Tropers: Quantum Toast

Describe Quantum Toast here.

It's toast that, when knocked off the table, lands with the buttered side simultaneously down and up. Don't ask what happens if you try the toast/cat thing with this and Schrodinger's Cat.

For some reason, it's also the username of this troper.

Since I'm feeling lazy, I'll just adapt the description I had in the forums;

I'm a Geek or Nerd (I can never remember the difference) with a Literal Genie sense of humour. And I'm the closest I've ever seen to a CloudcuckooSnarker... (It's a surprisingly effective combination, actually. Maybe the surprise factor helps the snarking... so it's like being attacked by a pigeon or something.) And I'm supposed to be pretty smart (or good at IQ tests, anyway), so that might qualify me for Genius Ditz too. Though in school I did a bit of Obfuscating Stupidity in an attempt to avoid bullies' notice. (It didn't work, incidentally.)
Also asexual, so I usually come off as a Chaste Hero (or I would if I was a hero), but I can still startle people with a Covert Pervert comment if I want to. It's probably that whole surprise factor again. And I'm probably a justified case of It's a Small Net After All, since I deliberately tried to come up with a name that nobody would already have. Seems to have worked so far.
What else... well, I have two Annoying Younger Siblings and a semi-Disappeared Dad (he moved out a few years ago, but he still lives pretty locally).