History Funny / ShanghaiNoon

** And later when Chon ends up swinging the gear back and forth to hit a mook with the arms... [[FunnyBackgroundMoment Roy is seen being submerged neck-deep and pulled up again repeatedly]].

'''Roy:''' Have you ever heard of those? They're parents. You don't 'cause you're a little orphan.\\

\\

\\

-->'''Roy''': [[AcceptableTargets Texas]]? [''DopeSlap''] Are you insane?

** Whatever it is the Sioux are smoking, it at least helps Chon relax...

* Another great line from Van Cleef at the start of the climax:

* Roy spent half of his and Chon's money from the first film on writing a series of BlatantLies novels depicting himself as TheAce.

-->'''Roy:''' That's fair.

-->'''Roy''': "You said 'wet shirt don't break' not 'piss shirt bend bar'."

* Aside from killing Chon's uncle, Wallace is absolutely hilarious, especially his big, doofy grin and over-the-top Texas accent.

* Aside from killing Chon's uncle, Wallace is absolutely hilarious.

-->'''Roy:''' Hey, a pretty lady ...

-->'''Roy:''' Your wife? How long have you been in the country?

-->''Roy'': "You said 'wet shirt don't break' not 'piss shirt bend bar'."

* As Chon and Lo Fong fight inside the large bell, Lo Fong slams the clapper into the bell to try to incapacitate Chon, but the sound is so deafening, both men drop the fight and run out of the bell.

* Roy talking about his future children with Lin: [[TheBeatles Vera, Chuck and Dave]]

-->'''Roy:''' That's fair.

'''Roy:''' Why don't you do it your way and I'll do it my way?

-->'''Roy:''' Yeah, [[LostInTranslation John]], I've heard all about the emperor. Must be a hell of a guy.
-->'''Chon:''' He is only 12 years old.

[[AC:General]]

-->'''Jackie Chan''': ''He was part of your regiment of a dentist...*laughs* dentist?"
--
-->'''Jackie Chan''': Roy, she's my [[{{Malaproper}} babysitter.]]
-->'''Owen Wilson''': ''Baby sister''.
--
-->''(Jackie jumps on a tarp as part of one of the fight scenes, and falls right through it)''
-->'''Jackie Chan''': ''(offscreen)'' [[NonSequiturThud What happened?]]
--
-->''(Jackie falls through a hole in the set, and we hear a truly amazing crash)''
-->'''Jackie Chan''': You're supposed to ''catch'' me.
--
-->'''Jackie Chan:''' (''whispering'') "That which you have promised, you must perform?"
-->(''phone rings offscreen'')
-->'''Jackie Chan:''' (''whispering'') Hello?

[[AC:Shanghai Noon]]
* "We're men, we're not pinatas!"

-->'''Roy''': The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible!
-->'''Chon Wang''': I know. I'm not from Shanghai.
* Jeddediah to his wife on the Imperial Guardsmen: "They're not Indians, woman. They're Jews!"
* "Could be worse. At least it's not a white guy."

-->'''Roy:''' What's that supposed to mean? These aren't my...! These guns are really weird!
* And:
-->'''Van Cleef:''' Why don't you turn and face me like a man? \\

-->'''Van Cleef:''' Well, what do you know, it's a MexicanStandoff...only we ain't got no Mexicans.

-->'''Roy''': Yeah, [[LostInTranslation John]], I've heard all about the emperor. Must be a hell of a guy.
-->'''Chon''': He is only 12 years old.
-->'''Roy''': Are you kidding? You're sitting here with a noose around your neck ready to die for a kid whose balls haven't even dropped?!

-->'''Roy:''' Hey, a pretty lady...

-->'''Chon:''' (speaking very slow and loud) "Where...Is...Carson...City?"
-->'''Chief:''' (in Sioux to his companion) "Now he's saying it slower: like that's gonna help!"

[[AC:Shanghai Knights]]

--> '''Roy''': Chon, just go in there and do your business and [[DoubleEntendre think about]] [[BrotherSisterIncest your sister]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext in England]].

-->'''Chon''': I just saved you!
-->'''Lin''': You were late!

* Lin throws ''Jack the Ripper'' off of a bridge and yells something that is subtitled with [[SymbolSwearing symbols]] at him.

* Van Cleef's own PremortemOneLiner.
-->'''Van Cleef:''' How in the hell did that happen?

-->'''Roy''': Are you kidding? You're sitting here with a noose around your neck ready to die for a kid whose balls haven't even dropped?!

--> '''Roy''': The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible!
--> '''Chon Wang''': I know. I'm not from Shanghai.

--> '''Van Cleef:''' How in the hell did that happen?

-->Well, what do you know, it's a MexicanStandoff...only we ain't got no Mexicans.

* Watching Jackie Chan with that umbrella WHILE music from ''SinginInTheRain'' is playing in the background.

--> '''Roy''': Chon, just go in there and do your business and [[DoubleEntendre think about]] [[BrotherSisterIncest your sister]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext in England]]