History Funny / Pinocchio

** Later on, Pinocchio tries to imitate the Russian dancer puppets, until he gets tangled in their strings. Even though they're lifeless, they look like they're all glaring at him.

-->'''Honest John''': No no, stupid! ''[snatches mallet]'' Don't be crude! ''[whacks Gideon on the head with the mallet]''

* Admit it, Stromboli is one of Disney's most ''[[LaughablyEvil hilarious]]'' villains ever, even during the scene where he's locking Pinocchio up in a cage. You can tell that Bill Tytla was having a blast animating this guy.

** Also, during Lampwick's [[NightmareFuel not-so-funny]] [[spoiler: transformation]] sequence, the way he says "What the...?" is at least snicker-worthy.
*** At the [[spoiler: first step of the transformation]], Pinocchio takes one look at him, [[NoMoreForMe and casts off his drink.]] And then tosses away his cigar too.
*** When his [[spoiler: transformation]] kicked into over-drive, and his first reaction was "I've been double-crossed! I've been framed!" As if he'd correctly deduced that someone else was turning him into a donkey. Like you'd really think that way in that situation.

*** "You sure do!"

** Even the coachman's infamous "...as BOYS!" line is pretty funny to watch when one is older.
* What was the TearJerker moment of the movie reverses itself when the [[spoiler:now-real]] Pinocchio asks Geppetto why he's crying, who answers with [[spoiler:[[NotNowWereTooBusyCryingOverYou "because you're dead, Pinocchio. Now lie down."]]]]

* The entire false medical examination Honest John and Gideon give Pinocchio to dupe him into going to Pleasure Island. A number of the medical terms they use are either gibberish or other terms completely unrelated to anatomy.
-->'''Honest John:'''(''wearing doctor's glasses and feeling Pinocchio's pulse.'') Bless my soul...(''thoughtful hmmming'') My, my, just as I thought. A slight case of monetary complications with bucolic semi-lunar contraptions of the flying trapezes.\\
(''While speaking, Gideon quickly [[spoiler: supposedly]] starts writing this in a notebook. Honset John then looks into Pinocchio's mouth, with more thoughtful hmmming.'')\\
-->'''Honest John:''' Say "hippopoatmus"\\
'''Pinocchio:''' (''unable to speak properly with his mouth opened and tongue being pressed against'') Hi-ho-hotamus.\\
'''Honest John:'''I knew it! (''Gideon continues writing, so quickly that his pen eventually goes across the pad'') Compound transmission of the pandemonium with spasmodic frantic disentegration!\\
'''Honest John:'''Close your eyes. What do you see?\\

'''Honest John:''' (''Puts a polka dot hankee in front of Pinocchio's face while his eyes are still closed'') Open them. No what do you see?\\
'''Pinocchio:''' (''somewhat awed'') Spots. \\
'''Honest John:''' Aha! Now that heart! (''Pulls up Pinocchio's shirt and puts his ear towards his chest while beating his cane against a window to emulate the sound of an abnormal heartbeat.'') OH my goodness! A palpitating synocpation of the killer diller with a wicky wacky stomping of the floy joy! (''The beat is so catchy, that Gideon is actually dancing to it as he writes down the notes. Honest John bonks gideon on the head with a cane and snatches the notebook'') Quick doctor, that report! (''Honest John with a look of thoughtfully examines the notebook for a second and then pulls back with a look of shock. While speaking, the camera reveals that Gideon has written nothing but scribbles on the notepad'') OH, this makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!\\
'''Pinocchio:''' (''looking very weary from Honest John's overly physical medical examination with his clothes dishovled and strethced'') Allergic?
* The first time Monstro sneezed, and Jiminy gave a rather understated "Gesundheit." Made even funnier considering [[MoodWhiplash it occurred during an otherwise very dramatic moment]]. The staff admitted that during the premiere, that line got the biggest laugh of the movie.
* In "Little Wooden Head", Pinocchio, which is not yet brought to life, plays with Figaro in a playful and mischievous way as Geppetto manipulates him with strings:

-->'''Geppetto:''' "Say hello to Figaro."

-->'''Geppetto:''' "Oops! Oh-ho-ho! Up to mischief already!"

-->'''Geppetto:''' "You see what happens?"

-->'''Geppetto (playing Pinocchio's voice) :''' "Boo!"

