Good People Have Good Sex - Television Tropes & Idioms

''In Heaven, they make love...

...on Earth, they have sex...

...but down here in Hell...down here, they fuck.''

—Silver, Jack

Main characters and other positive characters always have healthy sex lives. They might go through long periods of not being in a relationship (they may even be Hollywood Dateless), but when they are in one, the sex is frequent and good (unless the relationship is near its end).

Another version is that when villains have sex, it tends to be quick and emotionless while when heroes make love, it tends to be slow and passionate.

Unless, of course, they're teenagers, in which case any on-screen mention of sex will end in awkwardness at best, tragedy at worst. See Their First Time.

Only laughingstock old guys ever need Viagra. In the days before such drugs existed, male impotence was generally perceived as a trait of villains. Impotence leads to insanity, which leads to evil actions, as with General Ripper in Dr Strangelove or the Man with the Golden Gun.

Only characters of questionable morality have "weird" sexual preferences. Many years ago, this included gays and lesbians. Since the 1990s, if not before, gayness has been largely freed from this trope. Not so for bisexuals, nor subcultures such as S&M or "furries".

This excludes Very Special Episodes, pleading for tolerance, and series which intentionally include such preferences to be "edgy". Of course, in the latter, most characters have questionable morality anyway.

Note that this idea of "good sex" is sometimes only held by the sympathetic protagonist, who meets humorless people who consider sexual pleasure as depraved and define "good sex" (or "goodsex") by its absence.

Justified in that one of the primary traits associated with 'good people' is empathy.

Examples:

Anime and Manga

Played straight in Full Metal Panic, where Sousuke... well, it's not so much that he has good sex as he's so innocent he doesn't even get it (well, no sex is good sex, right?). But he's definitely shown to contrast with the villains, who have very depraved kinks / are promiscuous. There's Gauron, who's definitely a major Nightmare Fetishist - the guy's a Sadomasochistic, Depraved Bisexual pedophile and necrophiliac. And then there's Gates, who's an Ax Crazy rapist Lolicon that is shown to masturbate to animal nature videos. And you have the lesbian Creepy Twins Xia Yu Fan and Xia Yu Lan (who also quite possibly have something going on with Gauron) that are shown to be pretty promiscuous (what with their knowledgeable ways of seducing the AS repairmen who worked at Amalgam). In fact, even the villainous female scientist that only had a small part in the beginning had depraved kinks (as shown further in the novels). Both she and Gauron apparently had a thing for Asphyxiation, as she seemed to enjoy him choking her just as much as he did. He lampshades it mockingly and with amusement.
Subverted in Berserk. It takes Casca and Guts at least one try before they can make sweet, sweet love without one of them having a bad bout of temporary insanity caused by post traumatic stress from childhood sexual abuse.
- Whereas Griffith, the series Big Bad (though not yet, at that point in the story) had had very good sex only one chapter before.
  - YMMV on that one. Griffith really didn't seem to enjoy it that much, as he later is shown to claw at his own body in disgust (much the same way he did after he slept with the old nobleman in the past for money). Not to mention that it's made clear that he only slept with her out of depression and rebound after Guts left. Of course, Charlotte on the other hand liked it very much...
Kare Kano spruced up its one and only sex scene by having flowers cover everything.
The heroes in Mnemosyne spend their free time having sweaty lesbian encounters. The villains' preferred pastime involve ropes, sharp objects, and innards.
Final Yamato was, until 2009, the last chapter of the Space Battleship Yamato saga. It concludes with the long-awaited wedding of the Official Couple, followed immediately (in the theatrical version) by tearfully passionate sex scene.

