History Funny / OceansEleven

* While working the inside job at the gaming expo, Frank explains to his model that they want to project a "classy, genteel" image. When a model asks what specifically he wants from them, he replies "Raise those skirts up three inches."

* "Raise those skirts up by about three inches." -- by Frank, asking the girls he's hiring for the domino stand.

* The movie opens with a flashback to when Rusty and Isabel are together. Isabel in bed mentions her crew found a boot matching Rusty's own in connection to a recent theft, and a hair. Rusty sits in the bathroom listening with great concern.

-->''[camera cuts to what Rusty is looking at with worry; his conditioner, hair highlighter, and dandruff shampoo]''

** He then relays the stories of the three most successful robberies in the history of Las Vegas casinos (only one of whom even made it out the front door) to Rusty and Danny:

* When Linus suggests that Basher take a break from the industrial drill to buy his own magazines. Needless to say he's upset at Linus' lack of awareness of what kind of machine it is.

** Cut to the end of the movie, and [[BrickJoke that's]] ''[[BrickJoke exactly]]'' [[BrickJoke what they do]]. May also count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.

--->'''Saul:''' {{Let me get this straight}}: say we get past the door we can't open and down the elevator we can't use and past the guards with the guns and into the vault we can't open--\\

'''Danny:''' Uh, yeah, sorry--forgot about that...\\
'''Saul:''' --Yeah...say we do all that: We're just gonna ''walk'' outta there, with a hundred and fifty million dollars--''without being stopped''?!?\\

'''Danny:''' ...[[BluntYes Well, yeah]].\\

* Danny and Rusty get wake-up calls. [[PrankCall At 11:30 pm the night before]]. [[MagnificentBastard From Tolour]].

'''Rusty:''' Oh! Oh, he's mean. That's just mean spirit- how many espressos did you have?\\

[[folder:Ocean's Eleven]]

'''Danny''': ''({{Beat}})'' Ted Nugent called.....he wants his shirt back.

[[folder:Ocean's Twelve]]

** Also from that scene, everyone is tallying how much they each owe Benedict, with interest. The interest is ~6 million, and they each owe Benedict 19 million in total. The picks of the bunch? Livingston is short just the ~6 million ([[BasementDweller he's been staying with his parents]]), while Rusty is short 25 million ("Hotels, man").

[[folder:Ocean's Thirteen]]

* When the group gets together just after Benedict has found+threatened everyone, the group is more concerned and hurt about the fact that Benedict called them "Ocean's 11", and voice their concerns to Danny, while Rusty simply smirks.

-->'''Roman:''' Tell him having a sexy female assistant is such a terrible cliche. (''[[HypocriticalHumor Cue Roman's sexy female assistant walking in after he hangs up]]'')
* Danny and Rusty get wake-up calls. [[PrankCall At 11:30pm the night before]]. [[MagnificentBastard From Tolour]].

* After Ocean and his crew respond to Benedict's attempted double-crossing of them by donating the money they promised him to a orphan's charity, in his name:

'''Benedict''': ''[glances at Linus's crotch]''

----
!!Ocean's Eleven

* "How's the game?" "Longest hour of my life." "What?" "I said I'm running away with your wife!" "Great!"
* Rusty's response to Danny's eloquent MotiveRant about how the house always wins: "You rehearsed that speech, didn't you?" "Little bit, did I rush it?" "No, it was good, I liked it. The Teen Beat thing was harsh, though."

-->'''Reuben:''' But what am I saying? You guys are pros! The best! I'm ''sure'' you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, ''you're still in the middle of the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] DESERT!''
** Speaking of the stories: The fact that the punch line for each incident is accompanied by a freeze-frame!

* The Malloy Bros.' introduction - a scene immediately preceded by Rusty telling Danny that they are "having trouble filling the hours."
-->'''Turk''': "Waiting. I'm waiting."
-->'''Virgil''': "Yes, go."
-->'''Turk''': "Waiting on you, sweetheart."
-->'''Virgil''': "You what?"
-->'''Turk''': "''Go'', little gi--you're like a little girl."
-->'''Virgil:''' ''(smirking)'' "Wha-wha-wha-!"
-->'''Turk''': "Don't-- I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period french okay?"
-->'''Virgil''': ''What''?
-->'''Turk''': Stop it and ''go''!

