History Funny / FamilyGuySeasons1to3

--> '''Meg:''' Oh my God.\\

* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GJzBopVRKPo Peter coming up]] with a LineOfSightAlias to explain why he's in the rehab cafeteria, and somehow manages to still say his real name. How? By spotting a "pea" on a dish, a "tear" running down a girl's face, and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers an]] ''[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers actual griffin]]'' flying through the cafeteria.

'''Pablo:''' How can he be Asian?! Santa doesn't drive his sled 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on! Go back to your rice patty, [[Franchise/{{Mulan}} Mulan!]]\\

* Peter's pitch for a new toy: ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]] Franchise/{{Transformers}}''. He shows off a figure of Blair has two alt modes: one where she's simply fatter, and one where she's a radioactive scorpion. He also claims to have invented one of Natalie that turns into a dilophosaurus from ''Franchise/JurassicPark'', and one of Tootie that turns into a stinkbug.

** Since it's a ''Willy Wonka'' parody, there are also Oompa-Loompa {{exp|y}}ies--in this case, they're called the Chumba-Wumbas. What's Joe's "bad" behavior that gets him kicked off the tour? Being in a wheelchair (the factory has no ramp). The song the they sing to him is [[CrossesTheLineTwice straight up insulting]].

* Peter's pitch for a new toy: ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]] Franchise/{{Transformers}}''. He shows off a figure of Blair has two alt modes: one where she's simply fatter, and one where she's a radioactive scorpion. He also claims to have invented one of Natalie that turns into a dilophosaurus from ''Franchise/JurassicPark'', and one of Tootie that turns into a stinkbug.

* When Mayor West pulls a DeliberateInjuryGambit to get out of Meg's interview him, his aide hands her a CartoonBomb that explodes in her face. Her mouth is suddenly replaced with a WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck-style beak on the back of her head that she turns to her face and declares [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny "Of course you realize, this means war!"]] before storming off.

* Peter's pitch for a new toy: ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]] Franchise/{{Transformers}}''. He shows off a figure of Blair has two alt modes: one where she's simply fatter, and one where she's a radioactive scorpion. He also claims to have invented one of Natalie that turns into a dilophosaurus from ''Franchise/JurassicPark'', and one of Tootie that turns into a stinkbug.

'''Peter:'' C'mon Stewie, we're gettin' outta here!

* Peter's pitch for a new toy: ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]] Franchise/{{Transformers}}''. He shows off a figure of Blair has two alt modes: one where she's simply fatter, and one where she's a radioactive scorpion. He also claims to have invented one of Natalie that turns into a dilophosaurus from ''Franchise/JurassicPark'', and one of Tootie that turns into a stinkbug.

* To turn Peter into a gentleman, Brian has him placed in front of two [=TVs=], one tuned to ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' and the other to ''Ricki Lake''. He also has him hooked up to a machine that shocks him if he so much as looks as ''Ricki Lake''.

* The various deadly [[MyLittlePanzer "toys"]] that [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfSgEZID1cA end up in the hands of children]] thanks to Peter's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbGeLjPzjoE negligence at his job]] (including an axe being used as a baseball and a fire-breathing doll named Baby Heimlich).

* After losing his job, Peter tries to avoid letting Lois see him not at work by disguising himself as a lamp and standing in the corner of the living room.
* Peter taking the family out for the most expensive meal they've ever had: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQF10YgDFBk ordering six thousand chicken fa-jie-tas at a fast food drive-thru.]]

-->'''Brian''': Who thought fraud would be one of her buttons?

* Peter's trip to the American Southwest:

* While Peter is teaching Meg how to drive, they get into a race with an Amish man who jumps out of his carriage when a wheel comes loose and it careens off the road. [[MadeOfExplodium It explodes]] [[EveryCarIsAPinto like a real car,]] [[RuleOfFunny then the horse that was pulling it follows suit]]. Peter then criticizes Meg for not flipping the driver off.