* In "I've Got No Strings":
-->'''Pinocchio:''' I've got no strings to hold me do--''(falls down the steps)''
** Followed by Stromboli making this indescribably hilarious ''squeal'' of fury.
** And followed further by [[{{Angrish}} a string of incomprehensible babbling]].
** Then he hears the audience laughing and calms down, tickling Pinocchio under his chin, in an attempt to make it seem like it's AllPartOfTheShow: "Cute kid!"
** Meanwhile, an irate Jiminy says, "Go ahead, make a fool of yourself -- then maybe you'll listen to your conscience!"
** Pinocchio tries to imitate the Russian dancer puppets, until to get tangled in their strings. Even though they're lifeless, they look like they're all glaring at him.
-->'''Pinocchio:''' They're are no strings on me! ''(covers his mouth)''

* Admit it, Stromboli is one of Disney's most ''hilarious'' villains ever, even during the scene where's locking Pinocchio up in a cage. You can tell that Bill Tytla was having a blast animating this guy.

* Gideon the cat attempting to hit Pinoke with a mallet, only to be stopped by Honest John
-->'''Honest John''': No no, stupid! (''snatches mallet'') DON'T be '''crude!''' (''whacks Giddy on the head with mallet'')

'''Jiminy:''' ''(gesturing with his umbrella)'' Well, that's him.\\

'''Jiminy:''' ''(surprised)'' Honest John??
* When Jiminy finds Pinocchio at Pleasure Island, he starts chiding him. Then, Jiminy kicks a pool ball in frustration, lets out a yelp of pain and goes ''right back'' to scolding Pinocchio.

-->'''Pinocchio:''' "What happened?!"\\
'''Blue Fairy:''' "Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio."\\
'''Jiminy:''' (sitting in the bird's nest that's appeared at the end of Pinocchio's nose) "'Perhaps'?!"
* When Geppetto and Figaro go out to inspect what the loud crashing noise was, Figaro, walking right underneath Geppetto in his nightgown, sees that Pinocchio has come to life and, in fright, jumps ''right into Geppetto's nightgown''. [[GroinAttack That had to hurt]].

-->'''Geppetto:''' "Oh, Pinocchio! How did you get down here?"\\
'''Pinocchio:''' "I fell down."\\
'''Geppetto:''' "Oh, you did... Oh! You are talking!"\\
'''Pinocchio:''' "Uh-huh."\\
'''Geppetto:''' "No! No. no, no!"\\
'''Pinocchio:''' "Yes, and I can move too."\\
'''Geppetto:''' "No, no, you can't! I'm dreaming in my sleep! Oh, wake me up! Wake me up!" (pours a pitcher of water over his head) "Now we see who's dreaming. Go on, say something."\\
'''Pinocchio:''' ''(giggling)''..."Gee, you're funny. Do it again!"\\
'''Geppetto:''' "You *do* talk!"

-->'''Jiminy:''' ''(loudly)'' Needs a little oil.\\
''("Needs a little oil" echos)''\\

-->'''Lampwick:''' Some fun, huh kid? (Pinocchio nods slowly, looking stoned out of his gourd.)
** Followed ''immediately'' by Pinoke trying to line up a shot in a game of pool with Lampwick. At one point, there's an ImpairmentShot of the 8-ball on the table, and it looks like the "8" is winking at him. Once he gets himself together, Jiminy enters with a sudden shout, causing Pinoke to make the worst scratch in history and faceplant into the table, flattening the cigar. The whole thing is comical.

** Also, during Lampwick's [[NightmareFuel not-so-funny]] [[spoiler: transformation]] sequence, the way he says "What the...?" is at least snicker-worthy

-->'''Pinocchio:''' They're ain't no strings on me! ''(covers his mouth)''

* What was the TearJerker moment of the movie, reverses itself when the [[spoiler: now-real]] Pinocchio asks Geppetto why he's crying, who answers with [[spoiler:"because you're dead, Pinocchio. ''Now lie down.''"]]

--> '''Pinnochio''': Look, pretty!
--> '''Geppetto''': [[OhCrap OH! HELP!]]

