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Changed line(s) 99 (click to see context) from:
'''Fighter''': Well, no, not yet. (turns Black Mage around to shoot fire at the down Vilbert and Cow on a stick) '''Now''' it's [[IncrediblyLamePun Wood in Steak]].\\
to:
'''Fighter''': Well, no, not yet. (turns Black Mage around to shoot fire at the down Vilbert and Cow on a stick) '''Now''' it's [[IncrediblyLamePun [[{{Pun}} Wood in Steak]].\\
Changed line(s) 265 (click to see context) from:
'''Thief:''' [[IncrediblyLamePun Piercing gaze?]]\\
to:
'''Thief:''' [[IncrediblyLamePun [[{{Pun}} Piercing gaze?]]\\
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--> '''Fighter:''' Man, traffic is always so bad on the King Steve.[[note]]Which was ''just built''.[[/note]] \\
'''White Mage, Black Mage, and Thief:''' [[BigShutUp SHADDUP!]]
'''White Mage, Black Mage, and Thief:''' [[BigShutUp SHADDUP!]]
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** Bicke's crew is pathetically weak and easily beaten due to suffering from severe scurvy. Turns out Bicke fed them nothing but Cheetos, arguing that Cheetos are "orange", so they were packed with Vitamin C just like real oranges.
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Changed line(s) 422 (click to see context) from:
[[/folder]]
to:
Changed line(s) 436 (click to see context) from:
to:
[[/folder]]
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to:
* [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2010/06/01/the-epilogue/ Three Years Later...]]
** White Mage meets Red Mage and Dragoon at a TGIF-type restaurant with a Dark Warriors theme, due to them having been given the credit for Chaos's defeat, with the servers dressed up as Garland, Bicke, and for some reason, Matroya and King Steve. It serves meals such as [[CallBack Rat-Tail Soup and Twelve-Dragon Nachos.]]
** One of the patrons is the incredibly poorly made dummy of Thief Dr. Malpractice used to fool the elven court back during the Dark Elf arc.
** Red Mage and Dragoon have formed a support group for adventurers like them who are the sole survivors of their respective organizations, but membership has hit a brick wall. Dragoon thinks the name is the problem.
--> '''Red Mage''': Look, we're [[UnfortunateNames Sects Buddies]], okay? That's not going to change!
** Red Mage can somehow eat with his mask on.
** Thief is now the King Of Elfland, and is stuck dealing with a DeadlyDecadentCourt, leading to him asking White Mage to keep quiet about some of the more humiliating moments of the Light Warriors adventures. He also has a very important question about the Light Warriors being given some credit in the defeat of Chaos.
--> '''Thief''': Is there gold in it?
--> '''White Mage''': You get a plaque.
--> '''Thief''': A ''gold'' plaque?
--> '''White Mage''': No, Thief.
** It turns out Thief also has people looking for Fighter and Black Mage, but mostly so he can further trick them out of any money they might have.
** Meanwhile, Figher and Black Mage are right back WhereItAllBegan, looking for random jobs in a small town. Fighter suggests they go looking for that Armor Of Invincibility they never found.
** White Mage meets Red Mage and Dragoon at a TGIF-type restaurant with a Dark Warriors theme, due to them having been given the credit for Chaos's defeat, with the servers dressed up as Garland, Bicke, and for some reason, Matroya and King Steve. It serves meals such as [[CallBack Rat-Tail Soup and Twelve-Dragon Nachos.]]
** One of the patrons is the incredibly poorly made dummy of Thief Dr. Malpractice used to fool the elven court back during the Dark Elf arc.
** Red Mage and Dragoon have formed a support group for adventurers like them who are the sole survivors of their respective organizations, but membership has hit a brick wall. Dragoon thinks the name is the problem.
--> '''Red Mage''': Look, we're [[UnfortunateNames Sects Buddies]], okay? That's not going to change!
** Red Mage can somehow eat with his mask on.
** Thief is now the King Of Elfland, and is stuck dealing with a DeadlyDecadentCourt, leading to him asking White Mage to keep quiet about some of the more humiliating moments of the Light Warriors adventures. He also has a very important question about the Light Warriors being given some credit in the defeat of Chaos.
--> '''Thief''': Is there gold in it?
--> '''White Mage''': You get a plaque.
--> '''Thief''': A ''gold'' plaque?
