ''Film/EscapeFromTomorrow."
-->'''Tony:''' I still hate that piece of shit!
* The movie's DVD extras are written as if the Country Bears are a real band and the movie is a biopic of their lives. However, Tony points out that while one of the "bears" is giving an interview, an empty costume will be shown in the background, giving the impression that one of their actors just died on set.
* Dave's bit of FridgeHorror that, by marketing themselves as a "bear" act in a universe where sentient bears coexist with humans, the Country Bears are basically a [[MinstrelShows minstrel act]]. Tony says that Barry's brother is a racist who probably grew up to join the January 6, 2021 riots at the US Capitol Building.
* Tony remembers being a fanboy of Music/WeirdAlYankovic much like Barry was to the Country Bears. He'd often interrupt conversations with random Weird Al trivia and relate every school project back to Weird Al to the point where teachers thought something was wrong with him.
* Dave says that Haley Joel Osment sounds more like Christopher Walken in this movie than Christopher Walken.
* They remember Doug Walker's joke about Walken's line "This isn't over (beat) BEARS!" at the end as if he'd just realized there were bears in the movie. Tony says he didn't mention it because he didn't want to [[SelfDeprecation overtly]] ride Walker's coattails. Until the ''Film/TheSorcerersApprentice'' review.
* Tony relates an anecdote about Music/EltonJohn's time on the movie. One of the bears malfunctions, causing its lower bear to droop down and to the side. John says "Looks like me when I've had too much blow."
* Tony's mother, a friend of [[Music/TheByrds Roger McGuinn]], reacts to Byrds music being used in the movie. "Well, at least Roger made some money off this."
* Morgan compares the filmakers to someone trying to save a sinking ship by turning it into a submarine and just heading for the bottom.
!!''Earth Live''
* They say the title sounds like either a flashy Broadway musical show or a horror movie about dirty zombies.
* They mock the fact that a 2017 movie uses "in full color" as a selling point by acting like old-fashioned filmmakers amazed at color technology.
* Tony describes the movie as a nature documentary filtered through Sports Center or Election Night coverage. Cassie calls it a belabored live stream. Zach says watching it felt like sitting in a dentist's waiting room.
* Luke says that, in nature documentaries, only about two percent of what they shoot is useful so the concept behind this movie was to have fifty-some cameras all over the world so that at any point, one of them must be shooting something interesting.
* Zach points out that every cinematographer gets a big, fancy introduction as if they're all going to get into a ring and fight to the death.
* Luke says their attempts to sensationalize a nature documentary sounds like a Monty Python sketch. They then cut to Tony, who's watching a dead stick bug. Next is Zach, who insists that they take more time talking about him, the cameraman. Then Cassie who has found literally nothing but did record some lemurs earlier.
* Cassie proposes a drinking game for every time the movie says they're showing you something "live". Even when there's a caption that says "previously recorded."
** Jane Lynch's reaction to them showing previously recorded footage of badgers fucking. "Oh, so we're ''choosing'' to show this."
* Tony says one of the experts studied badger shit for five years. Not badger stuff. ''Literal'' badger [[ToiletHumour shit]].
-->'''Scientist:''' I didn't have that many girlfriends.
-->'''Tony:''' You fucked a badger, didn't you.
* One guy recording the sharks says [[AccidentalInnuendo "I don't have any protection."]] Tony interprets that exactly how you'd expect him to. He then imagines that, after the long intro, they cut back and there's nothing there but a bloody torso in the water.
-->'''Luke:''' That's how the Python sketch would've ended.
* Luke says how a biologist taunting crocodiles with a rubber tube meant for measuring their jaw strength reminded him of a standup comedy routine about Jacques Cousteau taking on a giant squid.
* Luke's impression of Phil Keoghan eagerly hoping for an "animal snuff film."
* Cassie's spiel about how dangerous hippos are. "Hippos will ruin your entire fucking day." She ends with "Stigmatize hippos!" after a bit where she called for the destigmatization of sharks.
-->'''Luke:''' [[Comicbook/IncredibleHulk I'm getting hungry hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry hungry.]]
* They reimagine one of the hosts as a supervillain after he says "Tonight animals take over the earth. Just as it should be."
* They imagine how the inventor of a drone meant to collect humpback whale mucus specimens must feel to have his invention nicknamed "The Snot Bot." Zach points out he'll probably get turned into [[Film/SpiderManFarFromHome Mysterio]] someday.
