History Funny / RedDwarf

6th Nov '17 12:46:25 PM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* The boys go find another 3000 Mechanoid who hasn't evolved like Kryten to try and help Kryten come to terms with his crisis. They find Butler upon the Nova 3. Not only is he as evolved as Kryten, he's also a RenaissanceMan who's a painter, musician, novelist and expert chef. Also, the godfather of an alien warlord's daughter.

to:

* The boys go find another 3000 4000 Mechanoid who hasn't evolved like Kryten to try and help Kryten come to terms with his crisis. They find Butler upon the Nova 3. Not only is he as evolved as Kryten, he's also a RenaissanceMan who's a painter, musician, novelist and expert chef. Also, the godfather of an alien warlord's daughter.
6th Nov '17 12:40:41 PM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

* Able's process of recalling anything (including his own name) involves such intense concentration that he looks constipated.
6th Nov '17 12:35:37 PM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* Hitler tries to bond with Lister by inviting him to jam with him. Understandable, Lister is very reluctant to do so. Hitler is well aware of this and asks "Is it because I'm Hitler?"

to:

* Hitler tries to bond with Lister by inviting him to jam with him. Understandable, Lister is very reluctant to do so. Hitler is well aware of this and asks "Is it because I'm Hitler?"
Hitler?". And then they do jam together.




to:

* And to follow up, right after the election, Rimmer is locked into the garbage hold with [[spoiler: Talkie Toaster]] for several days.
4th Nov '17 12:52:25 PM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

** Rimmer starts quoting a Space Corps Directive and as soon as he rattles off the regulation number, adds an immediate "Shut up, Kryten!"
4th Nov '17 12:27:30 PM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

** And following up to that, Lister reveals how long he was there: 97 minutes.
4th Nov '17 10:53:58 AM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

[[AC: Mechocracy]]
* During the election campaign for President of the machines aboard ''Red Dwarf'', the polls indicate that Kryten and Rimmer are neck and neck. Lister and Kryten end up having to go to the one machine who can break the deadlock, [[spoiler: Talkie Toaster]].
27th Oct '17 7:12:07 PM DuskBlaze
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

[[AC: Timewave]]
* The boys are informed that a nearby ship has outlawed criticism. In the spirit of politeness, they attempt to follow this law. [[ForegoneConclusion You know how this goes.]] It takes Rimmer under a minute to start criticizing, and the rest of the boys quickly follow.
** This leads to them in a Criticism Removal Machine. The idea is that they just remove your critic, and all you have left is happiness. The first person they try this on is [[HisOwnWorstEnemy Rimmer]]. As it turns out, Rimmer is physically incapable of criticizing himself - and his furious rant breaks the machine within a matter of ''seconds.''
14th Oct '17 2:15:54 PM NB2000
Is there an issue? Send a Message


[[folder:Series X]]

to:

[[folder:Series X]]
XII]]
13th Oct '17 11:46:48 AM CynicalBastardo
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

[[folder:Series X]]

[[AC: Cured]]
* Hitler tries to bond with Lister by inviting him to jam with him. Understandable, Lister is very reluctant to do so. Hitler is well aware of this and asks "Is it because I'm Hitler?"

[[/folder]]
11th Oct '17 8:58:14 AM mlsmithca
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** "''Seven '''HOURS!'''''"

to:

** "''Seven -->"''Seven '''HOURS!'''''"



* Lister and Rimmer trying to get out of two weeks spud duty with a virus designed to take the skins off. It works... and then starts on Rimmer's clothing, followed by his hair. Then it goes for Lister. Cut to a butt-naked and completely hairless Lister and Rimmer being marched to the captain's office.
** At the end of the subsequent scene, where Captain Hollister threatens to throw them in The Hole the next time they screw up, Rimmer inexplicably [[TooDumbToLive shakes Hollister's hand on his way out]].

to:

* Lister and Rimmer trying to get out of two weeks spud duty with a virus designed to take the skins off. It works... and then starts on Rimmer's clothing, followed by his hair. Then it goes for Lister. Cut to a butt-naked and completely hairless Lister and Rimmer being marched to the captain's office.
**
office. At the end of the subsequent scene, where Captain Hollister threatens to throw them in The Hole the next time they screw up, Rimmer inexplicably [[TooDumbToLive shakes Hollister's hand on his way out]].



