History Funny / RedDwarf

21st Jun '16 6:02:23 PM GF93
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Lister''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It's eight foot across, man. You don't think that's giant?]]

to:

-->'''Lister''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It's eight foot across, man. You don't think that's giant?]]giant? What kind of pizza house have you been going to, the Fat-Bastard-o-ria?]]
16th Jun '16 10:10:18 AM Scorntex
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

* How the Dwarfers bribe the new Rimmer to come along with him: A console with as many as ''five'' whole buttons at his command. The Cat points out how Rimmer would have to be completely stupid to go along with the idea.
-->'''Rimmer:''' Five buttons, you say?



* Just after being "volunteered" Ackerman tells a reluctant Rimmer to man up.
-->'''Rimmer:''' Yes, sir! A man, sir! ''(to himself)'' A man?
-->''(Knot looms over Rimmer, and grabs [[GroinAttack his groin. There's a loud crunching noise]])''



-->"'''Cassandra''' All Canaries will be dead in one hour, [[HopeSpot except for Rimmer...]]"
-->"'''Rimmer:''' [[BigYes YES!!]]"
-->"'''Cassandra:''' ...Who will be dead in [[AvertedTrope 20 minutes.]]"
--> '''Rimmer:''' <cue epic OhCrap expression>

to:

-->"'''Cassandra''' -->'''Cassandra''' All Canaries will be dead in one hour, [[HopeSpot except for Rimmer...]]"
-->"'''Rimmer:'''
]]
-->'''Rimmer:'''
[[BigYes YES!!]]"
-->"'''Cassandra:''' ...
YES!!]]
-->'''Cassandra:''' ...
Who will be dead in [[AvertedTrope 20 minutes.]]"
--> '''Rimmer:'''
]]
-->'''Rimmer:'''
<cue epic OhCrap expression>



* The Cat's response to seeing a giant T-Rex in front of them.
-->'''Cat:''' There's an old Cat saying which I feel has particular relevance: "We are all gonna die."



--> [[BlatantLies "We're not drunk."]] "Okay. [[SchmuckBait Who fancies a kebab?"]] "Aw yeah!"

to:

--> -->'''Lister:''' [[BlatantLies "We're not drunk."]] "Okay. Drunk, sir? No. Not us.]]
-->'''Ackerman:''' Okay.
[[SchmuckBait Who fancies a kebab?"]] "Aw yeah!"kebab?]]
-->'''Lister & Rimmer:''' Aw yeah!
-->''(Rimmer promptly falls over on his face)''
** The fact that it only takes ''one sip'' of the moonshine to get them both too smashed to even stand.
13th Jun '16 3:30:18 PM DaibhidC
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* The flashback to Rimmer's time at Io Polytechnic, with the lecturer (his father) using him to demonstrate social pressure by having everyone else give the wrong answers to questions. And when one of the other students tries to give him a warning note, he thinks "You're a guinea pig" is an insult, and responds in kind. Made all the funnier by how ''smug'' Young Arnold looks about insulting the one person trying to stop him looking like an idiot.
13th Jun '16 3:16:18 PM DaibhidC
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* Lister's commentary on the Trojan Horse:

to:

* Lister's commentary on the Trojan Horse:Horse (based on reading a comic book of the ''Illiad''):




to:

* Kryten is asked how he's heard of the Inquisitor:
-->'''Kryten''': Only as a myth, a dark fable. A horror tale told across the flickering embers of a midnight fire, wherever hardened space-dogs gather to drink fermented vegetable products and compete in tales of blood-chilling terror!
-->'''Rimmer''': A simple "yes" would have sufficed.
13th Jun '16 3:09:00 PM DaibhidC
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** When Lister is lamenting why Rimmer of all people was brought back to keep him company:

to:

** * When Lister is lamenting why Rimmer of all people was brought back to keep him company:
6th Jun '16 7:46:13 AM Vanguard1505
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

* '''"[[LargeHam It's insane!]]"'''
1st Jun '16 2:15:41 PM GF93
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Kryten:''' [[RetGone We'll cease to be here, because none of this will have occurred]]. But we will exist back on ''Red Dwarf'' before all this began, with, of course, no memory of these events, which, of course, never happened. [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment And as these events never happened, we'll have no memory of them.]] In which case, Mr. Rimmer, sir, I should like to take this opportunity of saying that you are ''the'' most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ''ever'' ''BEEN MY MISFORTUNE'' '''''TO ENCOUNTER!!!''''' Ha!

to:

-->'''Kryten:''' [[RetGone We'll cease to be here, because none of this will have occurred]]. But we will exist back on ''Red Dwarf'' before all this began, with, of course, no memory of these events, which, of course, never happened. [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment And as these events never happened, we'll have no memory of them.]] In which case, Mr. Rimmer, sir, I should like to take this opportunity of saying that you are ''the'' most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ''ever'' ''BEEN MY MISFORTUNE'' '''''TO ENCOUNTER!!!''''' ENCOUNTER!''''' Ha!



