History Funny / NationalTreasure

* When Ben and Dr. Chase kiss almost by accident in the tomb, Shaw enters behind them, witnesses it, and wonders aloud in a ''really'' distinct accent.
-->'''Shaw:''' Why does that never happen to me?

-->'''Victor:''' How could they build all this with hand tools?\\

-->'''Ben:''' Hi! Do you have a cell phone?

'''Ben:''' ...I think he invented ''these''

--> '''Sadusky:''' We got a name on the tipster?
--> '''FBI Agent:''' [looking more uncomfortable by the second] There was no file opened. We didn't find the information credible.
--> '''Sadusky:''' ''[[TranquilFury *long, angry sigh*]]'' …How 'bout now?

--> '''Riley:''' Well, ''that'' was disappointing.

--> '''Woman Behind Counter:''' If you're not a steak you don't belong here.
--> '''Abigail:''' I'm sorry, I'm just trying to hide from my ex-husband.
--> '''Woman Behind Counter:''' Who, Baldy?
-->''[she observes Shaw]''
--> '''Woman Behind Counter:''' [[SassyBlackWoman Honey, you can stay as long as you like.]]
-->''[Shaw approaches]''
--> '''Woman Behind Counter:''' Do you want something? Do you ''want'' something?
--> '''Shaw:''' Shut up. ''[walks away]''
--> '''Woman Behind Counter:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I see why you left him.]]

--> '''Riley''': I would have dropped you both. Freaks.

--> '''Shaw''': Why does that never happen to me?

--->'''Riley''': Okay. Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

* The mean and nasty ([[Film/RomanHoliday and familiar]]) trick Ben plays on the group when he sticks his hand into the rock on top Mount Rushmore
--> (laughs) I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

--> ''[As a truck starts slowing down to give him a lift]''
--> '''POTUS''': [[DeadpanSnarker Well, this is going to be interesting.]]

-->'''Abigail''': I'm ''not'' making a scene right now--
--> '''Riley''': (''over the ear piece radio'') No, we need a scene.
-->'''Ben''': Well then [[NoIndoorVoice FINE!]], let's make a scene right NOW!
-->'''Riley:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Ah, so subtle]].
-->'''Ben''': Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE!!! I'M WRONG AGAIN!!! * silly walk with over the top chanting* WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!
-->'''Abigail''': You're wrong to assume I want the chair!
-->'''Ben''': *while grabbing a hapless bystander* You see? You see? Everyone listen to this. This is more interesting than that. She thinks that even when I'm right, I'm wrong, isn't that right? Abigail, just because I answer a question quickly, doesn't make it wrong.
-->'''Abigail''': Not if the right answer is something we need to figure out as a couple. That's what couples do.
-->'''[[UsefulNotes/BritishCoppers Police Officer]]''': Sorry sir, you and the mussus are going to have to take it outside.
-->'''Ben''': Oh, look now you've got the little ''bobbies'' down on us! ''You'' take the missus outside. I'm staying right here!
--> *slides down banister* WHEEE!!!

--->'''Police Officer''': *catching a whiff of Ben's "cologne"* Been drinking, have we?
--->'''Ben''' Just a nip. Popped down to the pub for a pint. But all right. Going to arrest a man for that? Going to detain a blighter for enjoying his whisKEY!?
--->'''Officer''': That's enough of that.
--->'''Ben''': Bangers and mash. Bubbles and squeak. Smoke eel pipe. [[SuddenlyShouting HAGGIS!]]
--->'''Officer''': That's it! Dismount the banister!
--->'''Ben''': *gets wrested off the banister, and starts signing at the top of his lungs* I've got a bunch of lovely coconuts! Here they, are standing in a row! Small ones, big ones, some as big as your head!

--> "Connor rocks!"

--> '''Abigail:''' I heard Benjamin Franklin invented something like these.
--> '''Ben:''' ...I think he invented ''these''

** Made [[LuckyTranslation twice as funny]] in the German dub thanks to the butcher calling Shaw "[[Series/{{Kojak}} Kojak]]" instead of the rather generic "Baldy."

--> '''FBI Agent:''' [looking more uncomfortable by the second] No file was opened.
--> '''Sadusky:''' And why not?
--> '''FBI Agent:''' We didn't find the information credible.
--> '''Sadusky:''' How 'bout now?

-->'''Ben''': Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE!!! I'M WRONG AGAIN!!!
* silly walk with over the top chanting* WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!

Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE!!! I'M WRONG AGAIN!!!
-->'''Ben''': *silly walk with over the top chanting* WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!

-->'''Ben''': Well then [[NoIndoorVoice FINE!]], let's make a scene right NOW! Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE!!! I'M WRONG AGAIN!!!
--> *silly walk with over the top chanting* WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!

** Made [[LuckyTranslation twice as funny]] in the German dub thanks to the butcher calling Shaw "[[Series/{{Kojak}} Kojak]]" instead of the rather generic "Baldy".

** Made twice as funny in the German dub thanks to the butcher calling Shaw "[[Series/{{Kojak}} Kojak]]" instead of the rather generic "Baldy".

** Ben's cheeky grin ("'Allo!") to the security guard who stops him on the way down the banister. Really, the entire scene is comedy gold, given that it involves [[LargeHam Nicolas Cage]] getting to go nuts in a movie where his character is otherwise mostly straight-faced.

-->'''Ben''': Well then [[NoIndoorVoice FINE!]], let's make a scene right NOW! Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!!
--> *silly walk*
-->'''[[UsefulNotes/BritishCoppers Police Officer]]''': Sorry sir, you're going to have to take it outside.

[[caption-width-right:350:[[ChewingTheScenery Ben Gates: Making as scene as only Nicolas Cage can.]]]]