History Funny / KingOfTheHill

30th Apr '16 2:30:53 AM NeoTerraKnight
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* In "Hank's Unmentionable Problem", Hank has to deal with constipation for over several days by going on a low-fat fiber diet. When he was shown the poster of a acupuncturist who sticks needles and sets fire on them to relieve stress, we get this gem.
-->'''Hank''': If anyone does that to me, I'll kick his ass!
** Eventually he tries it out, cue BrickJoke when he [[LiteralAssKicking literally kicks the guy's butt]] for doing that to him despite Hank going there ''on his free will and aware of the procedure''! Even if it is DisproportionateRetribution, Hank ''really'' means it that he'll kick ass on even mundane reasons.
24th Apr '16 3:29:41 PM romanatorX
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Bill: There's no one but us? But what about Aunt Esthme and Cousin Violetta?
Gilbert: Aunt Esthme died of fever, Violetta died suddenly in her sleep - the swamp takes what it calls its own. Let me tell you of our ill-fated kin: (points at people in an old family photograph) consumption, drink, impostor, madhouse, public madhouse, barren, barren, barren - well, pretty much this whole left side. Leaving only us.

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---> Bill: There's no one but us? But what about Aunt Esthme and Cousin Violetta?
---> Gilbert: Aunt Esthme died of fever, Violetta died suddenly in her sleep - the swamp takes what it calls its own. Let me tell you of our ill-fated kin: (points at people in an old family photograph) consumption, drink, impostor, madhouse, public madhouse, barren, barren, barren - well, pretty much this whole left side. Leaving only us.
2nd Apr '16 12:25:00 PM maxwellsilver
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--> '''Hank:''' What you listening to, son?
--> '''Bobby:''' I don't think you'll like it.
--> '''Hank:''' Well, why not? I like this new generation of music.
--> ''[Hank puts on Bobby's headphones.]''
--> '''Headphone Noise''': ''(phone ringing)'' Hell-oooooo! ''(elongated farting)''
--> '''Hank:''' Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where'd you record this?
--> '''Bobby''': I got it from the mall. It's ''The Funny Phone Jerks''.
--> '''Hank:''' Let me tell you, Bobby. There's ''nothing'' funny about these sounds. What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder.

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--> ---> '''Hank:''' What you listening to, son?
--> ---> '''Bobby:''' I don't think you'll like it.
--> ---> '''Hank:''' Well, why not? I like this new generation of music.
--> ---> ''[Hank puts on Bobby's headphones.]''
--> ---> '''Headphone Noise''': ''(phone ringing)'' Hell-oooooo! ''(elongated farting)''
--> ---> '''Hank:''' Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where'd you record this?
--> ---> '''Bobby''': I got it from the mall. It's ''The Funny Phone Jerks''.
--> ---> '''Hank:''' Let me tell you, Bobby. There's ''nothing'' funny about these sounds. What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder.



--> '''Social Worker:''' Would you say your husband has a temper?
--> '''Peggy:''' Who, Hank? No, Hank is as gentle as a lamb.
--> ''[Hank throws open the door and storms in]''
--> '''Hank:''' God dangit!! No more bouncing that ball!!
--> ''[grabs baseball Bobby is throwing at the wall and throws it out the door, almost hitting the social worker]''
--> '''Peggy:''' Hank, we have a visitor.

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--> ---> '''Social Worker:''' Would you say your husband has a temper?
--> ---> '''Peggy:''' Who, Hank? No, Hank is as gentle as a lamb.
--> ---> ''[Hank throws open the door and storms in]''
--> ---> '''Hank:''' God dangit!! No more bouncing that ball!!
--> ---> ''[grabs baseball Bobby is throwing at the wall and throws it out the door, almost hitting the social worker]''
--> ---> '''Peggy:''' Hank, we have a visitor.
29th Mar '16 11:17:15 PM DaneYoussef
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--> '''Bobby:''' "I shall call him VANDOR!"

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--> '''Bobby:''' "I shall call him VANDOR!"'VANDOR'!"
--> '''Peggy:''' "You will call him 'Winklebottom!"



* In ''Plastic White Female'', after getting fed up with Bobby using Luanne's test model head to practice talking with girls, Hank slices it in half and completely forgets Luanne needed the head for her test. He can only reply with a sheepish smile...and gets forced to be Luanne's test model head in her test the next day. She at first gets an F by her {{Jerkass}} instructor for not bringing the real deal, until Hank shows the teacher what she did right and what she did wrong on his haircut.

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* In ''Plastic White Female'', after getting fed up with Bobby using Luanne's test model head to practice talking with girls, Hank slices it in half and completely forgets Luanne needed the head for her test. He can only reply with a sheepish smile...and gets forced to be Luanne's test model head in her test the next day. She at first gets an F "F" by her {{Jerkass}} instructor for not bringing the real deal, until Hank shows the teacher what she did right and what she did wrong on his haircut.



* "[Bobby] looks like the kid on the paint can!"

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* "[Bobby] looks like the kid on the paint can!"can!" (referring to the "Little Dutch Boy."



* From "Blood and Sauce": Hank calling Gilbert out for yelling at Bill with this line, "I keep hearing about the 'Dauterive pride', but all I see are a crying drunk and an angry sissy."

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* From "Blood and Sauce": Hank calling Gilbert out for yelling at Bill with this line, "I keep hearing about the 'Dauterive pride', but all I see are a crying drunk and an angry sissy." If you've got any real pride, stop kicking a man when he's down! You wanna talk more about this, you and I will do it outside!"



** When Bill calls for his entire clan to come visit him to keep him company, Gilbert comes... and no one else does.
Bill: There's no one but us? But what about Aunt Esthme and Cousin Violetta?
Gilbert: Aunt Esthme died of fever, Violetta died suddenly in her sleep - the swamp takes what it calls its own. Let me tell you of our ill-fated kin: (points at people in an old family photograph) consumption, drink, impostor, madhouse, public madhouse, barren, barren, barren - well, pretty much this whole left side. Leaving only us.



* Kahn and Minh are listening in on the Hills in "The Incredible Hank".

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* Kahn and Minh are watching and listening in on the Hills feuding on their lawn in "The Incredible Hank".
29th Mar '16 10:58:09 PM DaneYoussef
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--> '''Hank:''' No, I ''don't'' know anything about gnomes. I AM NOT A ''DORK''!

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--> '''Hank:''' No, I ''don't'' know anything about gnomes. I AM NOT A ''DORK''!''DORK''! I SELL PROPANE!
23rd Mar '16 9:15:54 AM themisterfree
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* '''Dale''': Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me.

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* '''Dale''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeWtKVV9hG0 Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me.]]
** A lot of stuff in that episode is just comic gold. Especially Dale's stuff. "Given what I know about Bill, and cover-ups, I'd say he was used in the Army's attempted assassination of boxing promoter Bob Arum." And later on, he takes the tank Bill stole and squashes Kahn's new SUV with it.



-->'''Newspaper''': According to the sherriff's department, one of the unexpected dangers of the smoking brouhaha is the possibility of copycat Smoking Bandits all over town.
-->'''Sheriff''': This could turn out to be a Snowball effect. Now I know a lot of you folks down here in Texas probably don't actually know what a snowball is, or what sort of effect it as, so I'll try to explain. See, a snowball is really just a small ball made up of snow, which is this cold white stuff that the folks up north are always complaining about. But, it's actually kind of fun once in a while, if you just remember that the snowball is more afraid of you then you are of it."

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-->'''Newspaper''': According to the sherriff's sheriff's department, one of the unexpected dangers of the smoking brouhaha is the possibility of copycat Smoking Bandits all over town.
-->'''Sheriff''': This could turn out to be a Snowball effect. [[DerailedForDetails Now I know a lot of you folks down here in Texas probably don't actually know what a snowball is, or what sort of effect it as, so I'll try to explain. explain.]] [[{{Metaphorgotten}} See, a snowball is really just a small ball made up of snow, which is this cold white stuff that the folks up north are always complaining about. But, it's actually kind of fun once in a while, if you just remember that the snowball is more afraid of you then you are of it."]]"



** The set-up for the episode is that the guys are in trouble with the fire chief. Cue this exchange

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** The set-up for the episode is that the guys are in trouble with the fire chief. Cue this exchangeexchange when the chief tells them they might face charges:



** The news that Chet Elderson died. That's not the funny part as much as the mens reactions.

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** The news that Chet Elderson died. That's not the funny part as much as the mens men's reactions.



---> '''Heck:''' *looking up and seeing Bill's ass sticking out from the fire pole area* Oh for crying out loud!

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---> '''Heck:''' *looking up and seeing Bill's ass sticking out from the fire pole area* Oh Oh, for crying out loud!



* Every time Dale closes his eyes, he sees strange characters chasing colorful geometric shapes in a dark infinite limbo. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUlK2pPdU38&feature=related He has stopped closing his eyes.]]

