History Funny / Dogma

* "[[RetroactiveWish BEAUTIFUL, NAKED, BIG-TITTED WOMEN DON'T JUST FALL OUT OF THE SKY, YOU KNOW!]]"

-->''[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade No ticket.]]''

* Absolutely anything out of [[DeadpanSnarker Metatron]]'s mouth that ''isn't'' a [[Heartwarming/{{Dogma}} Heartwarming Moment]] or [[Awesome/{{Dogma}} Moment of Awesome]]. ** [[DumbassHasAPoint "Good Lord. The little stoner's got a point."]]

* Absolutely anything out of [[DeadpanSnarker Metatron]]'s mouth that ''isn't'' a [[Heartwarming/{{Dogma}} Heartwarming Moment]] or [[Awesome/{{Dogma}} Moment of Awesome]].
** [[DumbassHasAPoint "Good Lord. The little stoner's got a point."]]

-->'''Bethany''': [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex Mary and Joseph had sex?]]
-->'''Rufus''': All the time! Shit, [[TheImmodestOrgasm she was a screamer!]] Jesus told me stories about [[RightThroughTheWall hearing them through the walls]] when he was a kid.

** "Tell someone you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Creator/CharltonHeston [[Film/TheTenCommandments movie]] and [[SmallReferencePools suddenly everyone's a theology scholar]]."

* As Bethany talks to Metatron for the last time, Silent Bob fills Jay in on her, until then, [[TearJerker heartbreaking]] [[DisneyDeath]] via [[MoodWhiplash very silly pantomime]].

*** Especially hysterical because [[spoiler:the third option turns out to be ''God Him/Herself'', who impregnates Bethany while healing her at the end of the movie.]]

* After Jay accidentally makes Bethany realize that [[spoiler:John Doe Jersey is really God, trapped in human form]]:

* As Bethany talks to Metatron for the last time, Silent Bob fills Jay in on her, until then, [[spoiler:[[TearJerker heartbreaking]] DisneyDeath]] via [[MoodWhiplash very silly pantomime]].

* The extended DVD scene of Rufus revealing [[spoiler: Jesus wasn't an only child]] is a good case of CrossesTheLineTwice, since Bethany is shocked Mary and Joseph had a healthy sex life like any other married couple. "Believing in immaculate conception is one thing, but believing a married couple never got down? That's just plain gullibility!"

* The extended DVD scene of Rufus revealing [[spoiler: Jesus wasn't an only child]] is a good case of CrossesTheLineTwice, since Bethany is shocked Mary and Joseph had a healthy sex life like any other married couple. "Believing in immaculate conception is one thing, but believing a married couple never got down? That's just plain gullibility!"
-->'''Bethany''': [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex Mary and Joseph had sex?!]]
-->'''Rufus''': All the time! Shit, [[TheImmodestOrgasm she was a screamer!]] Jesus told me stories about [[RightThroughTheWall hearing them through the walls]] when he was a kid.

-->'''Jay''': Dude, [[BiTheWay not all the time]]!

-->'''Rufus''': When you do it, you're thinking about guys.

-->'''Jay''': Dude, not all the time!

--->'''Metatron''': ''(after God [[spoiler:explodes Bartleby's head]])'' You missed a bit. ''(brushes off suit)''

** "The Buddy Christ!"

** "Tell someone you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Creator/CharltonHeston movie and [[SmallReferencePools suddenly everyone's a theology scholar]]."

** "Give over, I couldn't rape you even if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped--see? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll."

** "Tell someone you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Creator/CharltonHeston movie and suddenly everyone's a theology scholar."

-->'''Loki''': But I do believe in this. ''(starts shooting the board members)''\\

-->'''Rufus''': All the time! Shit, [[TheImmodestOrgasm she was a screamer!]] Jesus told me stories about hearing them through the walls when he was a kid.

* Meta: doubling as a CMOA, the night that "Dogma" premiered, [[MoralGuardians a group stood outside a theater in Eatontown, NJ]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QepgKVOVfZ8 Kevin Smith himself was part of the crowd,]] [[{{Troll}} pretending to side with them.]]