* The new FOX reality show: ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vihBGUuGCNo Fast Animals, Slow Children.]]''
* When Meg fails her driving test, Peter tries to comfort her by saying that he's had his share of disappointments; in a cutaway of Meg being born, the doctor informs Peter that she's a girl, and Peter, who was evidently [[WantedASonInstead hoping for a boy]] and is carrying a bunch of sporting equipment, asks him to check again.
* When a mob comes after Peter and Meg when they crash into the transmitter, Peter convinces them to take pity on Meg because [[BlatantLies she got her arm shot off in Vietnam]]. They believe him, despite Meg very clearly having both of her arms and being too young to have been in Vietnam.
* [[https://mobile.twitter.com/RefGarnet/status/1131411937269637126 This]] Franchise/ScoobyDoo parody, made even more hilarious because it's actually Creator/FrankWelker [[ParodyAssistance voicing Fred]].
* Tom and Diane saying politically incorrect things now that the news isn't broadcast in Quahog.

'''Cameraman:''' [[IsThisThingStillOn Hey guys, we're still on in Boston]].

--->'''Tom:''' Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking.\\

'''Cameraman:''' [[IsThisThingStillOn Actually, we're back on the air in Quahog]].\\
(both of them have an OhCrap look on their faces)

'''Peter:''' (swollen up and blue like Violet in the movie) [[ImplausibleDeniability No]].\\

* At the Bavarian Folk Festival, there are two booths selling German bratwurst and Polish sausage. Suddenly, [[ThoseWackyNazis the bratwurst vendor knocks the sausage vendor out and steals his stand]], then a nearby Czech wiener vendor looks uncomfortable.

-->'''Boy at the prize counter (Timmy):''' I have 13 tickets now. Is that enough?\\

''(The man presses a button causing Timmy to fall down a trapdoor screaming)''
** Before the flashback itself, Brian pulls up a stool, mentioning how "these things are always classic." And when Lois ends the flashback, Brian sarcastically applauds Peter, calling him "the Spaulding Gray of crap."

--> '''Stewie:''' *Yelling from his bed* DAMN IT TO THE BOWELS OF BLOODY HELL! \\

* The last time that Peter tried to change Stewie:
-->'''Stewie:''' No, no, no, you imbecile! That's not talc, that's paprika! No! (shoots stream of piss in Peter's eye) Take that!
* [[Series/SesameStreet Bert]] as [[Series/NYPDBlue Sipowitz]], bare-assed and all.

* Peter's pitch for a new toy: ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]] Franchise/{{Transformers}}''. His figure of Blair has two alt modes, one where she's simply fatter and one where she's a radioactive scorpion. He also claims to have invented one of Natalie that turns into a dilophosaurus from ''Franchise/JurassicPark'' and one of Tootie that turns into a stinkbug.

* Peter singing to kids at Sunday school and improvising after he forgets the words:

* Peter drives the family to New York. Sadly for him, he had a prune smoothie before he left. Worse, [[ColdTurkeysAreEverywhere the world seems to want to remind him that:]] They pass by sign saying "Dump, next left," a truck with the sign "WIDE LOAD," a furniture store with sign saying "All stools must go!", another car with bumper sticker saying "I love my Shih Tzu", and a sign reading [[EuphemismBuster "Only 15 Miles to Bob's House of Feces."]]

* After Peter tells the casino owners that he saw a spirit vision:

* At the dog show, when the announcer points out how hot it is, a bird bursts into flames.

* With Brian gone, the Griffins get a cat at Stewie's suggestion. Naturally, [[CatsAreMean it's pretty mean]].
-->'''Peter:''' (as the cat [[EyeScream pulls on his eyelids]]) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis God. I. Hate. This. Freaking. Cat.]]

* To save Brian from being executed, Peter mails Creator/RichardDeanAnderson a rubber band, a paper clip, and a straw so he can {{MacGyver|ing}} a solution. Anderson uses them to make a sort of slingshot and [[EyeScream hits himself in the eye]] with the rubber band.

* Peter's recount of being with Lois's parents during the holidays. Carter drops a pocketwatch near the fireplace and asks Peter to pick it up before kicking him into said fireplace and [[ManOnFire setting him on fire]], then tries to "put him out" by hitting him with a piece of firewood while Babs just laughs.
* Peter goes into an angry spiel upon hearing Lois' aunt is coming over. When she chastises him, he retorts by saying "sometimes it's okay to swear."

* Stewie orders one of his butlers to bring him his copy of the Wall Street Journal, then orders two other butlers to fight to the death. They do so without question.
* Brian has Peter hooked up to a machine that shocks him if he watches the right TV (tuned to ''Ricki Lake''). The left TV has ''Series/{{Frasier}}''.

* When Peter is being thanked by the auctioneer for a ridiculously generous bid, he compares him to "the most generous man since Ted Turner."