* Several of the animals seem to give an AsideGlance, as if saying they're fed up with being followed around by all these annoying humans.
!!Bonus Minisode! March Will Be Muppet Month!
* Tony includes some outtakes from the ''Country Bears'' podcast in which everyone does their best impression of Christopher Walken's "Oh no! Country Bear Hall has been crushed!" He says Morgan's sounds more like Tommy Wiseau.
!!''Film/{{Clouds}}''
* Josh describes this episode as [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons "Middle Aged People Yell At Clouds."]]
* Their ThisIsGonnaSuck reaction when they realize the movie is based on a true story about a guy who has cancer.
* When the main character's song is described as [[InstantWebHit "viral"]], Josh jokes that it's not just viral, it's [[BlackComedy terminal]].
* Tony proposes a movie with a similar premise based on Logan Whitehurst. Someone proposes Creator/ScarlettJohansson. Another proposes Creator/JohnMulaney, regardless of what age Logan is in each scene. They'll just hang a sign on his neck saying what age he is.
* Tony, after worrying he's going to make some enemies with his opinion due to the movie's subject matter, says the movie sucks. Kyle is relieved Tony said so.
* WebVideo/MarzGurl calls it a secular version of a [[ChristianFiction Christian movie]].
* They make fun of the song "Clouds" itself for being milquetoast and mediocre. Tony compares it to [[https://paulandstorm.bandcamp.com/track/this-song "This Song" by Paul and Storm]] while Josh says it reminds him of the music that would play on the radio while he bagged groceries.
* Tony's first note on the entire movie. "It opens with a shot of clouds and the clouds form the word 'Clouds.' Strap the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] in, motherfuckers." Kyle wonders what they'd do if Zach's hit song was called "Beef."
* At the end, there's a photo with all Zach's friends and a cloud shaped like a Z in the background. Kaylyn says that Series/UltramanZ must've shown up while Tony jokes that God is Franchise/{{Zorro}}.
* Kaylyn makes fun of Josh's love for [[{{Meganekko}} women in glasses]] and apologizes for still being able to see.
* Kyle says he's triggered by the sight of [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump any red hat]] now.
* Tony is confused by the existence of ChristianRock when Christians already have GospelMusic, which is awesome and inextricably Christian. Kaylyn then discusses how churches are [[TotallyRadical trying to be hip]] by having their own rock bands.
* They mock a scene dedicated to one rather innocuous mean Youtube comment the song got.
* They mock the TotallyRadical parts of the movie that were clearly written by older people imagining what teenagers were like. Teens in TheNewTens listen to a Music/Sum41 song and one of them crushes on Creator/TomHanks from ''Film/{{Big}}''.
* The irony of the main character saying "I don't want to be a sob story" in a movie that's about 50% crying.
!!Series/{{Dinosaurs}} - [=S1E8=] I Never Ate For My Father
* Cody Clark appears on the show in-character as Gerald and the gang celebrates that they have "puppet representation" during Muppets Month.
* This exchange
-->'''Tony:''' What's the difference between Baby Sinclair and a traditional Muppet?
-->'''Emily:''' No fur.
-->'''Gerald:''' Visible legs
-->'''Morgan:''' [[TheScrappy A crippling lack of charm.]]
* Morgan's BrutalHonesty regarding the ''Dinosaurs''. Despite her childhood love of dinosaurs, she thought that these dinosaurs were ugly, mean, and stupid.
* Emily sings "Dinosaurs!" to the tune of "Hooray for Hollywood."
* Tony's response to Universal opening another Franchise/HarryPotter land in the "State of the Parks" segment. "You really want more [[Creator/JKRowling TERF]] on your turf?!"
* After watching the episode, the first thing Tony says is "That was some interesting fetish porn."
* They discuss how carnivore and herbivore are code on the show for straight and gay.
-->'''Emily:''' He's probably [[UsefulNotes/{{Bisexual}} omni]], I'm just saying.
* "BEG FOR MERCY, COLE SLAW!"[[note]]Emily's reference to a joke where Charlene opens the fridge and all the prey animals inside scream. She wishes she could do that to her food.[[/note]]
* Tony mentions "vore porn" and Emily tells Gerald to put his fingers in his ears. Morgan says someone must've had an awakening during that episode.
* Emily says she had a crush on the character Robbie and Gerald calls her a [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom scaly]].
-->'''Morgan:''' [[Theatre/AvenueQ Everyone's a little bit scaly!]]
* Tony's [[ItMakesSenseInContext "There are only two genders: basketball and meat!"]]
* Emily's idea for "What's the Attraction?", where she proposes a ride through the giant swamp dinosaur's digestive system.
-->'''Morgan:''' This better not awaken anything in me.
-->'''Emily:''' Oh, I hope it does.