Comic Books

Averted all over the place in Watchmen, though this is possibly due to the moral ambiguity of all the characters. Nevertheless:
- The first costumed hero, Hooded Justice, is implied to be a) homosexual and b) an S&M enthusiast.
  - There is a subtle hint in the artwork of one issue that implies that he settled into a stable and loving relationship with another man later in life, thus playing this trope straight. More info can be found here.
- The first female costumed adventurer, Silhouette, was a lycra-clad lesbian femdom with a horsewhip.
- Of all the protagonists, Dan Dreiberg (or Nite Owl II) is the closest thing to a truly upstanding, moral idealist in the whole piece, and he has a costume fetish; the first time he and Laurie go at it, he can't get it up at all.
- The first Silk Spectre has an affair with the man who savagely beat and tried to rape her, leading to an interesting discussion of the Rape Is Love trope and Laurie, but that's neither here nor there.
- Rorschach may actually be a straight example, as he doesn't have sex at all and has a firm Sex Is Evil stance (there's a hint he may be a repressed homosexual), and it's clear he isn't good people.
Taken to extremes in the Preacher graphic novels. The main character, Jesse Custer, prefers having sex with his pretty, blonde girlfriend on the hood of a Cadillac - or in the driver's seat of a stolen hot-rod during a police pursuit. An All-American Boy, in other words. Meanwhile, virtually all of the villains are sexual perverts to a ridiculous degree. And/or gay or bisexual. Or at least French.
- The same thing in Goddess, another Garth Ennis comic book. Giving villains, anti-heroes, and... pretty much everyone strange kinks is one of Garth Ennis' favorite jokes.
- From #17, Miracle Man:
Tulip: That... was... perfect. I mean, it's always perfect, but that was sort of... perfect in its perfection, you know?
- Although immediately subverted when Tulip figures out that Jesse only gave her "the fuck of the century" to make her amenable towards his plan to rescue Cassidy without her.
In Joss Whedon's last arc of Astonishing X Men, before the X-Men make their final stand against the Breakworld, Colossus is overwhelmed by the position he finds himself in, as he is supposedly prophesied to destroy the Breakworld. While he and Kitty Pryde are granted shelter by a renegade "pacifist" Breakworlder, as they prepare for bed, Kitty distracts Colossus from his emotional turmoil by standing before him completely naked. The next issue we see them in afterglow. Apparently it was very good:
Kitty: Whoof!
Colossus: Katya, I...
Kitty: Wait, not done with 'Whoof'. You are better than I imagined. And I've imagined.

Film

In Robert Rodriguez's Desperado, we have an extended, passionate love scene — one of the hottest in mainstream cinema — between the main protagonists, El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas!) and his love interest Carolina (Salma Hayek!). Cut to the villain Bucho lying on his bed, smoking a cigar and looking bored while a prostitute bounces up and down on him. Then she kisses him and he blows smoke into her mouth, sending her into a coughing fit.
In The Departed, Matt Damon's villain character is impotent (or at least succumbs to it on one occasion, tellingly right after he's gotten engaged, betraying his deep-seated trust issues. The hero, Leonardo DiCaprio, is a lovin' machine.
In Magicians, one of the characters is tormented by his manipulative gay agent who repeatedly mentions his erectile dysfunction in order to prevent him from forming any other relationships. When he finally gets in bed with a woman, his erectile dysfunction is cured.
Seducing Dr.Lewis has all the villagers having awesome sex when the fishing was still strong and plentiful. After they finally manage to get their factory in the village, they finally have good sex once again.
Averted in Team America World Police, when the hero finally gets the girl, the puppet-on-puppet sex is Nightmare Fuel.
- Considering how "good" the "heroes" in this particular film are(n't), it may not be a aversion at all.
When Syndrome learns that Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl (Bob and Helen Parr) got married and have children, he flat-out calls them on this. Made even more incredible that this is a Disney film.
Played completely straight in Nora Ephron's Julie & Julia. Both of the protagonists are in loving relationships and apparently have lots of good sex.
Averted in Shortbus. Most of the characters struggle with their sex lives but retain their sympathy to the audience.
In Spartacus the titular hero is straight and monagamous (claims of Ho Yay notwithstanding), the corrupt but essentially sympathetic Gracchus is a womaniser and the outright evil Crassus is a Depraved Bisexual.
Merrily subverted in every incarnation of The Addams Family, where Weird People Have Weird Sex — and also, very obviously, a terrific time.