--> '''White Mage''': No, Thief.
** It turns out Thief also has people looking for Fighter and Black Mage, but mostly so he can further trick them out of any money they might have.
** Meanwhile, Figher and Black Mage are right back WhereItAllBegan, looking for random jobs in a small town. Fighter suggests they go looking for that Armor Of Invincibility they never found.
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Changed line(s) 305 (click to see context) from:
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.
to:
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.[[note]]The answer is "Make your swords become like things unto chainsaws."[[/note]]
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--> '''Fighter:''' Psst! What does "situational homosexuality" mean?
Deleted line(s) 236 (click to see context) :
--> '''Fighter:''' Psst! What does "situational homosexuality" mean?
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
'''Matoya:''' [[{{Dissimile}} No]], it's Warrant! Gwa ha ha ha ha!
to:
'''Matoya:''' [[{{Dissimile}} No]], it's Warrant! Music/{{Warrant}}! Gwa ha ha ha ha!
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* Bikke's EstablishingCharacterMoment:
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
** Then, when they return to Sarda...
-->'''Sarda''': I trust you were successful in your mission to acquire the precious cold fusion reactor.
-->'''Sarda''': I trust you were successful in your mission to acquire the precious cold fusion reactor.
* Red Mage suggests selling "starmetal" from the asteroid Black Mage dropped. Black Mage laughs at him. Red Mage suddenly transforms five chunks of the asteroid into metal.
--> '''Black Mage''': I believe in '''magic''' and that still made no sense.\\
'''Red Mage''': In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed.
--> '''Black Mage''': I believe in '''magic''' and that still made no sense.\\
'''Red Mage''': In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed.
Changed line(s) 417,421 (click to see context) from:
* Bikke's EstablishingCharacterMoment:
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
* Soon after, Thief dismisses the supposed hauntedness of the woods they're in:
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
* Soon after, Thief dismisses the supposed hauntedness of the woods they're in:
to:
* Bikke's EstablishingCharacterMoment:
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
* Soon after,Thief dismisses the supposed hauntedness of the woods they're in:
-->'''Bikke:''' Consider the lives of me crew forfeit.\\
'''Garland:''' I'm sure it won't come to that.\\
'''Bikke:''' It will if I '''says''' it will.
* Soon after,
Changed line(s) 428,432 (click to see context) from:
* Red Mage suggests selling "starmetal" from the asteroid Black Mage dropped. Black Mage laughs at him. Red Mage suddenly transforms five chunks of the asteroid into metal.
--> '''Black Mage''': I believe in '''magic''' and that still made no sense.\\
'''Red Mage''': In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed.
* Red Mage creates a nuclear fusion reactor (read: an ice cube) which can create ''cold heat''. The team discuss how stupid it is, and leave it in the Arctic. Then, when they return to Sarda...
-->'''Sarda''': I trust you were successful in your mission to acquire the precious cold fusion reactor.
--> '''Black Mage''': I believe in '''magic''' and that still made no sense.\\
'''Red Mage''': In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed.
* Red Mage creates a nuclear fusion reactor (read: an ice cube) which can create ''cold heat''. The team discuss how stupid it is, and leave it in the Arctic. Then, when they return to Sarda...
-->'''Sarda''': I trust you were successful in your mission to acquire the precious cold fusion reactor.
to:
--> '''Black Mage''': I believe in '''magic''' and that still made no sense.\\
'''Red Mage''': In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed.
* Red Mage creates a nuclear fusion reactor (read: an ice cube) which can create ''cold heat''. The team discuss how stupid it is, and leave it in the Arctic. Then, when they return to Sarda...
-->'''Sarda''': I trust you were successful in your mission to acquire the precious cold fusion reactor.
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* From the invasion of Dwarfland arc:
-->'''Thief''': Ack! Beard-shaped parasites are eating their faces!\\
'''Black Mage''': [[KillItWithFire Kill 'em all! Let the flames sort it out!]]
** Another example from that arc:
--->'''Red Mage''': I'm going to be in front this time, so no more- \\
'''Black Mage''': (''[[EyeBeams laser-eyes]] the village, setting it on fire'')\\
'''Red Mage''': Come on. Now you're just doing it to annoy me. You don't even HAVE heat vision.\\
'''Black Mage''': ''(shrugs)'' Meh.
