History Funny / QI

* In "North Norse", Rhod Gilbert insists that Denmark only has three days of sunlight in the winter, no matter how much Sandi and Alan yell at him.
--> '''Rhod:''' How do you cope with having one and a half hours of daylight?\\

* For "Tools and Tips", behind Sandi, there are safety signs that say "Caution: Elves at work", "BEWARE: GENERAL IGNORANCE", and "It has been 0 days since the last Klaxon on this show".

--->'''Jack's Buzzer:''' Cinderella!

* "Pubs": Alan pretending to beat up [[ItMakesSenseInContext the man dressed as a giant chicken]] from the challenge earlier [[SoundtrackDissonance while everyone else is singing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"]].

* On the moon:

--> ''[stage whisper]'' Who's gonna tell Pam she probably witnessed a duck?

--->IMAGINE IF YOU WILL... a lone figure walking across Hampstead Heath, the sun GLINT-ing off his very eyes. For! He is making his way back from an evening at the INN, where he has partaken of mead, and other... [[FascinatingEyebrow lascivious beverages]]. ADORNING THE CHIN OF SAID STOUT FELLOW... are pimples! For! They betray his excesses, and these, at the time, were known... as... ''[looks straight into the camera]'' Marty Fitch, 01-287-469, available for panto... ''[looks back at the panel]'' '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome grog blossom]]'''.

* The Series G episode "Greats," particularly the discussion on giant tortoises. David Mitchell, Sean Lock and Alan Davies discussing why it took 300 years to give a Latin name to the [[https://youtu.be/zPggB4MfPnk giant tortoise]] is much, much funnier than it sounds[[note]]Long story short - the tortoises kept getting ''eaten'' before they made it back to England[[/note]].

--->'''Jack''': It's like watching two great stags banging their antlers together.

* Lying: Stephen asks the panelists to name a blue sea creature. Alan ''dives'' for the buzzer but is beat out by Jack Whitehall, who defers to the guy who's been shouting answers from the audience for the past few questions. "Shouty Man" picks the blue whale, which is correct. Shouty Man then goes on to actually get a score alongside the panelists at the end: -39, last place.

** Ross Noble claiming to be a time-traveler when Sandi shows an old portrait of a Croatian with curly black hair, and then being shocked that he's put on so much weight when it changes to a portly UsefulNotes/LouisXIV.

* "Procrastination": Sandi asks Alan to put on an oddly-designed hat, then has the panelists guess its purpose.

* "Revolutions" has Gyles' anecdotes, yet again, due to how he's seemingly related to ''everybody'' that was mentioned that episode.

** In the "CallMyBluff" round, Phill announces that he's going to do his "in the style of the usual customary [[ClassicallyTrainedExtra out-of-work actor]] they used to have on ''Call My Bluff'', who would then [[ChewingTheScenery really lean into his definition]] in an effort to [[MoneyDearBoy beg for work]]."

** Phill Jupitus has a minor breakdown over a revelation over the setting sun[[note]]to make it even better, if one listens very carefully, you can hear one of the audience members sounding completely bemused and saying "What?" after Stephen makes his initial statement about the mirage.[[/note]].

** Phill Jupitus has a minor breakdown over a revelation over the setting sun.

** We get to see Stephen, Alan, and Johnny Vegas all eat candy-covered insects with varying results of disgust and distress. With Johnny Vegas claiming (a la Franchise/SpiderMan) that eating a scorpion gave him the superpower of... being able to do a forward roll.

* "Smörgåsbord": The panel has a prolonged chat about food that Creator/JimmyCarr decides to order takeout and have it delivered to the studio while they are still recording. The food only arrives just as they are wrapping up the episode because the courier got confused about directions to the studio.

-->'''Phill Jupitus''': So we're doing middle-class Cockney rhyming slang?

-->'''Rob Brydon:''' And in fact, my father grew up in the same street, literally the same street, as Anthony Hopkins.\\

-->'''Rob:''' Is this another dig at my forefathers?\\

-->'''Stephen Fry:''' How does the 'love bomb' work?\\

'''Alan''': ''[to Jo]]'' Ha, ha.

--> ''[stage whisper]'' Should anyone tell her that she actually witnessed a duck?

** When the panelists are given a plate of what looks like wasabi and asked to identify it, Stephen tells them that is isn't wasabi and Johnny Vegas proceeds to eat a big spoonful of it... only for Stephen to continue explaining it's the British ''equivalent'' of wasabi. By the end of Johnny's resulting rant, he claims to have obtained superpowers.
--->'''Johnny:''' I'm seein' through walls!

--->'''Phill''': I...''hate'' this show. 'Cause the sun...is ''there!'' And you're like ''[imitating Stephen]'' '''NO.''' It's the ''Sun!'' ''[imitating Stephen again]'' '''NOT THERE.''' '''''MIRAAAAGGGEEEE...'''''

** Stephen, during the course of discussing French-derived words which have no meaning in French, laments the construction of a certain bathroom fixture:

-->'''Sean''': I hear voices. But I ignore them and ''carry on killing''.