!!The Muppet Show [=S3E15=] - Creator/LesleyAnnWarren
* Tony jokes about how [[WebVideo/{{Defunctland}} Kevin's]] overzealous fans tried to get him onto the Muppet Month shows by throwing bricks through his window and [[Film/TheGodfather leaving a bloody Kermit head in his bed]].
* Michael Hunter remembers a story of going to school right next to a Jim Henson studio. One time he saw them carrying the [[Series/SesameStreet Big Bird]] costume out of the studio in segments, as if they'd hunted him and brought him back for meat.
-->'''Michael:''' We feast tonight!
-->'''Tony:''' They're sending Caroll Spinney a message!
-->'''Kyle:''' That's who they brought out next!

!!Film/MuppetsMostWanted
* Katie complains about still being tethered to this dimension.
-->'''Tyler:''' [[Series/{{Wandavision}} Katie? Who's doing this to you?]]
* Tony describes the movie as the plot of ''WesternAnimation/Cars2'' [[TakeThat done right]].
* Tony's many {{Take That}}s to Creator/RickyGervais, who he [[BrokenPedestal used to admire]] but has since become "a sad parody of himself."
* Everyone says how much better the world would be if the movie had been a hit. Cured cancer, flying cars, no war, no poverty, no COVID, and Trump wouldn't have been President.
* Tony says Kermit the Frog caused the September 11 attacks, a reference to a 2002 ''Film/ItsAWonderfulLife'' Muppets parody where Kermit wishes he was never born and they use a stock New York City skyline with the World Trade Center intact.

!!The Muppet Show [=S4E18=] - Creator/ChristopherReeve
* The appearance of "Sam Eagle" as a MoralGuardian here to make sure the podcast remains free of profanity and nudity.
** The guys reveal that they're all naked and Tony's so naked he even took off some of his skin.
** Sam Eagle is an anti-masker. Tony points out that not wearing a mask is a form of nudity.
* Luke claims there are two versions of the podcast, the one that exists now and a [[Film/ZackSnydersJusticeLeague "Ryan Hipp Cut"]] that is eight hours long and will be released five years later but only if you harass enough people to get it.
-->'''Luke:''' Because if there's one thing content creators like, it's getting harassed to make new content. Right Tony?
-->'''Tony:''' Just makes my dick grow another inch every time it happens.
* The RunningGag where Sam adds and deducts points for the podcast.
** Tony apologizes to "Sam" for his vulgar language. Sam responds that the podcast is now at negative fifty points.
** They fall to negative sixty points but mentioning "Muppet Franchise/{{Rambo}}" gets them back up to positive ten.
* There's a scene where Miss Piggy's dressing room is wall-to-wall Superman memorabilia. Tony says how nice it was for Ryan to let them film in his bedroom.
* Sam and Tony debate whether Creator/WilliamShakespeare is [[InTheOriginalKlingon American]] or Canadian.
* They discuss whether Bunsen and Beaker being hinted at being a couple is workplace sexual harassment. They point out the power imbalance and Tony says maybe Beaker is into "[[UsefulNotes/{{BDSM}} Mee-mee-mee-mee-DSM.]]"