** The whole arc was ComedicSociopathy!
--->'''Dwarf:''' By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!\\
'''BM (winking):''' Because it seemed excessively cruel!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Everything I love is combustible!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Why aren't I dead yet?
-->'''Thief''': Ack! Beard-shaped parasites are eating their faces!\\
'''Black Mage''': [[KillItWithFire Kill 'em all! Let the flames sort it out!]]
** Another example from that arc:
--->'''Red Mage''': I'm going to be in front this time, so no more- \\
'''Black Mage''': (''[[EyeBeams laser-eyes]] the village, setting it on fire'')\\
'''Red Mage''': Come on. Now you're just doing it to annoy me. You don't even HAVE heat vision.\\
'''Black Mage''': ''(shrugs)'' Meh.
** The whole arc was ComedicSociopathy!
--->'''Dwarf:''' By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!\\
'''BM (winking):''' Because it seemed excessively cruel!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Everything I love is combustible!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Why aren't I dead yet?
* Possibly Fighter's greatest line.
-->'''Victor Von Vampire:''' Are you ready?\\
'''Red Mage:''' I was BORN ready.\\
'''Fighter:''' I was born naked and screaming.\\
'''Black Mage:''' And if all goes according to plan, [[HumanSacrifice you'll die that way too.]]
-->'''Victor Von Vampire:''' Are you ready?\\
'''Red Mage:''' I was BORN ready.\\
'''Fighter:''' I was born naked and screaming.\\
'''Black Mage:''' And if all goes according to plan, [[HumanSacrifice you'll die that way too.]]
* After the rest of the group leaves Black Mage behind with a monster, they discuss how he's going to follow them (Fighter thinks they're going back, the rest are trying to ditch him), when suddenly BM flies through the air and lands in front of them, and gives us this.
-->'''Black Mage:''' I found out what zombies are weak against.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Oh?\\
'''Black Mage:''' [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Point blank annihilation]].
** After Black Mage gets back from killing the orc zombie and promptly passes out from flying into the ground at high speeds:
--> '''Red Mage:''' Oh, he's dead.\\
'''Thief:''' No, just passed out.\\
'''Red Mage:''' ''[pulls out a sword]'' I am '''never''' wrong.
-->'''Black Mage:''' I found out what zombies are weak against.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Oh?\\
'''Black Mage:''' [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Point blank annihilation]].
** After Black Mage gets back from killing the orc zombie and promptly passes out from flying into the ground at high speeds:
--> '''Red Mage:''' Oh, he's dead.\\
'''Thief:''' No, just passed out.\\
'''Red Mage:''' ''[pulls out a sword]'' I am '''never''' wrong.
* The [[StoryArc arc]] where the team's diversion from their supposed mission was to run up an extortion racket after routing both the town guard and the mafia.
-->'''Bank Teller''': This is a robbery?\\
'''Thief''': No, robbery is what my friends are doing. (''BeatPanel'') Robbery and ''some'' murder.\\
'''Bank Teller''': This bank is oozing with magic alarms! The city guard will be here any minute!\\
'''Thief''': There's something tragic and hilarious you don't know about that.
** And later in that arc:
--->'''Thief''': Our protection racket ''is'' great, but providing concrete incentives to ''be'' protected would be great.\\
'''Red Mage''': So...we're going to rob them now?\\
'''Thief''': Yes.\\
'''Black Mage''': How is that different from what we've been doing all along?\\
'''Thief''': ''Very'' slightly.
** Until the whole thing comes to an end with:
--->'''Black Mage''': Just cooperate, or we'll do [[NukeEm this]].\\
(''nuclear explosion panel'')\\
'''Thief''': There ''is'' such a thing as being too illustrative.
-->'''Bank Teller''': This is a robbery?\\
'''Thief''': No, robbery is what my friends are doing. (''BeatPanel'') Robbery and ''some'' murder.\\
'''Bank Teller''': This bank is oozing with magic alarms! The city guard will be here any minute!\\
'''Thief''': There's something tragic and hilarious you don't know about that.
** And later in that arc:
--->'''Thief''': Our protection racket ''is'' great, but providing concrete incentives to ''be'' protected would be great.\\
'''Red Mage''': So...we're going to rob them now?\\
'''Thief''': Yes.\\
'''Black Mage''': How is that different from what we've been doing all along?\\
'''Thief''': ''Very'' slightly.
