History Funny / KnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords

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* "Well, it is isn't the one who stole the Ebon Hawk. Not so smug now, are you, you little thief?"

** Downloading the TSLRCM adds all the HK-47 and HK-50 conversation back to the game, allowing you to experience the factory in all of it's HamToHamCombat glory. Just one of the funniest events includes 47 walking up to the usual [[RuleOfThree trio]] of 50's, realizes that his programming prevents him from attacking "himself", realizes ''their'' programming prevents them from attack "themself", and proceeds to simply [[TakeAThirdOption walk past them]].

* When you first land on Nar Shaddaa, you will get reprimanded by a Toydarian dockmaster (and the only Toydarian you meet in the game). Try to use a JediMindTrick on him to make him let an unscheduled landing pass, and the game will decide to tease those who are unaware or forgot that Toydarians are [[NoSell immune to mind tricks]].

--->'''Atton:''' [[FacingTheBulletsOneLiner Funny, that's just what I was thinking.]]

* [[DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm The Disciple and Handmaiden]] completely not getting Atton's sardonicism. "No, Atton! I think it might ''be'' a trap!"

--> '''Handmaiden''': I have heard that Jedi sometimes renounce the code by loving another, and fall from the Order. And there are others who keep such unions secret.
--> '''Exile''': I think it's called "pulling a Bindo".
--> '''Handmaiden''': Pulling a... Bindo?
--> '''Exile''': Bad joke, bald guy, long story.

'''Kreia''': I hope your talent for understatement is offset by your skill with a blaster. If not, then I fear our time together will be short indeed.
-->'''Atton''': Yeah, and I'm also good at running and drinking, your majesty.

** If you go back to your residential apartment as B4-D4, and try to interact with the bed, you get what is, quite possibly, the bluntest tooltip in either [=KotOR=] game"

** Also, you can talk to the Duros who maintains B4-D4, and what follows is B4-D4 pointing out that it undergoes memory wipes a lot more than normal. Almost as if he had something to hide... But of course, B4-D4 could "forget" to mention it to Jana Lorso, in exchange for, oh, let's say... 25 credits? The best part? IT WORKS.
--->'''Opo Chano:''' Fine! Here! [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Blackmailed by a droid]]...

--> '''Handmaiden''': "I have heard that Jedi sometimes renounce the code by loving another, and fall from the Order. And there are others who keep such unions secret."
--> '''Exile''': "I think it's called 'pulling a Bindo."
--> '''Handmaiden''': "Pulling... a Bindo?"
--> '''Exile''': "Bad joke, bald guy, long story."

* "Well, it is isn't the one who stole the Ebon hawk. Not so smug now, are you, you little thief?"

-->'''Atton''': "Just so you Jedi know, the whole "cryptic routine" isn't mysterious, it's just irritating. If you really ''can'' see the future, you should be at the pazaak table."\\
'''Exile''': "But to know the future, one must know yourself."\\
'''Atton''': "What was that, some kind of joke? That's what I'm talking about. "Jedi talk". You two should start your own little Jedi Academy."\\
'''Exile''': "But to teach, one must be willing to learn."\\
'''Atton''': "All right, all right! Cut it out, I get it, I get it! The last Jedi in the galaxy, I get the comedian who runs around in her underwear. Not that I'm complaining. Most Jedi wouldn't know a joke if it crawled up their lightsabers."

-->'''Kreia:''' I have had enough of this – I will be in my chambers.
-->'''Atton:''' Yeah, me, too. I'll be in my chambers. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall But since I don't have any, I guess I'll just go to the cockpit like I always do.]]

-->'''Atton''': Need any company? I mean, I'm not doing anything. Besides, if I'm not around to bail you out of trouble, who knows what might happen. (the Exile walks past him) All right, then. Where are we going again? I mean, because last time, we were heading towards this mining colony on the edge of space, and there was this Sith Lord, and...