* To pay off his bid, Peter tries to make Cherrywood look like a historical landmark so he can sell it. To this end, he makes it looks like Jesus wrote "Jesus was here" 51 years before he was born, then claims that a large hole in the wall is [[LiteralMinded where the stock market crashed in 1929, a toy train under the floorboards is]] UsefulNotes/HarrietTubman's Underground Railroad, and that a regular rock is where the pilgrims landed at Series/FraggleRock.

* Being a devout Catholic, Francis has never liked the fact that Lois is Protestant; in a flashback of Peter and Lois after their wedding, it's shown that under the "Just Married" sign on their limousine, he taped a sign adding "To a Protestant whore".
* As Francis was never around for Peter during the latter's childhood, a flashback shows Peter having gotten 3rd place in a father-son three-legged race that he had to run with [[CompanionCube a stalk of corn]].
* After Francis lulls Stewie to sleep by reading him a passage of the Bible, Brian brings up God telling Abraham to kill Isaac. We're treated to UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln on deck of ''Series/TheLoveBoat'' walking up and shooting Isaac the bartender to death, causing a woman nearby to gasp in shock.

* The [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OsSJnV7Ik9o spoof]] of ''Series/TheDickVanDykeShow'''s intro, which involves the titular character tripping over an ottoman as usual, [[BlackComedy then things get worse]]: he then falls on a glass table and gets impaled by the shards, gets hit in the face with a clothing iron, stumbles into the kitchen and slips on a puddle that sends him into the oven, which [[ManOnFire sets him on fire]], falls onto and breaks the kitchen table, opens a drawer and gets his face stabbed with utensils, [[SerialEscalation before finally a car breaks through the wall and runs him over.]] The fact that [[SilenceIsGolden the only sound present]] is [[SoundtrackDissonance the upbeat big band music]] makes the scene even more priceless.

-->'''Peter:''' ''(after seeing [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]], John Wilkes Booth, and UsefulNotes/AlCapone sitting alongside Superman)'' What are you doing here?\\

* When Peter realizes that The Pope is in town, this happens:

* The fact that the very ''apocalypse'' was a few seconds late from happening. Seriously, count from when Peter finishes his countdown, to when Brian angrily retorts with "A flautist, Peter!" to the family's angry rumblings about Peter's actions to when the apocalypse actually happens.
* Peter attempting to feed beans to [[Series/MagnumPI Thomas Magnum]] through a TV screen, then scolding Higgins when he turns up onscreen. Seth [=MacFarlane=] has said that this is his favorite moment of the show.

* When a giant mutant rat approaches Joe, who is fused from the waist down to the concrete in his driveway, with the intent to eat him.

* The cutaway of the Griffins, Cleveland, and Quagmire staging an intervention for Peter when he's spent the last eight months wearing a giant foam cowboy hat.

* Peter looks for a potty-training book for Stewie. The salesman offers him "Everybody Poops" and the less popular "Nobody Poops But You", then when Peter says that he's Catholic, the salesman offers him "You're a Naughty Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming out the Back of You".
* Apparently, Peter never learned how to use a toilet by himself until after he got married.

* Brian goes skydiving, but before he jumps his instructor realizes that he gave him a parachute bag full of silverware. He gives Brian another bag... with an anvil, which the instructor says is probably fine.
* Brian has a drive out in the woods, but then accidentally hits a guy coming out of nowhere with his car. When he jumps out to help him:

''(Brian walks back to his car... [[TakeThat then runs over Koontz once more, then backs up and runs him over twice for good measure.)]]''
* The cutaway of Peter going to a drive-in movie theater, but he has his car parked backward so he can't see the screen and declares "This sucks!"

* Peter's theme for a parade float is based on the ''Series/WhosTheBoss'' episode "Briefless Encounter" where Tony sees Angela naked in the shower. When Lois says that it might be esoteric, a board of directors in Peter's brain try to decipher the meaning of "esoteric" and agree that [[IsItSomethingYouEat it means delicious]].

'''Brian:''' Swing and a miss.

* Later when the whole neighborhood helps to build the float:

'''Peter:''' You know what's really amazing? [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments I haven't brushed my teeth in three days, and no one has said a thing]].

* [[ItMakesSenseInContext Stewie ends up with a white family who has adopted multicultural kids, while he's jonesing for pancakes.]]