* "It will be nice working with proper villains again." - Pretty much explains the whole appeal of the trilogy.

-->'''Danny''': "Which one's The Amazing Yen?"
-->'''Rusty''': "The little Chinese guy."
-->'''Danny''': ''({{Beat}})'' ''*are-you-serious-stare*''

'''Rusty''': ''*says nothing*''\\

'''Rusty''': ''*still says nothing*''\\

'''Rusty''': ''*further nothing*''\\
'''Danny''': All right, we'll get one more. ''*walks off*''\\
'''Rusty''': ''*blinks*''

** Cue Saul: [[LetMeGetThisStraight "Let me get this straight:]] say we get past the door we can't open and down the elevator we can't use and past the guards with the guns and into the vault we can't open--"
--> '''Rusty:''' Without being seen by the cameras.
--> '''Danny:''' Uh, yeah, sorry--forgot about that....
** "--Yeah...say we do all that: We're just gonna ''walk'' outta there, with a hundred and fifty million dollars--''without being stopped''?!?"
--> ''({{Beat}}...{{Beat}}...{{Beat}}....)''
--> '''Danny:''' ...[[BluntYes Well, yeah.]]
--> '''Saul:''' ''(Stares at him in silence with an OhCrap look)'' ...Oh. Okay.... ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck (Takes some Tums)]]''
** [[spoiler: Cut to the end of the movie, and [[BrickJoke that's]] ''[[BrickJoke exactly]]'' [[BrickJoke what they do.]]]] May also count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.

-->'''Danny''': Why do they always paint hallways that color?\\
'''Rusty''': They say taupe is very soothing.\\
'''Danny''': ''*shrugs, takes sip of whiskey*''
* Basher showing up after [[ItMakesSenseInContext traveling in a sewer,]] covered in you-know-what, declaring, "Yeah--we're in ''deep--''!"
* While waiting for Danny, Basher, and Yen to steal the "pinch," Linus is stuck in the getaway van with the "Bickering Brothers" Virgil and Turk Malloy. Cue hilariousness:

'''Turk:''' ''[with disdain]'' Okay, go ahead, I got one.\\

'''Turk:''' ''[interrupting]'' No, I've already ''thought'' of one, I'm not going ''think'' of one.\\
'''Virgil:''' ''[egging him on]'' Alright, so you're ''thinking'' of one right now.\\

'''Turk:''' ''[impatiently]'' ''Yes,'' eighteen.\\

'''Turk:''' ...''shit!''

-->'''Rusty''': Don't use seven words when four will do; don't shift your weight. Look always at your mark, but don't stare. Be specific but not memorable; be funny but don't make him laugh. He's gotta like you, and then forget you the moment you've left his sight. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances —
-->'''Livingston''': [off screen] Rust, can you take a look at this?
-->'''Rusty''': Sure. [leaves]
-->'''Linus''': ...
** It's implied that he was leading into 'screw up', which Livingston delivers just before Linus takes his cue to talk to Benedict.

* As Basher is about to activate the Pinch, he slowly covers his crotch with one hand and crouches slightly away in hesitation. His entire body language screams ThisIsGonnaSuck.[[note]]It gets even better when you know that was actually an improvised move by Don Cheadle - it was such a perfect move that it became a case of ThrowItIn[[/note]]

--->'''Linus:''' Y'know, you lose focus for one second...
--->'''Danny:''' I know, someone gets hurt. I don't hear Yen complaining.

--->'''Yen:''' WHERE [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] YOU BEEN?"
--->'''Danny/Linus''' ... Sorry.

** "Of course I'm in the Casino. In fact, I'm staying in your hotel. I've got two words for you - Mini Bar."

-->'''Rusty''': I hope you were the groom
-->'''Danny''': *beat* Ted Nugent called.....he wants his shirt back.

----
!!Ocean's Twelve

* Linus talks Danny and Rusty into letting him do more for the team while in Europe. So they bring him along to a meet with Matsui (Robbie Coltrane), during which Matsui converses with a bizarre code slang. When Matsui nods at Linus for a response, the flustered rookie con artist can only come up with lyrics to Music/LedZeppelin's "Kashmir". Which seemingly enrages Matsui. [[spoiler:Linus' mom finds out during the movie's end and gently chides him for it.]]

