History Funny / GilmoreGirls

* Kirk and Lulu now have a pet pig named Petal. Why? Because the entire town pitched in for her in order to prevent the two from having a kid.

* After going with Luke to his sister's wedding and sharing a romantic dance,Luke asks Lorelai to a movie. Lorelai agrees, but starts to freak out over the meaning of this (friendly or romantic?). She consults Rory.
--->'''Lorelai:''' It was a slow dance. A waltz. Luke can waltz.
--->'''Rory (confused):''' Luke can waltz?
--->'''Lorelai (big grin):''' Luke can ''waltz!''
--->'''Rory (disturbed):''' Look at how you just said 'Luke can waltz.'
--->'''Lorelai:''' What? I'm just saying I'm surprised that Luke can waltz.
--->'''Rory:''' That sounded more like 'I'm surprised I still have my clothes on.'

--->'''Lorelai:''' Look, let's just go back in there and see if anything's weird.
--->'''Rory:''' Okay. ''(They walk back into the diner.)''
--->'''Luke:''' Is everything okay?
--->'''Lorelai:''' Yes. ''(Collapses onto a nearby table, knocking everything to the floor.)''
--->'''Luke (calmly):''' I'll get the broom.

* After going with Luke to his sister's wedding and sharing a romantic dance,Luke asks Lorelai to a movie. Lorelai agrees, but later freaks over the possible change in their friendship and consults Rory.
-->'''Lorelai:''' It was a slow dance. A waltz. Luke can waltz.
-->'''Rory (confused):''' Luke can waltz?

--->'''Rory:''' Okay. ''(They walk back into the diner.)

* Lorelai trying to charm a park ranger and encountering a complete NoSell.

'''Troubadour's Sister'''': But I'm your sister!\\

'''Troubadour's Sister'''': Ask mom!\\
'''Troubadour''': Mom lies! You better run, little sister!

--> '''Lorelai:''' Hi. I see you've met my daughter.
--> '''Rory:''' Are you my new daddy?

--->'''Lorelai''': We were ''sixteen''! We didn't want to get married!\\

** Mrs, Kim vs the world.

** Also in this scene, when Kirk barges in, Luke tells him he should have knocked, which leads to this CallBack:
--> '''Jess''': Yeah, what if we were naked?
--> '''Luke''': Don't ''say that.''

-->'''Luke''': ''[sighs]'' Between us, it's just been...\\

* Luke tells Jess that Lorelai's been going to therapy and fled to California to recreate ''Film/{{Wild}}''.

'''Troubadour''': Mom lies! You better run, little sister!\\

* The Town Troubadour chasing someone off his turf.. who happens to be his sister.[[note]]She happens to be played by Louise Goffin, Carol King's daughter, which makes the exchange even funnier.[[/note]]
-->'''Troubadour''': I don't have a sister!\\
'''Troubadour's Sister'''': Yes you do! Ask mom!\\
'''Troubadour''': She lies!

* Luke requiring a dictionary, a thesauraus, and a book on natural philosophy just to decode a letter from April.

* Luke requiring three a dictionary, a thesauraus, and a book on natural philosophy just to decode a letter from April.

[...]

-->'''Luke''': She's been going to a therapist. Do not say it was about time!\\

*** Rory tops it in the actual episode by having her servant call her [[Series/GameOfThrones Khaleesi.]]

--->'''Lorelai''': We were ''sixteen''! We didn't want to get married!
--->'''Emily''': When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father!
--->'''Lorelai''': '''OH''', '''MY''' '''GOD'''!!!!

--> '''Mother:''' I just love serving breakfast to my family!
--> '''Child:''' And I love Jesus!

Mrs. Kim shoots her a DeathGlare.\\
Babette sheepishly puts down her wine glass and starts saying silent grace, also elbowing Moorey to do so too.

--> '''Emily:''' [[InsaneTrollLogic When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy!]]
--> '''Lorelai:''' ''What'' does that even mean?

-->'''Lorelai:''' Well, OK, you're 16. You have a whole house to yourself for the evening. I expect that you're going to have your boyfriend over. But what is with the apron?
-->'''Rory:''' It's a long story.
-->'''Lorelai:''' Did it involve a sharp blow to the head?
-->'''Rory:''' I gotta go check on Apricot.
-->'''Lorelai:''' Oh my God! I just saw the pearls.
-->'''Rory:''' I'm going in now.
-->'''Lorelai:''' You know what? I'm going inside too. 'Cause I have to write down all the ways I'm gonna torture you about that outfit.
-->'''Rory:''' Good night!
-->'''Lorelai:''' Could I just get a picture though? 'Cause visual aids would really help. Oh, oh! Oh the shoes! I am dying. Oh.
** The beginning of the episode is also hysterical, with Loralai and Rory watching ''The Donna Reed Sow'' and making glorious commentary on the [[TastesLikeDiabetes sugary-sweet]] and sexist 1950's vibe they get from it.

--->'''Taylor:''' I'm not afraid of your [[GratuitousYiddish bubbes]], Rabbi.
--->'''Reverend:''' Oh, God, thank you for letting me be in the room when Taylor said that.

-->'''Mrs. Kim''': Who are you??
-->'''Jess''': Jess. [{{Beat}}] Ma'am.

-->'''Rory''': I think you're acting a little immature.
-->'''Lorelai''': I'm not acting.

-->'''Lorelai''': Listen, why don't you hang out, rest for a little while here. I'll go get you a real bandage.
-->'''Luke''': (slurring) I like the Barbie ones!
-->'''Lorelai''': Yes, honey, but the other kids will beat you up if they see you with one of those.

--> '''Jess:''' Someone ''prepared'' eggs to throw at my car?
--> '''Luke:''' Yep, that's paprika.

-->'''Lane''': ''What do I do?''
-->'''Rory''': Run around the block!
-->'''Lane''': Why?!
-->'''Rory''': I don't know!
-->'''Lane''': Good enough for me! (Takes off running)

-->'''Rory''': Oh! A girl told me once that if your scalp is hurting from bleach, drink a 7-Up! It's something to do with the bubbles.
-->'''Lane''': The Kim household does not have soft drinks!
-->'''Rory''': Well, what do you have?
-->'''Lane''': Something called salad water imported from Korea. Trust me, it's ''nothing'' like 7-Up!

-->'''Luke''': She's been going to a therapist. Do not say it was about time.\\

'''Mrs. Kim''' [turning to Babette]: Did you say silent grace?
'''Babette''': AHAHA! Good one!
Mrs. Kim shoots her a DeathGlare.

** Especially just before dinner.

'''Luke''': Rory, get her out of here!\\

-->'''Rory''': I have no job, I have no credit, I have no underwear!\\