Funny / National Treasure

  • "Sir, it's the Hudson. Nothing is visible."
  • Just about anything Riley says.
    Riley: (lying in the backseat, whining) When are we gonna get there? I'm hungry. This car smells weird.
  • The deleted scene from the first movie, where Abigail and Riley run through an empty strip-club.
    Riley: Well, that was disappointing.
  • The scene where Abigail is hiding from Shaw behind a meat counter and has this encounter with one of the woman who works behind the counter.
    Woman Behind Counter: If you're not a steak you don't belong here.
    Abigail: I'm sorry, I'm just trying to hide from my ex-husband.
    Woman Behind Counter: Who, Baldy?
    *focuses on Shaw*
    *Shaw approaches*
    Woman Behind Counter: Do you want something? Do you want something?
    Shaw: Shut up. (walks away)
    Woman Behind Counter: I see why you left him.
  • The Friend or Idol Decision...Ben drops Abigail in order to save the Declaration of Independence. Ben starts apologizing, but Abigail reassures him: She would have done the exact same thing in Ben's position! Riley naturally lampshades this.
    Riley: I would have dropped you both... freaks.
  • When Ben and Dr. Chase kiss almost by accident in the tomb, one of Ian's Mooks enters behind them, witnesses it, and wonders aloud in a really distinct accent.
    Mook: Why does that never happen to me?
  • The Templar Treasure scene and Riley's reaction to it.
    Riley: Look.... Stairs.
    • "It's a big blueish-green man... with a strange-looking goatee. ... I'm guessing that's significant." *hugs the statue*
    • And in the sequel, they make a Call Back to that joke with this: "It's a little golden man" (refering to a small idol.)
      Riley: Okay. Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?
  • From the sequel, Riley's reaction to not being able to read the Book of Secrets cover to cover.
  • In the sequel when they talk about Laboulaye, Patrick said that he was a Mason and per definition, he built clues into everything, as Masons usually did. Riley asked him if he read that in his book. Patrick's expression is a very deadpan mixture of 'No' and 'You wrote a book?'.
  • The mean and nasty (and familiar) trick Ben plays on the group when he sticks his hand into the rock on top Mount Rushmore
    (laughs) I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
  • In the sequel, the scene where the President of the United States has to resort to hitchhiking.
    [As a truck starts slowing down to give him a lift]
  • Also in the sequel, a scene in Buckingham Palace where Ben and Abigail pretend to be a bickering couple is priceless!
    Abigail: I'm not making a scene right now—
    Riley: (over the ear piece radio) No, we need a scene.
    Ben: Well then FINE!, let's make a scene right NOW! Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!!
    *silly walk*
    Police Officer: Sorry sir, you're going to have to take it outside.
    Ben: Oh, look now you've got the little bobbies down on us! You take the missus outside. I'm staying right here!
    *slides down banister* WHEEE!!!
  • Riley's odd tastes in treasure:
    Riley: Guys, look at this. (awestruck) It's a little golden man.
  • Ben's completely deadpan — but somehow still overacted — comment about Abigail's new love interest after he assures them that he can show them the Oval Office.
    "Connor rocks!"