* The part where Peter pretends to be Santa Claus and Stewie manipulates the other children into fighting and then gloats about it:

'''African Baby:''' Don't be stupid! Santa is Black!\\
'''Indian Baby:''' Santa can't be Black. We do not fear him.\\

* When Peter tells the family that [[YourDaysAreNumbered he might die very soon]], everyone is shocked and saddened. Well, everyone except...
-->'''Stewie:''' High 5! Anyone? Anyone?

* The AdaptationalAlternateEnding to ''[[Film/Titanic1997 Titanic]]:
-->(Jack is seemingly drowning in the ocean)\\

* All Peter has to do is [[TouchOfDeath kill someone]] to restore the natural order of things:

'''Death:''' No. One death isn't gonna do it. You have to do something that will get everyone's attention, something ''huge''.\\

* Death himself solemnly explains the necessity of dying and brings up the idea of a world if Adolf Hitler was still alive. [[MoodWhiplash Cut to Hitler hosting a talk show]] where he interviews Creator/ChristianSlater and asks to see his ass, ending in addressing the audience that, if they would like tickets to the show, they should call "213-[[SuddenlyShouting DU WERDEST EINE]] [[GratuitousGerman KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN]][[labelnote:*]]"You will need a nurse!"[[/labelnote]]."

* Peter's [[InNameOnly version]] of ''Theatre/TheKingAndI''. "I now declare Siam, The United States of America!" (Then everybody sings a song ending with a gratuitous line about Paul Lynde being gay.)

* Peter trying to find his creativity:

* The slides in the timeshare presentation initially start off normal, until they randomly show the property as having an [[OurOgresAreHungrier ogre]] attacking and eating the residents.

* When Chris suggests writing a letter to get ''Gumbel 2 Gumbel'' back on the air, Peter said he tried that once and it got him in a lot of trouble. We then cut to Peter writing a letter saying, "If you don't put ''Series/{{Coach}}'' back on the air, I'll be very upset. The skillful acting of Creator/CraigTNelson will be missed a lot." But then he accidentally spills white-out on the letter, making it now read, "If you don't put Coach back on the air, I'll kill Creator/CraigTNelson," right before Peter sticks it in an envelope. In the next scene, Craig T. Nelson appears on Peter's doorstep. He then hands Peter a gun and tells him to "Make it quick."

* At a meeting at NBC headquarters, one of the execs protests that everything they come up with is the same generic thing and suggests they come up with something new. In response, the network president beats him to death with a framed poster for ''Series/JustShootMe''

* One of the things that Peter has his worshippers do for him is letting him use two of them as shoes.
* The plague of blood occurs while Meg is giving Stewie a bath. Meg is naturally freaked out. Stewie, not so much.
-->'''Stewie:''' (''still playing with his boat'') How delightful! It's as if someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!

* The montage of Peter's presidential campaign, with highlights such as him accidentally stabbing a guy in the chest with a button and seeing an ugly baby and shaking his hand instead of kissing him.
* At the debate, Peter can't think of anything for his opening statement so he quotes the opening theme songs of ''Series/OneDayAtATime1975'', ''Series/DiffrentStrokes'', and ''Series/TheFactsOfLife'' in turn, ending with "Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog!"

* Meg and Peter walking along in New York when the background suddenly changes to that of ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones''. They look around in absolute confusion before slowly backing away.

** He then ends up spraying himself with it.
* Brian recalling the last time he went to the theater with Peter. The family is seeing ''Uncle Vanya'', but Peter is just staring in disbelief at a scene before finally shouting, "What the hell is this?! For crying out loud, somebody throw a pie!"
* Meg accidentally calling Big Bird with her bird calls.

'''Big Bird:''' Oh, oh, this is funny to you? Yeah? You know what a pain in the ass it is to get across town, this time of day? Huh?\\

'''Big Bird:''' I don't fly, you know. I take the subway like everybody else. Oh, and people don't stare. You make me puke. ''(spits)'' Bitch.

* The cutaway with Robert Mapplethorpe as a caricaturist for a little kid:

'''Mapplethorpe''': Okay, I'm gonna draw him pooping on your chest. What number is he?

* The utterly ridiculous scene of a live confession between a couple on Diane Simmons' talk show:

* As the Griffins are having dinner at the shanty and Meg loudly [[ItMakesSenseInContext gets fed up with them being on reality TV,]] [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Stewie can be visibly seen in the tank behind them having an intense battle with a lobster.]]