-->'''Pinocchio:''' (''unable to speak properly with his mouth opened and tongue being pressed against'') Hi-ho-hotamus.\\
-->'''Honest John:'''I knew it! (''Gideon continues writing, so quickly that his pen eventually goes across the pad'') Compound transmission of the pandemonium with spasmodic frantic disentegration!\\
-->'''Honest John:'''Close your eyes. What do you see?\\
-->'''Pinocchio:''' Nothing.\\
-->'''Honest John:''' (''Puts a polka dot hankee in front of Pinocchio's face while his eyes are still closed'') Open them. No what do you see?\\
-->'''Pinocchio:''' (''somewhat awed'') Spots. \\
-->'''Honest John:''' Aha! Now that heart! (''Pulls up Pinocchio's shirt and puts his ear towards his chest while beating his cane against a window to emulate the sound of an abnormal heartbeat.'') OH my goodness! A palpitating synocpation of the killer diller with a wicky wacky stomping of the floy joy! (''The beat is so catchy, that Gideon is actually dancing to it as he writes down the notes. Honest John bonks gideon on the head with a cane and snatches the notebook'') Quick doctor, that report! (''Honest John with a look of thoughtfully examines the notebook for a second and then pulls back with a look of shock. While speaking, the camera reveals that Gideon has written nothing but scribbles on the notepad'') OH, this makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!\\
-->'''Pinocchio:''' (''looking very weary from Honest John's overly physical medical examination with his clothes dishovled and strethced'') Allergic?
* The first time Monstro sneezed, and Jiminy gave a rather understated "Gesundheit." Made even funnier considering it occurred during an otherwise very dramatic moment. The staff admitted during the premiere, that line got the biggest laugh of the movie.

* Jiminy getting so furious with Pinocchio on Pleasure Island that he mixes his metaphors:

** Followed IMMEDIATELY by Pinoke trying to line up a shot in a game of pool with Lampwick. Once he gets himself together, Jiminy enters with a sudden shout, causing Pinoke to make the worst scratch in history and faceplant into the table, flattening the cigar. The whole thing is comical.

* The entire false medical examination Honest John and Gideon give Pinocchio to dupe him into going to Pleasure Island.

(''While speaking, Gideon quickly [[spoiled: supposedly]] starts writing this in a notebook. Honset John then looks into Pinocchio's mouth, with more thoughtful hmmming.'')
-->'''Honest John:''' Say "hippopoatmus"//

* When Honest John and Gideon are performing a fake diagnosis on Pinocchio to get him to go to Pleasure Island.
-->'''Honest John:''' Oh my, this is serious. ''(cut to Gideon's notepad, which is nothing but scribbles)''

** Also, during Lampwick's [[NightmareFuel not-funny]] [[spoiler: transformation]] sequence, the way he says "What the...?" is at least snicker-worthy

-->'''Jiminy:''' You've buttered your bread. Now ''sleep'' in it!

** Geppetto carries Pinocchio and runs around, accompanied by the sound of a firetruck. Until he dips Pinocchio's finger into the goldfish's bowl, leaving her charcoal black.

* ''Pinocchio'' has a few, probably unintentional examples, perhaps slipping into BlackComedy.
** There's the scene where Stromboli finds and bites a piece of metal among his gold coins, goes into a rant of gibberish...then suddenly calms down: "For you, Pinocchio."

** And followed further by a string of incomprehensible babbling.

'''Jiminy:''' ...That's what I said.

* [[TakeThat What's an actor want with a conscience anyway?]]

* When Gepetto and Figaro go out to inspect what the loud crashing noise was, Figaro, walking right underneath Gepetto in his nightgown, sees that Pinocchio has come to life and, in fright, jumps ''right into Gepetto's nightgown''. [[GroinAttack That had to hurt]].
* The moment Gepetto realizes that Pinocchio is speaking to him:

'''Geppetto:''' "You *do* talk!"

* When Gepetto and Figaro go out to inspect what the loud crashing noise was, Figaro, walking right underneath Gepetto in his nightgown, sees that Pinocchio has come to life and, in fright, jumps ''right into Gepetto's nightgown''. [[GroinAttack That had to hurt]].

* Admit it, Stromboli is one of Disney's most ''hilarious'' villains ever, even during the scene where's locking Pinocchio up in a cage. Bill Tytla animates him like he won't stand still for a minute.

* when Gepetto and Figaro go out to inspect what the loud crashing noise was, Figaro, walking right underneath Gepetto in his nightgown, sees that Pinocchio has come to life and, in fright, jumps ''right into Gepetto's nightgown''. [[GroinAttack That had to hurt]].

* [[LargeHam Stromboli]]

* Admit it, Stromboli is one of Disney's most ''hilarious'' villains ever, even during the scene where's locking Pinocchio up in a cage.

'''Jiminy:''' (sitting in the bird's nest that's appeared at the end of Pinocchio's nose) "'Perhaps'?!"

'''Jiminy:'''(sitting in the bird's nest that's appeared at the end of Pinocchio's nose) "'Perhaps'?!"