!!WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove
* Their discussion of ''The Sweatbox'', the documentary of the movie's TroubledProduction. Tony says the documentary was so embarrassing that Disney [[KeepCirculatingTheTapes buried it in the vault]] next to ''Film/SongOfTheSouth'' and "that documentary where they killed all those lemmings."
* While discussing the movie's TroubledProduction, Tony points out that Kuzco was originally called Manco until someone points out that manko is a Japanese term for genitalia. He speculates that this person was an anime fan.
* They mention the movie was almost an early role for a pre-fame Creator/OwenWilson.
-->'''Luke:''' Fortunately, he got another chance in the beloved ''WesternAnimation/{{Cars}}'' franchise that Tony loves so much.
* Their discussion of Mark Dindal, the director of the movie who worked his way up from drawing lots and lots of bubbles in ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid''.
* Regarding ''The Sweatbox'', Luke says [[Creator/PattonOswalt "I don't care where the stuff I love comes from! I just love the stuff I love!"]]
* Luke remembers a Reddit discussion where someone praises Yzma's character design and some "goober" mistakes it for sexual attraction. Tony says that Yzma [[IWasQuiteALooker was definitely attractive when she was younger.]]
* Luke remembers how while working on WebAnimation/MightyMagiswords, Kyle got so annoyed at the [[ExecutiveMeddling notes]] he received that he just improvised nonsense with lots of BuffySpeak, LampshadeHanging, and BitingTheHandHumor.
-->'''Luke as Kyle:''' "Let's do the thing with stuff!" That's the line? Yes, that's the line! We're moving on!
* Tony says the scene where Pacha explains the concept of empathy to Kuzco is so realistic, he's certain someone in the writing staff had an unrepentant narcissist in their family.
-->'''Tony:''' You just want to fucking scream at them eventually! I don't know how else to tell you that you should care about people other than yourself! You know how when you go outside you see all those lumps of flesh and clothing walking around? Those are called "other people" and they're not just robots programmed to make Film/TheMatrix more realistic! You're not fucking Neo!
* Tony says you can never trust someone who makes declarative positive statements about themselves. Luke then plugs his music at "The '''Great''' Luke Ski dot com".
* Tony says his ex-wife made him sit through ''Film/Dune1984'' three times and, even if you put a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you what that movie was about. He remembers nothing about it except that Music/{{Sting}} is almost naked in it.
* Lindsay Smith's bafflement at TheNineties' obsession with Theatre/{{Riverdance}}, which now seems as dated as WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'s inclusion of the Macarena.
* Tony points out that the screenplay for the movie technically wasn't finished until ''after'' the movie was in theaters. The animators went off storyboards instead of a proper script. A bunch of interns took disorganized script pages, wrote interstitials, and slapped screenwriter David Reynolds' name on it so that Disney archives could have it for record-keeping purposes.

!!WesternAnimation/SpiderMan1981 Episode 18 - The Capture of Captain America
* [[WebVideo/WhatWeHadToWatch Il Neige]] notes that the episode title before this is "The Canon of Doom". Not ''cannon'', but ''canon''. He imagines Spider-Man and Doctor Doom sitting around debating what's canon in Franchise/StarWars.
* Their parody Spider-Man theme song to the tune of "Hooray for Hollywood", complete with a PrecisionFStrike.
* They mock an [[ShowWithinAShow in-universe propaganda film starring Captain America]].
** The film is made by "Democracy Pictures", which Tony says sounds like something [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] would make fun of.
** They point out that the film basically forced Cap to reenact all the most traumatic moments of his life, including the moment he was frozen.
** They call the Red Skull Cap's greatest enemy, implying that Hitler was just some nobody.
* They point out that, in this timeline, Jameson was probably a child during World War II and he somehow grew up thinking that his Hitler mustache was perfectly fine.
* At one point, Jameson does the [[UsefulNotes/NancyPelosi Pelosi Clap]].
* Dave compares Red Skull playing with a Captain America action figure to [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Dark Helmet.]]
** Then he snaps off the toy's head and Tim wishes they would reveal a pile of heads on the floor. Tony says [[Film/TheCountryBears "OH NO! CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS BEEN CRUSHED!"]]
* The guys laugh at Spidey using the word "piker" and Tim, the oldest person on the show, says that even in 1981 that would've been considered TotallyRadical.
* Tony says Red Skull's "Skull Ship" looks like a big red dick. Garrett imagines that this is what [[Film/TheShapeOfWater the Asset's]] dick looks like.
* Jameson calls Spider-Man, among other things, a "sellout" as if he'd just signed with a major record label.
* They mock Spidey's plan to rescue Cap: Steal a Halloween costume of Captain America, pretend to be Cap, conveniently find a pilot who doesn't know Cap has been kidnapped, then fly around randomly until they find Red Skull's castle.
* Red Skull's plan is to [[GrandTheftMe switch his brain with Captain America]], allowing the Nazi to pretend to be a symbol of patriotism. Tony says this is basically what happened to the Republican Party.
* Red Skull's assistant wanted the brain-switching device to be used for good...somehow.
* While discussing Red Skull's well-intentioned scientist assistant, Garrett makes a joke about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombings.
-->'''Tony:''' Oh God.
-->'''Garrett:''' What, too soon?
* They discuss the bizarre standards that kids' shows were bound by. They couldn't show Cap and Spidey actually beating up other people but they could show them executing Red Skull by putting him in the brain-switching device without anyone in the other chair, basically dispersing his mind into the ether while leaving his corpse behind.
* Cap says he'll suggest Jameson declare "Spider-Man Day." Tony says Spider-Man doesn't need Comicbook/OneMoreDay.