-->'''Rusty:''' Yeah?
-->'''Danny:''' But...
-->'''Rusty:''' Right.
-->'''Danny:''' Yeah?
-->'''Rusty:''' ''[to everyone else]'' Ahab with a piggyback.
* After being pipped to their ''relatively''-small-time artefact (about $2M) by the Night Fox - and thus challenged with the entire debt as a prize - the team responds by breaking into his Lake Como mansion and stealing a small collection of paintings [[FlippingTheBird in the formation of a middle finger.]]

* Danny and Rusty get wake-up calls. [[PrankCall At 11:30pm the night before.]] [[MagnificentBastard From Tolour.]]
-->'''Danny:''' It's 5:30, day of. We gotta go. Let's go.
-->'''Rusty:''' It's 11:30, the night before.
-->'''Danny:''' Oh... wh.. (double-take) Oh.
-->'''Rusty:''' Oh! Oh, he's mean. That's just mean spirit- how many espressos did you have?
-->'''Danny:''' [[MustHaveCaffeine Five.]]
* When Plan A goes wrong, Linus coaxes Tess to fly to Italy in order to perform a "[[CelebrityParadox Looky-Loo]]". In the limo from the airport Tess argues what's going on while Linus and Basher bicker over [[Creator/JuliaRoberts Julia Roberts]]'s accent that she's supposed to put on; of all people [[Creator/DonCheadle Basher]] himself states "[[HypocriticalHumor The accent is crucial]]. [[TakeThatMe That's the first thing people notice]]!".

''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''Linus:''' Oh come on, [[spoiler: you told Dad?!]]
** And then at the end of ''Ocean's Thirteen''.
-->'''Male FBI Agent:''' [[spoiler: I'm just glad your mother didn't have to see that.]]

----
!!Ocean's Thirteen

* "Raise those skirts up by about three inches." - by Frank, asking the girls he's hiring for the domino stand.
* "Is that - are you watching ''{{Oprah}}''!?

* Basher hamming it up as Fender Roads: "This is HEAVY BIKE! Fender Roads is a" *pretends to play patriotic music on a flute* "I'M A GODDAMN AMERICAN ICON!" *salute*

-->"Are you in yet?"
-->"I hate that question."
** From that same scene (translated):
-->"Not too much, make it somewhat recognizable."
-->"I can make you taller. You wanna be taller?"
-->"..."
-->"You're a dwarf in 34 states."
-->"And an animal in the other 34."
-->*stare*
-->"24... 22."
* After [[spoiler:Ocean and his crew respond to Benedict's attempted double-crossing of them by donating the money they promised him to a orphan's charity, in his name]]:
--> '''Benedict:''' You think this is funny?\\
'''Ocean:''' Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad!

-->'''Rusty:''' Ahab with a piggyback.

* Yen asks a serious, practical question about the robbery in Mandarian, [[TranslationConvention and Danny gives a serious answer in English]]. For whatever reason, the thieves can magically understand one another.

* As Basher is about to activate the Pinch, he slowly covers his crotch with one hand and crouches slightly away in hesitation. His entire body language screams ThisIsGonnaSuck.

* When Plan A goes wrong, Linus coaxes Tess to fly to Italy in order to perform a "[[CelebrityParadox Looky-Loo]]". In the limo from the airport Tess argues what's going on while Linus and Basher bicker over the accent she's supposed to put on; of all people Basher himself states "[[HypocriticalHumor The accent is crucial]]. [[TakeThatMe That's the first thing people notice]]!".

-->'''Roman:''' "Tell him having a sexy female assistant is such a terrible cliche." (''[[HypocriticalHumor Cue Roman's sexy female assistant walking in after he hangs up]]'')

* Before Reuben is convinced the job is a good idea - "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MINDS?"- he relays the stories of the three most successful robberies in the history of Las Vegas casinos (only one of whom even made it out the front door) to Rusty and Danny:

** Every other line from Reuben for that matter, as both DeadpanSnarker and [[TheMentor elder wiseguy]] who understands how things work in the con game.
* While watching surveillance of security hallways:
-->'''Danny''': Why do they always paint hallways that color?\\
'''Rusty''': They say taupe is very soothing.\\
'''Danny''': ''*shrugs, takes sip of whiskey*''
* Danny and Rusty's "conversation" before they pick up Linus:
-->'''Danny''': Ten ought to do it, don't you think?\\
'''Rusty''': ''*says nothing*''\\
'''Danny''': You think we need one more?\\
'''Rusty''': ''*still says nothing*''\\
'''Danny''': You think we need one more.\\
'''Rusty''': ''*further nothing*''\\
'''Danny''': All right, we'll get one more. ''*walks off*''\\
'''Rusty''': ''*blinks*''
* "It will be nice working with proper villains again." - Pretty much explains the whole appeal of the trilogy.
* "I wonder what Reuben will say?" [GilliganCut to Reuben] "YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS!"

* Linus poses as someone from the NGC and talks to Benedict about Frank:
-->'''Linus''': Apparently he's got a record longer than my... Well...it's long.\\
'''Benedict''': ''[glances at Linus's crotch]''
* While waiting for Danny, Basher, and Yen to steal the "pinch," Linus is stuck in the getaway van with the "Bickering Brothers" Virgil and Turk Malloy. Cue hilariousness:
-->'''Virgil:''' Alright, you start.\\
'''Turk:''' ''[with disdain]'' Okay, go ahead, I got one.\\
'''Virgil:''' Are you gonna think of one, or--\\
'''Turk:''' ''[interrupting]'' No, I've already ''thought'' of one, I'm not going ''think'' of one.\\
'''Virgil:''' ''[egging him on]'' Alright, so you're ''thinking'' of one right now.\\
'''Turk:''' No, I'm ''done'' thinking about, I have it in my head.\\
'''Virgil:''' Fine. Are you a man.\\
'''Turk:''' Yes, nineteen.\\
'''Virgil:''' Are you alive.\\
'''Turk:''' ''[impatiently]'' ''Yes,'' eighteen.\\
'''Virgil:''' Evel Knievel.\\
'''Turk:''' ...''shit!''
* "How's the game?" "Longest hour of my life." "What?" "I said I'm running away with your wife!" "Great!"
* Rusty's response to Danny's eloquent MotiveRant about how the house always wins: "You rehearsed that speech, didn't you?" "Little bit, did I rush it?" "No, it was good, I liked it. The Teen Beat thing was harsh, though."
* The fact that Danny and Rusty begin their briefing on the robbery by piling on just how ''impossible'' it's all gonna be.
** Cue Saul: [[LetMeGetThisStraight "Let me get this straight:]] say we get past the door we can't open and down the elevator we can't use and past the guards with the guns and into the vault we can't open--"
--> '''Rusty:''' Without being seen by the cameras.
--> '''Danny:''' Uh, yeah, sorry--forgot about that....
** "--Yeah...say we do all that: We're just gonna ''walk'' outta there, with a hundred and fifty million dollars--''without being stopped''?!?"
--> ''({{Beat}}...{{Beat}}...{{Beat}}....)''
--> '''Danny:''' ...[[BluntYes Well, yeah.]]
--> '''Saul:''' ''(Stares at him in silence with an OhCrap look)'' ...Oh. Okay.... ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck (Takes some Tums)]]''
** [[spoiler: Cut to the end of the movie, and [[BrickJoke that's]] ''[[BrickJoke exactly]]'' [[BrickJoke what they do.]]]] May also count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
** When the group shows up at Reuben's doorstep: "What, did you guys get a group rate or something?"
* As Danny and Rusty are scouting Yen's Chinese acrobat troupe:
-->'''Danny''': "Which one's The Amazing Yen?"
-->'''Rusty''': "The little Chinese guy."
-->'''Danny''': ''({{Beat}})'' ''*are-you-serious-stare*''
* Basher showing up after [[ItMakesSenseInContext traveling in a sewer,]] covered in you-know-what, declaring, "Yeah--we're in ''deep--''!"
* Toulour's laser dance in ''Twelve''. This man beats a "randomly-shifting" laser field by ''dancing''.
* "Raise those skirts up by about three inches."
* The Nalloy Bros.' introduction - a scene immediately preceded by Rusty telling Danny that they are "having trouble filling the hours."