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* Every time Dale closes his eyes, he sees strange characters chasing colorful geometric shapes in a dark infinite limbo. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUlK2pPdU38&feature=related He has stopped closing his eyes.]] eyes.



* After one of Dale's ramblings Hank says "Did you mean to put all those words in that order or did they just fall out like that?"

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* After one of Dale's ramblings in "Dale to the Chief", Hank says "Did you mean to put all those words in that order or did they just fall out like that?"



-->'''Dale''': You know, all Hank needs to wear is a monocle to be Mr. Peanuts.

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-->'''Dale''': You know, all Hank needs to wear is a monocle to be Mr. Peanuts.Peanut.



** He was holding it in all episode and just let it all out. By the end, he's out of breath and ready to collapse.

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** He Dale was holding it in all episode and just let it all out. By the end, he's out of breath and ready to collapse.



** The ending to the episode, where Hank and Bobby scare Dale with the new ventriloquist's dummy fashioned after Bobby through his CCTV camera, Dale screams in panic and chloroforms himself again.

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** The ending to the episode, where Hank and Bobby scare Dale with the new ventriloquist's dummy fashioned after Bobby through his CCTV camera, camera (which alerts him of a "perimeter breach" in Dale's voice), Dale screams in panic and chloroforms himself again.


Added DiffLines:

** Whenever we see Dale's crazy equipment or procedures around his house- like when Hank tried to turn off the TV in "The Texas Skillsaw Massacre", and [[StuffBlowingUp an explosion erupts]]. "There goes the mailbox." Turns out, Dale rigged his ''and'' Hank's mailboxes to explode for some reason.
20th Feb '16 4:00:25 PM Delphi
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* "He's already got the black vote. Earl. And the gay vote. Earl."

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* "He's already got the black vote. Earl. [[TwoferTokenMinority And the gay vote. Earl.""]]
** Gets a call back later in the episode when Earl declares "There's only one man I'd take a bullet for, and he's at home making my supper!"



-->'''Dale:''' (Calmly) Hmm...Itching, burning, burning...more itching...tingling...blindness...itching, itching, burning...''intense'' burning...Hank, get your hose. (Screams)

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-->'''Dale:''' (Calmly) Hmm...Itching, burning, burning...more itching...tingling...blindness...itching, itching, burning...''intense'' burning...Hank, get your hose. (Screams)(Screams) NOW!



'''Bobby''': Plus, I wanna be the first chubby comic to live past thirty-five!

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'''Bobby''': Plus, I wanna be the first chubby comic to live past thirty-five!
[[Creator/JohnBelushi live]] [[Creator/JohnCandy past]] [[Creator/ChrisFarley thirty-five!]]
3rd Jan '16 4:55:30 PM CatcherInTheWry
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Added DiffLines:

*The Newspaper article from the Smoking Bandit:
-->'''Newspaper''': According to the sherriff's department, one of the unexpected dangers of the smoking brouhaha is the possibility of copycat Smoking Bandits all over town.
-->'''Sheriff''': This could turn out to be a Snowball effect. Now I know a lot of you folks down here in Texas probably don't actually know what a snowball is, or what sort of effect it as, so I'll try to explain. See, a snowball is really just a small ball made up of snow, which is this cold white stuff that the folks up north are always complaining about. But, it's actually kind of fun once in a while, if you just remember that the snowball is more afraid of you then you are of it."
12th Nov '15 1:48:32 PM speedyboris
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* In "High Anxiety", after Hank's been nervous about being arrested for accidentally smoking pot:
--> '''Hank''': I want you to promise me you won't ''ever'' do drugs, Bobby.\\
'''Bobby''': I promise.\\
'''Hank''': ''(distraught)'' A promise means nothing when a junkie tricks you into smoking a joint, when you think it's a cigarette, which you shouldn't smoke ''either'', now promise me!\\
'''Bobby''': Okay, I promise!\\
'''Hank''': ''(morose)'' Promises mean nothing.\\
'''Bobby''': ''(firmly)'' Dad, I'm not gonna do drugs, 'cause drugs are for losers.\\
'''Hank''': ''(guiltily)'' Ugh...\\
'''Bobby''': Plus, I wanna be the first chubby comic to live past thirty-five!
7th Nov '15 9:33:09 AM Miracle@StOlaf
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Added DiffLines:

* "Hey, Gribble... I can see your dad's junk."
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