** "A ''tidal wave! Fifteen feet high!'' I will be in ''therapy'' for the rest of my life!"

to:

** "A -->"A ''tidal wave! Fifteen feet high!'' I will be in ''therapy'' for the rest of my life!"



-->'''Lister''': Did you know, in the 1970s, in Sweden, twenty percent of all traffic accidents involved a moose?
-->'''Cat''': A moose? Well, if they're stupid enough to let 'em drive, what the hell do they expect?
-->'''Lister''': No ... the moose aren't ''driving''...
-->'''Cat''': You just said they were.
-->'''Lister''': No, they're not driving, they're just causing the accidents.
-->'''Cat''': You mean they're in the back, fooling around, distracting the driver? That's insane! Why're they giving them a lift in the first place? Let 'em walk, they've got legs!
-->'''Lister''': No! The moose aren't in the car, with their antlers out the sun roof! They're on the roads, moosing around, crossing roads, and causing accidents.
-->'''Cat''': You mean they're not looking left and right?
-->'''Lister''': Exactly.
-->'''Cat''': Not using the pedestrian crossing? Not paying attention to whether it's the little red man or the little green man? Of course they're not, ''they're mooses''! Sheesh! These Swedes, they expect too much.

to:

-->'''Lister''': --->'''Lister''': Did you know, in the 1970s, in Sweden, twenty percent of all traffic accidents involved a moose?
-->'''Cat''':
moose?\\
'''Cat''':
A moose? Well, if they're stupid enough to let 'em drive, what the hell do they expect?
-->'''Lister''':
expect?\\
'''Lister''':
No ... the moose aren't ''driving''...
-->'''Cat''':
''driving''...\\
'''Cat''':
You just said they were.
-->'''Lister''':
were.\\
'''Lister''':
No, they're not driving, they're just causing the accidents.
-->'''Cat''':
accidents.\\
'''Cat''':
You mean they're in the back, fooling around, distracting the driver? That's insane! Why're they giving them a lift in the first place? Let 'em walk, they've got legs!
-->'''Lister''':
legs!\\
'''Lister''':
No! The moose aren't in the car, with their antlers out the sun roof! They're on the roads, moosing around, crossing roads, and causing accidents.
-->'''Cat''':
accidents.\\
'''Cat''':
You mean they're not looking left and right?
-->'''Lister''': Exactly.
-->'''Cat''':
right?\\
'''Lister''': Exactly.\\
'''Cat''':
Not using the pedestrian crossing? Not paying attention to whether it's the little red man or the little green man? Of course they're not, ''they're mooses''! Sheesh! These Swedes, they expect too much.



* Kryten's tirade upon being left on hold.
** Lister's own tantrum when he faces a dilemma between answering the customer service complaint call or not getting shot to death: ''"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE STIR-MASTER ANYMORE, KRYTEN!"''
* All of the resentment attacks

to:

* Kryten's tirade upon being left on hold.
**
hold, and Lister's own tantrum when he faces a dilemma between answering the customer service complaint call or not getting shot to death: ''"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE STIR-MASTER ANYMORE, KRYTEN!"''
* All of the resentment attacksattacks.



--> '''Lister:''' *Points at Cat* He only has three.

to:

--> '''Lister:''' *Points ''[Points at Cat* Cat]'' He only has three.






** Relating to this, Lister's amusing Father's Day ritual in which he writes himself a card a year in advance, gets completely blotto so he can't remember what he wrote in it, then gets Kryten to take it and deliver it back to him a year later.

to:

** Relating to this, * Lister's amusing Father's Day ritual in which he writes himself a card a year in advance, gets completely blotto so he can't remember what he wrote in it, then gets Kryten to take it and deliver it back to him a year later.



* The vending machine who has always dreamed of seeing [[spoiler: around the corner.]]
** And Rimmer's reaction to seeing [[NotWhatItLooksLike Lister on top of the vending machine trying to lift it from the ground]].

to:

* The vending machine who has always dreamed of seeing [[spoiler: around the corner.]]
**
]] And Rimmer's reaction to seeing [[NotWhatItLooksLike Lister on top of the vending machine trying to lift it from the ground]].



* The first part of the episode has Lister and Rimmer playing a board game. If Rimmer rolls a 2 and a 1 (Possibly a callback to Rimmer rolling that exact roll back during his Risk stories in the early seasons), then Lister wins. Rimmer proceeds to roll a 2 and a 1 ''five times in a row.''
** The board game is also part of a bet. If Rimmer wins, Lister has to wear a nightdress until he's able to play a piece of classical music off by heart. If Lister wins, Rimmer isn't allowed to complain or criticize Rimmer for a full week. [[spoiler: Lister wins.]]

to:

* The first part of the episode has Lister and Rimmer playing a board game. If Rimmer rolls a 2 and a 1 (Possibly (possibly a callback to Rimmer rolling that exact roll back during his Risk stories in the early seasons), then Lister wins. Rimmer proceeds to roll a 2 and a 1 ''five times in a row.''
** The board game is also part of a bet. If Rimmer wins, Lister has to wear a nightdress until he's able to play a piece of classical music off by heart. If Lister wins, Rimmer isn't allowed to complain or criticize Rimmer Lister for a full week. [[spoiler: Lister wins.]]



-->'''Rimmer:''' They used to call me "the Mine-otaur".\\

to:

-->'''Rimmer:''' --->'''Rimmer:''' They used to call me "the Mine-otaur".\\



** "You can lead a hearse to water, but you can't make it sink!"

to:

** "You -->"You can lead a hearse to water, but you can't make it sink!"



* Kryten forgetting who Rimmer is, due to having deleted all knowledge of him in order to free up hard-drive space.

to:

* Kryten forgetting who Rimmer is, due to having deleted all knowledge of him in order to free up hard-drive space. It gets even better when, before undeleting the information, he lets slip that all of the information pertaining to Rimmer was stored in the ''Captain Bollocks'' folder.



