History Funny / QI

---> '''Stephen Fry:''' How does the 'love bomb' work?\\

--> and Stephen's speech about his Hungarian uncle pronouncing Pythagoras "Peter Gorus" ("You learn the Peter Gorus!"), and then going on to explain how he pronounced "pineapple upside-down cake".

-->'''Dara O'Brien''': So, Rodney Bewes is the {{Highlander}}?

* The "Gardens" episode features a discussion of bees and feeding them honey to help them get better, which is followed up by Alan accusing Dara O'Briain of being a murderer after he says his normal reaction is to just kill them, which is then itself followed by a discussion about feeding bees more honey than they make in a lifetime, which ends with them talking about killing bees ironically by ''drowning'' them in honey.
--> '''Dara O'Briain:''' This is more honey than this bee has ever before seen in its ''life''!!

---> '''Dara Ó Briain''' : Left and right for me was always, erm--just maybe because I learnt them at the same time was the hand that played the "dun dun dun dun" on the piano-- and this was the melody hand.
---> '''Alan Davies''': * aside to Jo* Look at him with his tough working class background.

* In "H-Anatomy", Alan Davies tying a wire around the arm of the skeletons behind Fry, and proceeding to wait until all eye's are on Stephen to slowly inch the arm towards him...

--->'''Stephen''': ...yes! Alan Davies have some points!

** In the same episode: In response to the two brains double bluff, David Mitchell's howls of "IT'S SO CRUEL!" and accusing Stephen of being a bully.

* From the XL version of "Hoaxes", Sean Lock and David Mitchell's discussion on whether or not NASA were responsible for the death of Michael Jackson.

---> '''Rich''': "The song is 'Blue moon, I saw you standing ''alone''', not 'with a little friend!'"

* Stephen is explaining how a woman slipped and fell on to a knife sticking out of her dishwasher. Alan is a bit perplexed, and Stephen claims he's cut himself doing this because loading the knife with the point of the blade up 'gets a better clean', to which Phil utters the immortal retort:

---> '''Phil Jupitus''': Fry! Cambridge!

** Phil Jupitus had a similar one.

---> '''Phil Jupitus:''' The Rank Organisation.

* After a non-sequitur from Rich Hall about playing a stand-up in Japan, Phil Jupitus mused about Stephen Fry visiting the nation.
--> '''Phil''' (As Japanese): "[[{{GratuitousEnglish}} AAAH! Stephen FerrrrAayuuu!]]"
--> '''Phil''' (As Fry): "[[{{Blackadder}} Baaaaaaah!]]"
--> '''Phil''' (As Japan being tread on): "Stomp stomp stomp!"

* Phil Jupitus imitating Stephen Fry, who is six foot plus, in Japan a la ""Godzilla"".

-->'''Stephen:''' OH. Oddly enough you're surprisingly in a kind of way.

* Ross Noble in the G series.

--> '''Johnny:''' It was for, er, putting in mattresses, for monks, as, er, an anti-masturbation sound trigger device…

* In the "Fire and Freezing" episode, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TrSbRIu2Zc&feature=related#t=01m45s Rob takes it upon himself to teach the others about the dangers of smoke.]]

* I can't remember the exact episode or context (if anyone knows, please edit this), but there's one episode where Alan Davies mentions an interesting fact, only for Stephen to reply:
-->'''Stephen''': I remember seeing that on a program called {{QI}}.
** It was in reference to how vacuum cleaners used to be massive horse-drawn things for cleaning streets. Alan's face after that reply is the saddest thing ever.

--> '''Johnny:''' It was for, er, putting in mattresses, for monks, as, er, an anti-masturbation sound trigger device…

---> '''Jo Brand''': Can I just say something that's very strange? Because there's some German chewing gum called Spunk, and, um, you do have to be careful you don't swallow it — but in fact, I actually talked about that chewing gum on Clive James's show with you [''pointing at Stephen''] and Princess Diana! Do you remember? Seriously!

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--> '''Johnny:''' It was for, er, putting in mattresses, for monks, as, er, an anti-masturbation sound trigger device…
--> '''Stephen:''' Johnny Vegas! [[DramaticPause ...]]take some points!

---> '''Jo Brand''': Can I just say something that's very strange? Because there's some German chewing gum called Spunk, and, um, you do have to be careful you don't swallow it — but in fact, I actually talked about that chewing gum on Clive James's show with you [''pointing at Stephen''] and Princess Diana! Do you remember? Seriously!

* In the "Fire and Freezing" episode, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TrSbRIu2Zc&feature=related# t=01m45s Rob takes it upon himself to teach the others about the dangers of smoke.]]

* I've forgotten the series and episode, but somehow, the discussion once turned to Daleks. One contestant mentioned that Daleks can't invade anywhere because they have no legs, but someone else then said that since we have disabled access ''everywhere'', the Daleks can get around. David Mitchell then looked at him and said,
-->''Are you saying that you believe that disabled access is a Dalek conspiracy?!''

'''Alan:''' ''[shrugs]'' They're probably got other things to spend their money on.

--> --> '''StephenFry''': Alan, what are you doing?