* When Peter and Lois see Meg after she's replaced, it's shown that they distracted the cameramen by pretending to take Chris to soccer practice. He's sitting in the car as a pair of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls are in the front seats:

-->'''Stewie:''' Oh, for God's sake. There's only one way to put an end to this. ''(yells)'' [[HiddenWire He's wearing a wire]]!\\

* This gem, as they travel in a stolen car.

''(Brian slams on the brakes, makes Stewie smash into the windshield)''\\

* Brian and Stewie try to get to Brian's old home via a crop duster plane. They try to take off...only to put the plane between two cows, snapping the wings clean off. Stewie's completely deadpan reaction:

* Then when Lois catches on:
-->'''Dr. Amanda Rebecca:''' And then guess what I'm going to add?\\
'''Peter:''' Oh, jeez, if she says "Mrs. Dash", I'm gonna lose it.\\
'''Dr. Amanda Rebecca:''' I'm going to add—\\

'''Peter:''' ''(perks up)'' This is hot!\\

** And while Peter kisses Lois, [[RewindReplayRepeat he keeps replaying "you shoulda told me" on the tape.]]

--> '''Peter:''' Hey! Hey! Nobody better come in here! I'm the Griffin house! Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry!

* After buying a shoddy car because the salesman convinced him that it belonged to Franchise/JamesBond, Peter prepares to drive it out of the lot only for it to immediately break down. When he believes that the dealership will fix the car for him and Lois, the dealership building promptly collapses behind them.

* When Peter meets face-to-face with TheDon who asks him for a favor, which Peter assumes is gonna involve him killing someone.

* After Big Fat Paulie gets involved in a [[OverlyLongGag VERY long]] drive-by shooting and falls over dead, Peter's first reaction?

* When Peter realizes Lois has a mob hit on her now, he plans to move the family to England, where the worst thing there are "drive-by... arguments."

* When Peter has to find the Don to call off the hit on Lois, he can only find a mobster in a [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial "Pet Store. That's It, Pet Store."]]

'''Peter:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Come on, you know, the Don! You know, the captain of the mafia!]]\\

* This cutaway:

* Peter mistakes Louie Anderson for Big Fat Paulie, to which Louie [[GroinAttack kicks him in the groin]] for it.

* The main plot is started when someone calls Chris fat at the pool. What's funny is that the same thing happened at the store in the cold opening, so the main plot would have started earlier if the security guard didn't distract Chris with a chocolate bar.
* When Brian explains previous techniques to get rid of fleas, it cuts to him getting acupuncture by a Chinese doctor [[UnexplainedAccent with an inexplicably thick Irish accent.]] Even in the official commentary, the crew is just as confused and curious about where he's from.

* When fleas infest their household:

'''Peter:''' (proudly) It was then.\\

* The exterminators, for whatever reason, fight the fleas not with pesticides, but ''guns''. Also, one of them is traumatized after watching his family be kidnapped and presumably killed by fire ants, but comes out of his state of shock just in time to rescue his teammates from a ''single'' flea that they treated as something that could kill all of them.
* At the hotel that the Griffins check into while their house is being repaired, Stewie laments that the inner tube he was given to use the pool is shaped like a turtle, which he describes as "nature's D student".
* To get Chris to run on a treadmill, Peter [[MotivationOnAStick sticks a dart on Chris's forehead with a Twinkie tied to the other end]] so he'll chase after it. He later manages to get it by laying on his back and says that he'll turn it into poo.
* One of Chris's exercises is swimming upstream like a salmon. He's grabbed in the jaws of a {{bear|sAreBadNews}}, where Peter tells him to soil himself like they practiced.

* Later when Peter emerges as an almost unrecognizable hunk, Brian starts to tell who he presumes is a stranger to get out and, [[BreathlessNonSequitur without missing a single beat or changing his tone or facial expression]], realizes what's going on.

* Peter thinking a girl selling lemonade is a drug dealer:

'''Peter:''' Oh, cash only, huh, huh? No paper trail, huh? What are you selling? Reefer? Crack? Smack? Horse? X? Shrooms? Dust? Meth? In my neighborhood? I don't think so! ''(Peter smashes the lemonade stand)''

* After Peter has insulted Lois and walked out of the house, leaving her [[EatingTheEyeCandy staring after his toned ass]]:

'''Lois''': Oh, I can't help it! I know, I know, he's become a superficial, egomaniacal jerk. But I've never been more attracted to him. Does that make me a bad person?\\

** Fat!Stewie trying to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EdcMwM4-qM ride a spring-loaded horsey]] at the park. "Well then. Giddy-up."