* Lister's incredulous reaction to Ace giving Rimmer a nickname-

to:

* Lister's Rimmer's incredulous reaction to Ace giving Rimmer Lister a nickname-



'''Lister''': They're all just lining up in...in some kind of firing squad. (sounds from outside) Whoa, whoa, 'ang on, 'ang on, someone's being brought out! They're tying him to a stake. It's Franchise/WinnieThePooh!\\

to:

'''Lister''': They're all just lining up in...in some kind of firing squad. (sounds ''(sounds from outside) outside)'' Whoa, whoa, 'ang on, 'ang on, someone's being brought out! They're tying him to a stake. It's Franchise/WinnieThePooh!\\



'''Lister''': Winnie the Pooh, I swear. He's refusing the blindfold.\\
'''Cat''': They're tying Winnie the Pooh to the stake?\\

to:

'''Lister''': Winnie the Pooh, Winnie-the-Pooh, I swear. He's refusing the blindfold.\\
'''Cat''': They're tying Winnie the Pooh Winnie-the-Pooh to the stake?\\
31st May '16 7:43:58 PM GF93
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

* Lister's incredulous reaction to Ace giving Rimmer a nickname-
--> '''Rimmer:''' Ace and ''Skipper?'' [[ShoutOut You sound like]] [[Series/SkippyTheBushKangaroo a kids' TV Show about a boy and his Bush Kangaroo]].



'''Lister''': ''(slumps to the ground)'' That's something nobody should ''ever'' have to see.

to:

'''Lister''': ''(slumps to the ground)'' ground, evidently shell-shocked)'' That's something nobody should ''ever'' have to see.
15th Apr '16 5:45:58 PM Scorntex
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''RIMMER:''' [[TimeTravelTenseTrouble It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future.]] Simple as that. Your bucket's been kicked, baby.

to:

-->'''RIMMER:''' -->'''Rimmer:''' [[TimeTravelTenseTrouble It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future.]] Simple as that. Your bucket's been kicked, baby.




to:

* Legion forcing the gang to comply, on the grounds that any pain he suffers, they suffer, so...
-->'''Legion:''' The first hint of insurrection, and [this knife] goes ''[[GroinAttack here]]''.
-->'''Kryten:''' That kind of tough talk doesn't scare us!
-->'''Lister, Rimmer and The Cat:''' YES IT DOES!



* Lister attempts to explain exactly how they survived the end of the last season. The camera explodes from his[[TimeTravelTenseTrouble god-awful and confusing grammar]].

to:

* Lister attempts to explain exactly how they survived the end of the last season. The camera explodes from his[[TimeTravelTenseTrouble his [[TimeTravelTenseTrouble god-awful and confusing grammar]].




to:

** This episode had Brian Cox as a guest star, as the King of Camelot in Lister's simulation. His reaction to the name is quite confusion.



-->'''Kryten:''' Really, a keyring with a "c" on it. Thank you with a capital "r"!




to:

* Just after entering the crashed ship, Lister screams in horror... because a piece of ice managed to get down the back of his trouser legs.
23rd Feb '16 2:49:54 AM LorienTheYounger
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Lister''': Oh crap!\\
''(A Space-toilet pops out of the wall)''\\

to:

'''Lister''': Oh Oh, crap!\\
''(A Space-toilet space-toilet pops out of the wall)''\\



'''Toilet''': Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. See you later!

to:

'''Toilet''': Oh I'm sorry, I do apologise, I wasn't paying attention. See you later!



* "Hey monkey, you're sick! Sick and helpless! (beat) If you weren't my friend, I'd steal your shoes."

to:

* "Hey monkey, you're sick! Sick Sick, helpless and helpless! unconscious! (beat) If you weren't my friend, I'd steal your shoes."



-->'''Holly:''' No bugger'll drink it. Plus of course the advantage of dog's milk is when it goes off it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.

to:

-->'''Holly:''' [[ExactWords No bugger'll drink it. Plus it]]. Plus, of course course, the advantage of dog's milk is when it goes off it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.



'''Rimmer''': Already have.\\

to:

'''Rimmer''': Already have.have done.\\



-->'''Cat''': Why?

to:

-->'''Cat''': Why?Why?!



* "This is impossible. It's like trying to find a fart in a Jacuzzi."

to:

* "This is impossible.impossible, it could be anywhere. It's like trying to find a fart in a Jacuzzi."
This list shows the last 10 events of 312. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.RedDwarf