Literature

Solomon and one of his wives in The Bible's "Song of Songs".
- Theologically speaking, this book is usually considered an oddly risque metaphor for God's love towards His people, which I guess would be playing the trope straight, though in a rather weird way.
This was very common in the James Bond novels, where Bond himself is of course a Chivalrous Pervert, and many of the villains were depicted as perverted, psycho homosexuals, or impotent. One of the few cases where Fleming's pop psychology was close to Truth In Television is depicting the Psycho For Hire Red Grant in From Russia With Love as a homicidal maniac incapable of any kind of arousal except for arguably that he gets from killing. There is some link between sociopathy and lack of sex drive which is explicitly part of some characters and would certainly explain others.
Discussed in Meyer's Breaking Dawn. Despite being a good person (at least as far as the book thinks), Edward's rock-hard body, super speed/strength, and vampire instincts cause him to accidentally bruise the still-human Bella on their honeymoon (while biting a few pillows). Bella apparently likes it rough, but Edward feels that not being gentle in bed makes him a bad person, tying into his issues with his own violence and his massive self-hatred complex, and refuses to have sex with her again, no matter how much she begs. When she finally convinces him to give it another try, he doesn't give her any more bruises, though he does break the headboard of the bed. Of course, when she is eventually turned, the bruising no longer becomes a problem. The other Cullens also apparently have extremely violent, house-breaking sex, but they seem to like it.
The "Bad People Have Bad Sex" aspect of this trope is spoofed in the fictitious play "The Courier's Tragedy" in Thomas Pynchon's The Crying Of Lot 49. In the play, all the villains are incestuous perverts. At no point in the novel does anybody have good sex, but they all appear to enjoy what they have. The Handsome Lech is compared, within the text, to Humbert Humbert.
Atlas Shrugged, being an Author Tract written by Ayn Rand, treats this as a Writer On Board issue: Strawman Socialists can't help but believe that Sex Is Evil; Rearden has the misfortune to be married to one of them, so Dagny justifies the consummation of her affair with him by her having experienced a guiltless pleasure greater than anything they could tolerate.
- This is very similar to the Dystopia of Nineteen Eighty Four, where the Party's aim is to eliminate all sexual pleasure and eventually to make sexual intercourse obsolete even for procreation. (In Newspeak, "goodsex" is understood to mean "normal intercourse between man and wife, for the sole purpose of begetting children, and without physical pleasure on the part of the woman.")
- The (arguably) dystopic Brave New World has casual promiscuity removing all intimacy from sex.
In John Shirley's Eclipse series, this is very much so — he at one point has a juxtaposition of good and bad characters' sex scenes to make the point. Of course, the whole series is left-wing political porn seemingly designed to boost spirits (at least) during the Reagan Darkness.
Shows up somewhat unexpectedly in Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (perhaps not so unexpectedly considering the sympathetic treatment of Good Bad Girl Sissy). One chapter introduces an unmarried mother who proudly walks down the street with her baby carriage. The "good housewives" who shriek and throw stones at her are said also to have Bad Sex:
There was no longer high joy for them in the act of love. They endured the love-making rigidly, praying all the while that another child would not result. This bitter submissiveness made the man ugly and brutal. To most of them, the love act had become a brutality on both sides; the sooner over with, the better. They resented this girl because they felt this had not been so with her and the father of her child.
Harry Turtledove's Alternate History body of work is large enough that Turtledove's feelings about sex are now absolutely clear: the only acceptable sex is between a husband and wife (and thanks to his inability to write a good sex scene, the feeling comes across that even that isn't acceptable). The following evidence supports that conclusion:
- The next gay character in a Turtledove AH novel will be the first. This is despite the fact that a good portion of his novels involve men away from any type of female companionship for extended periods of time.
  - Turtledove's fantasy novels (those not specifically set in an alternate Earth) have at least one: Gorgidas, the Greek physician to a Roman Legion that winds up in the fictional world of Videssos. But yeah, almost no gay characters.
  - Don't forget Lucille, the lesbian nurse in the Worldwar series that Mutt has a crush on.
- Heterosexual couples who have physical relations without benefit of matrimony have a tendency to end up dead, usually by violence.
  - Well, no. Anne Colleton & Roger Kimball. Lucien Galtier & Eloise Granche. Flora Hamburger & Hosea Blackford; Scipo & Bathsheba (although they did marry later.) Although a number of these folks do not survive to the end of the eleventh book, that's more because the books cover forty years and two global wars than anything else.
- In Timeline 191, now eleven books and counting, there have been exactly two mentions of brothels, despite the fact that over half the characters are military men in a time (1888 to 1945 and beyond) when there were always such establishments near any military post.
  - Simply incorrect. One: Dowling's meeting a spy in a Utah "sporting house." Two: the establishment George Enos was heading for when his monitor was attacked. Three: Maggie Stevenson's establishment, which Sam Carsten visited. Four: Miss Lucy's establishment, which Michael Pound visited.