* During Peter's audit, he reveals that he apparently was operated on by [[ComicallyIneptHealing a discount surgeon]].

* As Peter initially digs out the family's backyard himself for a pool when he's denied a tax refund, he accidentally cuts through a power line, shutting off Joe's TV, Quagmire's sex doll, [[RuleOfFunny and for some reason, Cleveland's trampoline.]]
* The entire scene where Peter goes to [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Mayor]] [[Creator/AdamWest Adam]] [[AdamWesting West's]] office for a pool permit, from when he jumps Peter and beats the crap out of him [[NoodleIncident thinking he's the district attorney]] to him [[OverlyLongGag enjoying his taffy.]] Seth [=MacFarlane=] says in the commentary "You should've seen him recording this, he was giving 110% that day."
* When Peter technically annexes Joe's pool as part of [[{{Egopolis}} Petoria,]] we cut to the US army informing then-president UsefulNotes/BillClinton and discussing their options. Their discussion is rather straightforward, but for some inexplicable reason, [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Clinton is completely nude.]]
* The [[SeriousBusiness complete and utter ridiculousness]] of the US imposing political sanctions against Petoria is best summed up with this [[TheComicallySerious straight-face line]] as Tom Tucker reports live from the military blockade:
--> '''Tom:''' I'm here at the Petorian front where the US has cut off all electricity, water, and gas to the tiny four-bedroom republic.
** What's more, Tom acts like he's doing serious war coverage, and afterwards he reports "Oh my god, they're opening fire!" as sounds fire off in the background... and then the camera pans to Tom simply popping bubble wrap and playing a slide whistle.
* In a hilarious fluke gag, as the US finally engages [[OperationBlank "Operation Bomb the Crap Out of Your House"]] ("The guy who comes up with the names is on vacation!"), their first missile misfires, instead hitting Quagmire's house. It doesn't explode, it just casually juts partway through the roof as Quagmire and a random woman are having wine on the couch.

* When everyone but Brian leaves Peter in his war against the US, Brian says that he's been with him through worse. Cut to Peter and Brian on a Ferris wheel where [[SpontaneousHumanCombustion Peter is inexplicably on fire]].
* The cutaway where Peter's grandfather worked in Termite Terrace.
--> '''Producer''': Okay, we've narrowed it down to two possible names. All in favor of "WesternAnimation/BugsBunny"? ''(everyone except Peter raises their hands)'' And all in favor of "Ephraim, the Retarded Rabbit"?\\

'''Peter:''' You bet your funny accent there's a problem, I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds! I am president of Petoria, I want a better seat.\\

* When Mayor West pulls a DeliberateInjuryGambit to get out of Meg interviewing him, his aide hands her a CartoonBomb that explodes in her face, then her mouth is suddenly replaced with a WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck-style beak on the back of her head that she turns to her face and declares [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny "Of course you realize, this means war!"]] before storming off.
* The sequence when Stewie imagines what being big would be like. Turns out he would [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvWo4fAg7lg open a Big and Tall Man's Shop]] for other plus-sized men. The image of Stewie's normal head on the body of a gigantic fat guy is hilarious.
** And immediately after, when Chris helps him get the Fig Newtons he was after, he begins to muse about using his older brother for his schemes--until he's interrupted by how good the Fig Newton tastes and screams "OH MY '''GOD,''' THERE'S AN '''ORGY''' IN MY '''MOUTH.'''"
* Stewie trying to buy instruments of carnage at the hardware store using a mind-controlled Chris. Creator/SethGreen affecting a Chris-ified version of Stewie's plummy EvilBrit accent while spouting Stewie-esque AxCrazy [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon threats]] is ''hysterical''. The "''Family Guy'' Cast and Creator" episode of ''Series/InsideTheActorsStudio'' reveals that this is Green's favorite Chris scene.
* Peter tries to cheer Meg up by giving her a pony that he kept in the closet, but evidently, he forgot to feed it and it turned into a skeleton.
-->'''Peter:''' Oh...Oh God, that's right. Ponies...P-Ponies like food, don't they? Oh, boy.

