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--> Vickie: Look Jerry. For your information, I have lost a considerable amount of weight.
--> Lawler: You've lost weight? *glances at Vickie's backside* Look around. I think you'll find it.
--> Lawler: I can't help it that you're the only WWE Diva whose bathtub has stretchmarks.
--> Lawler: John, did you know that when God said "Let there be light", he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first?

to:

--> Vickie: '''Vickie''': Look Jerry. For your information, I have lost a considerable amount of weight.
--> Lawler: '''Lawler''': You've lost weight? *glances at Vickie's backside* Look around. I think you'll find it.
--> Lawler: '''Lawler''': I can't help it that you're the only WWE Diva whose bathtub has stretchmarks.
--> Lawler: '''Lawler''': John, did you know that when God said "Let there be light", he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first?



--> Jerry Lawler: Tell me J.R., how do you like your Undertaker? Regular, or extra crispy?\\
Jim Ross: That's not even funny.

to:

--> Jerry Lawler: '''Jerry Lawler''': Tell me J.R., how do you like your Undertaker? Regular, or extra crispy?\\
Jim Ross: '''Jim Ross''': That's not even funny.



-->'''Lawler:''' I wish they'd quit talking politics!

to:

-->'''Lawler:''' I wish they'd quit talking politics!politics!
----
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None


"My two favorite things about a woman are the left one and the right one."

to:

"My two favorite things about a woman are the left one and the right one.""
* In the middle of President Bill Clinton's "Zippergate" debacle, Jerry couldn't resist a quip during Al Snow's "head" routine.
-->'''Al:''' What does everybody want?
-->'''Crowd:''' Head!
-->'''Al:''' What does everybody need?
-->'''Crowd:''' Head!
-->'''Al:''' What does everybody love?
-->'''Crowd:''' Head!
-->'''Lawler:''' I wish they'd quit talking politics!
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Removal of misused wicks


--> Jerry Lawler: Tell me J.R., how do you like your Undertaker? Regular, or extra crispy?
--> Jim Ross: That's not even funny.
* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was ''[[WhatanIdiot cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee]]''), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?

to:

--> Jerry Lawler: Tell me J.R., how do you like your Undertaker? Regular, or extra crispy?
-->
crispy?\\
Jim Ross: That's not even funny.
* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was ''[[WhatanIdiot cost ''cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee]]''), referee''), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?



-->"My two favorite kinds of women are 'domestic' and 'imported'."
-->"My two favorite things about a woman are the left one and the right one."

to:

-->"My two favorite kinds of women are 'domestic' and 'imported'."
-->"My
"\\
"My
two favorite things about a woman are the left one and the right one."
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None

Added DiffLines:

** There's also the fact that Lawler was in the middle of a sentence when his music hit. He immediately took off his headset, stepped into the ring, got knocked out of the ring, put his headset back on, and finished the sentence.
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Dewicking per TRS decision.


* Forget the "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw-dGGIxwl4 puppies]]"; what about how nuts King went whenever someone showed their rear end for whatever reason (especially [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NUVZnH9GJ8#t=3m15s Vince McMahon]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NUVZnH9GJ8#t=6m50s Triple H]])? Kind of makes you [[BiTheWay wonder]], doesn't it?

to:

* Forget the "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw-dGGIxwl4 puppies]]"; what about how nuts King went whenever someone showed their rear end for whatever reason (especially [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NUVZnH9GJ8#t=3m15s Vince McMahon]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NUVZnH9GJ8#t=6m50s Triple H]])? Kind of makes you [[BiTheWay wonder]], wonder, doesn't it?
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* His reaction during ''WWF Armageddon 1999'' when [[Characters/WWEDivas Miss Kitty (Stacy Carter, to whom he was actually married at the time]]) exposed her breasts on live television. The high-pitched screams implied he'd never even seen a pair of breasts before.

to:

* His reaction during ''WWF Armageddon 1999'' when [[Characters/WWEDivas [[Wrestling/StacyCarter Miss Kitty (Stacy Carter, to whom he was actually married at the time]]) exposed her breasts on live television. The high-pitched screams implied he'd never even seen a pair of breasts before.
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None

Added DiffLines:

** The noise he makes as he flies back over the ropes is hilarious.
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Added DiffLines:

** The best part? Helen herself thought the jokes were hilarious, which is the only reason Wrestling/BretHart was willing to let them slide.
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* The opening of his match with Michael Cole at WrestleMania. Cole take shelter in his "Cole Mine" and tries to placate King with a handshake. King accepts...and then promptly refuses to let go, pulling Cole's arm and slamming his face into the Cole Mine repeatedly. The looks on Cole's face really sell it.

to:

* The opening of his match with Michael Cole at WrestleMania.Wrestling/WrestleMania. Cole take shelter in his "Cole Mine" and tries to placate King with a handshake. King accepts...and then promptly refuses to let go, pulling Cole's arm and slamming his face into the Cole Mine repeatedly. The looks on Cole's face really sell it.
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** Bonus points go to JimRoss for playing the OnlySaneMan throughout the segment.

to:

** Bonus points go to JimRoss Wrestling/JimRoss for playing the OnlySaneMan throughout the segment.
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* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was [[WhatanIdiot/cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee]]), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?

to:

* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was [[WhatanIdiot/cost ''[[WhatanIdiot cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee]]), referee]]''), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?
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None


* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?

to:

* After recovering from his heart attack, Jerry proved he was still quick witted, and had a tremendous sense of humour during a match between Brad Maddox and Ryback. As a visibly shaking Maddox walked to the ring like a condemned man walking the last mile (since, you know, all he did was cost [[WhatanIdiot/cost Ryback the WWE Title as a crooked referee), referee]]), we hear sirens blaring throughout the arena, and an ambulance backed into place next to the entrance ramp. Jerry's reaction?
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None


** We'd be remiss if we didn't include this gem:

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