** Until the whole thing comes to an end with:
--->'''Black Mage''': Just cooperate, or we'll do [[NukeEm this]].\\
(''nuclear explosion panel'')\\
'''Thief''': There ''is'' such a thing as being too illustrative.
* The whole of the [[ChainsawGood Glorious Chainsaw Method]] ability:
-->'''Red Mage''': Fighter! ''(holds out index card)'' Do as the card commands!\\
''(BeatPanel)''\\
'''Red Mage''': ...Fighter?\\
'''Fighter''': It hasn't said anything yet...\\
'''Black Mage''': ''Take'' the card and then ''read'' the card.\\
'''Fighter''': ''(does so)'' 'Kay.\\
'''''(BZZZRR!)'''''\\
'''Red Mage''': Should have probably told Black Mage to get out of the way.\\
''(Black Mage gets back to his feet)''\\
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.
-->'''Red Mage''': Fighter! ''(holds out index card)'' Do as the card commands!\\
''(BeatPanel)''\\
'''Red Mage''': ...Fighter?\\
'''Fighter''': It hasn't said anything yet...\\
'''Black Mage''': ''Take'' the card and then ''read'' the card.\\
'''Fighter''': ''(does so)'' 'Kay.\\
'''''(BZZZRR!)'''''\\
'''Red Mage''': Should have probably told Black Mage to get out of the way.\\
''(Black Mage gets back to his feet)''\\
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.
* Red Mage's tale of defeating a monster through the "vigorous" use of animal husbandry.
--> '''"Each was more prehensile than the last!"'''
--> '''"Each was more prehensile than the last!"'''
Deleted line(s) 361,405 (click to see context) :
* After the rest of the group leaves Black Mage behind with a monster, they discuss how he's going to follow them (Fighter thinks they're going back, the rest are trying to ditch him), when suddenly BM flies through the air and lands in front of them, and gives us this.
-->'''Black Mage:''' I found out what zombies are weak against.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Oh?\\
'''Black Mage:''' [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Point blank annihilation]].
* The [[StoryArc arc]] where the team's diversion from their supposed mission was to run up an extortion racket after routing both the town guard and the mafia.
-->'''Bank Teller''': This is a robbery?\\
'''Thief''': No, robbery is what my friends are doing. (''BeatPanel'') Robbery and ''some'' murder.\\
'''Bank Teller''': This bank is oozing with magic alarms! The city guard will be here any minute!\\
'''Thief''': There's something tragic and hilarious you don't know about that.
** And later in that arc:
--->'''Thief''': Our protection racket ''is'' great, but providing concrete incentives to ''be'' protected would be great.\\
'''Red Mage''': So...we're going to rob them now?\\
'''Thief''': Yes.\\
'''Black Mage''': How is that different from what we've been doing all along?\\
'''Thief''': ''Very'' slightly.
** Until the whole thing comes to an end with:
--->'''Black Mage''': Just cooperate, or we'll do [[NukeEm this]].\\
(''nuclear explosion panel'')\\
'''Thief''': There ''is'' such a thing as being too illustrative.
* From the invasion of Dwarfland arc:
-->'''Thief''': Ack! Beard-shaped parasites are eating their faces!\\
'''Black Mage''': [[KillItWithFire Kill 'em all! Let the flames sort it out!]]
** Another example from that arc:
--->'''Red Mage''': I'm going to be in front this time, so no more- \\
'''Black Mage''': (''[[EyeBeams laser-eyes]] the village, setting it on fire'')\\
'''Red Mage''': Come on. Now you're just doing it to annoy me. You don't even HAVE heat vision.\\
'''Black Mage''': ''(shrugs)'' Meh.
** The whole arc was ComedicSociopathy!
--->'''Dwarf:''' By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!\\
'''BM (winking):''' Because it seemed excessively cruel!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Everything I love is combustible!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Why aren't I dead yet?
* The whole of the [[ChainsawGood Glorious Chainsaw Method]] ability:
-->'''Red Mage''': Fighter! ''(holds out index card)'' Do as the card commands!\\
''(BeatPanel)''\\
'''Red Mage''': ...Fighter?\\
'''Fighter''': It hasn't said anything yet...\\
'''Black Mage''': ''Take'' the card and then ''read'' the card.\\
'''Fighter''': ''(does so)'' 'Kay.\\
'''''(BZZZRR!)'''''\\
'''Red Mage''': Should have probably told Black Mage to get out of the way.\\
''(Black Mage gets back to his feet)''\\
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.