  - And one, count 'em, one off-hand mention of masturbation among said military men, said, of course, in the context of being a poor substitute for the character's wife.
  - The only main character in the series who never actually has sex is the Hitler Expy villain.
- Even thinking about straying from one's spouse brings on incredible feelings of guilt, on every subject from cheating to picking up a venereal disease and giving it to the spouse.
- In situations where one might give vent to sexual license, no main or secondary character takes advantage, and they routinely state they're disgusted by those who do.
  - Assuming visiting a brothel counts as "giving vent to sexual license": Dowling and Pound (see above) do so, and don't give it so much as a second thought.
  - At least one exception towards the end of the "Darkness Descending" series: Leudast.
- The key moment for one character's development from foot soldier in the trenches to Adolf Eichmann Expy is him catching his wife sleeping with his best friend.
  - Demonstrating that that was somehow "key" is going to be a tall order. He was on the losing side of the Great War, and the Freedom Party was the only thing in his post-war life that gave him a sense of belonging.
- Somewhat averted in at least one instance in the World War series, though, as a woman who believes her husband is dead is apparently free to fall in love with someone else, have a fair amount of unmarried sex, and then, when the missing husband turns up fine (after, it's worth noting, spending most of his time thinking about his wife and desperately trying to get back to her), he's treated like the jerk for being upset that his wife basically cheated on him. There's a distinct lack of karmic justice as the husband goes on to basically psychologically disintegrate over the entire course of the series, while "the other man" arguably becomes the main POV character of the series (and is something of a Marty Stu - if not an Author Avatar - to boot), with his son later becoming a major POV character himself.
  - Somewhat justified in that the husband had been declared legally dead and by the time he returned, she's already married to (and pregnant by) the other man. And it's suggested multiple times that the baby was the main reason she didn't go back to her first husband.
- And if all of that wasn't enough, along comes The United States Of Atlantis, where the last third of the book is derailed by the revelation that the main character has fathered an illegitimate child with a slave woman. The sheer quantity of angst is stifling. It's made worse by the fact that the character is the George Washington Expy, and he's trying to run a war of independence at the time.
Played straight, averted, and subverted in the Star Wars Expanded Universe.
- First, Luke and Mara regularly use double entendres around each other, but some of these have an S&M subtext, e.g. "I hope he doesn't mean the same thing as when I call you master," subverting it.
  - Luke also had a one-night stand with Akanah in the Black Fleet books. In typical Luke style, he was emotionally attached to her, and then learned everything she told him was a lie.
- Played straight in the Jedi Academy Trilogy, where Admiral Daala has homophobic thoughts.
- Played straight and averted in The Courtship of Princess Leia, with a (good) race of amazons that enslave men and a (bad) queen who tries to seduce and kill Luke, and her (good) son imagines the two of them having sex.
- Averted in The Joiner King, with Zekk fantasizing about sex with Jaina, Alema Rar, and Jag.
- Played straight in Invincible by having Tahiri molest Ben. Eventually he inspires her to perform a High Heel Face Turn.
- Corran Horn, depending on the book, averts it (his sexual history includes a Selonian) and plays it straight (having sex with Mirax every time they see each other, and having plenty of history with human women).
- Leonia Tavira, the main antagonist of I, Jedi, plays it straight, having sex with her underlings as a reward.
- Oddly, the Jedi of the Old Republic avert the trope by having as much sex as they want, so long as there's no emotional attachment.
- To finally ensure it's played straight, Luke and Leia never ever mention the former's previous crush on the latter.
- The Yuuzhan Vong, of course. An entire species of sadomasochists.
- Karen Traviss's Mandalorians don't give a toss about homosexuality.
Both played straight and averted in the Kushiel's Avatar and Kushiel's Legacy trilogies. One of the major ideas of the series - which features an entire nation whose "hat" is kinky sex — is that the real difference between "good" and "bad" sex isn't kinkiness (the heroine is a sadomasochist) but rather consent. The good characters care about it. The evil characters don't.
Averted in the Tom Clancy novel The Sum of All Fears. Told from the perspective of Jack Ryan's wife Cathy, the couple is in bed and she is definitely getting hot and bothered while they are in the foreplay part of things. But right when she's ready to take it to the next level, she finds out that Jack's little spy can't quite penetrate her deep cover agent. She is obviously frustrated, though the incident is blamed on Jack's increased drinking, long work hours, and hellish work environment.
The happily married and loving Arthur and Molly Weasley. As Draco Malfoy points out to Ron in the first book, they have more kids than they could afford.
Twilight Edward and Bella as newlyweds. So 'good' in fact that super-strong Edward bruises her all over her arms and torso.
- The whole Happily Married Cullen family: Bella even marvels, once she realizes how great vampire sex is, why they aren't having sex all the time.
"Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?" - Emmett Cullen
- Edward even has to warn Bella that she can't just have sex 24/7.