!![[WesternAnimation/PixarShorts Pixar Popcorn and other shorts]] (Includes ''Legend of Mor'du, Party Central, Riley's First Date?, Auntie Edna, and Pixar Popcorn'')
* Haley announces herself with "Hello, proletariat!"
* Taking the show's title literally, Tony claims he's been locked in a vault for 48 episodes and his cohosts are just starvation-induced hallucinations.
* Tony's TakeThat to conservatives who declare all criticism to be "cancel culture". In the name of free speech, he imagines all criticism to be banned and his podcast being turned into a conservative Christian cooking show.
-->'''Tony:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Mr. Potato Head's penis will be avenged.]]
* After they're done watching, the short films are DamnedByFaintPraise.
-->'''Tony:''' That was certainly a bunch of stuff.
-->'''Kevin:''' I would also describe it as stuff.
* Tony says ''Legend of Mor'du'' is an origin story for the Country Bears and says the witch from ''WesternAnimation/{{Brave}}'' must have a fetish for turning people into bears because she's done it ''twice.''
* Tony expresses (sarcastic) amazement that Creator/JohnLasseter would create "Party Central", a short where the male frat boys kidnap women to go to their party.
* Charlie says that {{Hellgate}} in "Party Central" is the most metal thing Pixar has ever animated.
* Kevin imagines "Riley's First Date" was written by trapping every straight person at Pixar in a room and just having them say whatever pops into their head.
-->'''Kevin:''' It's just so ''straight.''
-->'''Tony:''' The straightest thing to happen in [[{{Gayborhood}} San Francisco]].
* The gang cringes at Riley's mom's [[TotallyRadical use of]] [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy slang]] so hard that Tony calls the character a "digital Karen."
* The hosts wonder if kids these days still form bands rather than just posting music to Soundcloud. Haley is confident that San Francisco hipster kids will try to form garage bands purely because they're not popular any more.
* Kevin imagines Pixar just has a computer file called "Ellen Degeneres' Wondrous Grunts."
-->'''Haley:''' [[AGoodNameForARockBand That's my Five Finger Death Punch cover band.]]
* Haley says "Soul of the City" is basically a screensaver. Tony compares it to ASMR.
* For the "What's the Attraction" segment, Charlie imagines a "Pixar Popcorn" popcorn stand with the X "ejaculating" popcorn.

!!Film/TheAppleDumplingGang Rides Again (with [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]!)
* Linkara starts by looking through the Disney Plus suggestions accompanying the movie and saying how much he'd rather watch them.
* The "State of the Parks" segment is just Tony gushing over the announcement of "Muppets Haunted Mansion."
* Josh says the movie is like ''Film/HaroldAndKumar'' without the whimsy. Tony says it's what a Creator/MelBrooks movie would be if it weren't about anything. Louis says the movie just made him want to watch ''Film/{{Tombstone}}''.
* [=MarzGurl=]'s exaggerated Texan accent.
* Josh says David Harper does a "Frankenstein kaiju impersonation."
* Josh says Don Knotts is dressed like "Willy Wonka as a pimp."
* "SERGEANT SLAUGHTER VERSUS THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG, THIS SUNDAY AT WRESTLEMANIA!"
* They wonder why Martha[[note]][[Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!]][[/note]] never seems to look at anyone while talking. Is she blind? Is she just rude? Is the actress reading cue cards and they just did a poor job of hiding it?

!!Film/GoFigure
* The description of the movie is so formulaic that the guests start making predictions of what will happen. Eventually Madeline declares they don't even need to watch the movie.
** After the movie, they realize that except for the presence of a {{Gasshole}} character, all their predictions came true.
* Madeline says the movie's theme music composer is named [[AwesomeMcCoolname Kenneth Burgomaster]].
* Tony mocks Chris for worrying about spoilers in a movie that's so formulaic.
* Madeline says watching the movie felt like watching a murder and doing nothing, making them all culpable.
-->'''Sydney:''' What could anyone have done?
-->'''Madeline:''' That's what I tell the police.
* Tony's reaction to the line "I guess some things never change. Fortunately, I did."
-->'''Tony:''' No one who's not an egotistical piece of shit says shit like that!
* The movie has so many subplots that Chris refers to the protagonist's brother building a robot as the "Z-plot" while Madeline won't even dignify it with a letter.
* Tony mocks the robot standing in front of a Zamboni like it's Tiananmen Square.
* They realize that this movie came out the ''same year'' as ''Film/IcePrincess'', another Disney movie about figure skating that involves a math nerd. They imagine Disney accidentally rented out the ice rink for twice as much time as they needed and Michael Eisner told them to just make another movie.
* "There's nothing better than hockey players fighting ''and'' children fighting!"
* Their genuine love of the protagonist's two figure-skating coaches, who are better parents than her actual parents. Sydney says they seem like a [[TheBeard woman]] who married her GayBestFriend to keep him safe.
* Madeline says the movie makes her want to vomit, drink her vomit, and vomit again.