-->'''Black Mage:''' I found out what zombies are weak against.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Oh?\\
'''Black Mage:''' [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Point blank annihilation]].
* The [[StoryArc arc]] where the team's diversion from their supposed mission was to run up an extortion racket after routing both the town guard and the mafia.
-->'''Bank Teller''': This is a robbery?\\
'''Thief''': No, robbery is what my friends are doing. (''BeatPanel'') Robbery and ''some'' murder.\\
'''Bank Teller''': This bank is oozing with magic alarms! The city guard will be here any minute!\\
'''Thief''': There's something tragic and hilarious you don't know about that.
** And later in that arc:
--->'''Thief''': Our protection racket ''is'' great, but providing concrete incentives to ''be'' protected would be great.\\
'''Red Mage''': So...we're going to rob them now?\\
'''Thief''': Yes.\\
'''Black Mage''': How is that different from what we've been doing all along?\\
'''Thief''': ''Very'' slightly.
** Until the whole thing comes to an end with:
--->'''Black Mage''': Just cooperate, or we'll do [[NukeEm this]].\\
(''nuclear explosion panel'')\\
'''Thief''': There ''is'' such a thing as being too illustrative.
* From the invasion of Dwarfland arc:
-->'''Thief''': Ack! Beard-shaped parasites are eating their faces!\\
'''Black Mage''': [[KillItWithFire Kill 'em all! Let the flames sort it out!]]
** Another example from that arc:
--->'''Red Mage''': I'm going to be in front this time, so no more- \\
'''Black Mage''': (''[[EyeBeams laser-eyes]] the village, setting it on fire'')\\
'''Red Mage''': Come on. Now you're just doing it to annoy me. You don't even HAVE heat vision.\\
'''Black Mage''': ''(shrugs)'' Meh.
** The whole arc was ComedicSociopathy!
--->'''Dwarf:''' By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!\\
'''BM (winking):''' Because it seemed excessively cruel!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Everything I love is combustible!\\
\\
'''Dwarf:''' Why aren't I dead yet?
* The whole of the [[ChainsawGood Glorious Chainsaw Method]] ability:
-->'''Red Mage''': Fighter! ''(holds out index card)'' Do as the card commands!\\
''(BeatPanel)''\\
'''Red Mage''': ...Fighter?\\
'''Fighter''': It hasn't said anything yet...\\
'''Black Mage''': ''Take'' the card and then ''read'' the card.\\
'''Fighter''': ''(does so)'' 'Kay.\\
'''''(BZZZRR!)'''''\\
'''Red Mage''': Should have probably told Black Mage to get out of the way.\\
''(Black Mage gets back to his feet)''\\
'''Black Mage''': WHAT. DID YOU WRITE. ON THAT CARD.
Deleted line(s) 410,414 (click to see context) :
* Possibly Fighter's greatest line.
-->'''Victor Von Vampire:''' Are you ready?\\
'''Red Mage:''' I was BORN ready.\\
'''Fighter:''' I was born naked and screaming.\\
'''Black Mage:''' And if all goes according to plan, [[HumanSacrifice you'll die that way too.]]
-->'''Victor Von Vampire:''' Are you ready?\\
'''Red Mage:''' I was BORN ready.\\
'''Fighter:''' I was born naked and screaming.\\
'''Black Mage:''' And if all goes according to plan, [[HumanSacrifice you'll die that way too.]]
Deleted line(s) 422,427 (click to see context) :
* After Black Mage gets back from killing the orc zombie and promptly passes out from flying into the ground at high speeds:
--> '''Red Mage:''' Oh, he's dead.\\
'''Thief:''' No, just passed out.\\
'''Red Mage:''' ''[pulls out a sword]'' I am '''never''' wrong.
* Red Mage's tale of defeating a monster through the "vigorous" use of animal husbandry.
--> '''"Each was more prehensile than the last!"'''
--> '''Red Mage:''' Oh, he's dead.\\
'''Thief:''' No, just passed out.\\
'''Red Mage:''' ''[pulls out a sword]'' I am '''never''' wrong.
