History Funny / RedDwarf

18th Jul '17 5:28:09 PM ClintEastwood
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--> '''[[JerkAss Rimmer]]''': ''Come on, you reds!!!''

to:

--> '''[[JerkAss '''[[{{Jerkass}} Rimmer]]''': ''Come on, you reds!!!''



* "[[PerverseSexualLust Do you think]] [[TheFlintstones Wilma's]] [[PerverseSexualLust sexy?]]"

to:

* "[[PerverseSexualLust Do you think]] [[TheFlintstones [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones Wilma's]] [[PerverseSexualLust sexy?]]"
17th Jul '17 6:03:11 PM ClintEastwood
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** This episode had Brian Cox as a guest star, as the King of Camelot in Lister's simulation. His reaction to the name is quiet confusion.

to:

** This episode had Brian Cox Creator/BrianCox as a guest star, as the King of Camelot in Lister's simulation. His reaction to the name is quiet confusion.
17th Jul '17 8:38:46 AM ClintEastwood
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* The discussion over what Albert Einstein is doing in the altered reality.

to:

* The discussion over what Albert Einstein UsefulNotes/AlbertEinstein is doing in the altered reality.



* The first part of the episode has Lister and Rimmer playing a board game. If Rimmer rolls a 2 and a 1 (Possibly a callback to Rimmer rolling that exact roll back during his risk stories in the early seasons), then Lister wins. Rimmer proceeds to roll a 2 and a 1 ''five times in a row.''

to:

* The first part of the episode has Lister and Rimmer playing a board game. If Rimmer rolls a 2 and a 1 (Possibly a callback to Rimmer rolling that exact roll back during his risk Risk stories in the early seasons), then Lister wins. Rimmer proceeds to roll a 2 and a 1 ''five times in a row.''



* Any and all moments from the outtakes, which include Chris Barrie doing random impersonations of Kenneth Williams, every kind of screw-up on the part of the cast, and Craig Charles taking abuse from everyone.

to:

* Any and all moments from the outtakes, which include Chris Barrie doing random impersonations of Kenneth Williams, Creator/KennethWilliams, every kind of screw-up on the part of the cast, and Craig Charles taking abuse from everyone.



** An epic flub in the episode 'Rimmerworld' - after Rimmer's shocked response of "600 years?!" it cuts to Danny, and, having forgotten his line, a giant smirk crosses his face.

to:

** An epic flub in the episode 'Rimmerworld' "Rimmerworld" - after Rimmer's shocked response of "600 years?!" it cuts to Danny, and, having forgotten his line, a giant smirk crosses his face.



* From the Polymorph smeg ups: "It's sleeping off a four course meal of fiv, ven... (laughter) *sigh* and dyslexia."

to:

* From the Polymorph "Polymorph" smeg ups: "It's sleeping off a four course meal of fiv, ven... (laughter) *sigh* and dyslexia."
18th Jun '17 5:06:26 PM Scorntex
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to:

* The Cat gets confused by the multiple Listers.
-->'''The Cat:''' ''(to both Listers, while holding a chicken leg)'' If you're him, and he's you, then who the hell am I?! And who's eating this chicken?!
13th Jun '17 7:13:52 AM Scorntex
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to:

* When a highly sloshed Rimmer starts telling Lister embarrassing things, Lister warns him that when he sobers up in the morning, he'll realise what he's done and be in total horror. Sure enough, when Rimmer comes to... he even does the exact gesture Lister said he'd do.



-->'''Lister:''' That was not painless.
-->'''The Cat:''' Yeah? Look what you did to [his collar]. This stuff never springs back!

to:

-->'''Lister:''' That was not painless.
unnecessary.
-->'''The Cat:''' Yeah? Look what you did to [his collar].my neckline. This stuff never springs back!