'''Kryten:''' ''*turns to look over at Rimmer*'' ...and ''you'' are?
** It gets even better when, before undeleting the information, he lets slip that all of the information pertaining to Rimmer was stored in the ''Captain Bollocks'' folder.

to:

'''Kryten:''' ''*turns ''[turns to look over at Rimmer*'' ...Rimmer]'' ...and ''you'' are?
** It gets even better when, before undeleting the information, he lets slip that all of the information pertaining to Rimmer was stored in the ''Captain Bollocks'' folder.



'''Craig Charles:''' ''*in a high-pitched voice*'' Nehnehneh, don't bugger about!

to:

'''Craig Charles:''' ''*in ''[in a high-pitched voice*'' voice]'' Nehnehneh, don't bugger about!



--> '''Robert''': (in Kryten's voice) "Anything else coming Mr. Cat?"

to:

--> '''Robert''': (in ''(in Kryten's voice) voice)'' "Anything else coming Mr. Cat?"



* From the "Polymorph" smeg ups: "It's sleeping off a four course meal of fiv, ven... (laughter) *sigh* and dyslexia."

to:

* From the "Polymorph" smeg ups: "It's sleeping off a four course meal of fiv, ven... (laughter) *sigh* ''[sigh]'' and dyslexia."



--> '''Craig:''' Yeah, but I could cut me *''bleep''*ing knob off, you know what I mean?! "It doesn't matter, we can't tell." Well, when you smell the burning flesh you might, y'know!

to:

--> '''Craig:''' Yeah, but I could cut me *''bleep''*ing ''[bleep]''ing knob off, you know what I mean?! "It doesn't matter, we can't tell." Well, when you smell the burning flesh you might, y'know!



--> '''Chris:''' Well, Sartre, we don't like existentialists around here. And we certainly don't like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo-neck sweaters filling everyone's heads with their theories about the bleakness of absurdity and the exenshista— f*''bleep''*k there's an aircraft overhead as well Sartre. (''actor playing Sartre nods'')

to:

--> '''Chris:''' Well, Sartre, we don't like existentialists around here. And we certainly don't like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo-neck sweaters filling everyone's heads with their theories about the bleakness of absurdity and the exenshista— f*''bleep''*k f''[bleep]''k there's an aircraft overhead as well Sartre. (''actor playing Sartre nods'')



* "It's [[InexplicablyIdenticalIndividuals Tony Hawwwks!"]] (Also adopted by fan podcasts)

to:

* "It's [[InexplicablyIdenticalIndividuals Tony Hawwwks!"]] (Also adopted by fan podcasts)podcasts.)



** The brilliant conversation during ''Psirens'' about Doug justifying filming asteroid scenes in a quarry off the M25 rather than somewhere more exotic:
-->'''Danny (impersonating Doug)''': ''Yeah, it's funny because the word "quarry"'s funny.''\\
'''Bobby (impersonating Doug)''': ''Yeah, what's funny about filming in Morocco? No!''\\
'''Chris (impersonating Doug)''': ''Although we don't ''say'' the word "quarry", it's still funny, yeah.''
** During ''Quarantine'', the whole conversation about Rob, Doug and Rocket:
--> '''Danny (as Rob)''' ''We-we've got a scene 'ere -- i-i-i-i-i-i' IS a scene, isn't it, Doug?''
--> '''Danny (as Doug)''' ''Yeah, I think so, it is a scene, yeah.''
--> '''Danny (as Rob)''' ''Right, Rocket, now -- is that -- what's that? A camera, isn't it?''

to:

** The brilliant conversation during ''Psirens'' "Psirens" about Doug justifying filming asteroid scenes in a quarry off the M25 rather than somewhere more exotic:
-->'''Danny --->'''Danny (impersonating Doug)''': ''Yeah, Yeah, it's funny because the word "quarry"'s funny.''\\
\\
'''Bobby (impersonating Doug)''': ''Yeah, Yeah, what's funny about filming in Morocco? No!''\\
No!\\
'''Chris (impersonating Doug)''': ''Although Although we don't ''say'' the word "quarry", it's still funny, yeah.''
yeah.
** During ''Quarantine'', "Quarantine", the whole conversation about Rob, Doug and Rocket:
--> ---> '''Danny (as Rob)''' ''We-we've We-we've got a scene 'ere -- i-i-i-i-i-i' IS a scene, isn't it, Doug?''
-->
Doug?
--->
'''Danny (as Doug)''' ''Yeah, Yeah, I think so, it is a scene, yeah.''
-->
yeah.
--->
'''Danny (as Rob)''' ''Right, Right, Rocket, now -- is that -- what's that? A camera, isn't it?''it?
This list shows the last 10 events of 424. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.RedDwarf