* Red Mage's tale of defeating a monster through the "vigorous" use of animal husbandry.
--> '''"Each was more prehensile than the last!"'''
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* The ''entirety'' of Red Mage's "cold fusion" plan. Long story short, the Light Warriors were shipwrecked in the tundra and Red Mage set out to find a way to keep warm. The results were one of his [[InsaneTrollLogic stupidest plans in the entire comic]]:
-->'''Red Mage:''' Right. So, based on the principle of hot air being hot, as Black Mage alluded to, I took it upon myself to investigate the source of hot air as a concept. Long, ''brilliant'' story of analytical genius short: Heat comes from energy. The greatest source of energy is fusion. So, in a ''stunning'' leap of mental power, I constructed our own fusion generator out of what I could find.
-->'''Thief:''' There's nothing but ice for thousands and thousands of miles.
-->'''Red Mage:''' How else do you propose to create ''cold'' fusion?
--> One GilliganCut later...
-->'''Black Mage:''' You've created a giant block of ice.
-->'''Red Mage:''' In the form of a cold fusion reactor, yes.
-->'''Black Mage:''' Er, of course. Now, explain how this was going to help us survive?
-->'''Red Mage:''' Given: fusion creates energy. Energy then begets heat. Therefore, ''cold'' fusion makes cold energy that gives off ''cold'' heat.
-->'''Black Mage:''' [[FlatWhat What?]]
-->'''Red Mage:''' But since we want warm, or "non-imaginary" forms of heat, we'd have to reverse it. The opposite of cold fusion is cold fission. See? That's why I needed Fighter. He was going to split the ice. Cold fission would make hot cold, and warm us in this desolate place. [{{Beat}}] He'd split it with his sword.
-->'''Black Mage:''' Oh, I get it.
-->'''Red Mage:''' Now that Fighter [[EnragedByIdiocy is]] [[BackStab down]], we'll have to try something else.
-->'''Thief:''' [[StatingTheSimpleSolution Like take advantage of the fact that ice is a natural insulator of heat and hollow out an ice shelter to block the bitter winds that are assaulting us.]]
-->'''Red Mage:''' Thief, this is no time for your crazy voodoo physics. Ice is cold, so it would insulate coldness. No, our task is clear. We must build an even ''larger'' block of ice to push this one onto Fighter's sword at a precise angle thus splitting it to unleash precious cold fission energies.
-->'''Black Mage:''' ''[to Thief]'' I should like to hire you for an assassination, good sir.
-->'''Thief:''' Oh, no. This one is free of charge. ''I insist.''
** Just a reminder that Thief is insisting on providing something for free. '''''Thief.'''''
-->'''Red Mage:''' Right. So, based on the principle of hot air being hot, as Black Mage alluded to, I took it upon myself to investigate the source of hot air as a concept. Long, ''brilliant'' story of analytical genius short: Heat comes from energy. The greatest source of energy is fusion. So, in a ''stunning'' leap of mental power, I constructed our own fusion generator out of what I could find.
-->'''Thief:''' There's nothing but ice for thousands and thousands of miles.
-->'''Red Mage:''' How else do you propose to create ''cold'' fusion?
--> One GilliganCut later...
-->'''Black Mage:''' You've created a giant block of ice.
-->'''Red Mage:''' In the form of a cold fusion reactor, yes.
-->'''Black Mage:''' Er, of course. Now, explain how this was going to help us survive?
-->'''Red Mage:''' Given: fusion creates energy. Energy then begets heat. Therefore, ''cold'' fusion makes cold energy that gives off ''cold'' heat.
-->'''Black Mage:''' [[FlatWhat What?]]
-->'''Red Mage:''' But since we want warm, or "non-imaginary" forms of heat, we'd have to reverse it. The opposite of cold fusion is cold fission. See? That's why I needed Fighter. He was going to split the ice. Cold fission would make hot cold, and warm us in this desolate place. [{{Beat}}] He'd split it with his sword.
-->'''Black Mage:''' Oh, I get it.
-->'''Red Mage:''' Now that Fighter [[EnragedByIdiocy is]] [[BackStab down]], we'll have to try something else.
-->'''Thief:''' [[StatingTheSimpleSolution Like take advantage of the fact that ice is a natural insulator of heat and hollow out an ice shelter to block the bitter winds that are assaulting us.]]