-->'''Lister:''' It's either gonna kill us, hump us or eat us. Now either we convince it we're ''not'' that kind of oceanic salvage ship or scarper pronto.

to:

-->'''Lister:''' It's either gonna kill us, hump us or eat us. Now either we convince it we're ''not'' that kind of oceanic salvage ship or scarper pronto.\\
'''The Cat:''' To be diddled by a giant squid on the first date? Think how we'd feel in the morning!
10th Jun '17 3:48:53 PM Scorntex
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* Holly is a little distressed by going faster than light.
-->'''Holly:''' We're going at the speed of light. That means by the time we've seen something we've already passed it. Even with an I.Q. of six thousand it's still [[BringMyBrownPants Brown Trousers Time]]. ''(reacts to something)'' Gordon Bennett, that was a close one!



-->'''Cat:''' ''<{{beat}}>'' OK. ''<pushes his bowl of cereal across in front of Lister>'' Turn this into a woman.

to:

-->'''Cat:''' ''<{{beat}}>'' ''({{beat}})'' OK. ''<pushes ''(pushes his bowl of cereal across in front of Lister>'' Lister)'' Turn this into a woman.
9th Jun '17 6:26:11 AM ClatoLawa
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* "[[RunningGag A moose!]]"

to:

* "[[RunningGag The entire moose RunningGag.
** Cat finds a book of random trivia that Lister was reading.
-->'''Lister''': Did you know, in the 1970s, in Sweden, twenty percent of all traffic accidents involved a moose?
-->'''Cat''':
A moose!]]"moose? Well, if they're stupid enough to let 'em drive, what the hell do they expect?
-->'''Lister''': No ... the moose aren't ''driving''...
-->'''Cat''': You just said they were.
-->'''Lister''': No, they're not driving, they're just causing the accidents.
-->'''Cat''': You mean they're in the back, fooling around, distracting the driver? That's insane! Why're they giving them a lift in the first place? Let 'em walk, they've got legs!
-->'''Lister''': No! The moose aren't in the car, with their antlers out the sun roof! They're on the roads, moosing around, crossing roads, and causing accidents.
-->'''Cat''': You mean they're not looking left and right?
-->'''Lister''': Exactly.
-->'''Cat''': Not using the pedestrian crossing? Not paying attention to whether it's the little red man or the little green man? Of course they're not, ''they're mooses''! Sheesh! These Swedes, they expect too much.
** Later, while preparing for an exam, Rimmer reads out a lateral thinking problem: "It's 1971. A Swedish man drives into a tree. What causes the accident? Nothing medical, nothing wrong with the car." Lister immediately starts playing up what a hard question that is: "I bet you gotta be pretty damn smart to get a question like that right." He then guesses a moose. Rimmer scoffs at it, only to be shocked when he looks at the answers. He then reads it to Kryten, who gets it right (despite not being involved in the first conversation), and then to Cat, who gets it right before he even finishes the question. "The moose is in the road, by the way, not in the car driving." Rimmer's reactions each time are priceless.
3rd Jun '17 6:37:57 AM Scorntex
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-->'''Lister:''' ''(mimicking Binks' communicator with an open cigarette box)'' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', we have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region, chin absent - presumed missing. Genetalia, small and inoffensive. Of not significance or value.\\
'''Binks:''' Binks to ''Enlightenment'', the human appears to be displaying a grasp of simple satire, with basic training could manage simple tasks.\\

to:

-->'''Lister:''' ''(mimicking Binks' communicator with an open cigarette box)'' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', we have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region, chin absent - presumed missing. Genetalia, small and inoffensive. Of not no significance or value.\\
'''Binks:''' Binks to ''Enlightenment'', the human appears to be displaying a grasp of simple satire, with basic training primitive humour. With careful tuition could perhaps manage simple tasks.\\



'''Lister:''' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', subject is ''blissfully'' unaware we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the back cupboard, and unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better scraper, pronto! ''(takes out a cigarette and eats it)''

to:

'''Lister:''' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', subject is ''blissfully'' unaware we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the back cupboard, munitions cabinet, and unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better scraper, pronto! be history in two seconds flat! ''(takes out a cigarette and eats it)''



'''Holly:''' Well, you've never been overly fond of them as a species, and the thought of one clambering over your clammy, naked, defenceless body has always filled you with a sort of cold dread.\\

to:

'''Holly:''' Well, you've never been overly fond of them as a species, and the thought of one clambering over your clammy, naked, defenceless helpless body has always filled you with a sort of cold dread.\\
1st Jun '17 2:19:24 PM Adeon
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-->'''Lister:''' The normal way. The ordinary, normal, boring way. Failed me exams, they snapped me right up.

to:

-->'''Lister:''' The normal way. The ordinary, normal, boring way. Failed me exams, exams and applied, they snapped me right up.
31st May '17 11:00:57 AM Scorntex
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-->'''Lister:''' ''(mimicking Binks' communicator with an open cigarette box)'' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', we have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region, chin absent - presumed missing. Genetalia, small and inoffensive. Of not significance or value.\\
'''Binks:''' Binks to ''Enlightenment'', the human appears to be displaying a grasp of simple satire, with basic training could manage simple tasks.\\
'''Lister:''' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', subject appears to be spoiling for a ''rumble''. Appears unable to grasp simple ''threats''. With careful ''pummelling'', could be eating next week's dinner through a straw.\\
'''Binks:''' Binks to ''Enlightenment'', subject appears to be labouring under the delusion he is capable of dealing injury to a hologram.\\
'''Lister:''' Lister to ''Red Dwarf'', subject is ''blissfully'' unaware we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the back cupboard, and unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better scraper, pronto! ''(takes out a cigarette and eats it)''



** Even better is the Cat's completely annoyed expression when he realises what Kryten's doing.



-->'''Kryten:''' Sir, if you join that ship you will be ''forced'' to have sex with beautiful, brilliant women, on demand. Now, am I the only one who finds that - finds that just a ''little bit tacky''?

to:

-->'''Kryten:''' Sir, if you join that ship you will be ''forced'' to have sex with beautiful, brilliant women, twice daily, on demand. Now, am I the only one who finds that - finds that just a ''little bit tacky''?






* Holly informs Lister there's a problem.
-->'''Holly:''' You're not big on tarantulas, are you, David?\\
'''Lister:''' ''(now alarmed)'' What?\\
'''Holly:''' Well, you've never been overly fond of them as a species, and the thought of one clambering over your clammy, naked, defenceless body has always filled you with a sort of cold dread.\\
'''Lister:''' ''(looking about in alarm)'' What are you trying to say, Hol?\\
'''Holly:''' I'm saying it might not be your night.



-->'''Kryten:''' Sir, that was the level of sophistication required to ensnare the Cat. And it ''worked''. Had we not been here, he would now be stumbling around on the asteroid trying to write "oh, boy was I suckered!" with his own intestinal tract.

to:

-->'''Kryten:''' Sir, that was the level of sophistication required to ensnare the Cat. And it ''worked''. Had we not been here, he would now be stumbling crawling around on the asteroid one of those asteroids trying to write "oh, boy was I suckered!" with his own intestinal tract.


Added DiffLines:

** Kryten trying to get Rimmer alone is ridiculous enough:
-->'''Rimmer:''' ''(backing away as Kryten advances towards him)'' Kryten, surely there must be another way...\\
'''Kryten:''' Sir, please come back here, you're delaying the inevitable.\\
'''Rimmer:''' I can't help it, I'm allergic to pain!\\
'''Kryten:''' You won't feel a thing, sir. I'm going to render you unconscious using the Ionian Nerve Grip.\\
''(Rimmer allows Kryten to approach, and closes his eyes. Kryten then smashed a vase over his head.)''\\
'''Rimmer:''' That's not an Ionian Nerve Grip, that's just smashing me over the head with a vase!\\
'''Kryten:''' That's because there's no such ''thing'' as an Ionian Nerve Grip, sir. Now, stay still while I hit you.


Added DiffLines:

* Faced with no options for fighting the Simulants, the Cat suggests attacking, because it's "the last thing they'd expect".
-->'''Rimmer:''' No, the last thing they'd expect is for us to turn into ice-skating moongooses and dance the bolero. And your plan makes as much sense.
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