Live Action TV

Played straight in Veronica Mars, of all places. Veronica and Logan have a happy, healthy sex life, whereas in the season 2 finale it is hinted that Beaver couldn't get it up with Mac, right before the revelation that he is the Big Bad serial killer of the season, who murdered an entire Bus Full Of Innocents. Made even worse when you look at the backstory: earlier in the show, Beaver once raped Veronica when she was lying unconscious, implying that he's a complete sexual pervert. Also, he had Chlamydia, which he passed on to Veronica.
No-one in The Bill engages in "rough sex". If anyone says that, it's a rape and/or domestic abuse situation.
In Buffy The Vampire Slayer, when Buffy's morally ambiguous counterpart, Faith, takes over her body, she attempts to get kinky with Buffy's boyfriend, Riley. To her initial disappointment he insists on missionary position, under the covers. She latter found the intimacy of it to be... distressing.
- Subverted in earlier seasons. The amoral mass-murdering vampires Spike and Dru have a happy, long-term relationship. It's so blatantly loving it would be sickeningly sweet if they weren't constantly killing people. Meanwhile, the good guys are entangled in a mess of love polygons and generally incapable of expressing attraction or communicating with their partner once in a relationship.
  - That said, all of the major villainous vampires in both Buffy and Angel are very big into sadomasochism - which brings up the Acceptable Lifestyle Targets aspect of this trope.
Subverted in Ed. After seasons of Will They Or Wont They, Ed and Carol finally get together. They jump into bed with the right slow-motion effects and stirring music. But the next shot shows two, very disappointed individuals.
Avoided to a degree in Jack Of All Trades episode, "X Marquis the Spot", where the people on Agony Island (most notably Hans and Helga) are depicted as shunned by society for their love of bondage, but not wrong or evil. The Marquis is evil, but that has more to do with him being French than being a sadomasochist. At the end of the episode, Emilia mentions that although S&M isn't for everyone, there's nothing inherently evil about it. Jack is too creeped out to agree.
The Viagra example is played with in an episode of Scrubs. Elliot assumes the above about it, then, while in the cafeteria, Dr. Cox sets her straight by having everyone in the room close their eyes, then asks anyone who's ever used Viagra for recreational purposes to chime their glass. The room is filled with ringing, especially from Ted.
Used throughout 7th Heaven.
Averted in Pushing Daisies, where the two leads are unable to touch without one of them dying, but have a fulfilling monogamous relationship anyway. It's mentioned at one point that Ned, the male lead, has invented "contraptions" to enable them to have sort of sex life, so their choices are essentially between "no sex" and "extremely kinky sex", and it appears that at least some of the time, they go for the latter option.
Lois and Hal are sexually very active. Very active.
- Then again, Lois is a tyrannical bitch and Hal is a sitcom dad.
The Secret Life Of The American Tenager - Jack and Grace. Amy and Ricky - the insensitive, school man-whore/male slut - have terrible sex when he impregnates her at band camp.