-->'''Red Mage:''' Thief, this is no time for your crazy voodoo physics. Ice is cold, so it would insulate coldness. No, our task is clear. We must build an even ''larger'' block of ice to push this one onto Fighter's sword at a precise angle thus splitting it to unleash precious cold fission energies.
-->'''Black Mage:''' ''[to Thief]'' I should like to hire you for an assassination, good sir.
-->'''Thief:''' Oh, no. This one is free of charge. ''I insist.''
** Just a reminder that Thief is insisting on providing something for free. '''''Thief.'''''
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Changed line(s) 22,26 (click to see context) from:
---> '''White Mage:''' Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry!
---> '''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
---> ''[Beat]''
---> '''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
---> '''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
---> '''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
---> ''[Beat]''
---> '''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
---> '''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
to:
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Changed line(s) 23,26 (click to see context) from:
'''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
''[Beat]''
'''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
'''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
''[Beat]''
'''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
'''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
to:
---> '''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
---> ''[Beat]''
---> '''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
---> '''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
---> ''[Beat]''
---> '''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
---> '''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
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Added DiffLines:
* Black Mage's entire [[CrashIntoHello first meeting]] with White Mage, setting the tone for their future relationship for years to come:
---> '''White Mage:''' Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry!
'''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
''[Beat]''
'''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
'''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
---> '''White Mage:''' Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry!
'''Black Mage:''' [[GibberishOfLove Hubba flubba wabba zabba]] ''([[InternalMonologue thinking]])'' Snap out of it, you fool! The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on the patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression. ''([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer out loud]])'' '''''I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!'''''
''[Beat]''
'''White Mage:''' Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me.
'''Black Mage:''' I think she likes me!
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---> '''Red Mage''' (after creating a horribly mutated chocobo): All it required was a cocktail of dangerous experimental surgery and a willingness to ignore the unnecessary suffering of perfectly innocent beings! Also, I shot magic into their chromosomes until they turned inside-out. [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/03/23/episode-676-supernatural-selection/ Evolution is my bitch.]]
to:
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Changed line(s) 98 (click to see context) from:
'''Red Mage''': But he. You can't. Love, hate, clouds.*''collapses''*
to:
'''Red Mage''': But he. You can't. Love, hate, clouds.*''collapses''**''collapses''*\\
'''Thief''': White Mage, Black Mage! Something bad has happened to physics. I'll need your help re-estabishing order to the universe after I'm done with RM's wallet.
'''Thief''': White Mage, Black Mage! Something bad has happened to physics. I'll need your help re-estabishing order to the universe after I'm done with RM's wallet.
Deleted line(s) 314 (click to see context) :
* '''Thief''': White Mage, Black Mage! Something bad has happened to physics. I'll need your help re-establishing order to the universe as soon as I'm done with RM's wallet.
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Deleted line(s) 332 (click to see context) :
** ElGoonishShive MIGHT have a few jokes that come close, maybe...but 8-bit theater's is certainly the most epic.
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* Black Mage's reaction on meeting Vilbert.
-->'''Black Mage''': Can we kill him now? He's a [[EmoTeen goth]], it's what he wants.
-->'''Black Mage''': Can we kill him now? He's a [[EmoTeen goth]], it's what he wants.
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* After they finally get off the island, and end up going on a long roundabout trip to finally get back to Circle Cave, Sarda teleports them back to him just as they reach the cave's entrance. Black Mage is understandably furious, asking if Sarda could have done that at any time. Sarda says no he couldn't, "just any time he felt like it." Cue Black Mage having a complete meltdown.
--> '''Red Mage''': I'd say his moral framework just snapped, but what moral framework?
--> '''Red Mage''': I'd say his moral framework just snapped, but what moral framework?
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* '''[[MadeOfExplodium *KABOOM*]]''' "Yar? ...Must be Explodin' Tuesday." and ''"WHY WOULD IT EXPLODE?"''
Deleted line(s) 382 (click to see context) :
* '''[[MadeOfExplodium *KABOOM*]]''' "Yar? ...Must be Explodin' Tuesday." and ''"WHY WOULD IT EXPLODE?"''
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Changed line(s) 180 (click to see context) from:
'''Thief:''' Piercing gaze?\\
to:
'''Thief:''' [[IncrediblyLamePun Piercing gaze?\\gaze?]]\\