--->'''Sarah:''' Well don't look at me!\\

** While discussing online shopping, Susan recalls a time during Christmas when she thought she ordered four onions, but ended up with four ''sacks'' of onions. To get rid of them before her wife came home, she went around to her neighbours offering them onions and pretending it was an old Scottish tradition.

--> '''Liza Tarbuck''': ''[To Sandi]'' Have you got a smart vagina?
--> '''Sandi''': ''[Barely missing a beat]'' It's terribly tidy. [[DoubleEntendre I have a woman in twice a week]]. ''[Reaches over to high-five Liza amidst a wave of laughter]''

** There’s a bit of a lull in conversation after everyone has just finished a pie eating contest. Gyles chooses to fill the moment by stating - in the most nonchalant tone possible - that he had once ‘eaten a pie containing human’. After Gyles finishes telling his story we cut to Sandi in StunnedSilence with a "Really, what am I supposed to say to that?" expression.

-->'''Alan:''' I was once walking home on Hampstead Heath, got caught short and had to do a poo under some leafs.
-->'''Bridget:''' I’m sorry, have you not been mocking me all evening?
-->'''Alan:''' [[BlatantLies I haven’t been mocking you: I’ve been sympathetic.]]
-->'''Bridget:''' No, you haven’t! And you’ve shat in a bush!

** Sandi gushes over cute minature shops in a model village. Loyiso isn't as impressed:
-->'''Loyiso''': These are things you do when you've met all your basic needs as a human being. I don't think people in Uganda are worried about this stuff.

-->'''Sandi:''' This is not what a lesbian on television looks like!

-->''Oh, I'm...absolutely riddled with chlamydiaaaa...''

---> Hey ladies, watch me get this goose with my face!(Mimes the goose hitting Fabio, then points at his face.) This could happen again!

--->'''Sandi''': Why would your mother-in-law give you one of these? ''(screen shows a handfull of extremely knobbly potatoes)''\\

--> '''Rob''': Now this is another example of the institutionalised racism which is [[AcceptableTargets accepted]] when it's directed towards the Welsh. Is this a reference to the joke "what is a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" "It's a leisure centre." ''[audience starts to laugh]'' No. No. ''[points at Rich Hall]'' And you, no. ''[points at Stephen]'' And you, no. ''[points at Alan Davies]'' And you...'''no'''.

'''Stephen Fry:''' Yeah...in England, [[AcceptableTargets we live in houses!]]

'''[[NOtSoAboveItAll Stephen]]''': IT'S HAIRIER THAN THE REST OF ME!

--->'''Stephen:'''Excluding a member of the human race, which [[TakeThat I'm not sure if whether that does or not.]]

** Asked to guess which ContentWarnings apply to which movies, nobody can spot that "Dangerous behaviour, mild threat, innuendo, infrequent mild bad language" is ''Film/{{Paddington}}''.

** Sandi and Ahir try to have a conversation in different languages, one Danish and the other Indian.

-->'''Sandi''': ''What kind of music did they listen to in the Stone Age?''
-->'''Bill (Expecting the klaxon)''': ''Rock! It was rock music!''
-->'''Sandi''': ''It was rock music![[note]]As in banging on certain rocks called singing rocks to make different sounds[[/note]]''
-->'''Bill''': ''[[FlatWhat What]]?''
-->'''Eshaan''': ''Rock music like [[TemptingFate The Rolling Stones]]?''

* Tools and Tips:
** Behind Sandi, there are safety signs that say "Caution: Elves at work", "BEWARE: GENERAL IGNORANCE", and "It has been 0 days since the last Klaxon on this show".
* Television:
** In the General Ignorance round, Alan goes on a rant about how they used to record horse races by driving a car alongside them with a camera on top. His tone continues into the next question, which is about the colour of radiation.
--->'''Sandi:''' We've reached the point of the show where Alan's medication has worn off.
* Testing:
** One question gets a great one-liner answer.
---> '''Sandi:''' What happens when you give a toddler cocaine?\\

** The background contains fake safety signs that say "Caution: Elves at work", "BEWARE: GENERAL IGNORANCE", and "It has been 0 days since the last Klaxon incident on this show".

* "Telling Tails":

* From the first episode "Adam", Stephen asks Hugh Laurie why Edward Woodward has four 'D's in his name. After Hugh gets interrupted by a buzzer and calls said buzzer presser out on it, Alan Davies starts talking about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4tRMzIkUAM kiwi fruit]].

* In "Jobs", Fry brings up Alice in Wonderland, and consequently, the Tim Burton film, in which Fry voiced the Chesire Cat. Pretending to struggle to remember who voiced the character, ala RuleOfFunny, Alan answers with "Hugh Laurie".

** Capping it off is Stephen informing the audience that [[https://youtu.be/B4GwzCQwAaE doctors started the rumor that STD's could be caught off toilets]] to encourage people to come forward.

** Phill Jupitus suggests that "Ooology" is the study of how much nans think you've grown.