--> '''Atton''': Did anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very.'
--> '''Bao-Dur''': I think he wanted us to give up the General to his poorly-trained collection of bounty hunters.
--> '''Atton''': Ah, well that should explain it. Which one do you want?
--> '''Bao-Dur''': I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim rather than shoot us when he had the chance.]]

-->'''Atton''': ''[Chuckling]'' Lemme shoot him in the back! No one has to know.
--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. ''Restrain yourself.'' Besides, [[ByNoIMeanYes a blaster would be unnecessary when a nerve strike to his neck would incapacitate him painfully without inflicting any lasting harm]].
--> '''Atton''': ''[Bemused]'' Point taken.

--> '''Atton:''' Trust me, we're not going to go anywhere near the place unless we want to be washing the stink out of our clothes for the next few years.
--> '''Disciple:''' It might take longer than that for some of us.
--> '''Handmaiden:''' That bad? I didn't think anything could compel you to bathe.
--> '''Atton:''' You spent all day thinking up that joke? Maybe you and Bao-Dur should start a circus.
--> '''Bao-Dur:''' [[TheComicallySerious I fail to understand the reference, though I doubt your explanation would prove worthwhile.]]

[[folder:T3-M4]]

[[folder:HK-47]]

--->'''HK:''' Oh hello there, little T3 unit. I am HK-47, protocol and translation droid.
--->'''T3:''' Beep? Beep deet? (Roughly, "Are you all right?")
--->'''HK:''' Of course I am all right. Why wouldn't I be?

-->'''HK''': (''after G0-T0 regards him as if they've met previously'') Query: Have we had the misfortune to meet before? I believe I would remember one as large as you.
-->'''HK''': (''in a later conversation, after [[spoiler: he pulls a BigDamnHeroes moment and saves Bao-Dur's remote from G0-T0's interference in Malachor V]]'') Correction: One could rust listening to your speeches, fat one. Perhaps it is the large, unwieldy vocabulator within your moon-sized frame that prevents your calculations from taking me into account.

[[folder:HK-50]]

--> '''HK-50 #1''': Dismissive Answer: We do not know. It is not important.
--> '''HK-50 #2''': Timid Theory: Perhaps the humans simply liked being underground. They are strange that way.
--> ''The rest of the HK's turn to look at the HK that just spoke''
--> '''HK-50 #2''': It is merely a theory.
--> '''HK-50 #1''': Irritated Statement: That is the least probable theory in the galaxy. Perhaps it is time you received a memory wipe.
--> '''HK-50 #2''': Defensive Statement: The theory is no less valid than ''your'' theories. In the lack of evidence, I defend my position.

--> '''Mira''': But if... if I become a Jedi, I'll have to turn myself in for the credits.
--> '''Exile''': Well, all the more reason to start. Gotta let that bounty build up.

[[folder:G0-T0]]

-->'''G0-T0:''' Amendment 1695-30 of the Khoonda Civil Code allows us to sell you into slavery.
-->'''Jorran:''' What?! That's ridiculous!
-->'''G0-T0:''' Paragraph 12: Salvageable items include organic matter incapable of leaving the boundaries of the salvage area.
-->'''Jorran:''' You wouldn't!
-->'''G0-T0:''' A male human such as yourself would fetch approximately 500 credits on the auction block on Nar Shadaa. Therefore, I suggest you sell your goods for a sum 500 credits less than your initial figure.

-->'''Mira:''' You want me to do it? Why can't you do it?
-->'''Exile:''' You're right. You're probably not Vogga's type.
-->'''Mira:''' Oh, so it gonna be like that? Fine. I will do it. I'm not gonna back down from a challenge like that.

--->'''Twi'lek:''' No offense, but Vogga generally likes his dancers younger.
--->'''Kreia:''' (''in a voice that combines snark with irritation'') None taken.