!!Film/PrinceOfPersiaTheSandsOfTime
* [[{{Brownface}} "EVERYBODY WHITE!"]]
* Zach's "[[Creator/JakeGyllenhaal Gyllenhaal]] does sound like the name of a factory where they make white people."
* Zach worries he's being racist for constantly comparing this film to ''WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}}'' until there's a scene of the Prince reaching down to the Princess and saying "Do you trust me?"
* [[TheQueensLatin "You get a British accent!]] [[Series/TheOprahWinfreyShow You get a British accent!"]]
* "Man I'm so Zen right now. You wanna go fuck up some Crusaders?"[[note]]Zach's impression of a stoned Assassin, referencing the common myth that they would smoke pot before killing someone.[[/note]]
* Zach points out that Disney frequently uses the BaldOfEvil. "Pan over to a picture of Bob Chapek!"
* This exchange
-->'''Tony:''' Don't you just hate it when you wake up from a hangover and Alfred Molina on horseback is just there randomly spouting exposition at you?
-->'''Morgan:''' I'm like "Aw, is it Tuesday again?"
* "Alfred Molina has definitely fucked that ostrich."
* "Can I get 'What's the point if you're not going to fuck that ostrich?' on a T-shirt, please?"
* "[[Film/ZackSnydersJusticeLeague #ReleaseTheDaggerUpTheButtholeCut]]!"
* Zach's "We gotta do ''What's The Attraction''? I burned up all my creativity on a [[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast Dastan song]]."

!!Buffalo Dreams
* The whole group's [[ThisIsGonnaSuck reaction]] when Tony reads the movie's description, which involves a WhiteMaleLead going on a [[MagicalNativeAmerican Native American]] VisionQuest.
* Tony asks why they spend time on a TrainingMontage for a bicycle race when they could just [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Armstrong fill themselves with steroids and lose a testicle to cancer.]] "Easy-peasy!"
* Cody and Emily get distracted attempting to appraise the vintage bike the protagonist gets at the end.
-->'''Tony:''' I think we're burying the lede that a ''magic thrift store'' shows up in the last fifteen minutes!
* Janelle accidentally turned on the Spanish dub and went a long time before realizing it wasn't just part of the movie.
* Tony's reaction to the movie having so many scenes of Josh, the teenage protagonist, bathing. "Are we on a watchlist?"
* Janelle says that the budget for the movie was $5 million. Tony says it seems high and Emily speculates that $3 million went to licensing the song "Lean On Me."
* Janelle says she suddenly got really tired watching the movie.
-->'''Janelle:''' I was just sitting here and suddenly my whole body got tired. Is this what Disney Channel original movies do to you?
-->'''Tony:''' Oh yes! Every time.
-->'''Cody:''' They sap your life force.
* "I almost said 'This ain't it, chief' but then I stopped myself."

!!WesternAnimation/FantasticFour - [=S1E3=] - Now Comes the Sub-Mariner
* Tony hypes up Ian Bond and Devo Spice with elaborate introductions detailing their long bodies of work but says he only does that for newcomers. Afterwards, his intros will be nothing but names and locations.
* Tony calls Whitehall from ''Film/JungleCruise'' "Disney's eighteenth or nineteenth first gay character [[TradeSnark (TM)]]."
* This exchange
-->"Now we know what it would look like if Captain Planet made fetish porn!"
-->"Butts, butts, butts!"
* They bluntly call Namor a rapist. He uses pollution to justify declaring war on the surface world but is really just using that threat to force Sue to stay with him in Atlantis.
-->'''Tony:''' "Namor is if Brock Turner was an even better swimmer."
* They mock the title "Now [[AccidentalInnuendo Comes]] the Sub-Mariner" in light of Namor's {{Stripperiffic}} outfit.
* "I own this! ''Why do I '''own''' this?!"[[note]]One of the guests owns the episode on DVD and watched it there[[/note]]
* "Do not attempt to adjust your TV set. It's just a [[Creator/SabanEntertainment Saban]] show from TheNineties."[[note]]They mock the wavy effect they put over some of the underwater shots[[/note]]
* They mock the theme song for being "[[TotallyRadical left over from the 70's]]" and are baffled when they learn that the legendary Music/GiorgioMoroder made it.
* One of the guests says he'll see the Fantastic Four as Mount Rushmore in his nightmares.
* Namor calls Johnny a "fiery manchild."
-->"You just met him! How are you that accurate?"
* [[ARareSentence "I find eel-throwing so stimulating."]]
* "Namor and Reed are having a casual conversation while '''''holding a corpse! On a children's show!'''''"
* A guest says Reed sounds constipated while he's thinking, as if he's pushing out "a rock of a turd."
* The villain is dropped off in a prison. Which apparently has a swimming pool.
-->'''Tony:''' "Thanks, [[UsefulNotes/JoeBiden Biden]]!"
* One of the guests says he hopes the MCU doesn't put Namor in his traditional {{Stripperiffic}} costume. Another answers "Depends on who you ask" in an exaggerated "gay" voice.
* Tony calls the episode an animated ''Film/TheShapeOfWater''.
* Tony's "Finding Namor, Sub-mariner Voyage", where he kidnaps you and threatens to destroy Disneyland unless you sleep with him.
-->"Is he going to touch me in my no-no place?"
-->"He's going to touch you in ''all'' your no-no places as well as a few yes-yes places."