* After admitting that he lied about the last Silver Scroll being found so he could find it himself, Tom punishes himself by putting a live earwig in his ear. Nothing happens for a few seconds, then Tom takes a deep inhale and starts screaming bloody murder as it [[EyeScream eats out the back of his eyes]].

''(brief pause, then Young Peter looks down in shame)''
* The whole ''Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'' [[CharlieAndTheChocolateParody spoof]]. It has a ninja, a faked drive-by shooting, and a hilarious parody of "Pure Imagination"! As Peter says:

** Since it's a ''Willy Wonka'' parody, there, of course, must be Oompa-Loompa {{exp|y}}ies--in this case, they're called the Chumba-Wumbas. What's Joe's "bad" behavior that gets him kicked off the tour? Being in a wheelchair (there's no ramp). The song the Chumba-Wumbas sing is [[CrossesTheLineTwice straight up insulting]].

** In a sight gag that's not even acknowledged in the episode itself, the fourth set of people on the tour are Grandpa Joe and Charlie themselves.
* To get Peter drunk before the competition, Lois takes him to a party. When the police arrive and question Peter why he's drinking illegally, he tells Lois to [[LookBehindYou look over there]] and then tells the two officers to run. They fall for it.

* After taking Cleveland Jr. as his golfing protégé, Peter asks him to call him [[Series/DiffrentStrokes Mr. Drummond]]. Peter later asks him to call him [[Series/{{Webster}} Mr. Papadopoulos]], but Cleveland Jr. draws the line at letting Peter call him Series/{{Webster}}.
* The cutaway of Kevin Swanson just having finished sex with his wife:

--> '''Stewie''': Remind me to ask the doctor when my left testicle's going to drop.

* Peter [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDBmkJmuj7k converting the living room into a replica of]] ''Series/PeeWeesPlayhouse''. ''Especially'' Brian's line:
-->'''Brian:''' [[TranquilFury Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka-hiney h-ohh God, I hate you so much]].

* At the debate, Peter can't think of anything for his opening statement so he quotes the opening theme songs of ''Series/OneDayAtATime'', ''Series/DiffrentStrokes'', and ''Series/TheFactsOfLife'' in turn, ending with "Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog!"

'''Peter:''' ''(who has his hand tucked in his armpit, the armpit area of his shirt stained red, and is shivering violently)'' It was on Website/EBay. ''(doubles over and vomits)'' OH GOD, CALL AN AMBULANCE!

* When everyone but Brian leaves Peter in his war against the US, Brian says that he's been with him through worse. Cut to Peter and Brian on a Ferris wheel where [[ManOnFire Peter is inexplicably on fire]].

* Stewie's attempt at flying solo doesn't work out.
-->'''Heckler''': [[TakeThat This is worse than]] ''Theatre/{{Seussical}}''!

* Stewie's attempt at flying solo doesn't work out. A heckler blasts his show as being "[[TakeThat worse than]] ''Theatre/{{Seussical}}''".

* Stewie's attempt at flying solo doesn't work out. A heckler blasts his show as being "[[TakeThat worse than]] ''Theatre/{{Seussical}}''.

-->'''Stewie:''' Boy, will your face be red when they find the black box on this one.

-->'''Peter:''' Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes... I-I mean nickels and boobs... Money! ''(runs to the bedroom with the tape)'' I'll be upstairs!

-->'''Relationship Doctor:''' And then guess what I'm going to add?\\

'''Relationship Doctor:''' I'm going to add—\\

'''Lois:''' Peter! ''(Peter screams)'' I know what you've been doing, and I'm very upset with you.\\

'''Lois:''' If you wanted to see a woman acting nasty ''(starts stripping)'' you shoulda told me.
** And while Peter kisses Lois, he keeps replaying "you shoulda told me" on the tape.

-->'''Brian:''' Hey pal, you can't just come in here without ''holy crap, it's Peter.''

'''Peter:''' It doesn't have to, [[ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful I'm beautiful]]!

-->'''Peter''': ''(regarding the mother)'' Oh my god, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint she's got hair growing out of her boobs and up to her head!]]\\

'''Chris''': [[OhCrap Permission to]] FreakOut!

* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VbOPpgrTXh8 Stewie playing]] ''Pictionary'' with the family that's [[ItMakesSenseInContext prematurely moved into the Griffins' house]]: