History Funny / GrandTheftAutoIVTheLostAndDamned

-->'''Johnny:''' How come all the Slavs in this city wear Shady track suits, man?\\

'''Johnny''': So you want me to go put the fear of the The Lord in [[AcceptableProfessionalTargets a lawyer]]? And [[QuestGiver you're gonna pay me]] for it? Shit, Dave, [[EvilLawyerJoke why didn't you say so in the first place]]?\\

'''Johnny''': So you want me to go put the fear of the The Lord in [[AcceptableProfessionalTargets a lawyer]]? And [[QuestGiver you're gonna pay me]] for it? Shit, Dave, [[EvilLawyerJoke why didn't you say so in the first place]]?
---> '''Dave''': Solid, man.

---> '''Dave''': I'm a [[AmoralAttorney lawyer]], and I'm getting [[{{Irony}} ass-raped by the law]]! Can you imagine what that feels like?
---> '''Johnny''': [[DeadpanSnarker Mercifully not]].
---> '''Dave''': Look, all I need for you is to intimidate her lawyer. Just make him get her to back down, man.
---> '''Johnny''': So you want me to go put the fear of the The Lord in [[AcceptableProfessionalTargets a lawyer]]? And [[QuestGiver you're gonna pay me]] for it? Shit, Dave, [[EvilLawyerJoke why didn't you say so in the first place]]?

--->'''Johnny:''' How come all the Slavs in this city wear Shady track suits, man?\\

--->'''Johnny:''' Malc, tell this gentleman what my kind of people do to guys who try to buy their way out.\\

---> ''When jacking a car:'' "Time to start car shoppin'!" "If you would be so kind, sir."
---> ''Running over a pedestrian:'' "That's gonna come back to bite me on the ass, karmicly speakin'." "IT'S NOT YOUR DAY!"
---> ''Shooting someone:'' "When words just aren't enough..."
---> ''When his car dies:'' "C'mon, start for Johnny." ([[AsideComment Apparently directed at the player]]): "Good for you. You wrecked it."
---> ''Pointing a gun at someone:'' "How's ''your'' day goin'?"
---> ''After a random act of violence:'' "What is ''wrong'' with me!?"

--->'''Leavis:''' ''(as Johnny walks in)'' Do you have an appointment?\\

--->'''Johnny:''' Malc, tell this gentleman what my kind of people do two guys to try to buy their way out.\\

'''Johnny:''' ''(mocking Leavis)'' "I think you should leave, sir. Before I..." ''(back to his normal voice)'' Dude! It is the 21st century! Lemme tell you something. You've got a job, wiping rich pricks' asses and for some reason... you seem a little pleased with yourself.\\

'''Johnny:''' Trust me, man. Nothing more would please me more, but I'm supposed to see Tom Stubbs and well... he said to meet him here.\\

'''Johnny:''' Trust me, man. Nothing more would please me more, but I'm supposed to see Tom Stubbs... and he told me to meet him here.\\
'''Leavis:''' ''(becomes more accommodating)'' Oh, Mr. Stubbs, sir. Okay, you only had to say so, sir. Follow me, will you? Mr. Stubbs is in the day spa, receiving some back work.\\

'''Malc:''' just you know who you're dealing with, Mr. Bellic. This is one screwed up dumb redneck motherfucker. Hey now listen, I do mean motherfucker in the most literal sense. Serious incest motherfucker. Fucking you up the ass with a Barbwire dick would be a pleasure for this man. Yeah, this biker dude is twisted is all hell, man. By the way, how many guys you killed, son?\\

--->'''Johnny:''' how come all the Slavs in this city wear Shady track suits, man?\\
'''Roman:''' (muffled because he's speaking through a gag'') Please! Please! I'll pay you anything!\\

'''Roman:''' (muffled because he's speaking through the trunk'') Please! Please! I'll pay you anything!\\

-->'''Johnny:''' how come all the Slavs in this city wear Shady track suits, man?\\

-->'''Johnny:''' Malc, tell this gentleman what my kind of people do two guys to try to buy their way out.\\

'''Johnny:''' I think he's trying to say something, Malc.

---> ''After a random act of violence:'' "What is ''wrong'' with me!?"

---> ''When his car dies:'' "C'mon, start for Johnny." ([[AsideComment Apparently directed at the player]]): "Good for you. You wrecked it."

* The entirety of Roman's kidnapping.

---> '''Dave''': Solid, man.

* In an InternalHomage to a similar mission in [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas San Andreas]], one of the random character missions has Johnny stumbling onto Dave Grossman, one of The Lost's part-time applicants, outside the law firm where Dave works. Dave has stumbled onto some legal trouble, and he needs Johnny to bail him out. How does Johnny respond to this daunting and morally reprehensible task?

* CrowningMomentOfAwesome: The mission "Shifting Weight", despite being a rail shooter, is arguably the most exciting police chase in a ''GTA'' game yet. And then there's the final mission, "Get Lost", which sees [[spoiler: Johnny blowing open the front gates of Alderney State Correctional Facility with an RPG or grenade launcher (your choice), then storming the place with Terry and Clay to find and take out former Lost MC leader Billy Grey, who's going to go State and testify to the FB... sorry, the FIB against the Lost]].
* CrowningMusicOfAwesome: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b45dSpXDqA The main theme]]. Oh so much.
* FridgeBrilliance: The full-auto pistol is noticably weaker than even the Glock. This makes sense when you realise that this particular Glock is chambered in .40 S&W, while the full auto pistol is chambered in the smaller 9mm round
** Which leads to FridgeLogic: Walking over the dropped .40 S&W caliber Glock guns dropped by downed foes still restores handgun ammo, even if Johnny is carrying that 9mm automatic pistol. Then again, the same thing happens with the [[HandCannon combat handgun]], which is basically a .357 Desert Eagle.
* HarsherInHindsight: Billy Grey [[spoiler: gets arrested by the police after a heroin deal gone wrong with the Triads. He blames Johnny for this, which ultimately leads him to go State's Evidence against the Lost and set up the final showdown. However, ''Ballad'' reveals that Billy actually meant for the setup to kill ''Johnny'']]. Also, Billy's first action back from prison is to commit a murder on the doorstep of the Lost's clubhouse. You learn not two missions later that [[spoiler: the LCPD is watching said clubhouse]].
** [[spoiler: Actually, the LCPD was watching the Hell's Ang... err, Angels of Death hangout, and didn't start watching the Lost Clubhouse until after Billy had already killed the [=AoD=] member. Johnny and Jim killed the cops before they could do anything anyway, including report the gang's illegal activities.]]
* HighOctaneNightmareFuel: [[spoiler: Jim's torture at the hands of Ray Boccino - [[{{Squick}} mainly involving his face and a blowtorch.]]]]
* {{Narm}}: "IIIIII'll see you later!"
* TheScrappy: Brian. ''Everyone'' hates Brian.
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