!!BONUS MINISODE! State of the Parks: Galactic Starcruiser costs HOW much?
* Tony points out that the upcoming Disney Star Wars hotel is so expensive that anyone traveling on the "Galactic Cruise Ship ''Halcyon''" would be the kinds of people [[Film/TheLastJedi Rose Tico would hate]].

!!D2: Film/TheMightyDucks
* Kit's first words on the podcast.
-->'''Kit:''' I have no idea what I'm doing here.
-->'''Others:''' One of us! One of us!
* Tony compares the movie to Film/TheBadNewsBears but for pee-wee hockey.
-->'''Luke:''' And a lot less problematic content
* Luke explains to Kit what hockey is.
-->'''Luke:''' See ice is what happens when water gets really cold and then they use a Zamboni to make it flat. And then you put knives on your feet, your ankle gets broken, and you never do it again.
-->'''Kit:''' So ducks with knives on ice. I'm for it.
* Tony says NBA Commissioner Adam Silver looks like a bad wax figure of Jeffrey Katzenberg.
* "There's a disturbing amount of bondage in this movie."
* The movie's history teacher describes America, a relatively young country, as a teenager. Luke says that nowadays, America is an entitled adult. Then he and Tony debate whether America was more like a troubled teen or a gifted, precocious teen.
* They realize a young Kenan Thompson is in the movie. "This was back when he was just [[Film/GoodBurger OK Burger]]."
* They mock the [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy obviously white writers trying to write a black character]], peppering in terms like "G" and adding sirens over a pretty nice area to make it into "the hood."
-->'''Luke:''' So which of those street hockey kids grew up to be [[Film/BlackPanther Killmonger]]?
* Tony relates a real-life story of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar doing the movie ''Film/{{Airplane}}'' for $30,000 just so he could buy a $30,000 rug.
-->'''Tony:''' And then Michael Jordan comes in and pisses on it.
-->'''Luke:''' This is the best ''Film/SpaceJam'' prequel ever!
* Brianna calls out the movie's hypocrisy for denouncing corporate sponsorships while having ads for Coca-Cola and Little Caesar's in the background.
* The coach chides the players for bringing violence into ''[[HockeyFight hockey]]''. He also reminds them that they're representing America.
-->'''Tony:''' Dude, being a violent psychopath ''is'' representing [[{{Eagleland}} America]].
* Luke wonders if there's a Mighty Ducks [[ParallelPornTitles porn parody]] because phrases like Flying V, Knuckle Puck, and We Will Quack You pretty much require it. Then Tony pauses the show and interjects that there is, in fact, a D2 porn parody called ''[=DP2=]: The Mighty Phucks''.
* Tony remembers the flume ride at the Mall of America. At the end of the tunnel there's a hole where all you can see outside is the sign for the mall's Hooters.

!! WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons [=S4E17=] -- [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS4E17LastExitToSpringfield Last Exit to Springfield]]
* Tony predicts in "What's the Attraction?" that Disney would plan a re-theme of Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage into a ''WesternAnimation/YellowSubmarine'' ride, as a tie-in with ''Music/TheBeatles: Get Back'', only to realize that they still don't own ''Yellow Submarine''. At the last minute, they'd instead decide to re-theme the ride after the parody Lisa dreams up while under the influence of laughing gas. Once the dream ends, Grandpa Simpson would deliver his RamblingOldManMonologue about wearing an onion on his belt, then direct guests to a shop where they could buy their own onions.