* Danny's trigger malfunctioning, with Linus reasoning the batteries needing changing. This dialogue is part-CallBack
* "Where the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] you been?" Made even funnier by the fact that this is one of only two lines ''in the entire trilogy'' that Yen says in English. Not to mention that had they ''been'' on time, he'd have been blown to bits.
** Danny and Linus' sheepish apologies after make it even better.

* After being pipped to their ''relatively''-small-time artefact (about $2M) by the Night Fox - and thus challenged with the entire debt as a prize - the team responds by breaking into his Lake Como mansion to accept his wager... by stealing a small collection of paintings [[FlippingTheBird in the formation of a middle finger.]]

* "Where the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] you been?" Made even funnier by the fact that this is one of only two lines ''in the entire trilogy'' that Yen says in English. Not to mention that had they ''been'' on time, he'd have been blown to bits.
** Danny and Linus' sheepish apologies after make it even better.
* "It will be nice working with proper villains again." - Pretty much explains the whole appeal of the trilogy.

* The end of ''Ocean's Twelve''.
-->'''Female Interpol Agent:''' I'm proud of you...we both are.\\
''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''Linus:''' Oh come on, [[spoiler: you told Dad?!]]
** And then at the end of ''Ocean's Thirteen''.
-->'''Male FBI Agent:''' [[spoiler: I'm just glad your mother didn't have to see that.]]
* "I won eleven million dollars!"

* "Is that - are you watching ''{{Oprah}}''!?
* "He's in the Casino by the slots."
* "I wonder what Reuben will say?" [GilliganCut to Reuben] "YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS!"

* This exchange from ''Ocean's Thirteen'', after [[spoiler:Ocean and his crew respond to Benedict's attempted double-crossing of them by donating the money they promised him to a orphan's charity, in his name]]:
--> '''Benedict:''' You think this is funny?\\
'''Ocean:''' Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad!
* In ''Twelve'', Linus talks Danny and Rusty into letting him do more for the team while in Europe. So they bring him along to a meet with Matsui (Robbie Coltrane), during which Matsui converses with a bizarre code slang. When Matsui nods at Linus for a response, the flustered rookie con artist can only come up with lyrics to Music/LedZeppelin's "Kashmir". Which seemingly enrages Matsui. [[spoiler:Linus' mom finds out during the movie's end and gently chides him for it.]]
* After being pipped to their ''relatively''-small-time artefact (about $2M) by the Night Fox - and thus challenged with the entire debt as a prize - the team responds by breaking into his Lake Como mansion to accept his wager... by stealing a small collection of paintings [[FlippingTheBird in the formation of a middle finger.]]

* Basher hamming it up as Fender Roads: "This is HEAVY BIKE! Fender Roads is a" *pretends to play patriotic music on a flute* "I'M A GODDAMN AMERICAN ICON!" *salute*
** This brief exchange between Virgil and Turk as they're hacking Bank's computer during Basher's distraction:
-->"Are you in yet?"
-->"I hate that question."
** From that same scene (translated):
-->"Not too much, make it somewhat recognizable."
-->"I can make you taller. You wanna be taller?"
-->"..."
-->"You're a dwarf in 34 states."
-->"And an animal in the other 34."
-->*stare*
-->"24... 22."

* Toulour's laser dance in ''Twelve''. This man beats a "randomly-shifting" laser field by ''dancing''.
* "Raise those skirts up by about three inches."
* Turk and Virgil from the first movie, upon their introduction - a scene immediately preceded by Rusty telling Danny that the brothers are "having trouble filling the hours."
-->'''Turk''': "Waiting. I'm waiting."
-->'''Virgil''': "Yes, go."
-->'''Turk''': "Waiting on you, sweetheart."
-->'''Virgil''': "You what?"
-->'''Turk''': "''Go'', little gi--you're like a little girl."
-->'''Virgil:''' ''(smirking)'' "Wha-wha-wha-!"
-->'''Turk''': "Don't-- I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period french okay?"
-->'''Virgil''': ''What''?
-->'''Turk''': Stop it and ''go''!
** The fact that they're racing a monster truck against a monster truck ''model'' and Virgil only loses because Turk runs the mini over with his truck. Turk's delighted cackle is priceless.
* When the group gets together in 12 just after Benedict has found+threatened everyone, the group is more concerned and hurt about the fact that Benedict called them "Ocean's 11", and voice their concerns to Danny, while Rusty simply smirks.