Video Games

Inverted by Shiki from Tsukihime. The guy is a beast, with exception of maybe Kohaku's route.
- And played straight in Kagetsu Tohya, which has by far Shiki's most loving and consensual scene ever...with Len.
In the fan-produced Dance With Rogues Neverwinter Nights module series, the character Vico is a psychotic axe-crazy blackguard. Unless your character insists, he will try to have anal sex with you at every opportunity
Inverted in Fate Stay Night. The villains Kuzuki and Caster have a good sex life. In contrast, the hero Shirou's encounters with Saber in one route are fairly average, and in another route, he's way too rough on Rin (who is, of course, a virgin).
- Played straight in that when the characters have sex for some reason other than its own sake, at least one of the participants doesn't enjoy it. Caster and Kuzuki (no ulterior motives), Shirou and Saber (during the second scene they had both acknowledged that there was more to their relationship than "mana transfer"), and Shirou and Sakura (during their second and third encounters) are the only scenes that don't have rape undertones.
  - This is likely some manner of Author Appeal in the Nasuverse, given its frequency...
In Metal Gear Solid 3, Volgin is a Depraved Bisexual S&M enthusiast that loves using electric torture. Let's just say that EVA's experience sleeping with him wasn't very pleasant for her. Now, Big Boss on the other hand, was a gentle, good experience for her... (Fortunately, or less fortunately as it regards to EVA, all of Volgin's more positive attention seems to be directed towards Major Raikov. Unless Raikov is just into that.)
In probably the most hilarious scene in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, Catalina, by far one of the craziest characters of the game, turns out to be into S&M during the cutscene for the "Gone Courting" mission. We don't see anything of the act itself, but she proceeds to chain C.J. to a rack and then takes a whip to him (all the while Carl is all "No, baby, please, I ain't into that shit!") before getting down to business.

Web Comics

Miranda and Donovan Deegan are both in their 60s and still very much in love with each other.
This trope is the basis for about half of Joyce and Walky.
In most of RH Junior's webcomics - particularly Nip And Tuck and Goblin Hollow - only the Happily Married have good sex lives. Sex is only ever mentioned otherwise in the context of either "Good girls don't" and "Sleazebags do."
In one Palindramas guest strip, the cartoonist and his wife show their love with the help of a palindrome (and a couple of DV Ds).
The page quote above comes from Jack, in which this seems to be an immutable law of the world. You could also replace "on Earth" with "in Purgatory."

Western Animation

Used in Justice League's episode "The Great Brain Robbery." The quality of the sex is (heavily implied to be) one of the things that tips Tala off to Lex Luthor not being himself.
Tala: Baby, you were so... different. So attentive. So caring. So... enthusiastic.
Flash (in Lex's body): Uh...
Tala: I like it! (resting her head on his shoulder happily)
- Which is exactly why she doesn't say anything.

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