History Funny / JingleAllTheWay

'''Liz:''' ''(Smiling widely)'' What did you get ''me''?

'''Howard:''' What?\\
'''Liz:''' ''(Smiling widely)'' What did you get ''me''?//
-->''The camera zooms in on Howard's OhCrap face, complete with same dramatic {{Sting}} from the beginning of the film.''

''The camera zooms in on Howard's OhCrap face, complete with same dramatic {{Sting}} from the beginning of the film.''

''[The camera zooms in on Howard's OhCrap face, complete with same dramatic {{Sting}} from the beginning of the film.]''

'''Liz:''' ''(Smiling widely)'' [[WhamLine What did you get ''me''?]]

'''Liz:''' ''(Smiling widely)'' [[WhamLine What did you get ''me''?\\]]

'''Liz:''' ''(Smiling widely)'' What did you get ''me''?\\

* This exchange, which starts off a normal but becomes funnier later on:
-->'''Ted:''' Merry Christmas. Langston residence!\\
'''Howard:''' Hi, I-- Ted?\\
'''Ted:''' Howard! Hey, buddy! How's it going out there? Everything okay?\\
'''Howard:''' Yeah, fine. Uh, Ted I need to speak to Liz. Uh, could you get...\\
'''Ted:''' Mmm. Ohhh. Howard, excuse me. But your wife's cookies are out of this world.\\
'''Howard:''' What uh-- Who told you you could eat ''MY'' cookies?!\\
'''Ted:''' I'm just helping Liz out a little in the kitchen. She's baking up a storm here.\\
'''Howard:''' Ted, I need to speak to my wife. So could you get her on the phone, please?\\

''[Ted is disappointed]''\\

-->''A kid gets the last numbered ball, Howard chases him through one of those [=McDonald's=]-style jungle gyms and eventually gets mauled by mothers who pound him with their purses while he protests, unforgettably, ''"[[MistakenForPedophile I'm not a pervert]]! I yust vas looking vor a [=TurboMan=] toy!"

** The giant Santa accidentally punching a midget Santa that's attacking Howard, sending him flying backward while [[BigNo yelling "NO!"]] Said giant Santa is absolutely horrified at what he's just done too ("Little buddy!") To top it all off, the giant Santa is played by [[Wrestling/TheBigShow Paul "The Giant" Wight]].

* Howard causes a housefire by toppling a small statue of one of the Three Wise Men over, causing his head to land in the fire. And while Howard tris to put the fire out and deal with the rampaging reindeer, he kicks said flaming head through the window scaring all the carollers away. The kicker is the abolsutely heartbroken way Ted points out what just flew threw his window.

* And to close off the RunningGag: the same policeman from before shows up to thank Turbo Man for his heroic deeds, only to see that Turbo Man is Howard. The same Howard who he pulled over for speeding, who knocked over his police bike and knocked off his mirror, who was found right in the middle of a bomb scare at a radio station and who a half hour or so ago knocked him over, scalding the poor cop accidentally with boiling hot coffee, and who just saved the day. Naturally said cop [[OhCrap can only gape in shock.]]

** The hilarious montage of Howard trying and failing many times to locate and buy a [=TurboMan=] doll. [[SoundtrackDissonance All set to upbeat Christmas music]] such as the song "[[TitleDrop Jingle All The Way]]". One of the sequences shows a store clerk and his assistant fake pity on Howard and offer him a [=TurboMan=]'s sidekick Booster toy to buy instead before bursting into laughter.

** Howard chasing after the customer, who successfully gets away.

'''Howard:''' '''[[MemeticMutation PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!]] ''NOW!!!'''''

'''Howard:''' '''PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN! ''NOW!!!'''''

* Howard cause sa housefire by toppling a small statue of one of the Three Wise Men over, causing his head to land in the fire. And while Howard tris to put the fire out and deal with the rampaging reindeer, he kicks said flaming head through the window scaring all the carollers away. The kicker is the abolsutely heartbroken way Ted points out what just flew threw his window.

-->'''Police Chife:''' Just can't stay out of trouble, can you?

'''Mall Santa:''' [[BaitAndSwitchComment No, chocolate kisses. Yes, dollars!]]

** The giant Santa accidentally punching a midget Santa that's attacking Howard, sending him flying backward while [[BigNo yelling "NO!"]]
* Howard's BavarianFireDrill against the cops who storm the warehouse.

* Howard desperately trying to put out the fire he inadvertently causes inside Ted's house, culminating with him kicking something out of the window that lands in front of a bunch of carolers.

* "It's Turbo ti-iiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiime!"

* During the warehouse fight, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWyeugspkUA&t=0m42s one Santa]] approaches wielding nunchakus and making all sorts of "Hwaaa" noises as he shows off his moves. After a few seconds of this, an annoyed Howard says "Shut up!" and smacks him in the face with a giant candy cane.

-->'''Myron:''' See I have to shop late because it's the busiest time of the year for me. All these ''important'' Christmas letters that people send to folks they don't even talk to but once a year! Not to mention, relatives sending presents they gon' have to send back anyway. How many toiletry kits does a man need? Then all of those ''stupid'' letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole! "Dear Santa, could you send me a bike and a Slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off! And as if I didn't have enough pressure in my life. My son sends me out for some like goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named "Turtle Man."\\

'''Myron:''' No, you got these big fat cats sit there using working class stiffs like me and you! ''They spend'' billions of dollars on TV advertisements, and then they sit there and use a subliminal message to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talkin' about, because I went to junior college for a semester, and I studied psychology, so I'm right in there! I know what's going on! And then, they sit there and make your kid feel like garbage, as you the father, who's workin' 24/7 delivering mail so you can an make alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office ''but me''! And then when you get the toy and it breaks and you can't fix it because it's it's little cheap plastic! You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office, grab one of those guys ''[grabs a random woman]'' and just choke him, choke him until his eye pops out! ''[Myron comes to his senses after crowd protests]'' ...Shouldn't wear fur.

'''Howard:''' Yeah, fine. Uh, I need to speak to Liz. Could you get...\\

'''Howard:''' Wha-- Who told you you could eat ''MY'' cookies?!\\

'''Ted:''' I think she's in the shower, Howard. ''[smiles brightly]'' Want me to go check?\\

'''Howard:''' '''PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN! ''NOW!!!'''''"

* Myron's rant in his first scene. Howard eventually holds a hand up to his ear.
-->'''Myron:''' I'm late because it's the busiest time of the year for me. Christmas letters people send to folks they don't even talk to but once a year! And relatives sending gifts they'll send back anyway. How many toiletry kits does a man need? Then what? Stupid letters from kids to Santa! "Dear Santa, can you send me a bike and a Slinky?" No! Your father's laid off! As if I didn't have enough pressure in my life, my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named "Turtle Man."\\
'''Howard:''' [=TurboMan=]. My son wants one too.\\

'''Howard:''' Huh?\\
'''Myron:''' Man, where have you been? Don't you watch TV?! We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cartels! These fat cats use the working class, like me and you! They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisements and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talkin' about, because I went to junior college, and I studied psychology for a semester, so I know what's going on! I'm right in there! And then, they make a kid feel like garbage if you, the father, who's workin' 24/7 delivering mail to make alimony payments to a woman who slept with everyone at the office but ''me''! And then when you get the toy and it breaks and you can't fix it because it's pieces of little cheap plastic! You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office, grab one of those guys ''[grabs a random woman]'' and choke him until his eyes pop out! ''[Myron comes to his senses after crowd protests]'' ...Shouldn't wear fur.

* When Howard asks a toy store employee if they have any more [=TurboMan=] action figures, the employee dissolves into laughter, then repeats Howard's question to a co-worker, who bursts into hysterical laughter, much to Howard's annoyance. Everyone else in the store then starts laughing at Howard and Myron, with the two employees mockingly remarking on the men's lack of foresight. Myron even yells "Shut up!" in response.

* Howard getting maced by Myron. "Ha-ha, I gaht it!" ''*sss!*'' "AAAAAAGGGHHH! HE MACED MEEE!!"
** And after that: "HE'S GOT TWOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S GOT TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

-->'''Mall Santa:''' Five hundred.\\

'''Mall Santa:''' [[BaitAndSwitchComment No, Hershey's kisses. Yes, dollars!]]

-->'''Howard:''' You guys come BARGING in here like a bunch of terrorists at a tea party! Get your acts together! And go arrest someone!

-->'''Police Chief:''' See here folks? All we have here is a ''harmless'' little present. ''[Tears the wrapping paper from the gift; suddenly *BOOM* explosion happens]''

** Thankfully, the senior police officer who had carelessly opened the package after declaring that it's not a bomb from his analysis and years on the bomb squad is only [[AshFace covered in soot and ruffled up with his glasses cracked]], but his men aren't quick to let him live down the mistake:
--->"Sir, ''how'' many years were you on the bomb squad?"

'''Booster:''' ''(trying to fend of the group of kids dog piling him)'' Hey! You kids! Get off your paws off me!

* During the warehouse fight, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWyeugspkUA&t=0m42s one Santa]] approaches wielding [[FightingWithChucks nunchakus]] and making all sorts of "Hwaaa" noises as he shows off his moves. After a few seconds of this, an annoyed Howard says "Shut up!" and smacks him in the face with a giant candy cane.

-->'''Howard:''' ''[runs outside of the building, stops abruptly in his tracks when he hears the bomb go off, [[OhCrap the look on his face]] [[WideEyesShrunkenIrises is priceless]]]''

-->'''Howard:''' ''[runs outside of the building, stops abruptly in his tracks when he hears the bomb go off, [[OhCrap the look on his face]] [[WideEyesShrukenIrises is priceless]]]''

* Meta: The TBS airing in 2021 which accidentally ended the movie early. After Howard's line "I think I'm getting the hang of thiiiis!", [[LeftHanging it suddenly cuts to the end credits.]] A Twitter user who recorded it added his own commentary when this happened: "And, done."

-->'''Myron:''' ''[after the explosion]'' [[AccidentalTruth That was really a bomb]]? This is a ''sick'' world we live in! Sick people!

* TheStinger ending:
--> '''Liz''': I've been thinking. Everything you went through today shows how much you love Jamie. And if you're willing to go through all of that just for a present... that makes me wonder...\\
'''Howard''': What?\\
'''Liz''': ''(smiling widely)'' What did you get ''me''?\\
''(camera zooms in on Howard's OhCrap face, complete with same dramatic {{Sting}} from the beginning of the film)''