[[folder:Outtakes]]
* Season 1:
** Kill Bozby apparently created a ''Film/GhostDad 3'' that included a "wacky abortion" scene.
** Spazz on Star Tours: "Wouldn't it be great if for once nothing went wrong? [[BaitAndSwitchComparison And I'm not just bitching about my own life here.]]"
** Jerk almost kisses the bust of Abraham Lincoln and a poster of Captain Eo.
** Morgan suddenly letting out a bloodcurdling scream. Jerk is just shocked.
** Phil Buni saying Florida is America's limp, flaccid dick. He also says Florida sucks except for [[TheOneThingIDontHateAboutYou that Harry Potter park. And Sea World. Oh, and Disney World, of course!]]
** Jerk making an angry, screaming face for an attraction that pastes guests' faces into a video (Spaceship Earth).
** "Voldemort" harassing camera operator Zach Breman.
** Morgan's fake foreign accent. [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent Even she isn't sure what that accent is.]]
** Kill claims he was [[BlackComedyRape gangraped]] by the ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''.
** Spazz's swearing in the Small World review. Pissburgers! Figment!
** Morgan almost attacks Spazz for mentioning Figment but he reminds her they are on syndicated airwaves.
** Jerk's uncle Paul refuses to get pushed off screen on cue and keeps talking about Jerk's OldShame parody song.
** Paul goes over everything inaccurate with the ''Columbia''.
** Jerk on Disney princess piggy banks. "You put coins in their butts. [[NWordPrivileges I had no idea they were Jewish]]."
* Season 2
** Kill Bozby claims that the video was found clutched in a severed hand found in a garbage can.
** Jerk's montage of the many, ''many'' photobombers he has to deal with, complete with slow-motion and {{Scare Chord}}s.
** Jerk gets photobombed by a WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarepants walkaround character.
** Il Neige says he sees Creator/AnnaKendrick in a bikini. Turns out it's just some seaweed.
** Spazz snaps WesternAnimation/{{Dumbo}}'s neck as "Baby Mine" plays in the background.
** Kill says he would stuff his misbehaving kids inside the rectum of a dead elephant.
** Jerk and Il Neige's improvised blues song at the end where Jerk, among other things, claims to eat several live deer per day.
* Season 3:
** Hayley distracts Spazz by pretending to flash him.
** Spazz's deadpan "hang-on dance".
** Jerk tells Hayley that her Madame Leota needs to be "More wrath of God and less blaxploitation."
** Due to his chronic ScheduleSlip, Jerk had Horror Guru record several versions of the "It's [month]" line.
** Erika's shocked reaction to Nicholas Ganssle making fun of Leslie Burke's death in ''Literature/BridgeToTerabithia''.
** The pretend arguments during the JK Rowling sketch get so intense that someone pokes their head into the conference room to check on them.
** Spazzmaster's lines as Ronald Reagan:
--->"It is an honor to be inaugurated as the 40th President of these United States. Rock on!"
--->"Cheers. Admiration. Praise. Synonyms."
* Kill Bozby: The Complete saga
** Tony Wiseau, the alternate universe twin brother of Creator/TommyWiseau who ate his brother in the womb. In our universe, Tommy ate Tony in the womb.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other stuff]]

* His "feud" with Ryan Hipp of ''That Show.'' A video retrospective of the faux-feud concludes with them realizing that [[ShaggyDogStory the whole thing was pointless]], [[SelfDeprecation as neither of them are huge internet celebrities.]]
* Jerk's video "Take the #[=CatsChallenge=]", an over-the-top, angry parody of toxic ''Franchise/StarWars'' fans. In it, he calls on all "real" Star Wars fans to watch ''{{Film/Cats}}'' rather than ''Film/TheRiseOfSkywalker'', both of which come out on the same day.
** "''Film/TheLastJedi'' was literally the Holocaust!"
** "Kathleen Kennedy aborted me!"
** "My village was burned down by an army of [[Creator/RianJohnson Ruin Johnsons!]]"
** "Creator/LauraDern's hair worships the devil!"
** "Creator/JJAbrams directed ''Film/Super8''! ...[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and it was]] [[SoOkayItsAverage okay]]."

[[/folder]]

* Luke wonders if there's a Mighty Ducks [[ParallelPornTitles porn parody]] because phrases like Flying V, Knuckle Puck, and We Will Quack You pretty much require it. Then Tony pauses the show and interjects that there is, in fact, a D2 porn parody called ''DP2: The Mighty Phucks''.