--->'''Czerka employee''': T1-N1? What are you doing out here? You're not supposed to leave the mainframe. I think someone makes a memory wipe.
--->'''T1-N1''': (while shooting the man) Yeaaaargh!
--->'''Czerka employee No. 2''': What the...? (is gunned down too)
** Also, you can talk to the Duros who maintains B-4D4, and what follows is B-4D4 pointing out that it undergoes memory wipes a lot more than normal. Almost as if he had something to hide... But of course, B-4D4 could "forget" to mention it to Jana Lorso, in exchange for, oh, let's say... 25 credits? The best part? IT WORKS.

* After returning to Telos, you can question Lieutenant Dol Grenn why did the Republic decide to let you get away, even though they had specifically requested you to stay during the duration of their investigation regarding Peragus' destruction.
--->'''Lt. Grenn''': (shrugs) Why does the Republic do anything? The head doesn't know what the feet are doing, the hands don't even know they have fingers, let alone where they are.

--> '''Exile:''' Do you think you could put some clothes on?
--> '''Handmaiden:''' It does not seem to bother you.
--> '''Exile:''' Yeah, well, I can walk around like this if I want to. This is my ship.

-->'''Thug''': Ah, so you must be the Jedi everyone's been whispering about. No more trouble with the TSF, I hope?
-->'''Exile''': Can I help you?
-->'''Thug''': Perhaps you don't know who I am?
-->'''Exile''': (one of the following) [[SmallNameBigEgo Can't say I do. / Someone with an inflated view of himself? / You seem to be of the opinion that I care]].

-->'''Mandalorian sentry''': We claimed this moon decades ago when we reforged ourselves after Exar Kun's defeat. Some of us call it home. Why are you trespassing here?
-->'''Exile''': I was thinking of starting a Czerka office here. I sense a lot of untapped potential.
-->'''Mandalorian sentry''': That was a joke, right? It'll be interesting to see how long you keep your sense of humour - here.

* "Are you an angel? Aw, I'm just kidding. That's the worst line I've ever used. [[ThePhantomMenace Hope some poor kid doesn't start using it.]]"

* (regarding Kreia, who's just got her hand cut) "Are you blind? If I were her, I'd be screaming like a stuck mynock. Well, I mean a very strong, manly mynock."

--->'''Atton''': "Just so you Jedi know, the whole "cryptic routine" isn't mysterious, it's just irritating. If you really ''can'' see the future, you should be at the pazaak table."\\

** (after the Exile tells him she's found some clothing) "''Dammit''. I mean...good, good to hear it. No sense in you running around half-naked. It's... it's distracting. [[BlatantLies I mean, for the droids]]."
* (after being told he just entered a ship full of Sith Assassins) "You two are the worst Jedi I've ever met!"

--->No, I don't. Go back to your training. I'll call you if I need someone useless.

--->'''Atton''': Need any company? I mean, I'm not doing anything. Besides, if I'm not around to bail you out of trouble, who knows what might happen. (the Exile walks past him) All right, then. Where are we going again? I mean, because last time, we were heading towards this mining colony on the edge of space, and there was this Sith Lord, and...

** A vision of him in the tomb on Korriban:
--->'''HK''': [[ColdHam Staaaatmeeent: Aaaapathy is deeeeaaaath.]]

--->'''Opa Chono:''' Fine! Here! [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Blackmailed by a droid]]...

--->'''Kreia''': (disparagingly) Don't be a ''fool"'. ''Atris'' stole the ship ''and'' the droid.\\

--->'''Kreia''': Don't be a fool. ''Atris'' stole the ship ''and'' the droid.\\

* "Are you blind? If I were her, I'd be screaming like a stuck mynock. Well, I mean a very strong, manly mynock."

** (after the Exile tells him she's found some clothing) "''Dammit''. I mean...good, good to hear it. No sense in you running around half-naked. It's... it's distracting. I mean, for the droids."
* "You two are the worst Jedi I've ever met!"

* The Exile needs to break into Vogga the Hutt's vault to get parts to rebuild her lightsaber. To do so the idea is to have either her or another party member dance for him, then sneak in when he falls asleep. Try and get Mira and we get this exchange.

** "Well, it is isn't the one who stole the Ebon hawk. Not so smug now, are you, you little thief?"